Welcome to this Friday’s re-cap. Have a seat anywhere you like, kick back, relax, and let the soothing words of turd talk slowly melt into your pores. Ellis was busy shitting and puking all night long and watching Jaws 1 through 4. Sounds like a 24-hour stomach bug of some kind or maybe food poisoning, but he’s a sick cunt mate, so he powered through and still did a show today. Guess what, THC called in and he’s been sick as fuck too and he’s thinking he had some bad turkey burgers. Speaking of turkey burger, shout out to @mrsjessliv and @bwstrangler on the birth of their child! Good news for Rawdog, one of Katie’s friends who cuts hair, just moved to LA and does home appointments. So sounds like Rawdog might be getting his hair cut once a month while on the show from what I assume is a hot piece of poon.
According to a former Abercrombie & Fitch model, he alleges that they flew him to photo shoot where the modeling agent said he needed to look more relaxed. And how do you look more relaxed? By masturbating of course! So he was told to strip down and whack off, while the camera man was nice enough to make him feel more comfortable by stripping himself and then comparing their cocks & balls. Hey, some millionaire dude did so much cocaine that his nose collapsed, that’s gotta make you feel better about your nose, right? Rawdog thinks elephants are the king of the jungle, not lions. But hey, this is coming from a man that thinks salads are pure fucking evil. However, he does want to be a blue whale, which I think is a solid choice. It’s way better than a fuckin’ conch.
That dude from that show? Yea, he died in an apparent murder / suicide. He was on some designer drug called “smiles” and killed his landlady, tore apart her kitty, and then something else… wait, no, yea, he died. There are Fight Club rules and then there are Threesome Club rules: Pump your significant other more than the other one. Marky Mark the jeweler dude was on the show today to deliver a battle axe necklace to Ellis. Wanna know the names of some of the porn stars that going to Ellis’ pool party? Sure you do! Tera Patrick, Missy Martinez, Allison Moore, Emily Parker, Kayla Paige, and Randy Wright, Kendall Karson, and one other gash owner were mentioned.
Everyone masturbates, everyone – even animals. And you know what, it’s all good for you and for them. On the topic of things that are good for you, Dingo stopped by the show today and brought along Momma Dingo, his mother! Gigantic surprise, she has a thick Australian accent, and what sounds like a lisp. She calls him “Luke” when talking to him, but when talking to others about him, it’s “Dingo.” I don’t think I ever knew his real name was Luke, so that’s a bonus. She’s also a Justin Timberlake fan, just in case you were wondering what you might get her for Christmas. Fuck it. So your mom walked into this bar, sits down to order a drink and the bartender asked, “You seem down, why the long face?” She replied, “I have cervical cancer.” OH!