Show Re-cap for Friday 5/2/2014

Welcome to the Friday recap. Here at the Friday recap we only have two rules, talk about the recap, and don’t stab Ellis. He’s on blood thinners for his ticker and if he dies this recap will be really boring. Katie has a job now and Ellis fending for himself like a big boy, cooking cleaning, and even making the bed. He doesn’t like making the bed though because he’s just gonna mess it up later. I told that same thing to my dad once and he said, “then why do you wipe your ass after you take a shit? You’re just gonna shit again later?” And that 04was the last time I ever wiped my ass, thanks dad. They talked about making toys out of junk and shit. Old school shoe box rockets, cardboard box castles, sticks with barbed wire wrapped around the end. Being a poor kid was awesome! The Vikings finale was also talked about and I don’t give a crap about spoilers so for those that missed it here is a summary of what happened:

Ragnar’s mom married this other dude and Ragnar hated his new stepbrother. They fought all the time until one day Ragnar’s step brother punched his dickhead real brother and they realized that they both have a common enemy and then joined forces and kicked everybody’s ass and started Prestige Worldwide.

Tully has finally been watching a bunch of old Arnold movies like Predator and Total Recal. But he hasn’t watched the pinnacle of the Schwarzenegger movie empire, Kindergarten 600full-kindergarten-cop-posterCop. Ellis talked about getting a Harley just to cruise and relax with style. This brought up the topic of style and how some style never dies, like wearing yellow undies and a bandanna with a bitchin handlebar mustache. Nobody questions your style when you’re ripping open your shirt and calling everybody brother!
Oh and Kevin still has diarrhea, cha cha cha.

Mickey Easterling was an old broad that died in New Orleans. But she wasn’t just buried in the ground, at her wake she was propped up on a bench, wore a party gown with a feather boa, a cigarette in one hand and a glass of champagne in the other. Even dead this lady is still more awesome than you. 2 Nonenal is the shit that comes out of old people skin that gives them the smell of death. But luckily now there is a Japanese soap that gets rid of it. Nursing home workers are stoked! Then they did more Wolfknife names. Go to and sign up. And remember, with every 100 packages you buy you get a free one year subscription to NoYouAre.


Canadian News EH! There’s a dead whale in Newfoundland and it’s the most famous thing in Canada since Beiber or Bob and Doug and the locals are fighting with Canadian Feds on who gets to keep it. Remember when you were in that garage band and you guys thought you were awesome and were gonna get tons of trim with your sweet licks? Well this is how you really sounded. Hell, some of you might actually be on this list of the 12 most horrific songs.

Ben Aflak has been banned from the Hard Rock Casino for being a total douche and a shitty actor. Plus they said he was counting cards. A woman hit a bicyclist and bitched about the damage, an Arizona, ummm woman? was arrested for beastiality for trying to fuck a horse, some rich dude bought his way into a race and totally trashed a Ferrari, and yer mum is still a ditch pig. That’s a wrap bitches, OH!

Show recap for Friday 3/7/2014

Welcome to the recap, it’s Friday, so this is the Friday recap of the Jason Ellis Show, that I’m recapping. Will got a gift today, a Hate Bean-Bag! Everyone should own a bean bag, not only are they comfortable, but you will know what it’s like to be a turtle on it’s back every time you try to get up. Ellis was on The Kevin and Bean show this morning and had a good time. At least that’s the impression I got. Jude came in and I got distracted until he said that pain sex makes his penis go inside him. Then I got busy again and then Tully told the story of his “your mom” tattoo. See folks, accuracy, integrity, and only the facts here at NoYouAre! Remember that one time that Ellis did the Angry Pussy bit where he pretended to be his cat? Yeah, the bit that sucked, well the three people that liked it called in and tried to get Ellis to do it again but Sha Boy Young Wing was too smart for their schenannigans! Have you picked up Jude’s book yet? What about Ellis’s book? What about my book? Just kidding, I can’t write.

Ellis has (actually had, I’m a little late) his book signing tomorrow in Rancho Cuckoomoogoo and then afterward everyone is going to a secret location to further

Canada, producing 90% of the worlds Canadian porn!

Canada, producing 90% of the worlds Canadian porn!

the awesomeness that is literally oozing out of everybody that reads the book. Some lady called in about her son feeling bad about having to fight girls in his kickboxing class but those girls signed up for the class and are entitled to the same beat down as the boys so keep swingin dude. Canada called out Tully for doggin Canookian porn but what he was really saying is that he loves Canadian porn, especially all the parts with a moose in the background.

The Army’s top Sexual Assault prosecutor has been suspended after allegations that he sexually assaulted a female attourney. There’s a joke in there somewhere, I know it. Irony, plus situation, plus titty honking noises equals comedy every time! The legendary man,Tommy Chong, visited the boys today. They talked about all kinds of things but surprisingly they didn’t talk about marijuana. They talked about weed, pot, grass, gonja, Mary Jane, hemp, chronic, bud, herb, reefer, cannibas, dope, sticky icky, hash, kush, skunk, and how the universe is made of love. image (5)
Orgasmatron! I have no idea why it’s in my recap notes but I like the way it sounds. Ellis has little cuts on his forehead from scowling too much. Probably while he’s sleeping. I’ve never heard of this but the more I think about it the more I realize that face cuts from scowling too hard is metal. Oh and Christian is in the studio and he is bringing us something totally terrible, the worst song ever recorded! But first they takes about how all wolf movies suck except Werewolf in London and Underworld. Also they said some thing about the Dog Soldiers trailer so I found it for you because I’m nice and shit. Now back to

Dude, is it gay to shave my friend? What if he is really really cute?

Dude, is it gay to shave my friend? What if he is really really cute?

the newest segment, Worst Song Of All Time Contest. Christian, Tully, and Ellis provided us with suck craptacular bands as Aqua, Creed, Madonna, Pretty Boy Floyd, and Rodney Rude. Are you cooler than Shawn White? That is the question troubling the minds of the Jason Ellis show and a new segment that we will be listening to in the near future. And then there were Final Calls. We were gifted with such things as, should a dude shave his very hairy buddy? Veet burns off hair, everywhere, even your balls. Ellis shaving his ass in the shower is like watching a polar bear ride a bike, and a chicks dude can only cum when she talks about other dudes fucking her. Crazy, the only time yer mum can cum when there are multitudes of dudes fucking her, OH!