It’s Friday and the government can fuck right off because its time for the people to consume, mainly alcohol and other recreational items. Ellis’s head tattoo is controversial among the stuck up and those not used to people with head tattoos, go figure. Jason has his own parking spot at Swinghouse and intern Team Jetta was making sure that nobody stole that spot, he even moved the sign for big daddy Jace cakes. This got the guys toying with the idea of hiring a butler, but it would be a Mexican butler because they’re cheap and could probably make some killer tacos. McDonald’s doesn’t sell many salads, in fact salads only make up two to three percent of their sales, but you can probably pay a cashier to blow you for cash. It’s on the secret menu so you have to ask. Ellis is going to Vegas with his chick to hang with Mike Jasper. Ellis is also invited to Mike’s buddies bachelor party, I don’t know if he is gonna bring the girl or if he will even go but if you are in Vegas and see the impostor Ellis it’s probably the real Ellis so say whats, up get a picture, and compliment his penis. As Tully gets older he feels that 40 is the new 30 like everybody has been saying, but at 50 you better have your shit together and not party so hard. It’s still okay to get shit faced once and a while at 40, but he thinks it’s kind of lame by the time your fifty. Not everybody agrees with this but one thing is certain, if you don’t have shit together in your life by the time your 50 then your fucked.
Welcome back to the Playgirl Radio recap! There are three rock hard sweaty man boners wet and dripping with precum in studio just waiting for your erotic encounters with yogurt slinging man meat. Want to know something that will get your dude boner rock hard? Keith Urban did a layout for Playgirl magazine and according to Rawdog, “my butthole is quivering with anticipation!” Playgirl Radio is defiantly the hottest wads on radio, in fact according to Tully, “I can go a little lesbian for guys” and “Punch me in the fart locker!” Speaking of massive huge dick boners, a Miller Duck has a dick as long as itself, so hot! According to the kids, butt chugging is out and vaporizing is in! RatScabies graced us with a phone call saying how he was at a strip club and one of the girls shit herself on stage. This is by far the pinnacle of strip club mishaps, it tops the stripper falling off the pole by ten fold! But the real question is, of you saw a stripper shit herself, would you leave or stay?
Now back to out regularly scheduled recap, Jesus was found in Queensland, actually it is just a dude named Alan John Miller who is married to a chick and claims to be Jesus reincarnated and that his wife is the reincarnated Mary Magdalene. Hazel Jones, an English woman with two vaginas was offered a career in porn by Steven Hirsch of Vivid Entertainment. Its time for everybody’s favorite game,To Pet A Predator starring Josh Richmond! And today the snake whisperer got away with not being bit by not only one, but two snakes in the box! But in good sport he got bit on the ear lobe by a gecko with a little man complex. Then bringing the show to gold star standard, Dom The Weak freaked out over a little lizard biting his nip nip. He also pet the snake but didn’t get bit either, I think reptile outpost brought in broken snakes. Team Jetta and Team Punishment played What’s In My Mouth. The items were mayonnaise, oysters, pigs feet, dehydrated shrimp, kimchee, a used band aide, hot sauce, sardines, tobacco, and everything mixed together. Team punishment lost 0-2 and now has to put roaches and a scorpion on his face. He cried like a little bitch as an intern should but unexpectedly Dom stepped up earning his man card back by volunteering to have the scorpion of death put onto his head just like Jason did, like a man!
Now on to, Men, Am I Right? A man in Kentucky got locked in a store overnight and did 57 whip it’s among consuming many other goods. A man in Georgia got into a fight with his neighbor over his unkempt lawn and the man with the nice lawn set fire to the neighbor with the shitty lawn’s house. Man in Florida shot himself in the leg while bowling, hahahahahahahaha. Dude in Sydney threatened a mechanic with a large black dildo after the mechanic released the car to the repo company. Man in china smashed a Maserati after he claims his wasn’t fixed properly. San bernidino man got rear ended by a motorcyclist and the dude got flipped into the bed. Man in Yellowknife had an itchy back for three years, turns out he had a 2.7 inch piece of knife still in him from a knife fight three years ago. Hungarian man sliced off his arm with a piece of construction equipment and drove himself ten miles to the hospital. English bloke got busted taking up skirt shots at a bar with his phone but uses the old, “I might be trying to light farts on fire” defense. Man on his honeymoon in Florida got arrested for soliciting a prostitute. And finally, a priest was assaulted but claims to remember nothing or how the beer, condoms, or lube got into his room only a half hour after he checked in. What would you do if you suddenly had wings? Rawdog would certainly die and Jason would become an ill conceived super villain. Speaking of wings, that reminds me, ask yer mum which maxi pads she needs me to puck up, the “heavy flow” pads or the “More blood than a chum bucket on a shark boat” pads, OH!