It’s MLK Day and if you’re lucky like the guys, you get today off. If you’re unlucky like me, you better get your ass to work! You know the deal, no live show, no re-cap.
First world problems.
Show Re-cap For Monday 1/21/2013
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Show Re-cap For Friday 1/18/2013
Life sucks but if it’s bad then it will be good later but the bad needs the good otherwise the good will be bad. Get it? Here let me demonstrate, this blog used to be small, only me and @bitPimps, now it’s huge with up to and possibly more than a dozen readers! Still confused? Its like a hooker with no arms or legs, you just gota be good at suckin dick. Ellis has no cancer or aids because he’s a champion who has a plan and takes opportunity when it comes, also his skin doctor said so. Ellis’s mom might visit or get new boobs she’s not sure, but that’s just how they roll down in Australia. Speaking of plastic surgery, Ellis is thinking about getting Botox to make his eyes “less tired” looking. Here’s the chain saw bird. Josh has been working out but it also looks like he is getting fatter. The light run and chicken nugget diet doesn’t seem to be pulling the results that he has hoped.
Manti Tay’o of Notre Dame had girlfriend die and made a bit to-do about it and shit but it turned out that he never had a girlfriend in the first place. I really don’t give a shit and if you do then here is a link for you. Today was New Music Tuesday Friday, lucky us. Will.i.am and Brittany Spears made some shitacular music together,
I rock so hard that I just shit myself!
Mackamore and Ryan Lewis did more crap, 2 Cellos ruined more good somgs, and ASAP Rocky did something else that probably sucked. But more importantly in Finish news, and in Korean news. Kelly and Sam visited from Toronto and played Tullys Steven Segal true/false game. Did you know that Segal loves wine? And that he is so full of shit that he actually believes the shit he spews to the point that he might be one of the most fascinating dudes ever. Oh and Kelly didn’t lose so there wont be any dick sucking but Sam is gonna slob some major know toinight!
Lance Armstrong did roids and told Oprah, woopiddy-fuckin-do. Hollywood news, who gives a fuck, it’s Friday and I don’t live there. During Final Calls we learned
NOT A DRAMATIZATION!!
that if you get drunk and stabbed it’s probably because you hang with stabby people. Ozzy set his house on fire, and that’s metal as fuck. Joe Rowe is in love with Two Two so much that he sand about him. Andy Dick stopped in for the last 15 minutes and talked about weed, brain damage, tap dancing, ambiguously gay famous people, Joe Rogan, broken bones, and sang a song about stalking his neighbor and finger banging her. I was very happy to hear this, not because the song was good, but it’s nice to know the Andy Dick is treating yer mum so well, OH!
Show Re-cap For Thursday 1/17/2013
One of these guys had a catheter in his dick for 3+ years!
Thursday, star date: 1.17.2013 Would you want a man’s ass hanging on a wall in your home, if so, what would you do with it? Come on, you know what you’d do with it, don’t ya. You little dirty birdy. Tully is tired of his @possiblytully twitter name and is looking for something new. Before we could really get some suggestions going, a guest walked into the studio. Enter, Johnny Knoxville and him giving Ellis some praise and talking about he and Arnold Schwarzenegger in the movie The Last Stand. He also spoke of some past issues with fucking (people other than his wife) and the therapy he believes helps him with his issues. Knoxville also revealed that he didn’t really start jacking off until he was about 19 years-old, he tried at the ripe age of 14, but then dropped out for about 5 years. He wasn’t on very long, but was a good guest nonetheless. According to a doctor at Harvard University, us humans are infested with tiny versions of this spawn from hell.
It’s fucking oozing ranch!
In little bitch news, some little 4 year-old girl had a mouth full of metal teeth for awhile like Jaws, the James Bond villain. Apparently she went in for a few cavities and came out a goddamned thug with major street cred, however, she didn’t want them shits so now she’s got her grill all fixed up like normal. In Australia news, this dude went to Subway and posted a picture of his 11 (not 12) inch sandwich, spurring others to measure their sandwiches, low-and-behold, nobody got a real fucking footlong from Subway. Speaking of sandwiches, some tranny named Eva Lin (?) that was in the studio had another tranny’s fist and arm in her ass, up to the elbow! Holy meatball sub, Batman! Next, it was time for a game called “Dick Chicken”, but first – we needed music for it. So the guys set forth making some nice tunes (containing no lame licks) to put everyone in the mood – or at least put Rawdog in the mood to be caught jerking off by his gay roommate. Basically, here’s how the game goes, the tranny pulls out her dick and starts to walk towards a blindfolded contestant. The contestant has to guess when to say “stop” before the tranny dick hits them in the face. Who lost? Rawdog, of course. And for losing, he got to put on lipstick and kiss Cumtard’s ass – like a lot.
This is how I like to picture you truck drivers listening to the show.
Hollywood news time, Justin Bieber got another new tattoo, it’s Roman numerals for 1975 – for the year his mom was born. Skrillex had a birthday, with cake & candles & his hair on fire. Kourtney Kardashian said she’s super excited for her sister Kim to use her tits to feed both of their children. Britney Spears might be headlining in Vegas as hotel chains are in bidding wars to get her act at their shithole. Charlie Sheen is going to be a grandfather, from his 28 year-old daughter he had with some chick back in his high school days. Jason Statham might be ending his relationship with some stupid hot bitch, apparently he’s been partying it up and she’s mad at him for it. Michael Lohan said his daughter, Lindsay, is not a hooker – which is probably true, I’m sure she just fucks a lot. Jodie Foster made a speech at some awards ceremony and pretty much confirmed that she is indeed a lesbian, was anyone really surprised? Anyway, gay and straight people both found a way to have a problem with what she said and/or didn’t say. It’s kinda like your mom, nobody is ever satisfied with her, she’s just a cum receptacle. OH!
Show Re-cap For Wednesday 1/16/2013
So Cullen put together another nice Best of, but that was yesterday. Today is live bitches!!! Yeah so Ellismate’s been sick the past couple of days, he just didn’t want to get Tully and Rawdog sick, I mean fuck Will right? On top of being sick, the Wing also dropped his new iPhone 5 in the pool, Tiggy’s sick too and saying ‘Hell Yeah’, and that of course means the ex ain’t to happy either. But all us fans is happy we got us a live show today, and that we got to hear DavidLeeRothtallica today, stemming from this vocal only track of ol’ Diamond Dave doing Running With The Devil. Ok I was kidding, who gives a fuck about him, back to the show. Tully says Linsanity is officially smarter than a dog while Rawdog has still been going to the gym and says his pecks feel firm, wanna touch? Burger Ellis has been pissing everywhere and eating carpet, yup! And your boy Young Wing not only had a credit card cancelled for some bullshit reason, but he also had to hear some moronic callers swearing you can put a cut onion in a room with you, and it will suck up the aids and gay in the air. Grandma also says you can cut up potatoes and put them in a sock, rock your little potato necklace, and get mad bitches but no herpes. This same tactic is often used by Kayne West, who was caught on tape being a douche bag while Samuel Jackson and Spike Lee were being bigger douche bags, its about 30 seconds in. Oh, and Jay-Z hugged Tully this one time, thats about it.
Why You Don’t Beat It On XMas Day!
So what will Rawdog buy Tully and Ellis with his Trust Fund, which is due at age 35? Nothing, he’s Jewish, OH! Just kidding, but seriously the Jingleberries are some bitches (That we love and respect!) for retracting on Rawdog’s shitty beard as man-boy-ly as it may be. Pornhub.com is full of bitches, doing some really cool shit too, and they say these are the 11 days of the year that we ain’t jerking it…using a computer! So remember that special guest Ellis was referring to last week? Yeah well it wasn’t Stupid Tits who was back on the show to preform his infamous impressions. If you’ve never heard of Stupid Tits, he’s a former intern who’s metal as fuck, and if you’ve never heard him do an impression, well you must go back and check this out. Spot on Mitt Romney, Jackie Chan, Jenny Lopez ass and all, James Bond and not the shitty David Craig one either! This dude sent chills down our spines with the likes of Hulk Hogan, Batman while chowing Catwoman’s carnival, Dracula chowing whoevers beave, and of course Rawdog who is the king of eating pussy as we all know. Some hilarious shit here to hear, and a Stupid Tits side note, he’s no longer in All Gods Kill but instead front man for Lazarus Casket, check him out!
Metal As Fuck
So remember that special guest Ellis was referring to last week? Yeah well it was former Metallica bassist, and current shredding ledge, Rock and Roll Hall of Famer Jason Newsted. Honest opinion folks, fucking bad ass interview here and worth every minute of your time. Ellis and Newsted just flipped it back and forth…12 years tomorrow when Newsted left Metallica….Newsted’s proud of Ellis for that shark heart eating incident….no shooting elk at Newsted’s place…Newsted eats left overs….yeah don’t let that last one throw ya, good radio here. Oh, and of course, Unsigned Bands! But this wasn’t any ordinary Unsigned Bands, no this time we had actual advice and help and shit, it was weird! Just a few that we heard from, ‘Teleport’ with that micro penis dude from Vermont, ‘The Wad’ from Puerto Rico or there abouts, ‘Young General’ who’s lawyer sent in the tape, ‘Rusty Hook‘ who’s not that bad, and legends in the unsigned bands game ‘Cuddle Crew‘. Jason Newsted really gave some legitimate advice to these fuckers, and one last band of note, Death!Death!Die!. Yeah Tully slipped in “Pain of Time”, and Jason Newsted gave it honest review, and yes Shoebox the vocals are too low! He did justify why it was low, had to be for the guitar or some nerdy shit good reason. He also said the singer was pretty good, and the dude on keyboards fucking killed it. Be sure to check out the “Metal” EP and NewstedHeavyMetal.com.
#FuckTullyHellYeah
Obama said fuck you to Star Wars! Donald Schultz says fuck you to the blicks, but thats in a best of somewhere. Today was live, and so were the animals Schultz brought in for Ellis ‘Snake Box’ he’s been envisioning. Schultz and his boy Mark, from The Reptile Outlet who came in to help, say a big snake isn’t ideal for this box as they’re too hard to care for. Nah Mate, how about this “friendly spider”? Its a huge tarantula, with 1/2″ fangs which suck out the insides of beetles like slurpee’s. Well picture that in a tank, hanging from the ceiling, with webs inside of skulls and shit, just starring at you with those straws for teeth, and tell me its friendly. Seriously though this thing doesn’t bite humans, just insects and male spiders, fucks them up bad like! No name for our furry friend yet, but its sounds like she will be a huge part of the show to come. I do however have a name for our furry friend who also is huge, and can suck the cum out of anyone with her straw like fangs, its Your Mom, OH!
Show Re-cap For Tuesday 1/15/2013
It’s Tuesday and Ellis still has the butt worms, so no live show for our asses today. Since there will be no re-cap today, I leave you with the man whose known for beatin’ up that pussy, Rawdog. Ladies, that could all be yours. Contact him for tickets on the train to pleasure town. Also, here’s to hoping Ellis gets better soon.
