Monthly Archives: July 2012

Show Re-cap For Monday 7/16/2012

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DanOD5 getting his interview on after some thuggery

Holy shit, I’m still reeling from @DanOD5 winning his fights! That had to of been one of the bigger surprises that night, I think, maybe, or maybe not. I dunno. I know I was floored. Rawdog officiated a marriage between two lesbians while they were in Vegas, and according to Cullen, he then promptly started trying to sleep with one of them but he got cock blocked by smooth operator Jude. Or maybe it was just the massive zit embryo he had festering on his face. Ellis couldn’t take it anymore and cut the umbilical cord on that sucker for him today on the show. After knocking Gay Bruediger out in the second round, while Ellis was celebrating his victory, he got a little surprise. He got kicked in the leg by Forrest Griffin and then Mayhem got him really good in the knee and fucked up his PCL. Congratulations on your win, now find a wheelchair and fill up on the pain meds! I guess that’s how some MMA guys like to congratulate each other.

MMA Sasquatch lurking and rubbing his jerky in the background

Dingo started one of the rounds in his fight on the top turnbuckle, what a fucking champ! Both he and Danny (not OD5) had been drinking before & during their fight and mysteriously after their fight, there was a vomit trail leading down a set of stairs. I’m guessing that could have been a combination of Jack Daniels, being out of breath, and getting socked in the stomach by MMA Sasquatch. Ellis was awarded the MVP trophy and promptly gave it to @FaceplantLauren and @Shanwize1 for their epic battle in the ring during the “Humongous Bitch” fight, in which Lauren won. By most accounts, it was the best fight of the night and deserving of the MVP trophy. And now seems like a good time to give you a re-cap of the rest of the fights and the winners: Cumtard defeated @shit_toboggan, @Dutch_RDS ended up winning the blindfold shock collar fight, some dude dressed as a belly dancer beat out @Cogdeth in the musical chair fight, and @TheRealRubyR defeated Rawdog.

Mayhem Bot making his rap debut with Death! Death! Die!

Apparently Mayhem was pretty blasted after the fights, but I guess he deserved it after his performance the previous night at the Death! Death! Die! concert. Tully said there were quite a few people who said that was probably the best show the band has put on. So congratulations to everybody in the band as well as the guest stars, everybody in the bikini contest from Friday, and everybody that participated in the fights on Saturday night! And shout out to all the other peeps who got to go to Vegas to experience EllisMania 8 in person! Even though the entire weekends worth of shows put on by EllisMania were probably wicked sick yo, I’m willing to bet if you were to ask everyone who went “what was the best part”, most would answer “meeting everyone” – but since I didn’t go, I can only speculate. At any rate, I’m glad to see you all had fun and all (or most all) have made it home safe sound. I mean shit, just think of how horrible it would be if something bad had happened to you there? Who knows, maybe you would’ve never gotten the chance to kiss your mom’s jizz covered face ever again. OH!

EllisFam Interviews

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I have asked for the EllisFam to do a small 8 question interview so that we may get to know one another and how The Jason Ellis Show has changed or impacted our lives. These are their reply’s, unedited and all in their own words. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do, and thank you to everyone who participated. Without you all this wouldn’t be possible.

Sleepy Joe (@sleepyjoe_RDS)

  1. Where do you live? Port Orford, Oregon
  2. What is your occupation? Stay at home father
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. I am a disabled commercial fisherman/ranch hand.  Married to a most excellent lady, and have two amazing daughters. Spend most of my time trying to make a positive impact on the Ellis family.
  4.  How long have you listened to TJES? I have been listening to Jason Ellis’s Show since late 07 early 08
  5.  How did you discover TJES?I discovered the show driving a friend of mine to his dialysis, would sit in the parking lot listening to Satellite radio, and changed to faction (cause I love the mix of music they put on) and is was the start of the show. Was hooked instantly cause I see eye to eye with most of the points that the whole crew makes not just Ellis.
  6.  What keeps you listening to TJES? I will always listen to the show, one because my debt to ellis, tully, Shoebox, and even Rawdog. The mix of all those personalities and opinions make the show what it is.
  7.  Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? They have helped me through so much…relapse of addiction to old habits, making a change to battle my ailments such as Anorexia, PTSD, and epliepsy. I gave up right around the same time I fought in Ellismania 4, I was 5 weeks out of open abdomen surgery when I fought, because I gave my word to be in the fight, was against the doctors advice.  Stupid Idea cause I had 4 surgeries when I got back from Vegas. Since that experience I have made the 100% effort to change all this stuff for the better.
  8.  Is there anything else you would like to share? The Jason Ellis show is a much needed impact in the world we live in, to many of us skate rats, troubled youths grown up need someone that understands that kind of life situations. The duty of the Ellisfamily is to spread the word and the show anyway they can, but only for the right reasons.

 

Twisted Trucker (@tank_yanker)

Well, I was expecting a few crazy questions, like favorite position, which hand do you wipe with, describe your O face… But here goes..

  1. Where do you live? I live in central Ontario, commonly called cottage country up here. (Because of all the lakes and trees and shit)..
  2. What is your occupation? I’ve been an owner/operator for 20 years driving a truck. Before all that, I was an industrial millwright, welder/fitter, jack of all trades type. Finally fed up with fucktards in management at one end, and babysitting dummies that failed basic math at the other.. So I shit canned the whole thing, bought a truck, and never looked back.. (What the hell was I thinking)…
  3. Tell me a little about yourself.
  4. How long have you listened to TJES? Been a steady listener of TJES about 4 years.
  5. How did you discover TJES? and pretty much knew of Ellis when the Red Dragons started fucking with Bubba (BTLS) which was funny as shit, so I started to catch his shows then. Been hooked ever since..
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? That’s an easy one!. WTF is gonna happen today?
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? Since listening to the show, and signing up on twitter, the first few people I started following was @AZ_RedDragon, @bitpimps , and @mike_in_canada. Since hooking up with these fuckwits, its expanded to a lot of people in the #EllisFam, and that started my slow roll into hell… But at least I’ll be laughing my ass off when I hit the hot stuff!! Which brings us to…
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? Just so you all know, I genuinely care for each and every one of you, and anytime I can help out, I’m happy to try. I’ve met a lot of stand up people through the #EllisFam, (and some crazy bastids too!). You all really help me get through the miles, and I appreciate you taking the time to be smart asses with me all day! *all this written at 60mph. Yeah, I can multi task like a mofo..* *some names have been changed to protect the innocent*.. **wait!..none of you are innocent** never mind.. carry on…

If you would like to be apart of the EllisFam Interviews, please contact me (@Az_RedDragon) through twitter and I will send the interview to you.



Ellismania 8 Results – 7/14/12

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EM8_15

Musical Chair Fight: Belly Dancer (?) defeats Ballerina (@Cogdeth) via split decision in the final.

Hot Dog vs. Taco: Hot Dog (@KevinKraftSucks AKA Cumtard) defeats Taco (@shit_toboggan) via TKO.

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Big Bitch Fight: Lauren (@FacePlantLauren) defeats Shantanee (@Shanwize1) via split decision in a brutal fight.

Blindfolded Shock Collar Fight: ‘Dutch’ (@Dutch_RDS) is declared the winner.

Rawdog vs. Ruby Renegade: Ruby (@TheRealRubyR) defeats Rawdog (@RadioTFB) in a controversial unanimous decision.

Dan vs. Alicia: Dan (@DanOD5) defeated Alicia (@AliciaLeii ). After 3 rounds ‘The Incredible Hulk’ (@possiblyTully) entered the ring and Dan defeated Tully!

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Danny vs. Dingo One-Armed Fight: Danny (@Dannykass) & Dingo (@theDingoinsnow) both declared winners.

Jason Ellis vs. Gabe Ruediger: Jason (@Ellismate) defeats Gabe (@gaberuediger) via 2nd Round KO!

Jason Ellis is also declared the Ellismania 8 MVP and wins the MVP trophy. Jason passes it off to the ‘Big Bitches’ for their epic fight.

Thanks to @Drklrdbill for tracking the results and all the fans on twitter that provided photos.

Show Re-cap For Friday 7/13/2012

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Danny O’Donnell vs Alicia Leii

Welp. It’s Friday the 13th, and a lot of you lucky mofo’s are already in Vegas for EllisMania 8. Nobody even invited me. So here I sit, writing a re-cap for your asses, clicking furiously on tweets tagged with #EM8, and getting my box of tissues ready for the bikini contest. But guess what? I lied to you guys again today. But it was a good lie, I swear it! I started shouting out @emilyinSD, @tank_yanker, & @mike_in_canada, claiming it was all of their birthdays. I saw several re-tweets and happy birthday wishes flying. It was glorious! Even though it may not have been their birthdays, just think of how good you made them feel by wishing them one! And guess what, you made my day that much more awesome too by perpetuating my lie! I’ve told you before, I’m a pretty fucked up individual. So see, it wasn’t a bad lie. We got to hear the usual suspects being introduced at the start of the show from Vegas. @DanOD5 turned up as JagerBeard, already drunk and high and sitting on Uncle Mayhem’s lap and semi-chubbed up. And that’s when the real JagerBeard came on the scene to take a large shot of Jager and it sounded like he almost hurled.

Dead Acid Cunt vs Some Hot Readhead in the “Yo Momma Round”

Weigh-ins sounded pretty hysterical with Alicia pushing Dan around and Rawdog telling Ruby that he’s ready to kick her 111 pound ass. Gay Bruediger weighed in at 190 pounds while Ellis weighed in at 198 – let’s just keep in mind that Mayhem was working the scales. Gay started acting a fool almost immediately and ended up threatening to beat up Tully and Rawdog if they played the Jingleberries song about him for his walkout music. There was a quick “Doing stuff with Rawdog” segment, which is always a pleasure to hear and very informative, especially the “how to put on a condom correctly” and “how to insert a tampon correctly” pieces.

Bikini contest winner showing one of her techniques

Rawdog’s go to foreplay move is “necking” and aggressively playing with “titties”, I’m ready for love just typing that shit. The bikini contest was next up on the list of show segments, there were 10 fine ladies who entered the contest and was almost widdled down to 9 after one of the contestants flashed her titties at the crowd. After security talked to her and saw her tits up close, she was allowed to stay and the competition continued. The entire contest was broadcast for free, in streaming HD on Ellismania.com. Shout out to Dead Acid Cunt (@freedrose) for being the runner up and Dead Acid Balls (@hendro9364) for banging that shit!

Your mom’s motto

The remainder of the time was spent with Ellis walking through the crowd taking final calls from fans in the crowd. There were quite a few people who apparently purchased their Wolfknives membership at the show, and they all got their gang names. Mayhem will be debuting his newest career skills tonight as a rapper, and I’m guessing Katie is getting banged in the butt later in the night. And that pretty much wraps up this re-cap, I hope everyone in Vegas for EllisMania 8 is having a great time and staying frosty! I have one last question for you. You know how sometimes when you see really, really, morbidly obese people and you aren’t sure if they’re a man or a woman? Wait, of course you do – you’ve seen your mom lots. OH!

EllisFam Interviews

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I have asked for the EllisFam to do a small 8 question interview so that we may get to know one another and how The Jason Ellis Show has changed or impacted our lives. These are their reply’s, unedited and all in their own words. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do, and thank you to everyone who participated. Without you all this wouldn’t be possible.

MICHAEL SORIA (@Butterballs_EM6)

  1. Where do you live? Yo yo yo check it. Dis be the 1 the only Mike Soria AKA BUTTERBALLS. Coming to you live from Cerritos California where I was raised.
  2. What is your occupation? I’m a self employed professional driver,a Transporter if you will. Like Jason Statham but I have hair and drive a van.
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I aint fakin I love clay aikin and teddy bears… oh wait I mean I skateboard and used to play drums in a punk band. I’m more mellow these days, until Ellismania comes around. Then I party and punch someone in De’face.
  4. How long have you listened to TJES? I’ve been listening to TJES since he was on tuesdays and thursdays I think. Pretty much since he got his own show or dj set I guess. I just remember catching the show on once in a while.
  5. How did you discover TJES? I followed Howard Stern over to satellite radio and everyday when I was done listening to his show I’d switch to Faction. Once in a while I’d hear this dude with an accent talking about chicks and skateboarding and just being funny saying whatever.
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? Taking phone calls from idiots telling him to say “That’s not a knife”. I fuckn loved it! Once I figured out TJES had a regular schedule I found myself getting pissed every time i forget to tune in. So I set an alarm. For me TJES is the best show to listen to. It really helps me get through the workday. I liked Howard a lot but Ellis is more my style. I’m 31 yrs old. Still consider myself a Howard fan but hardly listen anymore.
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? I feel TJES has changed the way I look at life. In a good way. Until I heard Jason telling his life experiences, I wasn’t really thinking about what I was doing. Just living day to day boring as shit. “YOU GOTTA LIVE YOUR LIFE! DO AS MUCH AS YOU CAN BEFORE YOU DIE CUZ YOU AINT GETTIN IT BACK AFTER ITS GONE.” Ellis is like all my best friends in one. He was a Pro Skateboarder, I dreamed of being a Pro Skateboarder. He partied, I partied. That’s why I liked the show, because I could relate to him.
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? I was the only volunteer that showed up to be in the DeCockathon (the dick olympics) on a Friday morning show and competed against the man himself. I lost the competition but gained some respect from the listeners and Ellis. Later that year I entered the 1st ever Musical Chairs Fight at Ellis Mania 6. I put on a show earning the name Butterballs and won the title. Since then I’ve been on the show a few times doing stupid funny shit like Disco Balls and Mexican Shock Collar Arm Wrestling with @FonzoBlunt even though I’m not Mexican. I’m Peruvian. There was one time on the show that I was grossed out and kinda felt violated. It was when Ellis lost a game and had to tongue dart my belly. I thought it was funny until I felt his tongue in my belly. I almost puked! Anyway now I’m in a movie with Ellis, Mayhem, Dingo and other awesome people.
    I love the show and hope it never gets old because wtf else am I supposed to listen to. TJES IS SECOND TO NONE! PEACE OUT! DON’T DIE!

Shoutout to @bitPimps and @AZ_RedDragon
Thanks to everyone who supports the show! You guys are Awesome!

中Casey Beckman中 (@CBKAZI)

  1. Where do you live? Bend Oregon
  2. What is your occupation? I bid and draw jobs for a steel fabrication shop.
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. In the past two years my life has almost mirrored Jasons. Got divorced, had substance issues, saw ups saw downs but have come out of it stronger and better than ever before! I live everyday for my daughter Halo, who is truly a gardian angel in my eyes!
  4. How long have you listened to TJES? I have followed Jason from is hearly years in skateboarding, I use to work in a few differant skate shops. Actually listening on a daily basis has to be at least going on 4-5 years now.
  5. How did you discover TJES? Cruzin through XM and heard this crazy old skateboarder had a show…
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? You just never know what is going to happen next!
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? The show has done allot for my self esteem and taught me allot about being a “man” (like a stand up kinda guy) 
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? I can believe how many times I made plans to just GO to an Ellismania, and now that I finally am going, I actually get to fight! All I can say is this fight is going out to my daughter, and the fans! I’m in there swingin for all of you!

If you would like to be apart of the EllisFam Interviews, please contact me (@Az_RedDragon) through twitter and I will send the interview to you.