Tag Archives: Jason Ellis

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 5/15/2012

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Sounds like Jillian Reynolds’ (formerly Barberie) boss is now upset with Ellis because he was on KTLA and not their show, which is funny because Ellis has asked to be on Jillian’s show like 10 times and was turned down each time. Dumb Hollywood politics is apparently at play here. Fuck ’em. Ellis wants to create his own collection line of shirts, patches, blankets, bed sheets, etc. Someone called up Andrea to brag that she was going to beat up Katie, and then people had to do their homework for school the next day. Whose some hot old chicks was a topic, Janice Dickinson and Martha Stewart were mentioned among others. Ellis admitted he would not be into dating an average looking person, only hot chicks – and he knows that will eventually lead to a lonely life. But, hey, I guess that’s why they sell ferns.

Not only has Obama come out in support of gay marriage, but so has Jay-Z, so go ahead and change the books. Rawdog was excited to bring a new segment to the show today, gadget talk. I like me some new technology, but I just knew Rawdog was going to pick some stupid shit, and sure enough he did – a fucking phone glove for instance. It turns out that Dingo may have little balls, he had to measure, I assume because it was a rather close call. A literal 12 year-old called into the show while eating a hotdog, and it appears he has kind of an a-hole for a mom. Ellis had told the kid that he probably shouldn’t be listening to the show because he’s too young. The kid was eating a hotdog, it wasn’t cold. Then the kid passed the phone to mom, who called the show “pathetic” and claimed she, nor her son listened to the show, and that they were eating hotdogs. She said her husband loves the show, brings home the bacon, and she gets to drive a nice car… and eat hotdogs. At any rate, she was annoying. Also, hotdogs. Today’s new music Tuesday wasn’t all that bad, certainly better than a lot of the previous ones. I missed pretty much the rest of the show, but I don’t think there was anything of major importance. Oh, wait. Hotdogs + you moms pussy = state fair corn dogs. You know, because of all that batter in her deep fryer of a pussy. OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 5/14/2012

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So, sounds like I wasn’t the only one who had bad dreams last night. Ellis dreamed about the shit he did to his ex-wife, but she was doing it to him. And I dreamed about this weird lady that had melted flesh, wore a weird flesh mask, was part alien, peeled off a piece of her flesh mask and it bounced off the wall and floor into my mouth and was choking me to death. Fuckin weird, right? Speaking of fuckin weird, Sam Rubin (@samontv) from KTLA was on the show today. As you may or may not know, Ellis was on the morning KTLA and Reelz Hollywood Uncensored shows several weeks ago, and this time around they talked about Kelly LeBrock – the hot chick from the movie Weird Science. Yes, that one, from the mid 1980’s, and yes, she’s like 52 now. Just sayin’. She actually called into the fucking show while he was on air, so that seems pretty promising, I’d love to hear her interviewed by Ellis. Sam sure had a shitload to say, we’re talking 2 hours worth, he talks quick, had stories about Stern, Mel Gibson, and all kinds of entertainment industry gossip shit that I just couldn’t give two shits about – but if you’re into that stuff, it was probably a really good interview. He seemed like an alright guy and like he really enjoys and knows a lot about what he does.

Dingo was going to be on the show today, but he got some teeth removed at the dentists today so he was sore and didn’t think he’d be any good today – understandable. Some dude almost hit the Church of Haden’s Porsche, and by “hit” it seems it was more like “plow”, which I’m sure freaked Ellis out being that he’s borrowing THC’s ride. Funny enough, THC was listening to the show today and heard all the stories about his car almost getting crushed. He also commented about Sam’s interview and how candid and non-bullshit he is when interviewing actors & actresses for movies that are trash. Rawdog has a learning disability that he’s conveniently forgotten about, a non-verbal learning disorder, like reverse dyslexia. He read off a list of shit that it affects, and pretty much everything he listed applies to him. On a related note, doctors also found a new type of super virus that seems to be quickly spreading and so far there is no cure. It’s known as Y-MIG, or Your Mommy’s Infected Gash, and sure enough – you got it. OH!

Show Re-cap For Friday 5/11/2012

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Holy fuck it Friday, and not just any Friday but Who Gives A Fuck Friday, as if you even gave a fuck about that.  Today is Dan “Hot Balls” O’Donell’s last day.  This would be a sad event if it happened yesterday but it didn’t so I don’t give a fuck. We will miss you Doug and your hot mom.  Katie (Ellis’ girlfriend, in case you’ve been under a rock) was in the studio today.  She wasn’t really on the air but you could her her cute little girlfriend laugh every time Ellis made a joke. It was adorable, but who really gives a fuck anyway.

Alaskans will hunt bears, Australians will piss on you, and women are incredibly fucked in the head.  Especially the 21 year old that called in.  Some suspect that she is really 12, but that is way too creepy so for sake of dignity, she was at least 18. She said that while making sweet sweet love to her man in the cowgirl position he got on his cell phone.  This, under most circumstances is a major no no.  However, after listening to this girl drone on and on and on for about 5 minutes I started to understand his plight, I’m surprised he didn’t try to lodge the phone into his brain.

More news, pity sex sucks, Serena Williams made a shit-tacular rap, Rawdog has never received a blow job to completion (we were all shocked by this news), and some of the funniest news I’ve heard in a long time, a man was held up by another man with a rifle and was forced to do the moon walk.  Oh and Ellis puked, I’m not sure if it was on his dick or just in the trash can. I was too busy watching my wife dry heave as she heard it, good times.

The Lemmy interview was good, Vinnie Paul was great, but today the most epic of all interviews went down.  Ellis got a surprise visit from the man, the myth, the legend, Steven Tyler!  This interview was so epic that I am not going to try to summarize it, I will however encourage you to go our good friend’s site, Cobra Tits, to listen to the Steven Tyler interview first hand.

For the end of the show the guys finally finished Worlds Greatest Worst Male Sex Change. Here’s the top 3:

3. Andre the Giant

2. Lenny from Motorbreath

1. Zakk Wylde

In my opinion all three of these guys are incredible ugly for guys let alone guys with cookies.  The only thing worse than having to stuff the sausage into any of them would having to ram jam yer mums actual swamp box, OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 5/10/2012

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I want to be inside you

Healing news today on the show, driving a Porsche settles upset tummies. Tomorrow will be @DanOD5‘s goodbye show, his internship is over and now he must leave the nest and spread his wings. He’ll fly, fly, fly away, back to Chicago and his hot mom. George Clooney probably has some ugly chick in his past that he still longs for, even though he bangs super hot bitches. Maybe. Or maybe not. Maybe it’s Brad Pitt he longs for, I don’t know. Whichever the choice is, I accept your decision George. Some chick needed to expel breast milk and for whatever reason, it wasn’t coming out so the husband sucked it out for her. NOPE! Keep pushing me, keep pushing me, you just keep on pushing my love, over the borderline – borderline! You just sang that little ditty in Madonna’s voice – and now that song is also stuck in your head, you’re welcome.

Oh Asians, you so cray

Josh Barnett was supposed to be on the show today, but after being already 45 minutes late, Shiney Shins Pendarvis got a phone call saying he would be late. No shit Sherlock. So he got rescheduled in favor of having Twitch (@twitchthis) on at his scheduled time. Apparently the Japanese have done it again, they’ve created an ice bra to help keep the sweater puppies cool during those warm summer days – way to stay cutting edge Japan! Ellis and Twitch played a little trivia game to see who’s smarter than a… a, uh… I don’t know, you can think of something. Anyway, Ellis lost and got to have his nuts tugged on by an R/C car while Twitch gently kissed his neck. Okay, that last part was an outright lie, but the truth is that both of them are going to Twitch’s party tonight, so technically it could still happen.

Is it final calls time?

And then we had final calls… final calls. Oh final callers, why are you so fucking stupid? You don’t realize you’re talking to the person you just called, you ask things like “what are you doin?”, and your reception usually seems as if you’re on the dark side of the moon. I’m really glad you don’t call throughout the show and wait until the end, I wouldn’t be able to handle that. But I also want you to choke on your Speghetti O’s, I know you can do it if you just apply yourself. And now, I have a question for you! Why did your mom cross the road? Because I told that stupid whore to get the fuck off my lawn and go graze in the pastures with the rest of the cows. OH!