Tag Archives: Thomas Haden Church

Show Re-cap For Monday 5/14/2012

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So, sounds like I wasn’t the only one who had bad dreams last night. Ellis dreamed about the shit he did to his ex-wife, but she was doing it to him. And I dreamed about this weird lady that had melted flesh, wore a weird flesh mask, was part alien, peeled off a piece of her flesh mask and it bounced off the wall and floor into my mouth and was choking me to death. Fuckin weird, right? Speaking of fuckin weird, Sam Rubin (@samontv) from KTLA was on the show today. As you may or may not know, Ellis was on the morning KTLA and Reelz Hollywood Uncensored shows several weeks ago, and this time around they talked about Kelly LeBrock – the hot chick from the movie Weird Science. Yes, that one, from the mid 1980’s, and yes, she’s like 52 now. Just sayin’. She actually called into the fucking show while he was on air, so that seems pretty promising, I’d love to hear her interviewed by Ellis. Sam sure had a shitload to say, we’re talking 2 hours worth, he talks quick, had stories about Stern, Mel Gibson, and all kinds of entertainment industry gossip shit that I just couldn’t give two shits about – but if you’re into that stuff, it was probably a really good interview. He seemed like an alright guy and like he really enjoys and knows a lot about what he does.

Dingo was going to be on the show today, but he got some teeth removed at the dentists today so he was sore and didn’t think he’d be any good today – understandable. Some dude almost hit the Church of Haden’s Porsche, and by “hit” it seems it was more like “plow”, which I’m sure freaked Ellis out being that he’s borrowing THC’s ride. Funny enough, THC was listening to the show today and heard all the stories about his car almost getting crushed. He also commented about Sam’s interview and how candid and non-bullshit he is when interviewing actors & actresses for movies that are trash. Rawdog has a learning disability that he’s conveniently forgotten about, a non-verbal learning disorder, like reverse dyslexia. He read off a list of shit that it affects, and pretty much everything he listed applies to him. On a related note, doctors also found a new type of super virus that seems to be quickly spreading and so far there is no cure. It’s known as Y-MIG, or Your Mommy’s Infected Gash, and sure enough – you got it. OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 5/3/2012

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What else can I say but, its almost Friday.  Not quite but close, so don’t get your hopes up, there’s still one day left.  At least today was one of the best shows I’ve heard in a while.  The decades long debate on how old is too old to date was discussed and Ellis decided that any age is appropriate as long as you like the other person.  This is a noble stance but I still follow the “half your age plus seven” rule.  Jason talked about his appearance on Hollywood Uncensored and revealed that he had sweaty palms and had butterflies in his stomach. However he said that everyone was nice and he is starting to know more and more TV people. The Hollywood take over is imminent.

Ellis has only a few days left with Thomas Hayden Church’s Porsche and decided that he needs to try and pick up chicks while filming.  As expected the EllisFam came through like champs.  I was laughing way too hard and there were way too many pickup lines to write them all down.  I will just say good job to those who participated.  We were, umm, granted with a game from the entertaining MumTard.  Contestants had to guess the Mumtarded Movie in MumTards Mumtarded Movie Collection. Damn, after writing that I might need a helmet.  The game was a smash success and hopefully we will see MumTard back again in the future, just as soon as the get the smell out of the studio and the stains off the chair. And Dan the Man had exchanged some heated words with Alicia.  Actually I should say Alicia talked shit on Dan while he just cowered in the corner and piddled himself.  I don’t see things going well for him at Ellismania, but we can all hope that as Dan gets his ass handed to him the crowd will be treated with a possible wardrobe malfunction from the beautifully busty Alicia.

And finally, what we have all been waiting for, WORLDS GREATEST WEDNESDAY  THURSDAY!  Today’s topic was Worlds Hottest Hollywood Milf.  There were some great contenders and the top 10 went as so:

10.  Milla Jovovich

9.  Kelly Rippa

8.  Sofia Vergara

7.  Belladonna

6.  Salma Hayek

5.  Mini Driver

4.  Gisele Bundchen

3.  DanOD5’s Mom

2.  Jessica Alba

1.  Britney Spears

Your Mom was also nominated for this list, but unfortunately she got a total of 0 votes.  Coincidentally that’s the same number of call backs she got after her many hours of pleasing dock workers.  Even MumTard, who got 1 vote by the way, said, “YOUR MOM BIGGER SLAM PIG THAN MUMTARD, OH!”

 

 

Show Re-cap For Monday 4/30/2012

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Hello people. I trust you had a good weekend? It’s Monday, and Ellis has been driving Thomas Haden Church’s Porsche over the weekend and also got charged $1000 big ones for bleeding all over his hotel room. Ellis’ mom forgot his kids’ birthdays again this year, what an awesome grandmother! That bit of information lead into a little tirade about his past family issues he’s currently dealing with. The @Jingleberries made more gold today when the new @DanOD5’s Mom tunes were revealed. They’re amazing so be sure to check bookhockey.com for when those songs get posted. There was quite a bit of talk about motorists, and bicyclists – so uh, you know, don’t bike or drive like a dickface.

Mayhem was on the show today and did a little bit of radio by himself, as you might imagine, it was a disaster. He basically told a story about going camping over the weekend. There almost seems to be something a little more than friendly “ribbing” going on between Ellis and Mayhem. It sometimes feels like when two really good and long-time friends start purposely annoying each other and both kind of keep tossing these “fuck you” jabs into their conversations. Although, shortly after the Mayhem radio hour and Ellis came back in to save him, everything seemed to be fine and pretty normal – as normal can be anyway.

Rawdog went to his new roomies birthday party over the weekend. About a week ago, he also started to suspect his new roommate was gay after seeing one of his bands’ videos on the Internet. The birthday party was the confirmation after his friends seemed to be clearly gay and then a guy started to talk to Rawdog more than the other guys and got a little touchy feely – literally, touching his arm and such. They all went out for food and got drunk, then everyone went to go clubbing and Rawdog went home, once they got back home, they had some more shots and then there was a slumber party. o_O Now, let me tell you about the first time I met your mother. She was shopping at the grocery store and put the following items in her basket: One dozen large eggs, One pound of Swiss cheese, One box of brownie mix, One twelve pack of soda, Two pounds of coffee, One gallon of whole milk. While placing the items on the conveyor belt at the checkout, I calmly said,”You must be single.” She looked at her food items on the counter and saw nothing unusual about her purchase that could have informed me that she was single. Curiously, she said “Yes, you’re right. But how in the world did you know that?” I replied, “‘Because you’re ugly.” And then I banged her in the ass with the grocery bag over her head. OH!

Show Re-cap For Friday 4/27/2012

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It’s Friday my neutral milky mother love boners, let’s make it gooder than shit, shall we? Tully was talking about how, thanks to Sirius XM, he’s been listening to genres of music that were popular in the late 80’s and early 90’s that he wouldn’t have normally been into – being a metal guy back then. I don’t know about you guys, but I can totally relate to that as in the past several months I’ve been channel surfing and found myself liking the Backspin channel, among others. Ronald Schultz took back his Aprilia motorcycle that he lent to Ellis, so that’s probably for the best considering how crazy Ellis is. But not to worry, because Ellis will be getting Thomas Hayden Church’s super Porsche to drive around for a little bit. And Surprise, Rawdog doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground – today he called the top of a skateboard the “front” and the bottom he called the “back”, and claimed that one of the boards had some “cool wood siding” on it. How can you not just absolutely love this guy?

A tranny wants to go out with Rawdog, he’s cool with everything except that whole “she has a dick” thing – I can respect that. If he’s still in his sexual slump at the age of forty, he’d probably let a tranny blow him though. Rawdog drank some of that kava that Jude brought in yesterday. This is surprising because apparently it doesn’t taste that great, and knowing how Rawdog doesn’t like anything but chicken nuggets, burgers, and chocolate, the surprise is that he drank it all. @DaniKalifornia had posted a picture of some massive BatWing (Warning: fucked up pussy lips ahead) to Ellis and I had decided to share an equally disturbing picture (Warning: vacuumed vag) as well. Turns out I ended up flinching Rawdog and a few others by it, which was totally unintentional – but also fucking awesome! The conversation naturally turned to Rawdog’s nipple jacking technique, which seems to be quite intricate as nobody really knows how to properly jack their own nipples off.

The Cum Challenge winner was announced today, although there were a lot of little po-dunk places that didn’t even have a major airport near them, this Heidi chick near San Francisco won. Heidi is married, but her husband doesn’t have to be there when Ellis show’s up, get what I’m sayin’ here? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. It was actually a bit funny because it sounded like she wanted Tully there maybe a little more than Ellis. That mean’s Heidi has most likely masturbated in the shower while thinking of Tully and his wit. Tully and Rawdog also setup a contest for the show today, “Who can cum faster”. Apparently they’ve both gone on the Internet in search of videos of men and women who climax very quickly. Listening to the audio only, really makes this segment fucking weird because your mind just can’t help but to make up images in your head to go along with the sounds.

The guys brought back the “Dude is it gay?” segment today after about a years hiatus. Some dude has a “friend” (we’ll call him Mr. X) who always asks his other guy friends to shave his balls. DING! Another guy met some Canadian dude off Craigslist who wanted him to come over, jerk-off and cum on his face for $80. So he put on some porn, got hard, started jerking it, creepy guy gets down on his knees in front of him and leaned back to receive the load on his face. My wife started yapping at me about something or another so I don’t know what the verdict was, but I’m just gonna go ahead make my own executive call here and… DING! Another dude woke up with morning wood poking out of his boxers and his friend said “good morning” and shook his penis like you would shake hands. Not gay, the “shaker” was like a daredevil comedian. Next caller said he couldn’t get off on just chicks in porn, he has to see penis penetrating “virgina”. I feel like that one has been asked before, but still, not gay. Next guy asked if it were gay to taste his own cum. The verdict was not gay.

Rawdog was forced to choose between getting a leg kick, or jacking off Ellis’ nips – so the obvious decision was to jack off nips. I couldn’t imagine how erotic that must be, and by erotic I really mean awkward as all fuck. Speaking of which, I remember when it was your mom’s birthday and we setup a few decorations, made a cum cake for her, and then we made sure nobody showed up because she’s just a worthless ditch pig that nobody cares about. OH!