Welcome to a LIVE Thursday show, brought to you by Pressed Juicery and all their juicy goodness. Apparently some construction dudes accidentally cut the string that connected the two cans between the Swinghouse and New York causing the last two days to be without live shows. Rawdog came in with a new style that he ripped off from Tully but even with the new digs, he’s still not going to race Tiger in a simple bicycle course. The Lightning Train was late today, because of school or some stupid shit. He revealed that he too has kidney stoned and he probably got them from sharing the same drinking fountain
as Rawdizzle. He’s also diabetic and eats like shit 3 out of 7 days, so don’t get too attached to him. Lin Sanity fell out of bed and landed on his 90 percentile melon, but he’s okay. This led to the discussion of kids getting hurt and stitches and breaking bones and shit. I’m a dad and I know from experience, the dents in their head pop back out over time, and if not, just keep that part of their hair a little long. Oh yeah, there’s a bacon shortage, sorry fatty.
If your a Japanese billionaire with a lesbian daughter what do you do? Answer, give a reward to any dude that can get her to marry him. She is looking for a guy with a great sense of humor, loves the outdoors, likes sushi, and has a vagina. Ellis is having a Big Fucking Mega Party at his new house and your invited. Wait, nope sorry, wrong list. He was asking for ideas for things to have at this said party that you won’t be at and most of them sounded pretty awesome. Most of them. Other people should learn to punch themselves in the dick hard enough to prevent any procreation. Ellis suggested that Josh break up with his dominatrix and go stag to the party so he can get some stank on his hang low from some grade A poon. He declined, isn’t that cute. If you are one of the lucky few that get to go to the party, remember party rule #1, don’t put your dick in the chocolate fountain, EVER! This goes for any party.
Someday robots will drive us around so that we can do more important stuff like email or work or jack off while searching midget mermaids on Google. 50 Cent doesn’t want you to masturbate, because the bible said so. But I go to the Church of Hayden and according to Father Tully the 11th commandment says “Thou shalt jack thy dick like thee owes thy money.” Slash wants Jason to go to some show that he is doing because he “adores” Jason. How cute, bromeos. Dude is it gay? FUCK NO, its Slash, you’d jack his dick just out of respect let alone go to a show by request. A bunch of people said that the show went off air and those people were probably really stoked about that because right after they started New Music Tuesday, on Thursday. To my surprise it was mostly good. Rawdiggity played the new A7X, Black Label Society, Dokken, and his pick of the week, some shit by Dead Mouse. Fuck you I know that’s not how its supposed to be spelled but the dude makes the same music I did when I was 6 on my toy keytar, so fuck you. And in case you missed it because you couldn’t listen to the entire show, the new Death!Death!Die! song, Big Fucking Mega Boat, was debut today. Thanks again to Cobra Tits for having a clip of that for us to hear.
The phones started working again just in time for Final Calls, and right at the beginning Jason’s old Australian buddy, Greg, gave us a bit of radio gold with a Gregtallica voice mail. A dude called in seeking advise because his marraige is shitty and his “crazy ass” wife wants to start going to church (I’m not touching that), Burbank Dave called in again with a solution to the phone problems (Maybe he could just let them use his phone), and a dude called in about some liquor that should sponsor DDD, he got through 5 times and each time he picked up where he last left off (my hats off to you sir). Don’t forget that tonight is Donald Schults and Allison Eastwood’s premiere of their new show where they help animals or something. Speaking of helping animals did you know that yer mum used to volunteer down at your local animal shelter? No, that’s probably because she got caught in the middle of a canine orgy, dog food and hair flying everywhere, and that was just from her cunt, OH!