Show Re-cap For Tuesday 6/19/2012

Look how adorable Shaq is!

Guess what’s happening today? Ellis is fucking your mom’s face, he’s fucking your face, he’s fucking my face, he’s fucking everyone’s faces off – like a Clydesdale. Speaking of horses, Ellis wants a bald dog, he doesn’t think Andre the Giant is adorable, and he says anything over 6′ 6″ isn’t adorable. This is where I disagree and show you a picture of Shaq on horse, that is adorable – in an inhumane sort of way. Some homeless guy knocked on the window of THC’s Porsche, asking for money, and he almost got that last tooth in his head knocked the fuck out when he was trying to play tough homeless junky guy. That’s not a good way to ask for charity, getting your dirty bum hands on a dude’s Porsche and telling him to fuck off. But enough of impoverished people talk because it’s a real downer, it’s Rude Judesday. He gave a pair of undies to Ellis, which makes for an odd gift, but hey – we’re talking about Jude here. Last Friday, Jude took himself an ecstasy type pill and went to get a rub and tug by a tiny Asian with braces, then when next door to eat tacos – thereby creating the best two hours of his life.

I wanna be the Wolf Knives too!

Breaking news, Grant “No longer duckin'” Cobb is back in the musical chair fight, but by backing out originally, he gave up his belt and @Butterballs_EM6 is still the interim musical chair fight champion. There is also talk of a possible appearance by MMA Barney The Dinosaur (@ShaneCarwin) at Ellismania 8! But you know that shit ain’t gonna happen, Carwin’s a working man and is probably too busy. We got to hear Ellis busting out his acting chops in the major, made for TV movie “Zolar“, as well as some behind the scenes extras from the DVD. Shout out to @CobraTits for providing audio and video for all your curious Zolar viewing / listening pleasures. More peeps were called up into the Wolf Knives gang ranks, it’s getting pretty big like your mom’s ass, so if you’re getting in on that shit, you should probably get on it like your mom does on the homeless cock. Whoa! Two mom jokes in a sentence? Is that a record? Probably not. Oh well.

These girls were pretty funny.

Rawdog thinks there are female comedians that are just as funny as the top male comedians. Clearly that’s bullshit because chicks can’t make jokes while they’re bleeding from their stink box. Honestly, comedy has historically been dominated by males, but I think that’s changing about as much and/or as fast as it can. Yes, there are funny females in comedy, but I’m not sure that’s really even so much of a goal of females as it is for males. There are tons of different theories on why there aren’t more women in comedy. I don’t know. Maybe in the future it will be dominated by women. HAHAHAAA Fuck. I’m sorry, I can’t even keep a straight face saying that. How can I laugh at you while I’m trying to picture what you look like naked? It’s just not that easy, as opposed to your mom. OH!

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