Category Archives: Nonsense

Other various nonsense and funny stuff related and unrelated to The Jason Ellis Show.

The Jingleberries Will Make You Famous, Or Look Fucktarded (Part 5)

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Remember when The Jingleberries put out a call for recordings? Well, we’re doing a 5th round that we can send off for The Jingleberries to work their magic on, while we sit back and hope it gets played on the air.

Soon, I Will Be With You
(by: thegooser)

Purdy Mouth
(by: thegooser)

Get off Yur Mum
(by: thegooser)

Channel 713
(by: sharkchucker)

This Ain’t Your Grandma’s Radio
(by: Lil’ bitPimps)

3rd Ball
(by: bitPimps)

Morgan Freeman Is Prolific
 (by: sharkchucker)

Your Mama’s So Dumb
(by: bitPimps)

The Dream Whisperer
(by: serutti)

Hey, Callers
(by: sharkchucker)

Meet The Guy That Verbally Murdered The Entire Jason Ellis Show Crew

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If you were listening to the show last Friday (7/19/2013), you heard what to date was probably the best rap track on “Unsigned Bands” that’s ever been submitted. This guy @CassetteCoast apparently listens very closely to the show and in his track, systematically tore into Ellis, Tully, Will, Rawdog, and Dom. Ellis and Tully seemed genuinely impressed, as were all of us listeners who were left laughing our asses off and requesting that Ellis play the track in its entirety again – which he did. Today had a pleasant surprise in store when @CassetteCoast reached out, which led me to his website www.cassettecoast.com (duh!) where he has posted a video about his appearance on the show. After hearing him (skip to the 1:35 mark in the video below) explaining himself and the track a bit more, and giving props to all the other bands played on Unsigned Bands, I was left feeling that he seems like a pretty good guy. A few Twitter exchanges later and sure enough, he certainly was a nice dude. Along with 4 other tracks, he also has the Jason Ellis Target Practice track up on his SoundCloud, so you might want to go check that out as well. Take a bow @CassetteCoast, you deserve it! I don’t think I’ve ever heard a track do so well on Unsigned Bands, nor have I seen so many tweets about a track featured on Unsigned Bands. You clearly have some real talent and you made a bunch of us laugh our asses off!

Jason Ellis Target Practice

For the lyrically challenged:
Faction 41, hold ya tongue, man I’m fitna show you sumn,
unsigned artist, I’m the target so its only fun,
before you get to raggin’ on me, talkin’ bad and dragging on,
lets put this in perspective for a second, what’s happenin’ homie.

Will Pendarvis, the talkin’ dolphin, been jackin’ off at Dom’s apartment,
and garnishing sausages with his esophagus,
honestly Dom is there predominately as his fuck buddy,
get their butts muddy, high 5’ing holla’n FUCK TULLY.

What’s funny college boy, let’s recollect I checked yo shit,
how is you critiquing people bitch, you put out Retrofit,
the biggest pile of shit to get on iTunes and I do,
feel sorry for your wife, women am I right?

Now now now Josh started changing when Karla Lane had banged him,
and painted his face with some pussy juice some other dude just came in,
smell ya finger playa, ball sack, and a little bit of Chick-fil-A,
Jason, look at Josh man, what part of Rawdog isn’t gay?

Anyway what up Jay, how’s your girlfriend, what up Kate,
ol’ butter face ass bitch gone and tell the tale from that crypt,
now in Aussie news they caught a dude tryna do bukkake on a Kawasaki,
with a hockey stick in his ass waving ’round a Canadian flag.

Wad.

Hold up. Just doin’ a little bit a target practice man, that’s all.
Red Dragon’s old hoe-ass nigga,
put that on a button, ahh.

Welcome To The Pendarvis Grill & Pub!

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marlboro_soup

Home style cooking!

So obviously there was no show today. And what happens when we’re all bored because our favorite radio show isn’t live? We find a way to stave off boredom, that’s what we do. So I decided it was time to play a game called #PendarvisAndSides The premise? Wll has died and said we could eat him, so people pitched in ideas for ways to eat Will and the sides that could go along with Will. Like a massive Thanksgiving feast with all sorts of food, anything and everything went. This gave me the idea, with all this food, we needed a menu so people could easily choose what they wanted. Thus, the Pendarvis Grill & Pub was spawned. Thanks to everyone who participated, we now have a menu! Let’s check it out.
* Nutrition chart unavailable.

中 Our Menu 中

Lil’ Will Smokies
Will’s fingers & toes smoked until tender and then lightly cooked in a sweet glaze, served with a mixed fruit and Will eye / testicle salad, topped with crushed pecans and cigarette ashes.

Crispy Wills
Will skin chips, lightly salted, with his ball cheese, sweat, & salsa for dipping

Waistline Will
A small portion of baked, boneless, and skinless Will on a bed of rice pilaf and served with green beans almondine.

Pendarvis BLT
Will bacon cooked to perfection with a hint of maple and Marlboro, lettuce, tomato, and mayonnaise, served with sweet potato fries.

Pulled Pendarvis
Slow smoked (in tobacco), hand pulled Will sandwich with chipotle mayonnaise and pickle slices, served with baked beans and cantaloupe.

Slick Willy
Pendarvis confit served with deviled eggs and a pack of your choice from Philip Morris.

Southern Pendarvis
Thick slices of Pendarvis roast served with candied yams and collard greens.

Will Medallions
Will medallions smothered in gravy and topped with melted provolone cheese, served with potatoes au gratin.

Tender Pendar
Fresh cuts of Will dry rubbed and slow smoked for 24 hours, served with mashed potatoes and corn on the cob.

Welfare Will
A generous portion of mac-n-cheese with sliced pieces of all beef Will, served with a deep fried Twinkie.

Rack O’ Pendarvis
A half rack of Pendarvis spare ribs, served with coleslaw and cornbread.

Pendarvis Panini
Tender pieces of Will with an assortment of fresh peppers, onions, melted cheese, and a shiny shin salad.

Alabama Fried Will
Breaded & fried Will breasts, served with mashed potatoes & gravy and a biscuit.

Heil Pendarvis
Willwurst with sour kraut, served on a lightly toasted bun with a dab of spicy mustard.

Smoked Pendarvis
Tender, slow smoked cut of Will meat, served with coleslaw and beans.

Yippee Ki Willay Burger
Will burger cooked to perfection, topped with onion strings, and with your choice of cheese, and condiments, served with onion rings.

Sweet Home Alabama, Will’s Bad Mama Jama
Deep fried Pendarvis shins with crispy onions and home fries.

Pendarvis Plantation Special
Smoked Will hocks served with collard greens.

Fancy Pants Pendarvis
Bacon wrapped 6 or 9 ounce filet of Will, served with roasted garlic mashed potatoes and grilled asparagus.

Hairless Sir Pendarvis
A tender cut of Will sirloin steak, served with chemotherapy.

Sign Your Will
Our famous PenChowder.

Ballpark Pendarvis
Smokey Will dogs topped with crumbled bacon bits, served with potato salad.

Handy Willy
Will’s meaty hands fried to perfection in his own belly fat and served with gravy.

Rise ‘N Regret
Eggs Willy cooked to order, served with hashbrowns, bacon, champaign and orange juice, and a lifetime of regret.

Struck Match
Your choice of Pendarvis and waffles or Pendarvis scrapple with eggs, topped with ketchup and tobacco spit.

中 Desserts 中

Deep fried Twinkie, pecan pie, bread pudding, and cupcakes with brown frosting.

中 Beverages 中

Pepto-Bismol, Iced Tea, Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew, and Mountain Dew.

fuck_you_pie

Try our hair pies! Contains 100% fruit and Pendarvis pubic hair!

Thanks to: @TwistedMetalFab, @shit_toboggan, @emilyinSD, @eastcoasttully, @Cody_McCraw92, @sharkchucker, @mike_in_canada, @J_Chappel, @Truk_Norris, @Scarlet_Kitty, @willfromcowtown, @thegooser, @mighty_boognish, @CrackerStacker6, and of course me, @bitPimps, because I’m an attention whore!

Sad Day in Canada

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Anyone that follows me on Twitter (or was in close enough proximity for me to tell them) knows that today was the last time I’ll be able to listen to the Ellis Show live. No, it won’t be the last time I listen live ever in the history of the world, but it will be for the time being. I had to get a new job, and this one doesn’t allow me to rearrange my workload so that I can listen to the show 4 hours/day. HOW DARE THEY NOT PAY ME TO FUCK AROUND EVERY AFTERNOON – THIS IS BULLSHIT! Sad panda…

Anyway… Not being able to listen live is going to suck dick at being awesome. In fact, I’m actually pretty bummed about it. The idea of not being able to tweet in stupid ideas and comments to a live radio show may seem like a stupid thing to get upset over, but for me it was a great way to make a lot of people laugh and interact with a show I’m into.  I admit, I always love hearing “@mike_in_canada says… [nothing of value]” on the show but I was equally excited by the jokes the guys used without ever saying my name. Who knows how much they appreciated the jokes/bits I wrote for show, (I always imagined it went like “for fuck sakes Mike in Canada sent in another stupid idea, should we pity mention him?” hahahaha classic) but just knowing that they used something I wrote was always good enough for me.

The idea of contributing to my favorite radio show, live while it was happening, always amazed me and I’m going to miss doing it. What other show includes the fans as much as the Ellis Show does? None, sir. I think what Jason, Tully, and Rawdog do to interact with the fans is pretty wild and people should remember that more. There’s no show like it. So if anyone has a problem with me tweeting the jokes I would have normally said 4-5 hours late you’d better unfollow me, because I’ll be listening and daddy needs his fix. And to the person reading this, and the No You Are crew – enjoy the live show and remember: when they read your joke, you probably made 100,000s of people laugh – you lucky bastards.

Oh oh and lastly… Hey Bit, how ironic is it that the first thing I ever decide to write on NYA comes on the last day I get a live show. Mother fucker…

Sincerely,

-a twelve year old girl

A Message To @mike_in_canada From @wiz1010

A Message To @mike_in_canada From The NYA Crew