Did you know that @bitPimps is sick with the AIDS and that’s why I’m doing the Monday recap? And did you know that fat people can be skinny, dumb people can be smart, and the old, we’ll they’ll still be old but a better more awesome version of old? Ellis watched the Super Bowl this weekend, not all of it but just enough to know that the game was a one sided steamy pile of bronco shit. And he missed the halftime show but heard the Red Hot Chili Peppers sucked. Ellis and Dingo both saw the moto race though. Here’s a brief summary of the races, one dude went really fast and another dude went really fast also but not as fast as the first dude, then a bunch of guys weren’t as fast as the first and second dude. Chad Reed has flubber in his tires and it’s illegal for him to give Ellis an old one because that’s top secret shit. And the track was slippery. There you go folks, Moto News! You heard it here first. Unless you heard it somewhere else already. What you didn’t hear first is how they got on the subject of Ellis being in the X-Games. All I know is that Ellis doesn’t want to do the mega ramp or anything that will send him to the hospital for that matter. Jason got call from an Indian woman, according to his impersonation, who asked him to be apart of her documentary because she thinks he is interesting looking. They also talked about Ellis’s book. Unlike his last book this one is pretty mild. It’s a split between Jason’s wild and crazy brain and Andrea’s responsible mommy brain. Tully watched the UFC on delay so he could watch The Candelabra. DING! Phil Anselmo has been noted as being a big fan of The Smiths, so much so that he has hinted that Cemetery Gates was named after an earlier song by The Smiths with the same title. This is the second time in my life Anselmo has fucked up Pantera. Fuck you you fuckin fuck! Mommy called, not your mommy, Andrea. She called to explain why she gave the Indian lady his number and the only explanation as to why was a series of giggles as if this was a very well played prank. Well played.

We returned with the exclusive Jason Ellis show MMA correspondent Kenda Perez. They talked about fights and fighting and face punching and cutting weight and stuff like that. It was MMAwesome! <- I gave myself a dick punch for that one. They talked about the Super Bowl again and since I already covered that I’m moving on to more important things. A squirrel in the UK got a monster mask stuck on its head and freaked people the fuck out. Also remember that time that Ellis said that if Chad Reed ends the season as the number one moto warlord of forever that he will do something awesome? Well he did and they talked about it. Ellis isn’t sure though if he’ll do a Mui Tai fight or an MMA fight or a skate competition. But no matter what he isn’t going to half ass it and will train and practice and give it his all. Some knob bitched about Swardson being on the show Friday. I agree with the point the guys made, who gives a fuck who is on or how often as long as it’s entertaining. If you don’t like it, don’t listen. Speaking of whiney ass bitches, Opie was bitching about the birthday barbecue bash. Bunch of knobs. Phillip Seymour Hoffman died. In case you haven’t been on Twitter or Facebook or are breathing. It’s fucked up not because he overdosed but because he left his kids. Tully made the point that short term gratification is often perceived as a mistake while long term gratifications are often cherished. And on such wise and inspiring words I bring you this, Beiber skateboarding on dance floor. Ellis farted on the cat and Katie heard but it’s okay because it’s funny. Its the rule, if its gross its okay, but only if its funny or on video or both

Hollywood and the world is rocked with the allegations that Call Of The Wildman (turtle man) may be fake! But more shocking and completely real is Ellis Jeopardy! And what might end up rocking the world of millions, Dingo was the winner. The show was ended with some dude complaining about getting his poopie poked, a girl wanting to know how to get her poopie poked more, and some dude mumbling something about cookies. Next time he should try getting yer mum off his face before he calls, OH!