Holy shit fuck it’s Friday again and you know what that means, I’m probably drunk and you should be too! Rawdog seemed strangely quiet today, almost like he wasn’t there. Almost like he was somewhere else. Almost like he took a day off to fly to Chicago for the weekend to score some weed and listen to shitty music at a shitty music festival. But calm yourselves because the show must go on and it did. Ellis texted Gay Breudiger to confirm their fight at Ellismania and Gabe replied with, “yup, what’s the date?” Comedy genius! When Ellis was parking today he confronted some jack wagon that took his spot and while delivering a verbal ground n pound a fan came by and said what’s up and asked for an autograph. Must be nice being a superstar. The conversation circled back to the fight controversy of EllisMania 8 and how things might be now. Ellis really hopes that Gabe is better and it goes all three rounds. BREAKING NEWS! Executive producer, The Huntington Beach Bad Boy, just brought in Corey Mother Fuckin Taylor! And what else does Corey Mother Fuckin Taylor want to talk about? Nothing other than coffee and ghosts, but mostly ghosts. Like the time he saw a ghost in his room dressed in a tuxedo and how he tried to chase the ghost butt ass naked with his wang a swingin. Then he talked about some schoolhouse that has ghosts in it and how there were file cabinets and toy cars. Gives me chills just thinking about it. He also talked about being famous and getting recognized but mostly strange people who don’t have a fucking clue who he is just spark up conversations with him. Ellis has had similar experiences like the time a dude at a gas station looked right at Jason and grabbed his dick. Tully told his ghost stories and how his crazy neighbor told him that the noises are real but it is Tully and his mental fortitude (that might be the wrong word but it sounds good) that is making those sounds that he hears. Then they talked about UFOs, anal probes, and microscopic aliens. Apparently Tully’s wife sees ghosts, but the ghost looks just like Tully so thats probably his brain making that happen to, or his wife might be crazy, but she’s a woman, no women are crazy, right? Oh and Corey Mother Fuckin Taylor told the story of how he got pushed down the stairs by a ghost while holding his son. Spooky and a dick move!
While Corey Mother Fuckin Taylor was in studio they did Unsigned bands agian, here is my take on them.
Jayare Leos-good music shitty vocals.
Cassette Coast-best rap about TJES I’ve ever heard.
Brave Serenade-while listening to this I suddenly remembered to change my tampon.
Finger Blast-the line “text and drive, I don’t give a fuck, that’s why I have insurance and a lid on my cup” had me sold.
A Minor Revolution-it’s punk and sounds like punk so I guess it’s alright.
Wad-shitty in a hilarious way.
Mc Fee-scattered with dubstep like shit being smacked with a tennis racket.
Fallen saint-this scares me, this guy kicks puppies.
Whiskey dick-first line, “if you loved me you’d help me hide this body” and ladies and gentleman we have a winner!
Seeking Apollo-gay, gaytastic, incredigay, gayriffic.
Danny Darko and something something but fuck it, it sucks anyway.
Finally Milkweek with Fecal Weapon-It’s good, really good, best song about shit I’ve ever heard.
Corey Mother Fuckin Taylor’s book, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Heaven Or How I Made Peace With The Paranormal And Stigmatized Zealots And Cynics In The Process, available at Amazon.com also available in an audio version in case you can’t read. See what I just did there? That’s ironic comedy, good shit.
Theres a video of an awkward rave that is actually a party at BroneyCon but fuck that, watch this instead. The Huntington Beach Bad Boy talked to Corey Mother Fuckin Taylor about the lyrics about pushing his fingers in his eyes and if he really did that. His answer was no, he does however put them into the corner of his eyes to apply pressure to his sinuses. The thing stranger than this question is the fact that this is a common question that Corey Mother Fuckin Taylor gets! Hollywood News time, Andy Dick, some dude from Oasis, Elvis Presley, James Brown, my balls, Kanye West, get em, bla bla bla.
Duane Wade’s wife has a meltdown outside a Chicago court because she is bat shit crazy and wants more money. Larry Linkogle of The Metal Mulisha wrote a book, Mind of the Demon: A Memoir of Motocross, Madness, and the Metal Mulisha, also Available on Amazon.com. An Oklahoma lady threatened her neighbor with a knife because she thinks he told everyone that she fucked her cat, which she claims she did. A church in the Czech Republic is decorated with human bones. That’s metal as fuck! A man with 10 stone 140 pound balls had a 13 hour procedure to get his normal balls back but being the dick that God is, his dick is now only one inch long. Kids are pansy asses these days. Can’t even handle a simple decapitation and cannibalism. Back in the day fish suicides were the regular. But if your kid isn’t a pussy and kicks asses for no reason the only solution is to move with him to the mountains and raise him either till you break him or he becomes one with a wolf pack. Or therapy but you don’t get to wear the furs of your kills in therapy. A woman in Louisiana got hit by lightning inside a grocery store. Today’s public service announcement, small town cops are dickheads, city cops are too but don’t have time for your piddly ass shit. Did you hear the one about the jogger who kept shitting in someones yard? Well I got one better, here’s the video. That’s all for me today, I gotta run and make sure yer mum is ready for the rodeo tonight, OH!
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