Tag Archives: Rude Jude

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 6/19/2012

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Look how adorable Shaq is!

Guess what’s happening today? Ellis is fucking your mom’s face, he’s fucking your face, he’s fucking my face, he’s fucking everyone’s faces off – like a Clydesdale. Speaking of horses, Ellis wants a bald dog, he doesn’t think Andre the Giant is adorable, and he says anything over 6′ 6″ isn’t adorable. This is where I disagree and show you a picture of Shaq on horse, that is adorable – in an inhumane sort of way. Some homeless guy knocked on the window of THC’s Porsche, asking for money, and he almost got that last tooth in his head knocked the fuck out when he was trying to play tough homeless junky guy. That’s not a good way to ask for charity, getting your dirty bum hands on a dude’s Porsche and telling him to fuck off. But enough of impoverished people talk because it’s a real downer, it’s Rude Judesday. He gave a pair of undies to Ellis, which makes for an odd gift, but hey – we’re talking about Jude here. Last Friday, Jude took himself an ecstasy type pill and went to get a rub and tug by a tiny Asian with braces, then when next door to eat tacos – thereby creating the best two hours of his life.

I wanna be the Wolf Knives too!

Breaking news, Grant “No longer duckin'” Cobb is back in the musical chair fight, but by backing out originally, he gave up his belt and @Butterballs_EM6 is still the interim musical chair fight champion. There is also talk of a possible appearance by MMA Barney The Dinosaur (@ShaneCarwin) at Ellismania 8! But you know that shit ain’t gonna happen, Carwin’s a working man and is probably too busy. We got to hear Ellis busting out his acting chops in the major, made for TV movie “Zolar“, as well as some behind the scenes extras from the DVD. Shout out to @CobraTits for providing audio and video for all your curious Zolar viewing / listening pleasures. More peeps were called up into the Wolf Knives gang ranks, it’s getting pretty big like your mom’s ass, so if you’re getting in on that shit, you should probably get on it like your mom does on the homeless cock. Whoa! Two mom jokes in a sentence? Is that a record? Probably not. Oh well.

These girls were pretty funny.

Rawdog thinks there are female comedians that are just as funny as the top male comedians. Clearly that’s bullshit because chicks can’t make jokes while they’re bleeding from their stink box. Honestly, comedy has historically been dominated by males, but I think that’s changing about as much and/or as fast as it can. Yes, there are funny females in comedy, but I’m not sure that’s really even so much of a goal of females as it is for males. There are tons of different theories on why there aren’t more women in comedy. I don’t know. Maybe in the future it will be dominated by women. HAHAHAAA Fuck. I’m sorry, I can’t even keep a straight face saying that. How can I laugh at you while I’m trying to picture what you look like naked? It’s just not that easy, as opposed to your mom. OH!

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 6/5/2012

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Y’all wanna see a dead body?

It’s taco Tuesday, titty Tuesday, twink Tuesday, whatever Tuesday. Fuckin’ pick one and enjoy that shit. Ellis saw a dead guy on the beach this morning, sounds like he was floating in the water all bloated and looking like an octopus and shit. Tully will be guest hosting on Hair Nation tonight and for the rest of this week, I’m anxious to see if he starts coming on the show in leopard print spandex pants and sporting bandanas tied around his wrists and microphone. Ellis went to a sensory deprivation tank yesterday for two hours, in accordance with his agreement with Rawdog that he would try it. Sounds like Jude might be going to Ellismania 8, that’s pretty fuckin’ awesome-sauce, right?

Come on ride the train hey ride it woo woo

Sounds like Rawdog banged a chick at the last Ellismania, to be more precise, he had 2 different chicks semi-fighting over him. I honestly don’t remember him ever bringing this up on the radio, but I do remember seeing a picture of him kissing on a chick at an after party at a bar. Big surprise here, a lot of religious people are really fucked up in the head and a lot of them hate homosexuals because Jeebus told them to or some dumb shit. That discussion went on for awhile, but nothing was really said that hasn’t already been said for centuries, basically it was just train wreck of fire and brimstone bullshit. A German chick was listening while on ellismania.com and I assume was lying when she said she does not do anal and is not into scat play. What German isn’t into sex involving fecal matter? That’s right, NONE! If you’re a short and fat girl, that’s a real bummer, if you’re short and not fat, you’re probably pretty fucking cute. If you’re tall and beautiful, you’re probably a model, otherwise odds are you’re a fucking Amazon, deformed, hideous oddity. Maybe you have gigantism and / or a mustache, I don’t know – nobody really knows, it’s not an exact science you fuckwit.

Swedish, German, does it really matter?

Some guy in Sweden masturbates so loudly he’s annoying the neighbors and the cops are just like “you guys deal with it, we’re not getting any Swiss cum on our shit”. According to one neighbor, he moans louder than an animal and it affects her state of mind. Of course it affects your state of mind, you’re probably super moist, ya Swede. Some dude claimed to be married to a chick with an identical twin sister, and unbeknownst to him, the twin came over and they got busy with sexy times but he didn’t realize it was the twin sister. I call straight up bullshit on this fucking story, it sounds like a rejected Penthouse letter. Some fucker from Missouri called in with a shit call, a message to you sir, me and @oxycottonjohn rule down here, so don’t go fuckin’ around and making us look bad, you shitdick.

Forever A Stallone

At 93 years of age, Mel Gibson’s father is getting divorced over alligations of elderly abuse. Way to catch that shit in time man, you’re on deaths doorstep and you want a divorce now? Shit must be fucking balls to the wall crazy up in Mel Gibson Senior’s Senior Center. There was some crime / murder / death / kill / funeral talk, (did you just catch that “Demolition Man” reference?) it was kind of a downer at times – especially for Ellis when it reminded him of his brother Stevie, but life isn’t always weed and titties and all types of ill shit. Next big call was some dude called in about his daughter getting molested / raped at knife point and wasn’t sure if he was going to give more information to the police or if he would take matters into his own hands. Since he called into the show to discuss it, that pretty much cements the decision, just give the information to the police because now you’re implicated. Hopefully prison justice prevails here because child molesters in prison don’t last long amongst general prisoners. There’s really nothing else to be said here, it’s sickening. No new music Tuesday today because Rawdog’s computer that he loves so much is a big piece of shit and wouldn’t burn a cd, so you can thank Steve Jobs for making fanboy toys, that eventually saved you from new music Tuesday – even though it has gotten better since Rawdog has stopped focusing solely on sad bastard, pumpernickle bread, bullshit. And as always, I have more information I feel I can tell you about your mother. You know how your mom says anal sex is like your first car? You don’t really want it, but your dad gives it to you anyways. So in case you don’t get it, your grandpa fucked your mother right in her asshole. OH!

Rawdog and Whitney after EM7 – 9/19/11, 6/5/12 (History)

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Did Rawdog admit to getting laid at EM7? Cobratits is on the case.

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6/5/12

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9/19/11

Download (link to MP3)

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 5/29/2012

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If your reading this its because your one of the cool kids and just so you know, being cool is cool, so be cool to stay cool and then were all cool. Before the show Ellis spent some time on the beach where he met a crab. Now this was apparently no ordinary crab, this was a moto crab and he had many questions about Vilipoto. Why a crab would care escapes me but hell, if i found a talking crab I would probably try to aswer all the questions he had. Jude came in today and gave us some very great advise, NEVER take Cialis and Ecstacy at the same time. It might seem like a good idea, but according to Jude, your heart will probably blast out of your chest. Also on more drug educating news, don’t eat fruit while on Cialis. I don’t know why but this one guy that my buddies brother knew did and he died. There, thats all the proof you need.

Canada has severed feet popping up everywhere, this time it was mailed. Great job on suppying the show with material Canada, keep up the good work. There is a new call screener and so far today he has done a fine job, there was a drastic decrease in shitty phone calls today. He currently is being called The Navarro, but I expect that to change shortly because there can only be one Navarro, and only one. The main test today was when the guys played Dude Am I A Slut, and I must say that the FNG did just fine. The first call was a Tranny, but then it happened. The DAIAS call that all other calls will be measured upon, Jennifer. Jennifer apparently was on a 7 day cruise and fucked 6 guys not counting her boyfriend who was with her, and 2 of which were a threesome with her girlfriend. Congratulations Jennifer you slut of all sluts.

Jessie Johnson was in the studio today to promote his new energy drink, Speed. He talked about racing, and he announced that there is an announcement. An 81 year old woman almost died skydiving, and a naked man in Florida got shot by police because he was eating another mans face. Tumble Bum doesn’t like potatoe slad be cause it, “is still a salad” which made everybody stop what they were doing as say, what the fuck? And finally Uncle Mayhem came in today and said that he was relieved that he is no longer in the UFC. It feels like a weight has been lifted off of him. He will continue to train his other team mates and I have a good feeling that Mayhem will still be around the UFC one way or another.  Did you know that you had a brother? No? It turns out that your moms pussy was so hairy when he was born, that he died of rugburns, OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 4/25/2012

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Hello and welcome my friends to another wonderfully insightful edition of The Jason Ellis Show Re-Cap.   Today started out with the boys going a bit Eco friendly.  Grass topped bars, grass carpets, and log cars.  These seem like interesting ideas until you start thinking, who’s gonna mow the bar?  And if you throw up will there be a dead spot.  Would dogs be allowed in, and who’s cleaning up that mess?  Probably best to just leave things the way they are.  Well punch me in the cock, Rawdog had a rather successful date. At least as successful as one would expect from Rumble McTumble Bum.  This mystery internet woman seems very impressed with Josh and even said he looks better in person than on his profile pic. Fist Bump.  I believe it is safe to say this girl will be swallowing some Tussin in the near future if you know what I’m saying.  Yeah, you know what I’m saying. Today is also Rude Juduesday and Jude ruffled some feathers when he came in wearing a Vick jersey and totally defended dog fighting. Said dogs aren’t humans & he don’t give a fuck about a dog. This struck a nerve with many as expected but a mans opinion is his own.

Teens are fucktarded, as we all know.  But they have brought it to a whole new level, they are drinking hand sanitizer to get drunk.  What ever happened to the good ol grab and dash? That was a highly effective way of getting booze. Kids these days.  We also heard some fucking awesome mash ups and parody songs, so shout out to Cruiser Boy and Mike Higgins, great job dudes. Jason’s book is now on the New York Times Best Seller list at number 23. That’s a huge fucking accomplishment from a dude who “can’t read or write.”

A guy named Gordy called the VIP line.  This lucky 19 year old bastard got the number from his copy of I’m Awesome but not the circle jerk names. Hope is still out there, don’t give up.  Other news, Octomom is a hoe bag and Chis Angel is a douche, as if we didn’t already know.

A bit of serious information, between May 8th and May 22nd download the song “Long Time” by Everlast. Precedes will help to find a better treatment for Cystic Fibrosis.

And I know that you are reading this Mr. McConaughey so will you please get your shirtless ass into the show, and Matthew, we can do this the easy way or the, aww fuck it, I can’t remember the quote.  Much like I can’t ever remember what your mum says because it just sounds like shes gargling cum. And she is, OH!