Show Re-cap For Friday 4/6/2012

It’s Friday, it’s Good, and nobody gives a fuck – actually, Jesus might give a fuck, and several hundred million other people too, but not us. Am I right, or am I right? Seriously, answer that question below in the comments. Ellis got himself a bad motor scooter today, it’s an Aprilia, and according to Donald Schwartz, it’s better than a Ducati. Sounds like it was given to him by Donnie Schwitz, or more likely on loan to him.

As most everyone knows, Ellis is going to be signing copies of his book, but now he’s going to sign a few with whatever he feels like or is a good suggestion from fans. Then people that order a signed copy of the book have a chance at getting one of these “specially” signed copies of the book. I think the best of the bunch were: 1 book has the VIP number, 1 book has Rawdog’s number – and he shat bricks so in a trade to get that book off the market, he wrote down the names of the 2 other guys he jacked-off with in the same book with the VIP number! Check out the #BookSigning for more awesome suggestions.

Someone is giving enema’s to people, made of other peoples’ shit – you know, to cure some kind of bacterial something or another. Which is weird because I was always told that 2 shits don’t make a right. There was talk about old people driving, I think we all know what’s up with that – old people are dangerous drivers. Sometimes I think they’re more dangerous than a teen driving drunk.

The rest was jibber jabber about all sorts of little topics such as; Australia’s fucked up animals, Russia’s new anti-gay law, some chick supposedly misplacing her winning mega-millions ticket at a McDonald’s, some dude got drunk at a wedding reception and went around challenging everyone to a fight, Amanda Bynes getting arrested for DUI, some dude wanted to know how to meet women because he’s on the road a lot – apparently he hasn’t met your mother yet, and that major whore you call “mom” has perfected her latest sexual maneuver – called the minivan. OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 4/5/2012

Today started out with a bang, Ellis broke up with his girlfriend.  Please let me know if you are surprised by this, I believe there is a short bus and helmet waiting for you.  Jason also came to an emotional realization about himself and Andrea.  I would tell you more, but I won’t because I missed part of it. (Notice a theme here.)  After all the emotional babble they started talking about shitty music, mainly Radio Head.  One would assume that RawDog would be the go-to guy for this topic.  You would be wrong.  Not only does Josh like shitty music, he thinks good music is shitty.  Wow, wrap your head around that one.

Then they got onto the subject of John Travolta and that hes a good dancer or some shit.  But much more importantly, the worlds biggest fan of The Jason Ellis Show called in.  Honestly, I almost pissed myself.  This “fan” thought he must have been talking to the call screener, sorry, call screeners. All three of them.  Had quite a lengthy conversation and even saying how he could recognize the crew in a restaurant just by their voices alone.  I wish I had the transcript, this was the definition of radio gold.  A must listen tomorrow morning.

Ferdinand Porsche died, raided New York, has lazer eyes.  Jim Marshall of Marshall Amps also died, or maybe the Marshall clothing store guy.  I’m not sure, I should ask RawDog.  Then Jeremy Williams and Gangie (probably butchered the shit out of that name) from Fortune Gym stopped by.  Jeremy is going to give Josh boxing lessons so he can kick some cunt and everyone can see titty.  What more inspiration do you need.  Then they talked about some shit I don’t want to get into so moving along.

Schultz came in again, probably had to pee but he stayed a while this time.  They talked about go-karts and the Big Fucking Mega Boat movie.  Then Donald left, again.  The boys took calls from the listeners and got some pretty good ideas, and a lot of really bad ideas.  The general thought is, MORE BOOBIES.  Can’t go wrong with that.

Then they played a base ball trivia game with ball clamps and the RC car. I’m sure you know how the game went with Jason and Josh’s extensive knowledge of sports. And then it was the usual final calls time.  “Jason your great” “Cum Guvenah” “Can I talk to Ellis” “My 5 month old son lost 70 pounds listening to your show” the usual stuff.  The only thing more usual is the excitement of the horses when your mom goes to the stables, OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 4/4/2012

I am back to grace you with my whimsical writings and often humorous tales of excitement, passion, and woe.  Now that the bullshit is out of the way, today was a busy show.  Everything started out with Ellis wanting to be a somersaulting moto dolphin saki or some shit, then there was mention of Ellis being on Fox and Friends.  From their conversation I’m pretty sure its not the Furry porno that I, never mind, moving on.

Then things turned into money and if its still masculine to make less than your wife.  The over all consensus is, fuck yeah. Then they got into the issue of dating a porn star which means all your shit is bought with dicks.  The cup your drinking out of, dicks.  The soap you wash your ass with, dicks. You get the idea.  Moving further on, Fred Durst isn’t a douche after all, he’s a SUPER DOUCHE.  Apparently after signing with his new label he kicked a couple long time band mates to the curb.  Too bad so sad.

There was talk about the EM8 fights, i didn’t hear it because my phone app is a piece of shit, but there was something about @shit_tobboggan fighting.  Then @mayhemmiller stopped by, did some shit, talked loud, said something about making sweet sweet love to his lady friends, then talked about jacking off.  Pretty typical Mayhem conversation.

@Donaldschultz stopped in for a Redbull and a tinkle. Best guest appearance ever.  After the confusion over the Schultz incident the boys started to come up with character names for Big Fucking Mega Boat and the phones and Twitter were flying.  There were too many names to mention and I will assume this took the place of Worlds Greatest Wednesday.

During final calls my mobile app once again took a shit and I was unable to listen to the rest of the show. I really wish Sirius would fix this issue because much like your mom, this app sucks massive donkey balls. OH!

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 4/3/2012

Roman MoroniWork has got me so fucking busy that I haven’t had a chance to listen to much of the show for the past 2 days, and let me tell you, it’s farggin bullshit, man! Martha Stewart’s grand daughter is named after @rude_jude? If that’s true, it’s fucking hilarious! Rawdog recently fantasized about winning the lottery (instead of getting all up in some chicks weewat) and one of the things he said he would do was to not do the show on a daily basis, but he would come back every now and then. What a nice guy, gracing us with his presence. Thomas Haden Church called the VIP line on the show today, only further increasing his awesomeness by providing even more evidence that he does in fact listen to the show on a pretty regular basis. He wants Ellis to drive his 600 HP Porsche around, he wants to stop by the show on a day where he doesn’t have to leave to go do other publicity, etc. This guys stock just keeps going up in my book.

Anyway, that’s all I have for today. Sorry the past 2 days have been pretty short, but like I said – I’m busier than whore on dollar day lately. And you know how busy that is, that’s why you never saw your mom, every day was dollar day for that slut. OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 4/2/2012

Staycation is over and the show is back live, which means I’m gonna make your read this craptasticness. Talk quickly turned to getting licked where you shit, specifically dudes getting their asshole licked by their chicks. Which in turn went to two dudes actually have sex with each other, for just one night, and it not being gay. I don’t know how that’s possible, but there you go. And, still no solid date for EllisMania 8. I feel like this is the longest running joke in radio history. I guess if you live close enough to make the weekend trip it’s all good.

Rawdog got a new roommate, Jared, that he met off of Craigslist. I assume Rawdog will be murdered within a few months and there will be a movie about it on Lifetime before the year is out. Also, we found out that Kit Cope and Ellis have even more in common than previously thought – they both have decked female police officers! That’s pretty much all I got for you this time around. I think the last thing I heard was that it had been confirmed, your mom has gonorrhea. Sorry about that. OH!