Has Ellis ever fought with a guest? – 11/30/12 (History)

‘Darrell’ defends LL Cool J – 11/30/12

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If you haven’t heard the infamous LL Cool J interview live or on a ‘Best of’ replay you can find it on Youtube, but the caller did trigger an interesting question, ‘Has Jason ever fought with a guest?’.

The Iliza Shlesinger interview was mentioned. I’m not sure that it fully counts, it was more of a protest.

The one that stands out to me (and shoutout to @Ericmoore2 for the reminder!) is the Jose Mangin appearance after Riki Rachtman lost to Benji Madden at EM5. Hold on to your hats!

Ellis-and-Jose-Mangin

Jose Mangin in studio – 4/7/2010

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Show Re-cap For Friday 10/12/2012

Its Friday, the last show before for a week of vacation, so who really does give a fuck?  Sarah certainly doesn’t.  The dirty little whore was begging for anyone to ask her how to suck a cock.  Turns out Tully and Rawdog both have been struggling to slob the knob lately and obliged.  Seems the key is to get a lot of gagging going on, past the point of vomiting, and swallow it up with a finger in the ass.  Spit the load into a tube and shove it up your twat.  Out comes a baby and Bobs your uncle!  Seems Josh n Mike were missing the whole revenge angle.  Next time your in Cali, make sure to pop into ‘Aussie Town’ aka Little Melbourne.  Ellis, Rawdog and Tully riffed up this marvelous town of boobs, boos n buds.  Think of it like Mic Dundee meets Crue Town.  Ellis is king and the strip clubs are plentiful, if ya know what I mean mates!  Ellis was also reminiscing, back in real Australia when he was a teen, about some crazy Asian gang of kids that wanted to meat cleave and machete him n his boys.  Some little Linsanity kid got beat up the day before, and rounded up half of Japan to come whoop anyone with a skateboard.  Obviously Ellis got away, but thats some crazy shit that he said seemed to happen a lot back there.  Tully knew some dude that got beaten here in America by a group of 10year old kids pretty bad too, but nothing about machetes n asians.  I knew some group of kids named #ellisfam that fucked your mom.  Shoutout to those crazy fuckers!

Good friend of the show Thomas Haden Church called in to wish Ellis a Happy Moon Birthday.  It turns out THC has an angelic voice that harmonizes with peace.  He sung Ellis a Happy Birthday that is worthy of any ‘Best Of’ next week.  Its not surprising since he was the lead singer of a band back in the day named “Wall of Dogs”.  Probably would have been the next Molly Hatchet if the guitarist didnt up n go OD on heroin.  Maybe Death! Death! Die! can get him on a track in the future.  The Future’s birthday was yesterday……and last night too!  Seems Ellis Mate and a group of friends including Donald SchultzBenji Madden and many more, went out to the strip club.  The same strip club Josh’s sister works at, just leave it at that!  Sounded like fun, boobies, boobies, party, boobies, Katie, boobies, Malice, boobies, your moms boobies.  All in all a good birthday night.  Seems Rawdog and Tullys nights weren’t as sweet as the Wing.  Trust Fund Boy was awoken to his roommate and two chicks coming home from the Madonna concert.  They were reliving the night on one of their cellphones while poor ol Josh was trying to get his sleep to battle the Aids he recently aquired.  Thats bad, but this is worse.  With Superdad in charge, little Linsanity snuck away and found a sticker on the floor, and babies will be babies ya know.  So Tully hears him coughing and runs in to see the little dude full on vomiting from this piece of paper.  The sticker happend to be like 80 years old, but it sounds like everything came back up and little Oxford should be just fine.  Im not so sure about Will’s kid though.  Tullys story reminded Jizz Cult when he shoved a fork up his sons ass to help relieve the constipation he was suffering.  Fucking Jizzcult is a sick dude man.  He did however make up for it by offering to get Ellis tickets to Voodoo Fest in New Orleans later this month, so I guess he’s not that bad.  Plus his shins are fucking sweet too!

Lindsay Lohan’s back at it again, The Chateau Marmont that is.  Seems she is no longer banned from their establishment for her $46,000 bill, how nice.  Shes also being nice to her mom again, saying the bitch wasn’t on coke like she previously said.  Lindsay also said shes done with her father for good, and wants Ellis to suck a dead horses dick by voting for Mitt Romney.  Shes really turning a new leaf towards being a real American hero.  Hulk Hogans video was on topic again, focusing on the video being Black and White.  Tully and Ellis figured it to be the security cameras from maybe Bubba’s house, since he was allegedly a paranoid dude.  They also conspired the video was maybe leaked by an old show member, since the video could easily be saved if sent via email to one another.  DId you know the swinghouse has surveillance cameras….which means absolutely dick since Will doesn’t ever catch anyone doing shit.  Speaking of catching shit, remember the dude from Florida who refilled Enemas with the liquid, after he had ran it through his body one time for good luck, and then returned about a dozen to the store to be resold to innocent people.  Yeah well that sick fucker is facing 10 years or $250K bail for his escapades.  Thats good to know, and so is the news that Katie has Butt Chugged before.  Even though she had never heard the term, and didn’t use beer, she did admit to ‘Wine Chugging’ one time in her life.  #RedDragons

A new segment was introduced today, “Men, Am I Right?”.  We heard such hilariousisms as the man in London who used his microwave to dry his socks and underwear, and burnt his house down.  Or what about the guy in Michigan who threatened to burn his apartment complex down, while cooking squirrel with a propane blow torch.  And don’t forget the Wisconsin guy who was last seen fucking a yellow couch on the side of the road.  He was identified when he ran from the cops…..into the front door of his house.  Being a man, all I got from this segment really was you must both cook your squirrel very well done to kill all the rabies and nah mate, you are!  Bestie McBestington stopped by the studio before checking out his Baltimore Oreo’s in playoff action tonight, and to pick up his credit card he forgot at the strip club last evening.  Tully and Benji tried to jinx each other since Tully routes for the opposing New York Yankees.  Jason and Rawdog both learned that their really the Baltimore Orioles, but what the fuck ever dude its baseball.  Benji Madden learned who Thomas Haden Church is, and asked to be hooked up for a play date with him and Ellis.  They even practiced what each other would say.  It got really gay for a while at this point.  Luckily five guys showed up and everything was better…..that place has the best burgers I swear!  Bestie talked about wanting to buy a place back in Maryland, gave everyone a shoutout, and went off to be awesome.

 

Remember that binder of old show clips Tully found the other day.  Jackpot!  They broke out one of the clips today for us to preview, and mentioned possibly using more for some of the ‘Best Of’ shows next week.  Todays clip was a 10 minute segment they did with Ryo Chonan, the only man to ever submit Anderson Silva!  I’d love to tell you what this skit was about, but much like Big Fucking Mega Boat, I haven’t the fucking slightest.  It was from about 4 or 5 years ago, Ellis was the narrator, and Ryo drops his lines in and out of some old 36 Chambers of Death background.  Oh, he did kill some bitch by cuming on her, that I did catch.  All in all it was pretty funny, and they replayed the skit in its entirety at the very end of the show if your interested.  What your not intersted in was Rawdogs new segment, New Movie Friday.  The only thing worth while here was the intro that had to be sung by Will Pendarvis, the human button bar.  After that, well how do you expect a visual aided skit to properly work on a radio show?  They did preview a few movies of note, such as Here Comes the Boom featuring Kevin James and Jason “Mayhem” Miller, ArgoCloud Atlas, The Hobbit and maybe the most promising of all Bigfoot: The Lost Coast Tapes.  This Bigfoot movie appeared to have a nice Blair Witch allure to it.  Oh, they also talked a little about the new James Bond movie SkyFall, but the whole New Movie Friday thing had killed the show so who gives a fuck!  The rest of Final Calls was about how Sylvester Stallone has some hidden beef with Carl Weathers since hes not in either of the Expendable movies, and what’s the best horror movie of all time? The Woodsman and Creepshow 2 were two of mine and their favorites that were mentioned.  I love that line from Creepshow 2, “Thanks for the ride Lady!” – I use it every time Im done fucking your mom, Oh!

The Big Fucking History of “Big Fucking Mega Boat” – Part 1 (History)

For a movie that is only a reported 22min long and has been billed by J.Ellis as one of the worst things he’s ever seen, it has taken a long, long road to being made. Part 1 of the History of BFMB starts at the initial idea, the plans with Donald Schultz, developing the script , all the way up to just before they started filming.

He-man leads to 80’s toys, leads to the “Battleship” movie,  and then the 1st spark of “BFMB” – 2/1/12 – 8min

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Allison Eastwood will be the director for BFMB? – 2/3/12 – 2min

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Malin Akerman in studio and Grant’s “Kawaski” tattoo leads to the mention of Sgt. Kawaski and BFMB – 2/9/12 – 4min

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David Faustino gets pitched BFMB – 2/14/12 – 1min

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Shoebox gets pitched BFMB – 2/15/12 – 2min

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Donald Schultz in studio to discuss sets and script ideas for BFMB – 2/21/12 – 50min

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Donald Schultz returns, claims he has a submarine for the movie? Lots more movie ideas- 3/8/12 – 43min

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Rawdog will be the MGM Lion – 3/14/12 – 3min

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The idea of go karts at K1 Speed is announced and the characters/actors are set – 4/4/12 – 72min

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Show Re-cap For Thursday 6/7/2012

Wolf Knives Album Cover

Hai you guise! OMG I’ve missed you all soooooo much! It’s so good to see you! Mwah, big kisses and fanny pats. It’s Thursday you fuckin’ ball gagging, piss drinking, cum eating, shit diddling, friends of mine! Don’t take it the wrong way, I mean that shit with the utmost respect. Wolf Knives are a real gang now, with a real website, and if you’re cool, you too can be a part of the Wolf Knives gang that comes complete with a patch and errything, you can check that shit out at thewolfknives.com for all your Wolf Knives gang related inquiries. No word on if you have to be jumped in or if you just gotta fork over the scrilla. Dr. Crystal Methamphetamines was the first outsider to be inducted into the gang, along side @Dutch_RDS, and of course @benjaminmadden and a few other stone cold gassers.

No jokes with this bumper sticker

Josh has finally come out of the closet and admitted he is gay, well at least 5 to 10 percent out of the closet. Ellis is putting up a profile on Cougar Life, looking to get his dick wet from a disease free fountain of cougars. If Mitt Romney becomes President, Ellis will suck a dead horse’s dick, and if not, Rawdog will be sucking a dead horse’s dick. Depending on how you look at it, it could be surprising or not so surprising, but a caller chimed in with access to a dead mule’s dick. This fucking guy is like the Swiss army knife of dead animal dicks, it’s really quite amazing actually. Sounds like the A6K is a bigger piece of shit than Rawdog’s car, West Coast Customs contacted Ellis to tell him the electrical wiring and dash was just too fucked up to do anything with so they’ll have to get him all new shit. I don’t know who worked on the A6K before (likely Audiobahn), but apparently they MacGruber’ed the shit out of it to the point that it is unsafe to even be driving.

Wat? This isn’t normal?

Ellis went out on a friendly date last night with that Michelle “Bombshell” McGee chick, he said she was really funny and cool and not at all like the gossip that seems to follow her around. Am I the only one that thinks she’s not good looking in the slightest? The band Nickleback is shit, we all know it, we’ve all known it for a long time now, and yes Chad Kroeger has ramen noodle hair, so let’s just move along to something more interesting. The guys played some Ellis Jeopardy today, each battling for their own personalized prize should they be the winner. The new intern, Bitch Taco, wants to change his nickname to something a little more respectable, Rawdog is playing for a chance to punch Tully in the dick, and Tully is playing for a chance to upgrade his unused “skip the show for 15 minutes” card, to 30 minutes. And the final winner ended up being the intern formerly known as “Bitch Taco”, who is now known as “Cock Nacho”, so congratulations to you, sir.

Just going out with the girls, honey!

A few of the final calls were kind of interesting, some dude’s wife got mad at him for chewing tobacco, so the logical thing to do was to be all shady, lie to her husband, go have 9 glasses of wine and a burger with some fucking dude. Then she felt bad for being a whore and was all lovey dovey to her husband and then when he reciprocated, she called him clingy. A couple of small (as in little people) calls as well, one midget cock blocked a normal sized dude by telling some chick that he had drank a lot that night. Little people, they’re evil just like gingers, but at least they have tiny souls whereas gingers do not. The other little person caller was saying that the word “midget” is offensive, people are far too sensitive these days, it’s not like people are calling you short stack or lil’ turtle. And finally, I have a prediction and a nice comparison to make about your mother, and being that she’s a street worker (read prostitute), there’s a good chance this could be prophetic. How are cell phone signals, your mom, and Princess Diana alike? They all die in tunnels. OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 1/23/2012

Dingo came in tired as shit after not sleeping for 3 days and you could tell he wasn’t his normal self. He sounded tired and lethargic, as you might expect after not sleeping for 3 days.

Apparently @possiblytully (maybe others) made a handful of cue cards for @TheDingoInSnow to use as responses to questions. He just sounded tired, uninterested, and even a bit sad the entire time. Hard to be up and at ’em when you haven’t slept and are probably past your 5th or 6th wind.

At any rate, I tried to help out Dingo by submitting #CueCardsForDingo and it slightly took off. Some were funnier than others. Dingo ended up falling asleep and Benji Madden (@benjaminmadden) came in as relief. It has been quite awhile since he was on the show, so it was refreshing and he actually participated with his own brand of humor that was pretty good. He teased Rawdog and gave him a bit of a hard time about past comments. He participated in “Tennis / Pump Grunts” – giving Rawdog cues on when and how much he should grunt if he were to have sex with a female tennis star – as if she were grunting like they do during a match.

An apparent old “fling” of Cumfat’s came on the show. She sang part of a tribute song to Chad Reed after he was named “fastest dude in moto” or something like that. She got grilled a bit. We found out some interesting details pertaining to her and Cumtard, as well as their previous and post relationships. It basically ended with them agreeing to go out (note: she never really said date, but everyone else did) and we’re left to see what happens.

That’s the gist of it. Well, that and your mom blew Wesley Snipes once.