Show Recap for Tuesday 1/27/15

“Welcome, maybe?”

I started my previous recap by stating that Ellis was back.  The above statement was how he started the show today.  I think we lost him again somewhere between last Wednesday and Las Vegas.  Apparently he’s been stricken with panic attacks every day since then, and of course he always worries those will lead to AFib.  Add to that the social anxiety of a weekend on display at the AVN Awards and it’s no surprise he needed a day off on Monday.  It seems the recent Australia trip was a bigger blow to the psyche than he initially realized and he still hadn’t taken proper time to process that shit which can only compound his PTSD.  The man has issues.


The man also has a hell of a lot of good people who really do care about him.  More than he will ever allow himself to believe.  We get it, mate.  Many among us walk similar obstructed paths in life and fall victim to the black hole of negativity because of it.  I don’t need to preach about the benefits of seeking comfort in the positive aspects of one’s life, or inspire with meaningful words, or motivate anyone to do better for themselves by facing a challenge head-on.  That’s your thing.  Besides, how do you tell a champion that he should stop fighting a battle and learn how to live with the loss?  And then convince him that is how he will ultimately win the biggest prize?  A fucking lame boxing metaphor is all I got.  Take your medicine Jason Ellis.   Continue reading

Show recap for Friday 3/7/2014

Welcome to the recap, it’s Friday, so this is the Friday recap of the Jason Ellis Show, that I’m recapping. Will got a gift today, a Hate Bean-Bag! Everyone should own a bean bag, not only are they comfortable, but you will know what it’s like to be a turtle on it’s back every time you try to get up. Ellis was on The Kevin and Bean show this morning and had a good time. At least that’s the impression I got. Jude came in and I got distracted until he said that pain sex makes his penis go inside him. Then I got busy again and then Tully told the story of his “your mom” tattoo. See folks, accuracy, integrity, and only the facts here at NoYouAre! Remember that one time that Ellis did the Angry Pussy bit where he pretended to be his cat? Yeah, the bit that sucked, well the three people that liked it called in and tried to get Ellis to do it again but Sha Boy Young Wing was too smart for their schenannigans! Have you picked up Jude’s book yet? What about Ellis’s book? What about my book? Just kidding, I can’t write.

Ellis has (actually had, I’m a little late) his book signing tomorrow in Rancho Cuckoomoogoo and then afterward everyone is going to a secret location to further

Canada, producing 90% of the worlds Canadian porn!

Canada, producing 90% of the worlds Canadian porn!

the awesomeness that is literally oozing out of everybody that reads the book. Some lady called in about her son feeling bad about having to fight girls in his kickboxing class but those girls signed up for the class and are entitled to the same beat down as the boys so keep swingin dude. Canada called out Tully for doggin Canookian porn but what he was really saying is that he loves Canadian porn, especially all the parts with a moose in the background.

The Army’s top Sexual Assault prosecutor has been suspended after allegations that he sexually assaulted a female attourney. There’s a joke in there somewhere, I know it. Irony, plus situation, plus titty honking noises equals comedy every time! The legendary man,Tommy Chong, visited the boys today. They talked about all kinds of things but surprisingly they didn’t talk about marijuana. They talked about weed, pot, grass, gonja, Mary Jane, hemp, chronic, bud, herb, reefer, cannibas, dope, sticky icky, hash, kush, skunk, and how the universe is made of love. image (5)
Orgasmatron! I have no idea why it’s in my recap notes but I like the way it sounds. Ellis has little cuts on his forehead from scowling too much. Probably while he’s sleeping. I’ve never heard of this but the more I think about it the more I realize that face cuts from scowling too hard is metal. Oh and Christian is in the studio and he is bringing us something totally terrible, the worst song ever recorded! But first they takes about how all wolf movies suck except Werewolf in London and Underworld. Also they said some thing about the Dog Soldiers trailer so I found it for you because I’m nice and shit. Now back to

Dude, is it gay to shave my friend? What if he is really really cute?

Dude, is it gay to shave my friend? What if he is really really cute?

the newest segment, Worst Song Of All Time Contest. Christian, Tully, and Ellis provided us with suck craptacular bands as Aqua, Creed, Madonna, Pretty Boy Floyd, and Rodney Rude. Are you cooler than Shawn White? That is the question troubling the minds of the Jason Ellis show and a new segment that we will be listening to in the near future. And then there were Final Calls. We were gifted with such things as, should a dude shave his very hairy buddy? Veet burns off hair, everywhere, even your balls. Ellis shaving his ass in the shower is like watching a polar bear ride a bike, and a chicks dude can only cum when she talks about other dudes fucking her. Crazy, the only time yer mum can cum when there are multitudes of dudes fucking her, OH!