It’s Friday my neutral milky mother love boners, let’s make it gooder than shit, shall we? Tully was talking about how, thanks to Sirius XM, he’s been listening to genres of music that were popular in the late 80’s and early 90’s that he wouldn’t have normally been into – being a metal guy back then. I don’t know about you guys, but I can totally relate to that as in the past several months I’ve been channel surfing and found myself liking the Backspin channel, among others. Ronald Schultz took back his Aprilia motorcycle that he lent to Ellis, so that’s probably for the best considering how crazy Ellis is. But not to worry, because Ellis will be getting Thomas Hayden Church’s super Porsche to drive around for a little bit. And Surprise, Rawdog doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground – today he called the top of a skateboard the “front” and the bottom he called the “back”, and claimed that one of the boards had some “cool wood siding” on it. How can you not just absolutely love this guy?
A tranny wants to go out with Rawdog, he’s cool with everything except that whole “she has a dick” thing – I can respect that. If he’s still in his sexual slump at the age of forty, he’d probably let a tranny blow him though. Rawdog drank some of that kava that Jude brought in yesterday. This is surprising because apparently it doesn’t taste that great, and knowing how Rawdog doesn’t like anything but chicken nuggets, burgers, and chocolate, the surprise is that he drank it all. @DaniKalifornia had posted a picture of some massive BatWing (Warning: fucked up pussy lips ahead) to Ellis and I had decided to share an equally disturbing picture (Warning: vacuumed vag) as well. Turns out I ended up flinching Rawdog and a few others by it, which was totally unintentional – but also fucking awesome! The conversation naturally turned to Rawdog’s nipple jacking technique, which seems to be quite intricate as nobody really knows how to properly jack their own nipples off.
The Cum Challenge winner was announced today, although there were a lot of little po-dunk places that didn’t even have a major airport near them, this Heidi chick near San Francisco won. Heidi is married, but her husband doesn’t have to be there when Ellis show’s up, get what I’m sayin’ here? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. It was actually a bit funny because it sounded like she wanted Tully there maybe a little more than Ellis. That mean’s Heidi has most likely masturbated in the shower while thinking of Tully and his wit. Tully and Rawdog also setup a contest for the show today, “Who can cum faster”. Apparently they’ve both gone on the Internet in search of videos of men and women who climax very quickly. Listening to the audio only, really makes this segment fucking weird because your mind just can’t help but to make up images in your head to go along with the sounds.
The guys brought back the “Dude is it gay?” segment today after about a years hiatus. Some dude has a “friend” (we’ll call him Mr. X) who always asks his other guy friends to shave his balls. DING! Another guy met some Canadian dude off Craigslist who wanted him to come over, jerk-off and cum on his face for $80. So he put on some porn, got hard, started jerking it, creepy guy gets down on his knees in front of him and leaned back to receive the load on his face. My wife started yapping at me about something or another so I don’t know what the verdict was, but I’m just gonna go ahead make my own executive call here and… DING! Another dude woke up with morning wood poking out of his boxers and his friend said “good morning” and shook his penis like you would shake hands. Not gay, the “shaker” was like a daredevil comedian. Next caller said he couldn’t get off on just chicks in porn, he has to see penis penetrating “virgina”. I feel like that one has been asked before, but still, not gay. Next guy asked if it were gay to taste his own cum. The verdict was not gay.
Rawdog was forced to choose between getting a leg kick, or jacking off Ellis’ nips – so the obvious decision was to jack off nips. I couldn’t imagine how erotic that must be, and by erotic I really mean awkward as all fuck. Speaking of which, I remember when it was your mom’s birthday and we setup a few decorations, made a cum cake for her, and then we made sure nobody showed up because she’s just a worthless ditch pig that nobody cares about. OH!