Welcome To The Pendarvis Grill & Pub!

marlboro_soup

Home style cooking!

So obviously there was no show today. And what happens when we’re all bored because our favorite radio show isn’t live? We find a way to stave off boredom, that’s what we do. So I decided it was time to play a game called #PendarvisAndSides The premise? Wll has died and said we could eat him, so people pitched in ideas for ways to eat Will and the sides that could go along with Will. Like a massive Thanksgiving feast with all sorts of food, anything and everything went. This gave me the idea, with all this food, we needed a menu so people could easily choose what they wanted. Thus, the Pendarvis Grill & Pub was spawned. Thanks to everyone who participated, we now have a menu! Let’s check it out.
* Nutrition chart unavailable.


中 Our Menu 中

Lil’ Will Smokies
Will’s fingers & toes smoked until tender and then lightly cooked in a sweet glaze, served with a mixed fruit and Will eye / testicle salad, topped with crushed pecans and cigarette ashes.

Crispy Wills
Will skin chips, lightly salted, with his ball cheese, sweat, & salsa for dipping

Waistline Will
A small portion of baked, boneless, and skinless Will on a bed of rice pilaf and served with green beans almondine.

Pendarvis BLT
Will bacon cooked to perfection with a hint of maple and Marlboro, lettuce, tomato, and mayonnaise, served with sweet potato fries.

Pulled Pendarvis
Slow smoked (in tobacco), hand pulled Will sandwich with chipotle mayonnaise and pickle slices, served with baked beans and cantaloupe.

Slick Willy
Pendarvis confit served with deviled eggs and a pack of your choice from Philip Morris.

Southern Pendarvis
Thick slices of Pendarvis roast served with candied yams and collard greens.

Will Medallions
Will medallions smothered in gravy and topped with melted provolone cheese, served with potatoes au gratin.

Tender Pendar
Fresh cuts of Will dry rubbed and slow smoked for 24 hours, served with mashed potatoes and corn on the cob.

Welfare Will
A generous portion of mac-n-cheese with sliced pieces of all beef Will, served with a deep fried Twinkie.

Rack O’ Pendarvis
A half rack of Pendarvis spare ribs, served with coleslaw and cornbread.

Pendarvis Panini
Tender pieces of Will with an assortment of fresh peppers, onions, melted cheese, and a shiny shin salad.

Alabama Fried Will
Breaded & fried Will breasts, served with mashed potatoes & gravy and a biscuit.

Heil Pendarvis
Willwurst with sour kraut, served on a lightly toasted bun with a dab of spicy mustard.

Smoked Pendarvis
Tender, slow smoked cut of Will meat, served with coleslaw and beans.

Yippee Ki Willay Burger
Will burger cooked to perfection, topped with onion strings, and with your choice of cheese, and condiments, served with onion rings.

Sweet Home Alabama, Will’s Bad Mama Jama
Deep fried Pendarvis shins with crispy onions and home fries.

Pendarvis Plantation Special
Smoked Will hocks served with collard greens.

Fancy Pants Pendarvis
Bacon wrapped 6 or 9 ounce filet of Will, served with roasted garlic mashed potatoes and grilled asparagus.

Hairless Sir Pendarvis
A tender cut of Will sirloin steak, served with chemotherapy.

Sign Your Will
Our famous PenChowder.

Ballpark Pendarvis
Smokey Will dogs topped with crumbled bacon bits, served with potato salad.

Handy Willy
Will’s meaty hands fried to perfection in his own belly fat and served with gravy.

Rise ‘N Regret
Eggs Willy cooked to order, served with hashbrowns, bacon, champaign and orange juice, and a lifetime of regret.

Struck Match
Your choice of Pendarvis and waffles or Pendarvis scrapple with eggs, topped with ketchup and tobacco spit.

中 Desserts 中

Deep fried Twinkie, pecan pie, bread pudding, and cupcakes with brown frosting.

中 Beverages 中

Pepto-Bismol, Iced Tea, Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew, and Mountain Dew.


fuck_you_pie

Try our hair pies! Contains 100% fruit and Pendarvis pubic hair!

Thanks to: @TwistedMetalFab, @shit_toboggan, @emilyinSD, @eastcoasttully, @Cody_McCraw92, @sharkchucker, @mike_in_canada, @J_Chappel, @Truk_Norris, @Scarlet_Kitty, @willfromcowtown, @thegooser, @mighty_boognish, @CrackerStacker6, and of course me, @bitPimps, because I’m an attention whore!

The Jingleberries Will Make You Famous, Or Look Fucktarded (Part 4)

Remember when The Jingleberries put out a call for recordings? Well, we’re doing a 4th round that we can send off for The Jingleberries to work their magic on, while we sit back and hope it gets played on the air. Like these previous rejoins!

Allegedly Official Awesome Original Shawshank Redemption

Women of EllisFam Rejoin

There was another rejoin that made the cut, but we don’t have a recording of it. If you do, please send it to us!


Round 4

Fuck Your Face (by: emilyinSD)

Welcome Back (by: tank_yanker)

Get The Cock Off Your Chest, Motherfucker (by: tank_yanker)

Urinal Dream (by: AZ_RedDragon)

Testicles (by: serutti)

Get Out (by: sharkchucker)

Sarcastic Moment (by: sharkchucker)

Short Bus (by: sharkchucker)

A Book Story (by: sharkchucker)

Barrel of Monkeys (by: Scarlet_Kitty)

Special Feelings (by: Scarlet_Kitty)

Dirty Barry (by: bitPimps)

Smack Em Yack Em (by: bitPimps)


The Jingleberries Will Make You Famous, Or Look Fucktarded (Part 3)

Remember when The Jingleberries put out a call for recordings? Well, we’re doing a 3rd round that we can send off for The Jingleberries to work their magic on, while we sit back and hope it gets played on the air. Like these previous rejoins!

Allegedly Official Awesome Original Shawshank Redemption

Women of EllisFam Rejoin


And now, part 3 of the new recordings…

B-Rip (by: wiz1010)

You Sexy Bastid (by: tank_yanker)

A Lot Like Herpes (by: Cody_McCraw92)

Scat (by: Cody_McCraw92)

Sexual Orientation (by: Cody_McCraw92)

Side Effects Include (by: Cody_McCraw92)

TJES, Cougar Approved (by: Scarlet_Kitty)

Clit Off My Box (by: Scarlet_Kitty)

Bumpy Banana (by: Lugoman43)

Thanks, Hitler (by: Lugoman43)

Thanks, N-Bomb (by: Lugoman43)

It’s Tough To Choose (by: serutti)

Cable (by: serutti)

Jew Bell (by: sharkchucker)

All That Pussy Rawdog Smashes (by: bitPimps)

I Got Super Powers (by: bitPimps)

Smoke Weed Everyday (by: NorCalRowe)

Bom Da Boo Poo (by: NorCalRowe)


The Jingleberries Will Make You Famous, Or Look Fucktarded (Part 2)

Remember when The Jingleberries put out a call for recordings? Well, we’re doing a 2nd round that we can send off for the The Jingleberries to work their magic on, while we sit back and hope it gets played on the air. Like this rejoin @bitPimps re-wrote, @sharkchucker recorded, @Jingleberries mixed, and @EllisMate said “might be the greatest rejoin. Ever, made… ever!”

Shawshank Rejoin (by: sharkchucker)

Allegedly Official Awesome Original Shawshank Redemption (by: Anonymous)

There was another drop of most all of us, but I don’t have a recording of it. If any of you do, please let me know so I can post it here.

Update 3/27/2013: Here’s another rejoin consisting of some of the clips below. Mixed by @Jingleberries, recorded by @emilyinSD, @mrsjessliv, @Scarlet_Kitty, and @bitPimps

Women of EllisFam Rejoin


And now, part 2 of the new recordings…

Shawshank – I Hope (by: sharkchucker)

Handsome Cock Is Live (by: sharkchucker)

Public Service Announcement (by: sharkchucker)

One for the Oil Patch Workers (by: bitPimps)

AIDs Callers Are Out There (by: bitPimps)

Hero (by: bitPimps)

Tanya’s Wet Pussy (by: bitPimps)

Ass Tattoo (by: bitPimps)

Lacey Diddles (by: bitPimps)

RawBot Sex (by: bitPimps)

Tully’s Smart (by: bitPimps)

Ya Hoser (by: thegooser)

Caller (by: thegooser)

Intelligent Conversation (by: thegooser)

EllisMania.com (by: thegooser)

Pooooooop (by: thegooser)

The Real Question (by: thegooser)

Prize Chamber Canadian Version (by: thegooser)

I Am In You (by: thegooser)

The Hole (by: thegooser)

For bitPimps (by: thegooser)

I Don’t Always Touch Myself (by: emilyinSD)

Perfectly Proportioned Cocks (by: emilyinSD)

Rub One Out (by: mrsjessliv)

Snowball the Fuck Out of Those Buttchuggers (by: mrsjessliv)

I Like To Be Stimulated Orally (by: Scarlet_Kitty)


But Is It Really Halftime?

So our best voice-over guy, @sharkchucker said he wanted to make some new “Halftime” buttons to include all of North America – guess he has a soft spot in his heart for some of you Canadians. I pounded back a few drinks and wrote up some garbage for him to read, no matter how shitty my writing, he turned them into sweet-ass gems. Enjoy!

Call The Plumber

Cheat Code

Gang Bang

Learn How To Math

Chechnya (Original Recipe)

Chechnya (Flamin’ Hot)