Monthly Archives: May 2012

Show Re-cap For Thursday 5/31/2012

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Weclome to the Dog Center Re-Cap, and now its over. Back to the Jason Ellis Show re-cap. This re-cap is dedicated to the Ellis Show that was dedicated to Clint “Toughest Mother Fucker Alive” Eastwood who turned 82 today, happy birthday you bad ass mother fucker. Ellis let Devin play hookey for half a day to go to the beach and had an awesome time. Makes you remember that days like that stick with a kid forever, thats the first lesson. The second lesson is that pearls make oysters and are the strongest man who is scared, or somethin like that. Blame Tully. West Coast Customs hasn’t called Jason back yet and hes a little nervous but between you and me, I have a little insite on the A6K!

In the news, a woman caused a 30 minute traffic backup when she got out of her car and started vigerously masturbating. I can’t think of a better reason to be late for work. The Biggest Bitch Fight came back today, and after almost an hour of calls, the fight is set. Unfortunatly the names of both contestants were’nt mentioned, but I’m sure it will be a thunderous bout. Will brought in an old segment where Josh is warning about the dangers of robotic sex. It wasn’t bad, it was actually a little hard to tell then from now. But more inportantly, Josh had a second date, AND HE MADE OUT WITH HER! But theyr’e propbably broken up now. The general thought is that MC Bugaboo doesn’t know how to kiss, so Ellis is going to have a contest with Penthouse girls to see who is really better at making out. Secretly though, they just want to make out with hot chicks, don’t tell Penthouse.

There was more Canibal news, yum, and there’s going to be a jet ski party at whichever lake that Big Fucking Mega Boat will be filmed at. Final calls were rather good today, a gal called in saying that Ellis is an inspiration to her due to her horrific childhood and that she is greatful for making her laugh. But on the other end of the spectrum, Traniville Lector called in and was quite bland, slow, and rather disturbing which is a great way to end the show, and this re-cap. But it was nice of yor hairy bushed, flat chested, vagina slurping mom to call in, OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 5/30/2012

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Hot chicks here, hot chicks there, but there are no hot chicks around you. Why, you ask? Because according to Rawdog there is only about 2,000 girls that rate a 10 in the entire world and chances are you don’t know her. Don’t fel bad, neither do I.  The big announcement yesterday was about the indoor truck series and how awesome it is going to be. Its like truck racing and moto had a bastard child and fed it Red Bulls. The talk turned to NASCAR and Jason, Tully, and Josh don’t seem to understand its popularity, but two million beer drinkin, burger eatin, Camel smokin americans can’t be wrong. And hockey, that too, except its Canadian and I don’t know what Canadians smoke. But non the less, they’re both great to have an ice cold brew to. Cheers.

Today was also the delayed New Music Tuesday, you can guess how that went, some good, some fucking aweful. I would go into more detail but that would mean I would have to remember it and living through it once was enough. Theres a new call screener, again. It appears we will have a new one every day this week, what fun. There was a new game played today also, The Ultimate Phone Caller! This is where two callers pretend to fight one another MMA style and pretend to win the pretend fight. It goes to show you that even lame bits that don’t really work can end up being funny.

Today was also Worlds Greatest Wednesday, and the topic was Worlds Richest Person Whos Face You’d Like To Punch, or something like that. And heres your list:

10.  I forget

9.  I missed it

8. I dont know

7. Sarah Jessicah Parker

6. Thom Yorke

5. Donald Trump (maybe)

4. Steven Seagal

3. Donald Trump (again, maybe)

2. Chad Kroeger

1. Eli Manning

And that is your Worlds Greatest Wednesday, sort of. Moving on, has a cross dressing scarf wearing pig on the loose, Affliction needs to go away, even the girls agree, Tapout is still cool, and the final callers weren’t too bad, suprisingly.

I apologise for some of the things I missed in this re-cap, the mobil app on my phone kept losing the data connection and I’m pretty sure it was because your moms ginormous gunt was blocking the 3G signal as she layed int he sun, OH!

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 5/29/2012

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If your reading this its because your one of the cool kids and just so you know, being cool is cool, so be cool to stay cool and then were all cool. Before the show Ellis spent some time on the beach where he met a crab. Now this was apparently no ordinary crab, this was a moto crab and he had many questions about Vilipoto. Why a crab would care escapes me but hell, if i found a talking crab I would probably try to aswer all the questions he had. Jude came in today and gave us some very great advise, NEVER take Cialis and Ecstacy at the same time. It might seem like a good idea, but according to Jude, your heart will probably blast out of your chest. Also on more drug educating news, don’t eat fruit while on Cialis. I don’t know why but this one guy that my buddies brother knew did and he died. There, thats all the proof you need.

Canada has severed feet popping up everywhere, this time it was mailed. Great job on suppying the show with material Canada, keep up the good work. There is a new call screener and so far today he has done a fine job, there was a drastic decrease in shitty phone calls today. He currently is being called The Navarro, but I expect that to change shortly because there can only be one Navarro, and only one. The main test today was when the guys played Dude Am I A Slut, and I must say that the FNG did just fine. The first call was a Tranny, but then it happened. The DAIAS call that all other calls will be measured upon, Jennifer. Jennifer apparently was on a 7 day cruise and fucked 6 guys not counting her boyfriend who was with her, and 2 of which were a threesome with her girlfriend. Congratulations Jennifer you slut of all sluts.

Jessie Johnson was in the studio today to promote his new energy drink, Speed. He talked about racing, and he announced that there is an announcement. An 81 year old woman almost died skydiving, and a naked man in Florida got shot by police because he was eating another mans face. Tumble Bum doesn’t like potatoe slad be cause it, “is still a salad” which made everybody stop what they were doing as say, what the fuck? And finally Uncle Mayhem came in today and said that he was relieved that he is no longer in the UFC. It feels like a weight has been lifted off of him. He will continue to train his other team mates and I have a good feeling that Mayhem will still be around the UFC one way or another.  Did you know that you had a brother? No? It turns out that your moms pussy was so hairy when he was born, that he died of rugburns, OH!

Katie Gilbert, movie star? – 5/24/12

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A caller phoned in to “out” Katie as a movie star. It’s true, she had a small role in “The Boys and Girls Guide to Getting Down”. It’s on Netflix streaming if anyone is inclined to watch, but I’ve provided screen caps of the majority of her on-screen time.

katie


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