Show Re-cap for Friday 6/7/2013

It’s Friday and the government can fuck right off because its time for the people to consume, mainly alcohol and other recreational items. Ellis’s head tattoo is controversial among the stuck up and those not used to people with head tattoos, go figure. Jason has his own parking spot at Swinghouse and intern Team Jetta was making sure that nobody stole that spot, he even moved the sign for big daddy Jace cakes. This got the guys toying with the idea of hiring a butler, but it would be a Mexican butler because they’re cheap and could probably make some killer tacos. McDonald’s doesn’t sell many salads, in fact salads only make up two to three percent of their sales, but you can probably pay a cashier to blow you for cash. It’s on the secret menu so you have to ask. Ellis is going to Grandad Shun Di--article_imageVegas with his chick to hang with Mike Jasper. Ellis is also invited to Mike’s buddies bachelor party, I don’t know if he is gonna bring the girl or if he will even go but if you are in Vegas and see the impostor Ellis it’s probably the real Ellis so say whats, up get a picture, and compliment his penis. As Tully gets older he feels that 40 is the new 30 like everybody has been saying, but at 50 you better have your shit together and not party so hard. It’s still okay to get shit faced once and a while at 40, but he thinks it’s kind of lame by the time your fifty. Not everybody agrees with this but one thing is certain, if you don’t have shit together in your life by the time your 50 then your fucked.

Welcome back to the Playgirl Radio recap! There are three rock hard sweaty man boners wet and dripping with precum in studio just waiting for your erotic encounters with yogurt slinging man meat. Want to know something that will get your dude boner rock hard? Keithtumblr_llatanJkKU1qbnthu Urban did a layout for Playgirl magazine and according to Rawdog, “my butthole is quivering with anticipation!” Playgirl Radio is defiantly the hottest wads on radio, in fact according to Tully, “I can go a little lesbian for guys” and “Punch me in the fart locker!” Speaking of massive huge dick boners, a Miller Duck has a dick as long as itself, so hot! According to the kids, butt chugging is out and vaporizing is in! RatScabies graced us with a phone call saying how he was at a strip club and one of the girls shit herself on stage. This is by far the pinnacle of strip club mishaps, it tops the stripper falling off the pole by ten fold! But the real question is, of you saw a stripper shit herself, would you leave or stay?

photo (3)Now back to out regularly scheduled recap, Jesus was found in Queensland, actually it is just a dude named Alan John Miller who is married to a chick and claims to be Jesus reincarnated and that his wife is the reincarnated Mary Magdalene. Hazel Jones, an English woman with two vaginas was offered a career in porn by Steven Hirsch of Vivid Entertainment. Its time for everybody’s favorite game,To Pet A Predator starring Josh Richmond! And today the snake whisperer got away with not being bit by not only one, but two snakes in the box! But in good sport he got bit on the ear lobe by a gecko with a little man complex. Then bringing the show to gold star standard, Dom The Weak freaked out over a little lizard biting his nip nip. He also pet the snake but didn’t get bit either, I think reptile outpost brought in broken snakes. Team Jetta and Team Punishment played What’s In My Mouth. The items were mayonnaise, oysters, pigs feet, dehydrated shrimp, kimchee, a used band aide, hot sauce, sardines, tobacco, and everything mixed together. Team punishment lost 0-2 and now has to put roaches and a scorpion on his face. He cried like a little bitch as an intern should but unexpectedly Dom stepped up earning his man card back by volunteering to have the scorpion of death put onto his head just like Jason did, like a man!photo (2)

Now on to, Men, Am I Right? A man in Kentucky got locked in a store overnight and did 57 whip it’s among consuming many other goods. A man in Georgia got into a fight with his neighbor over his unkempt lawn and the man with the nice lawn set fire to the neighbor with the shitty lawn’s house. Man in Florida shot himself in the leg while bowling, hahahahahahahaha. Dude in Sydney threatened a mechanic with a large black dildo after the mechanic released the car to the repo company. Man in china smashed a Maserati after he claims his wasn’t fixed properly. San bernidino man got rear ended by a motorcyclist and the dude got flipped into the bed. Man in Yellowknife had an itchy back for three years, turns out he had a 2.7 inch piece of knife still in him from a knife fight three years ago. Hungarian man sliced off his arm with a piece of construction equipment and drove himself ten miles to the hospital. English bloke got busted taking up skirt shots at a bar with his phone but uses the old, “I might be trying to light farts on fire” defense. Man on his honeymoon in Florida got arrested for soliciting a prostitute. And finally, a priest was assaulted but claims to remember nothing or how the beer, condoms, or lube got into his room only a half hour after he checked in. What would you do if you suddenly had wings? Rawdog would certainly die and Jason would become an ill conceived super villain. Speaking of wings, that reminds me, ask yer mum which maxi pads she needs me to puck up, the “heavy flow” pads or the “More blood than a chum bucket on a shark boat” pads, OH!

Show Re-cap For Friday 10/12/2012

Its Friday, the last show before for a week of vacation, so who really does give a fuck?  Sarah certainly doesn’t.  The dirty little whore was begging for anyone to ask her how to suck a cock.  Turns out Tully and Rawdog both have been struggling to slob the knob lately and obliged.  Seems the key is to get a lot of gagging going on, past the point of vomiting, and swallow it up with a finger in the ass.  Spit the load into a tube and shove it up your twat.  Out comes a baby and Bobs your uncle!  Seems Josh n Mike were missing the whole revenge angle.  Next time your in Cali, make sure to pop into ‘Aussie Town’ aka Little Melbourne.  Ellis, Rawdog and Tully riffed up this marvelous town of boobs, boos n buds.  Think of it like Mic Dundee meets Crue Town.  Ellis is king and the strip clubs are plentiful, if ya know what I mean mates!  Ellis was also reminiscing, back in real Australia when he was a teen, about some crazy Asian gang of kids that wanted to meat cleave and machete him n his boys.  Some little Linsanity kid got beat up the day before, and rounded up half of Japan to come whoop anyone with a skateboard.  Obviously Ellis got away, but thats some crazy shit that he said seemed to happen a lot back there.  Tully knew some dude that got beaten here in America by a group of 10year old kids pretty bad too, but nothing about machetes n asians.  I knew some group of kids named #ellisfam that fucked your mom.  Shoutout to those crazy fuckers!

Good friend of the show Thomas Haden Church called in to wish Ellis a Happy Moon Birthday.  It turns out THC has an angelic voice that harmonizes with peace.  He sung Ellis a Happy Birthday that is worthy of any ‘Best Of’ next week.  Its not surprising since he was the lead singer of a band back in the day named “Wall of Dogs”.  Probably would have been the next Molly Hatchet if the guitarist didnt up n go OD on heroin.  Maybe Death! Death! Die! can get him on a track in the future.  The Future’s birthday was yesterday……and last night too!  Seems Ellis Mate and a group of friends including Donald SchultzBenji Madden and many more, went out to the strip club.  The same strip club Josh’s sister works at, just leave it at that!  Sounded like fun, boobies, boobies, party, boobies, Katie, boobies, Malice, boobies, your moms boobies.  All in all a good birthday night.  Seems Rawdog and Tullys nights weren’t as sweet as the Wing.  Trust Fund Boy was awoken to his roommate and two chicks coming home from the Madonna concert.  They were reliving the night on one of their cellphones while poor ol Josh was trying to get his sleep to battle the Aids he recently aquired.  Thats bad, but this is worse.  With Superdad in charge, little Linsanity snuck away and found a sticker on the floor, and babies will be babies ya know.  So Tully hears him coughing and runs in to see the little dude full on vomiting from this piece of paper.  The sticker happend to be like 80 years old, but it sounds like everything came back up and little Oxford should be just fine.  Im not so sure about Will’s kid though.  Tullys story reminded Jizz Cult when he shoved a fork up his sons ass to help relieve the constipation he was suffering.  Fucking Jizzcult is a sick dude man.  He did however make up for it by offering to get Ellis tickets to Voodoo Fest in New Orleans later this month, so I guess he’s not that bad.  Plus his shins are fucking sweet too!

Lindsay Lohan’s back at it again, The Chateau Marmont that is.  Seems she is no longer banned from their establishment for her $46,000 bill, how nice.  Shes also being nice to her mom again, saying the bitch wasn’t on coke like she previously said.  Lindsay also said shes done with her father for good, and wants Ellis to suck a dead horses dick by voting for Mitt Romney.  Shes really turning a new leaf towards being a real American hero.  Hulk Hogans video was on topic again, focusing on the video being Black and White.  Tully and Ellis figured it to be the security cameras from maybe Bubba’s house, since he was allegedly a paranoid dude.  They also conspired the video was maybe leaked by an old show member, since the video could easily be saved if sent via email to one another.  DId you know the swinghouse has surveillance cameras….which means absolutely dick since Will doesn’t ever catch anyone doing shit.  Speaking of catching shit, remember the dude from Florida who refilled Enemas with the liquid, after he had ran it through his body one time for good luck, and then returned about a dozen to the store to be resold to innocent people.  Yeah well that sick fucker is facing 10 years or $250K bail for his escapades.  Thats good to know, and so is the news that Katie has Butt Chugged before.  Even though she had never heard the term, and didn’t use beer, she did admit to ‘Wine Chugging’ one time in her life.  #RedDragons

A new segment was introduced today, “Men, Am I Right?”.  We heard such hilariousisms as the man in London who used his microwave to dry his socks and underwear, and burnt his house down.  Or what about the guy in Michigan who threatened to burn his apartment complex down, while cooking squirrel with a propane blow torch.  And don’t forget the Wisconsin guy who was last seen fucking a yellow couch on the side of the road.  He was identified when he ran from the cops…..into the front door of his house.  Being a man, all I got from this segment really was you must both cook your squirrel very well done to kill all the rabies and nah mate, you are!  Bestie McBestington stopped by the studio before checking out his Baltimore Oreo’s in playoff action tonight, and to pick up his credit card he forgot at the strip club last evening.  Tully and Benji tried to jinx each other since Tully routes for the opposing New York Yankees.  Jason and Rawdog both learned that their really the Baltimore Orioles, but what the fuck ever dude its baseball.  Benji Madden learned who Thomas Haden Church is, and asked to be hooked up for a play date with him and Ellis.  They even practiced what each other would say.  It got really gay for a while at this point.  Luckily five guys showed up and everything was better…..that place has the best burgers I swear!  Bestie talked about wanting to buy a place back in Maryland, gave everyone a shoutout, and went off to be awesome.


Remember that binder of old show clips Tully found the other day.  Jackpot!  They broke out one of the clips today for us to preview, and mentioned possibly using more for some of the ‘Best Of’ shows next week.  Todays clip was a 10 minute segment they did with Ryo Chonan, the only man to ever submit Anderson Silva!  I’d love to tell you what this skit was about, but much like Big Fucking Mega Boat, I haven’t the fucking slightest.  It was from about 4 or 5 years ago, Ellis was the narrator, and Ryo drops his lines in and out of some old 36 Chambers of Death background.  Oh, he did kill some bitch by cuming on her, that I did catch.  All in all it was pretty funny, and they replayed the skit in its entirety at the very end of the show if your interested.  What your not intersted in was Rawdogs new segment, New Movie Friday.  The only thing worth while here was the intro that had to be sung by Will Pendarvis, the human button bar.  After that, well how do you expect a visual aided skit to properly work on a radio show?  They did preview a few movies of note, such as Here Comes the Boom featuring Kevin James and Jason “Mayhem” Miller, ArgoCloud Atlas, The Hobbit and maybe the most promising of all Bigfoot: The Lost Coast Tapes.  This Bigfoot movie appeared to have a nice Blair Witch allure to it.  Oh, they also talked a little about the new James Bond movie SkyFall, but the whole New Movie Friday thing had killed the show so who gives a fuck!  The rest of Final Calls was about how Sylvester Stallone has some hidden beef with Carl Weathers since hes not in either of the Expendable movies, and what’s the best horror movie of all time? The Woodsman and Creepshow 2 were two of mine and their favorites that were mentioned.  I love that line from Creepshow 2, “Thanks for the ride Lady!” – I use it every time Im done fucking your mom, Oh!