Show Re-Cap for Wednesday 5/6/2015

dead-horse

Ronda Ronda Ronda Ronda Ronda Ronda Ronda.

Why the fuck are Bics so expensive? What the fuck is up with that? Ghey. Anyway, it’s Wednesday, whatchya gonna do bout that? Loitering, what is it exactly? Can you get arrested for it? Got Google? Are you lazy? Suffering from irritable bowel syndrome? Ellis is on some prescription drug that is used as part of a treatment plan for problem drinking. Basically, he’s gonna get violently ill if he drinks while on this medication. Sounds fun, right? Tully wasn’t sure exactly what loitering was, now he’s not sure the difference between gas and oil. Ellis learned the connection between crude oil and “fossil fuels”, and he didn’t think he was going to learn anything today. Pfffsssshhhyeah, right. Whoever found oil and figured out you could burn that shit and run stuff on it, was a smart mother fucker. The Ellis kids got vibed at the park for driving those battery powered toy cars, his r/c car got the boot too. Ronda Rousey. Book. Reading. Rousey. Book. Ronda. Book. Hero. Book. Ronda. Emotional. Book. Rousey. Fucking hell. Now you know what it feels like to be brow beaten by a god damn book. Now it’s evolved into Rousey / Pacquiao / Mayweather, the trifecta of I could not give any less of a shit. But, I guess other’s are probably interested in it, so whatever – fuck me, am I right? Continue reading

TJES: Unknown Karaoke

This is “Unknown Karaoke”, a segment in which the guys try to sing along to a song they have little to no clue how the actual lyrics go. Things we learn from this bit:

  • The words “vanilla” and “white” have now been replaced with “Andrew”
    (e.g. “Andrew bean ice cream is delicious”, “She just got her teeth Andrewed”)
  • It’s no mistake that Will only knows the most creepy, murdery, stalkery parts of songs.
  • Cumtard does the “meow” thing because when goes for the high notes, it sounds like someone stepped on a cat.
  • Tully feels like a natural woman.
  • Ellis just out Whammied Wham.

Show Re-Cap for Monday 5/4/2015

buzz-off

All this Mayweather / Pacquiao talk, I don’t wanna hear it.

So it’s Monday. “Star Wars Day” for many of you, and “Who Cares Day” for probably just as many of you. So Ellis ended up watching the Mayweather vs Pacquiao fight even though he didn’t plan to. He didn’t want to contribute any money towards a man who allegedly has beaten women 7 times in his life. I didn’t watch it and I’m super glad I didn’t because man, I’d be fucking pissed if I paid money to watch what ended up being the equivalent of a high school slow dance. Continue reading

Show Re-Cap for Thursday 4/30/2015

ike-on-instagram

Ike knows domestic violence.

Well howdy stranger! I haven’t seen you in quite some time – how are things? Don’t answer that, neither of us have time for that shit. Let me whip out my magic stick and swing my recapping meat in your face. The show started off with talk about Paul Blart: Mall Cop and Ellis doing the show while also filming his parts in the off hours. Ellis and Tully reminisced about doing a show in the middle of the night, both of them on different coasts and using their phones to do the show. Ellis had a dream, not like an MLK dream or anything, but it was about him being with this girl with youthful metal tits with steel nipples and rivets holding the big knockers in place. Continue reading

Show Re-Cap for Wednesday 4/29/2015

You came to the right place for news you didn’t know you needed to know. Details will be excluded from this recap to protect the innocent.  Let’s get to it.

The famous people renting space in Jason’s head have rearranged the furniture and now he’s smashing his toes with every blind step. Joe Rogan, Dr. Drew, Bryan Callen, & Brendan Schaub (probably all misspelled, I don’t care) all know that he will be wearing a drool bucket around his neck. Clearly other action sports guys are still having fun , so what’s the big deal. Weather or not it makes him a bad dad became the topic and the answer is yes. (According to Tully) Continue reading