Show Recap for Monday 2/3/2014

Did you know that @bitPimps is sick with the AIDS and that’s why I’m doing the Monday recap? And did you know that fat people can be skinny, dumb people can be smart, and the old, we’ll they’ll still be old but a better more awesome version of old? Ellis watched the Super Bowl this weekend, not all of it but just enough to know that the game was a one sided steamy pile of bronco shit. And he missed the halftime show but heard the Red Hot Chili Peppers sucked. Ellis and Dingo both saw the moto race though. Here’s a brief summary of the races, one dude went really fast and another dude went really fast also but not as fast as the first dude, then a bunch of guys weren’t as fast as the first and second dude. Chad Reed has flubber in his tires and it’s illegal for him to give Ellis an old imagesone because that’s top secret shit. And the track was slippery. There you go folks, Moto News! You heard it here first. Unless you heard it somewhere else already. What you didn’t hear first is how they got on the subject of Ellis being in the X-Games. All I know is that Ellis doesn’t want to do the mega ramp or anything that will send him to the hospital for that matter. Jason got call from an Indian woman, according to his impersonation, who asked him to be apart of her documentary because she thinks he is interesting looking. They also talked about Ellis’s book. Unlike his last book this one is pretty mild. It’s a split between Jason’s wild and crazy brain and Andrea’s responsible mommy brain. Tully watched the UFC on delay so he could watch The Candelabra. DING! Phil Anselmo has been noted as being a big fan of The Smiths, so much so that he has hinted that Cemetery Gates was named after an earlier song by The Smiths with the same title. This is the second time in my life Anselmo has fucked up Pantera. Fuck you you fuckin fuck! Mommy called, not your mommy, Andrea. She called to explain why she gave the Indian lady his number and the only explanation as to why was a series of giggles as if this was a very well played prank. Well played.
We returned with the exclusive Jason Ellis show MMA correspondent Kenda Perez. They talked about fights and fighting and face punching and cutting weight and stuff like that. It was MMAwesome! <- I gave myself a dick punch for that one. They talked about the Super Bowl again and since I already covered that I’m moving on to more important things. A squirrel in the UK got a monster mask stuck on its head and freaked people the fuck out. Also remember that time that Ellis said that if Chad Reed ends the season as the number one moto warlord of forever that he will do something awesome? Well he did and they talked about it. Ellis isn’t sure though if he’ll do a Mui Tai fight or an MMA fight or a skate competition. But no matter what he isn’t going to half ass it and will train and practice and lolbrary.com_54447_1386365376give it his all. Some knob bitched about Swardson being on the show Friday. I agree with the point the guys made, who gives a fuck who is on or how often as long as it’s entertaining. If you don’t like it, don’t listen. Speaking of whiney ass bitches, Opie was bitching about the birthday barbecue bash. Bunch of knobs. Phillip Seymour Hoffman died. In case you haven’t been on Twitter or Facebook or are breathing. It’s fucked up not because he overdosed but because he left his kids. Tully made the point that short term gratification is often perceived as a mistake while long term gratifications are often cherished. And on such wise and inspiring words I bring you this, Beiber skateboarding on dance floor. Ellis farted on the cat and Katie heard but it’s okay because it’s funny. Its the rule, if its gross its okay, but only if its funny or on video or both

Hollywood and the world is rocked with the allegations that Call Of The Wildman (turtle man) may be fake! But more shocking and completely real is Ellis Jeopardy! And what might end up rocking the world of millions, Dingo was the winner. The show was ended with some dude complaining about getting his poopie poked, a girl wanting to know how to get her poopie poked more, and some dude mumbling something about cookies. Next time he should try getting yer mum off his face before he calls, OH!

Show Re-cap For Friday 1/4/2013

Apparently when you lived in three countries and used to be a professional skateboarder and are a radio host, you can get all confused and shit. But it’s Friday and instead of getting confused it’s best to just not give a fuck and keep pushing forward to the weekend. You know what else is confusing? Swedish Fish, which were made by the Swedish who also love the Swedish Fist. Take my advise and be sure you don’t get the two mixed up. Fun fact of the day, Pigmy people eat other people and then shrink their heads. Its true, I did some fact checking and after that bullshit I just posted it anyway. Ellis and Rawdog got into a deep discussion about moto and the upcoming race. After the in depth analysis of Chad Reed, Vilipoto, Kawasaki, KTM, and what ever other stuff they were talking about, Ellis said that you can get a discount tickets for The Nuclear Cowboys in Ontario California by using the promo code, ELLIS. Then there was more moto talk. But more importantly, don’t miss EllisMania 8 1/2 this Saturday!

In Hollywood News the Twilight star Bronson Pelletier was arrested. Apparently airports don’t like it when you do this. Russle Crowe is getting shit for singing in Le Miserable, Lil Wayne got “Baked” tattooed in his face, Vern Troyer was photographed riding a pony, Ozzy might get an airport in Birmingham England named after him, Reddragons. Samuel Jackson tried to gat a reporter to say the N-

get along really really little doggie

get along really really little doggie

word, Snoop Dogg thinks his kids haven’t tried smoking pot yet, and the Hollywood News Queen, Lindsay Lohan has been evicted from her Hollywood mansion. A caller told the guys about a little league fight among the parents in Columbus Georgia, and here’s another one from Colorado. Ellis almost got his knob bit off by his puppy, Burger. Bad dog, very very bad dog. dog-dildo

A stripper in Cleveland did a never before done spin maneuver called the “Throw yourself off a balcony and die.” This story kicked off Women Am I Right? with special guest, Burt McCracken. Some chick called her ex-boyfriend over 700 times a day then ran over his mom. A pair of beaver eaters are trying to get a sperm donor to pay them child support for the load in a jar he gave them. Burt and the guys talked about the usual rock start stuff, sex, drugs, music, barf, skin tags, dicks, you know, the usual. The biggest breakthrough to come from this interview was the Burt is planning on moving to Australia, he hasn’t told his band yet. Then Will came in with his trademark game, ummm, I’m not sure what its called so we can just call it Will’s Topic Game. This brought up a lot of great discussions and opinions and I highly recommend listening to the repla….oh wait, never mind  But take it from me, you should have heard it, it was great!

Hey_Ladies_-_Bill_ClintonTully read a story about how former President Clinton lost the codes to launch the nukes for a couple weeks while he was in office. But who really want to launch missiles while your getting your knob slobbed by interns. Monsanto is making a genetically modified cucumber that will make your pubes fall out. Or your ass hair, depending on where you put it. There was another game that was attempted. The callers had to call in and make an animal sound and Ellis had to guess the animal. Sounds simple enough, except that almost all the callers are idiots. For example, one guy made a sound like a pig that was fighting with a dog in a pool of swamp moss, turn out that was yer mum calling and she dropped the phone in her lap, OH!