Welcome to Thursday but really this is the beginning of the week because the government says so. Just as long as I get the day after tomorrow off the government can call today what ever the fuck they want. People who wear suits and are driving dirty cars are suspicious. A good suit makes the man and a clean car shows respect. Keep your car clean, don’t be a sloppy fuck leaving shit everywhere and letting it grow into a new species yet to be discovered by science. Speaking of sloppy suspicious people, the French, am I right! They didn’t even invent French Fries and are always rollerblading and being a bunch of pussies and shit. After French bashing the guys tied to think of fun things to do with the interns that won’t cause injury or death because the government says so. The government is always ruining everybody’s good time. Some of the fun ideas were intern piñatas, dodge ball from beefy beefcake Jace, whack a intern mole, the stop hitting yourself game, tug of war with the interns and Ellis’s truck, but instead the interns did a round of mom jokes before the conversation turned to Rawdog and his next pussy repelling choice of car. The Volkswagen, to be more specific, any Volkswagen. But as he’s pretty sure that as he cruses in his Passat he will be getting some crazy hot gymnast pussy, or Sally field, both are possible.
Hollywood News can now be found at TMZ.com, I am still and will continue to protest the frequency of this bit and not include it in my recaps. Back to the real news. A man in Texas
got let off after shooting an escort because she didn’t bob on his knob, a cheerleader pimped out another cheerleader at a school, and Amazon is going to deliver groceries. This brought up the discussion of the rain forest and how its being destroyed for books and shit but don’t worry the forest is fine, the 80’s celebrities all lied to us. Then something about a snake and people and a million dollars which makes everyone anti Semitic.
An ad in Australia has been banned because its too gluteney and border line pornographic and stars Pamela Anderson. Gigantic feral cats are exploding through the Northern Territory and this brought on cat vs croc talk. Science has determined that eating your wad has health benefits. Science is gross, and what is also gross is that Josh is willing to eat his own wad for $1500 bucks! Guess the Dog is craving a bit of snowballin. Turns out that Tully would do it for $1500 each time, in fact he would do it five times a day for five days just as long as it didn’t turn up on www.OneTullyOneCup.au
The super special guests that were supposed to come in, Wu Tang, left because Will dissed them by not accommodating their parking needs for all five cars they were arriving in. Will is such a dick. Baby in china got shit into a sewer on accident and another chick ran a half marathon and then had a baby and she didn’t know she was pregnant. How the
fuck can someone crap out a human from their gash and not fucking know it! I don’t know how to make a good segway from this shit so, moving on. There was an impromptu Intern Pasties Punch Challenge with Team Jetta vs Team Punisher. Team Jetta lost so now Josh will get to pet a predator. Lucky him. Up next was You Sir Are A Moron and there were too many subjects moving too fast for me to recall but some of the highlights were, Ellis can totally kick a bears ass, Miley Cyrus isn’t that hot, some more shit that I can’t remember, but in the end the real morons were the callers during final calls as expected. Speaking of things being expected, congrats on your new baby brother, I can’t wait until the episode of Maury to find out which guy yer mum has been trading fluids with is the father, OH!