Rumor has it there will soon be a 2nd Annual Reverse Awards. Let’s listen back to the first Reverse Awards. (The audio quality isn’t the best because SXM was upgrading their online player at the time.)
Nominations – 8/2/11
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The 1st Annual Reverse Awards – 8/26/11
Download (link to MP3)
It’s Friday and I’m shooting rainbow loads.
It’s Friday, and while nobody is supposed to be giving a fuck, Ellis gave a little bit of a fuck for a very short time because he said these little wedges that you put in women’s shoes is one of the greatest inventions. He’s thinking about making secret ones for men so they can secretly be tall. Rawdog admitted that when he was younger, he saw them in catalog once and wanted those things so he could be taller. Ellis bought Katie a new pair of kicks and posted the picture, which of course rallied up some people who thought the shoes were gay. Tully thought maybe Ellis should kick Will (Jizz Cult) in the shins, but it was settled that Ellis would kick him in the calf – and he did. There was some talk about Russia and iPhone 5’s, but I ain’t talking about no fucking iPhone anything, so fuck that shit right in the shit chute. Apparently Steve Harvey is blowing up right now, I don’t know how, or why, and I really don’t care about him or his big teeth.
Let’s see Skrillex take on this dynamic duo!
George St. Pierre was on Criss Angel’s Mindfreak show, warning: by watching this video of two douches, you may cause a rip in the space time continuum. Linsanity is in the 90th percentile for the size of his head, which makes him an ideal candidate for headbutt champion of California. Eva Longoria is opening “SHe”, a steakhouse geared towards women, complete with small plates, a catwalk, and I assume bowls full of tampons instead of after dinner mints. And that has to be the dumbest sentence I’ve ever typed. Male genitalia is smaller than it was 50 years ago, they say stress, smoking, alcohol intake, and fat-assery are to blame – but I blame Detroit. Where have the muscle cars of old gone? Everyone’s driving a fucking minivan, and as well all know, it makes your dick shrink to drive a minivan. LMFAO is breaking up, does that make you want to SHIT or what? Okay, yea, I’m pretty much or what too. But I do feel bad for my daughter and Rawdog, what are they going to party rock to now? Kato Kaelin now says he thinks OJ was guilty, though he has no proof, I’m guessing OJ must have kicked his ass to the curb or something for him to come and say reveal this shocking opinion.
There was a game today where the intern (“Lightening Train”) showed pictures of Will, Rawdog, Tully, and Ellis to some people and they had to try and guess what crime they might commit. It was actually kinda funny, so if you missed it, I feel bad for you son – I got 99 problems but a radio bit ain’t 1. Wow. I’m a total cracker. Hey, you wanna see a pair of boxers that some freak jizzed in for 7 years? I don’t know why, I don’t know how, all I know is that’s one hell of an accomplishment and dedication to the cum storage game. Cum storage – every time I say it, it makes me think of the last time I saw your mother. I went to my local bar and sat down for a drink. “Hey, bitPimps, haven’t seen you in a while. How have you been?” asked the bartender. “Not bad, today has been fantastic. I was walking down by the railroad tracks and there was this naked woman tied to the tracks. I untied her took her back to my place and had incredible sex for hours. It was amazing.” I said. “Good for you, man, was she pretty?” asked the bartender. “I don’t know, I never found her head.” OH!
Your mom always knew how to twerk it on the hood of a hunk of shit.
Holy fuckin hell it’s been a long time since I talked to you beautiful people. Where has the 
time gone, it’s like the sequel to your favorite movie. I don’t know where I’m going with this and to be honest, I’m a bit buzzed. Ahh, ‘ol times. Does your lady shit? If she does then she might also stand to pee. According to Ellis anyhow. We started off with proper poop etiquette and the survey says, courtesy flush. Basic rules for pooping are act like your not pooping, unless your doing an upper decker, then let the sweet smell of freedom ring. Some dude from TMZ recognized Ellis, check that off the bucket list. Who is a sore loser? Gabe is a sore loser, clap clap clapclapclap. He posted on his blog, http://www.gabegodzilla.com, that the fight was fucked up or something and that he didn’t get a fair chance and that there was sand in his vagina and his panties were in a bunch. I saw the fight just like many of you and this dude got knocked out like a sorority girl at a frat party, and then humped just the same. On the funnier side, Uncle Mayhem is trying his hand at stand up comedy. This shall be fun. Go to something something dot com to find out more info.
In Olympic News, DICK PUNCH!!! That is all. The guys came up with an idea for designer condoms and the ideas were flowing. I think the unanimous winner was the guy who suggested a condom that looked like a knife so you can bang your chick on her rag and it would look way less disgusting. Shout out to you, you Red Wing earning mother fucker! RawDog thinks he can shave his own beard and the only thing that i could think of is that this needs to be recorded to show the world that Josh really knows how to do something. 
I am done laughing now so lets continue. In some places you cannot get a DUI while being on horseback, but here in Arizona, you can. Trust me. Super Jews made beer goggles to wear, however I still prefer the old fashioned method of just getting sloppy piss drunk. Rob Coddry was in The Swinghouse and talked about childrens, hospitals, coke, Jason Ellis’s third acting debut, speed dating, and the teradactle (however the fuck you spell it). Ellis will be on Childerens Hospital tomorrow night at midnight. Not tonight, tomorrow, before the day after, but before the other day on Cartoon Network or Adult Swim, or both. Are we clear? Good.
In Wicked Awesome Naked Celebrity News, Randy Travis was kickin ass and raisin hell in Texas. Who says that country music is all sad and shit. That sounds like a great fuckin time! Its just too bad we don’t have a pic of his sweet ride. I bet it’s a T-Top so that mullet can flow in the wind. Some dude made ultimate arm wrestling and it sounds like a pile of ultimate shit. Finals calls were not one to disappoint, and by that I mean they were window licking, diaper wearing, short bus riding “special” folk. The last thing I recall was a dude wants to jack Jason off for some roids (don’t do drugs kids) and Chris Angel has mind lube. I heard yer mum tried steroids, she got so big that a team of mules had to tie her down, just before she let them have their way with her, OH!
Hello and welcome my friends to another wonderfully insightful edition of The Jason Ellis Show Re-Cap. Today started out with the boys going a bit Eco friendly. Grass topped bars, grass carpets, and log cars. These seem like interesting ideas until you start thinking, who’s gonna mow the bar? And if you throw up will there be a dead spot. Would dogs be allowed in, and who’s cleaning up that 
mess? Probably best to just leave things the way they are. Well punch me in the cock, Rawdog had a rather successful date. At least as successful as one would expect from Rumble McTumble Bum. This mystery internet woman seems very impressed with Josh and even said he looks better in person than on his profile pic. Fist Bump. I believe it is safe to say this girl will be swallowing some Tussin in the near future if you know what I’m saying. Yeah, you know what I’m saying. Today is also Rude Juduesday and Jude ruffled some feathers when he came in wearing a Vick jersey and totally defended dog fighting. Said dogs aren’t humans & he don’t give a fuck about a dog. This struck a nerve with many as expected but a mans opinion is his own.
Teens are fucktarded, as we all know. But they have brought it to a whole new level, they are drinking hand sanitizer to get drunk. What ever happened to the good ol grab and dash? That was a highly effective way of getting booze. Kids these days. We also heard some fucking awesome mash ups and parody songs, so shout out to Cruiser Boy and Mike Higgins, great job dudes. Jason’s book is now on the New York Times Best Seller list at number 23. That’s a huge fucking accomplishment from a dude who “can’t read or write.”
A guy named Gordy called the VIP line. This lucky 19 year old bastard got the number from his copy of I’m Awesome but not the circle jerk names. Hope is still out there, don’t give up. Other news, Octomom is a hoe bag and Chis Angel is a douche, as if we didn’t already know.
A bit of serious information, between May 8th and May 22nd download the song “Long Time” by Everlast. Precedes will help to find a better treatment for Cystic Fibrosis.
And I know that you are reading this Mr. McConaughey so will you please get your shirtless ass into the show, and Matthew, we can do this the easy way or the, aww fuck it, I can’t remember the quote. Much like I can’t ever remember what your mum says because it just sounds like shes gargling cum. And she is, OH!
Today was a great show! It’s Rawdog’s (@RadioTFB) birthday today, he turned 26 – 13 in the pants. It’s also Rude Judesday, so he stopped by and got introduced to the Eskibro (What is the Eskibro?), via Rawdog. His maid also accidentally threw away some of his ketamine. Rude Jude’s (@rude_jude) female persona, Stephanie, loves sucking cocks after listening to Dave Mathews. She also has 3 different babies with 4 different men. So she fits right in with Rachel and Sarah. Sarah doesn’t have any babies, she has an open tab at the abortion clinic, which is totally fucking gangster.
There’s a new phone number to the show: 855-ELLIS-41 (855-355-4741)
Jude noticed Ellis was more stabbed up than usual, and Ellis apparently went to town last night. He says he was listening to Danzig and cutting himself up. Ellis also says his 10-some dream is back alive now. Jude and Ellis both think Minnie Driver is hot, however, she fucked Criss Angel – plus she’s English – so by law, she has a big head and annoying accent.
Rawdog got some awesome birthday presents: (I think this is the complete list?)
I have a feeling Rawdog might be getting laid tonight, possibly even anal since they did some good old fashion missionary last time. Sparky certainly talked a lot about anal while she was on the show today, as well as about double penetration, milk enemas, etc.
Nick Swardson (@NickSwardson) also stopped by! He did some chocolate cake bumps with Sparky. Everlast (@OGEverlast) called in and said he was on the way with a bottle of whiskey and a Doobie Brothers album for Rawdog (listen to Rawdog and Everlast doing Long Train Running), but he had to take his mom’s dog to the hospital. At any rate, he called in to wish Rawdog a happy birthday and he might take him for a ride in his whip sometime.
There was talk about the recent Christina Aguilera photos where it looks like she might have menstrual blood coming down her leg. Google it if you want, I’m not linking to that damnation. This brought out a bunch of bleeder chicks talking about their periods. It would seem some of these girls bleed profusely at times – think like a Quentin Tarantino film. Anyways, that’s enough about bloody axe gashes.
And I leave you with that, just like I left your mom, with spunk in her hair and begging for more. OH!