Tag Archives: Jason Ellis

Show Re-cap For Thursday 2/14/2013

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Today’s Valentines Day Show recap is for the ladies, so Happy VD from Ghostload ladies!  Oh, and now a Happy VD to the fellas too, #FullHomo.  Speaking of Full Homo, Tully took Linsanity to some museum and Ellis is working super dad hard on new approaches to his kids.  All sounding good to me, and to Ellis too who gave himself some more HTFU advice and is rolling on, Brother!  Ellis really does believe the show will have a REAL producer soon, and that THC should call him every night and threatening him.  Sounds kinda cool, but not as cool as Chad Reed Day a week from 22-morrow.  Doing Stuff With Rawdog with a VD twist, how do you propose to your hopeful wife to be, tonight?  Now we all know that you gotta hear Rawdog to understand him, but basically you need a boat small yacht, a life guard on stand by, a walkie talkie, and you better prey its not cloudy tonight.   Or you could just bring your own Minora to dinner and do it over candleslight.  For real for real, he’d just have the Domino’s dude bring it in a box of those tasty fucking chocolate dunkers they got.  Tully threw in his 2 cents, just do it like a magician, except the ring is the quarter……..and her ear is her pussy!

 

I Love You Too!

I Love You Too!

 

So this gay dude said he ain’t got the gay no more on account that he was saved by Jesus, at a bar, but turns out he still kinda got a little gay still.  Fuck Yeah – Ellis got the new punching machine and it is time to try it out.  Some callers got to take bets on who would beat who, but only the upsets of course and for cash n prizes.  Basically each took someone against Ellis, but if they lost…well we can get to that later.  For those playing at home Tully lays the odds as (From 1st to last) Ellis, Jizz Cult, himself and Cumtard even, and Rawdog last.  He’s from Oxford, so lets go with that and see what happens.  3 punches each and use only your highest single score.  Oh and Ellis’s little girl got a 55 on this thing, which I think scores from 0-100.  Cumtard up first with some Street Fighter shit, and topped out at only a 40!   Jizz Cult, Jizz Cult, Jizz Cult got a 50.  Super Dad up next and Tully got a respectable 60 to at least beat Snookie.  Rawdog banged out a 46 which was pretty good considering.  The intern snuck in to grab a 54, almost buddy!  How about Ellismate, a 58 – no shit Tully knocked out Ellis, on radio.  That or this machine ain’t the accurate, maybe but unlikely I think!   Oh yeah, a few dudes got to the Prize Chamber, but on Ellismania.com coming soon….dude licking his dog’s ass….dude to fart on his girlfriend…..and look for Robert who has to smoke a microwaved load joint – yup!

 

 

Now this dude is ready to play Dick Baseball

Now this dude is ready to play Dick Baseball

Britney Markham is in the house you bitches.  Transsexual porn star, bitch, and she fought in a prior Ellis Mania event bitch, she’s the bitch who puked in the bucket in the ring, Red Dragons bitches!  Allegedly some of that vomit got on Carmen Electra, who was in the front row bitch, and she ain’t been back since bitch.  Ok I’m done with the bitch thing, but you get the idea she’s expressive!  What’s Britney got going on?  Just got back from Columbia where she got some ass injections, oh  and she’s got a book like sometime this year.  She’s got a charity going on, The Britney Markham Foundation.  She pissed into a glass on the limo ride to TJES, had and has ball cancer, and may be a little racist.  So what do we do with a tranny of this caliber, play a game – Dick Baseball.  Yeah, they did.  4 boxes set up, each further away in distance.  The farther away the more points and the higher the prize, for the caller.  Oh but there’s a twist my friends, the caller can trade their prize for Cumtard being shock collared and having to catch the balls in his mouth, from the trannies dick.  Ready – Play Ball!   Yeah so baseball is a bit boring, how about it was kinda cool, one dude got a sticker, and pretty quickly it was just Cumtard trying to catch ping pong balls while Tully n Josh took turns pitching to the tranny batter with a huge stick.  Fucking hilarity if you can go back, or catch it on a best of I’m sure.  Cumtard only got the balls on his chin and nose, but never into his mouth, and he got the shit shocked out of him.

 

Best I Could Find On 'Shitting Metal'

Best I Could Find On ‘Shitting Metal’

Some dude bought some bread with shards of glass in it, and we all know that Shitting Glass Is Metal!!!!   So Britney has this friend with her, Paula, who’s telling us all about this bad ass new workout called SeXercise.  She took a moment to show Rawdog the ‘Vine’, where your chic is on the floor doggy, you come in from above and behind, and she wraps a leg around you and resembles a vine = Fucking Genius!  Just one bit of advice I took from the show today, while you do wanna tell your lady about this, please wait til tomorrow dumb ass.  Curious about the Britney Markham diet?  McDonald’s, Xanax, Shit, Anal Douche and repeat.  You Sir Lady Are A Moron.  You know the game, and hopefully you heard it cause my weed dealer stopped by and I had to pause that shit, and you know the fucking Sirius App sucks balls so I finally tune back in to hear the age old question of life – Would you rather live in 40 or 100 degree weather year round?  Answer:  “No One’s Titties Are Out When It’s 40 Degrees Dude” -Jason Ellis. Let’s see, cursive is gay, porn is worse than violence for your kids, Britney can shoot a 12 foot load and obviously give herself a facial, Sear’s beats National Geo for spank material.  Then shit got heavy, would and how often would you blow yourself if you could?  Britney can, bitches!  Ellis verse Tully on this one with Rawdog deep in thought and all we got out of it was a sweet button from Will – Yeah Will!  Stamp Collecting and Dungeons and Dragons are equally gay, but one could lead to a fortune so fuck off.  And Corey Taylor has a book out about possessions n his life n stuff, fucking cool right.  Before Britney could leave she had to do one last thing, punch the machine. She got a 46 which tied Rawdog and that just pissed her off to no end, so good luck with that bitches.

 

What I’ll Be Doing To Your Grandmama’s Box Later Tonight!

 

Hollywood News be Ballin’!  Yeah Jim Jones got arrested for Ballin’ to muthafucking hard, and another time for having snow on his side walk, really.  By now I’m sure you’ve heard about the former no legged Olympian dude that shot his girlfriend, if not here.   Chubby Checker is suing HP over some app that determines your dick size from your show size.  My gut says the majority of you searched for the app rather than reading the story, and if you did read it, it was only to hear more about the app.  Why is Drew Barrymore removing her tattoos – cause she was to be buried in a jew box n live happily ever after in jewternity.  Nicki Minaj sucks.  Ke$ha is fucking hot and apparently this documentary of her says she’s just like ol’ Uncle Ellismate boys n girls.  Well with the piss drinking and shark stuff, fucking Ellis Bob’s your uncle!  James Franco will be unveiling Gay Town at some art festival.  Death! Death! Die! have announced no plans of such said song, yet.  Lady Gaga cancelled her tour cause she tour her labrum, fucking pussy I may have broken my thumb and I ain’t let the fans down on a gnarly TJES recap, bitches Ballin’!  MMA News about NY almost getting their shit together – STD News about whats in store for later tonight.  Some lady called in, I think she was trying to get Ellis to bang her and her husband.  Oh, and Rawdog reviewed some art or some shit.  Not really sure cause I couldn’t wait to break out today’s score and kinda don’t remember much.  All I know, by the time I post this I will be ‘Vining’ your grandma if the bitch can lift her leg that high – Happy VD grandma, OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 2/11/2013

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teehee_picard

Snookie dropped a deuce?

It’s another Monday, and holy shit balls, Ellis got the outline done for his hair club for wolf men tattoo! That’s fuggin gnarly nuts. Rawdog thinks it might be a bit of a rash decision, even though Ellis has been talking about it for several weeks. It’s just such a massive thing to do and is shocking, so that might be where people are questioning the decision. But, hey, Ellis is alright – don’t worry about it, it’s not your head. Carey Hart hooked the Ellis family up big time, Tiggy got to sit on Carey’s motorcycle and get his picture taken, Devin got to take a massive dump in Carey’s personal bathroom, and Carey’s chiropractor popped Ellis’ back and fixed his shit – then they all got the fuck outta there. Will Rawdog be creating a “Rawdog’s Puffy Nipple Corner” on the EllisMania.com website? Will Tully and Ellis become pimps?

wins_grammys

He was doing the Harlem Shake before it was cool.

Hey, did you see the Grammys? Yeah, me either. So fuck that shit. Oh, and Rawdog serenaded us with some of the songs played, the beautifully nasal renditions brought a tear to listener’s eyes. Grammy talk went on for about 45 minutes or so, there’s not much more to say about it. The ex-drummer of Korn was arrested for driving under the influence of a sleeping pill, that’s pretty stupid. Sad reptile news, the world’s largest captive crocodile who was more than 50 years old, died from chronic diarrhea – now that’s some bullshit! Tully revealed that when he was kid playing ColecoVision, he gave the TV the finger and his mom saw him do it. Dun-dun-dun! Later that night while he was taking a bath, he washed his own mouth out with soap, like a good Christ fearing child may tend to do. Rawdog’s getting buff and busted out 40 halftime push-ups today, giving the guys a free look at what it looks like while he’s taking control and pumping a chick.

disco_stick

Don’t be gay! Rape little kids instead, because, it’s um… not gay.

More unsigned burps and farts came up today, and of course the Burbank Dave fart came into question, they could tell it was edited together – but it was still good none the less. Cumtard had a couple loving unsigned farts as he was walking home with Will Pendarvis, OMG guys, it was so cute! That lead us into a game by Cumtard, clips of Stupid Tits (former intern) describing things and the guys have to guess what the hell he’s talking about. As you can imagine, his descriptions were on par with his impressions, which means they’re pretty much worthless and the shit that comes out of his mouth can only be understood by him and him alone. The Pope resigned, the first to do so in over 600 years, everyone’s speculating that he’s pulling out due to all the sex scandals revolving around the Church. Some Ellis listener foiled a fucking bank robbery and got sent to the prize chamber for his efforts. Red Dragons! There was some Hollywood news, but I was driving home at the time and didn’t care to take notes. Then talk about selling out, what it entails, would you do it, etc. But maybe more importantly, what does two grains of rice in the sink mean? A Somalian has been up all night vomiting. OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 2/7/2013

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A long long time ago, in a far far away place, on a Thursday too coincidentally, someone somewhere made a huge mistake, accidental genius one might say, and let some Aussie washed up skate boarder hop on a microphone and riff.  I don’t think it was Birdman he was referring too, and sharp things fucking suck dude.  Drama nearby the swing-house studios.  Cop cars and ghetto birds flying around, apparently looking for some former cop who went AWOL and started killing other cops n shit, fucking gnarly shit bro.  Awso equawwy as fucking gnarwy, check out who’s in the Huffington Post sewwing his super accurate fortune cookies.  Did you know when Ellis works out, Fionna Apple is too little, and Sepultura’s 1st album is too much.  You can thank Rawdog for that first artist being on Ellis’s ipod.  Speaking of Rawdog, he’s getting all cut up, well not yet but he is working out and getting into it, you go girl!  Did you know phones make us bad parents?  But not Tully, superdad got his twinkle twinkle skills down.  Bindi Irwin, daughter of no longer with us superdad Steve Irwin, told Hillary Clinton to shove it, yo also go girl!  She also is apparently in Bindi’s Boot Camp, but it ain’t no JewManji so I ain’t checked that out yet.  Oh shit, how could I forget, Ellis was working the heavy bag when he felt something happen, possibly a slipped disc, or displaced rib, that or he’s pregnant, and the baby collapsed his lung, something like that….

 

Hey Hey it wasn't my fucking idea!

     Hey Hey it wasn’t my fucking idea!

 

Self proclaimed ledge Steven Seagal has a new posse to teach front kicks to while overlooking the Arizona public school system.  I wonder if Seagal uses the same facial creme Ellis got in the mail today?  Whateves right – Remember DirtShark from DirtShark.com fame, if you don’t he came on the show a while back with a moto dude, and personally it was some of the shittiest TJES I’ve ever heard, still better than 96% of the shit out there though.  Anyways, this dude seems to get sweeter by the minute, starting with his Sharklets he’s bringing by later to play a game, kinda sweet huh.  So the game has some questions that need to be answered ahead of time, and Rawdog Ellis n Tully were the first to go.  Short n sweet, Ellis fucks like he plays rugby, while Rawdogs a sorta table tennis kinda guy.  While Tully’s Mom’s best feature is her smile, Ellis’s has to be her tits. Tully refuses to fuck hatians, Ellis wont do a Nazi, and Rawdog is against slamming any retards.  Women shouldn’t be allowed to vote, drive or play basketball on TV per Ellis.  About then Tully committed to a plan to go softy McFrostington on ’em saying women shouldn’t cry without a shoulder to cry on, PFFFfag.  And how much on a first date should you spend?  Rawdog calculated the average over his last few dates, he spent 70 bucks.  Ellis was willing to spend whatever it takes, while Tully would pay whatever she costs…..kinda the same thing idn’t it?

 

This is why Rawdog will Never go to jail!

This is why Rawdog will Never go to jail!

 

Bitch Had It Coming News is just fucking nasty, and sounds like a NoYouAre joke to me.  What would happen to your ass in jail?  Well we all remember that Rawdog is doomed as a drug mule so there goes his ass.  Ellis thinks he’d be raped for sure, or shanked, or both, at the same time.  Wonder if Rawdog would get shanked, possibly Tully thinks somebody would have too even if just cause they finally can kill someone.  And what if you fuck a dude in jail, do you come out of jail with a totally different outlook on ass and whos it is?  This and more on The Jason Fucking Ellis Show Barry Damn It!  So yesterday I told you not to quote me on the email address for Unsigned Farts, and hopefully you didn’t.  If you have an Unsigned fart, email it to jellis@siriusxm.com.  Shout out to all you muthafuckers who sent in farts n burps for today’s vulgar display of awesomeness.  Truth though, if your gonna make one of these, you gotta try to get the vocals and the fart/burp together at the same time.  Except for that dude who said “I cum under it from under” you keep doing what you do homie!  Aussie News is just lame man, fucking pussies.  If Ellis were president, he’d not only ban birthday singing at restaurants but set a minimum grade for all meat.  This of course doesn’t apply the Bee restaurants and their famous Honey Burgers, I mean really.  Mexicans Am I Right?  So did they take all the shitty jobs from the 14 year old white kids, or are today’s youth just too lazy or good for working the drive through at Burger King?  Who knows, but they got cool cars and their chicken is pretty fucking slammin’ too.

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                           Tara

Gemma

                     Gemma

        

So remember that game and those Sharklets that DirtSharks bring by, well he brought ’em by, say hello to Gemma and Tara.  One’s from Australia the other New Zealand, and both looking for that guy whos a FGC (Future Green Card).  They also both sweat Dingo, but then again it is fucking Dingo right!  Ellis had to school ’em on who was the first to make it America, really just revealing he’s getting up there a little in years.  Turns out these two chics live a few blocks away, and are willing to stop by everyday if the show just provides beer.  You thinking what I’m thinking…..Dingo’s fucking really cool huh.   One of them’s sponsored by Monster n one hosts something on Fuel TV, blah blah blah blah.  Look they’re pretty fucking hot, and if you ran the show you’d be sweatin’ this opportunity, plus we got a game.  Today’s game is brought to you by DirtShark Wednesdays  so get it up ya!   So you remember earlier Tully n freinds answered a few questions, well apparently so did Will Shindarvis, Cumtard, and the intern guy, and the Sharklets had to answer them.  Winner gets a date, loser got off lucky cause there was no penalty this go around.  First off, these chis are a lot of fun I’m sure, so Tully’s romantic soft thought out shit just didn’t cut it.  The fucking intern don’t really matter yet, so theres that.  Rawdizzle did ok, since he does draw the line at sticking shit in his ass without asking if you wanna a piece of the Dog.  Will read the questions and sabotaged Ellis’s answers, so The Wing was fucked from the start.  Despite Will’s antics, he still fell short with his chess like fucking skills, and his answer that practically begged for a date with these chics.  So would I leave out, oh shit Cumtard from sector Cumtard of Planet Cumtardia, well despite his bull riding skills in the moon bounce, he got stiffed on the date he won, and instead was jsut offered to take His Shirt off in front of them…..he respectfully declined.

 

Fucking Oath Mate – Just Like Me Mum

 

Coming soon Im sure, Ellismate approved pasties.  They’re just stickers, but they work like a champ, and damn near were tested live in the studio.  Its not insertion so its mellow, much like final calls were.  Anyone could have called in to talk to these chics, or DirtShark even, but nope they were just about all for The Wing.  Hey Ellis, whats it like for you and your chic to wanna fuck everyone all the time?  Yo Ellis, tell me more about old man balls on your chic at swinger parties.  Ellis, Ellis, did Rawdog microwave anymore cum?  Dirtshark did let us know to look for the possible ‘Chad Reedets’ coming soon, allegedly maybe?  Ever wonder what its like to watch TV with Ellis?  Poto, Pussy, Poto, Punching, Poto, Pussy, Punching, Pussy, Poto!  Glad to not the The Hills in there, cause everyone knows Josh Hansen is a huge start in Australia.  Its weird I know, much like Americans and their fascination with wallabies as pets.  Not as weird as Ellis’s nickname with his real friends – Bubbles!   Yeah but I don’t know him that well so I ain’t calling him that, ya didn’t heard me.  I am however calling your grandma after i wrap this recap up so I can stick skittles up ass, fuck her, and let her taste the rainbow, OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 2/6/2013

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Wednesday is known as hump day, as its right in the middle of the work week. At work, you often have vending machines.  Sometimes, you just really need that zagnut bar, but it gets stuck…..and to those who die from vending machine accidents, today’s show is for you!  You dumb lucky fucks got a good one too, so lets roll.  Shout out to SuperCrossDragon and his bad ass cricket concentration camp.  Also shout out to magnets, fucking love those things however they work, and lets hope they do work to hold up the wolf knife banner which just fell down.  If your pants just fall down, and your iphone falls out yo pocket, just let your ass rip and record that shit fart – send it to I think ellisparodies@gmail.com but don’t quote me on that shit fart.  Ellis played a new one of his own to get us started, and Tully had a few that had been sent in including a sweet 20seconds from Brandon, and the guy who asked Kobe how is ass taste, literally!  Sorry to that one lady with the 28 G’s who wants Ellismania to be in June cause it can’t, but Rawdog mania is anytime you want, Hey Lady!  Titties like that will probably knock you out worse than that dude from Ultimate Fighter last night.  They’d probably make you cum like a mother fucker too, and microwave that shit like Rawdog did, but thats later in the show.

 

 

MyFreeCams.com get it up ya!  Ol’ Uncle Ellis got it up him, and watched some ladies get all kinds of shit up them, and all free too.  Well not really, you need tokens for some private shows, but some chics just go for it without tokens, i say fuck tokens!  Kinda creepy to hear Ellis Tully n Rawdizzle each watch chics on cam, and give us the play by play, but also kinda funny too.  They saw someone requesting a chic play with her belly button, some Amish Milf lady, and even got a Red Dragons in a room.  Ellis says its fun to watch n see bitches just get pissed and yell at their computers, and others pulling a dildo out their ass, sniffing it and deciding blowing it ain’t a reasonable option anymore.  The real questions is how much money can be made doing this shit?  Enough to possibly get Cumtard to become Camtard, and put the World’s Smartest Box to use for a true greater good.  Considering he called his mechanic while in the studio, and dropped a over 5-grand bill, he may be looking to more than just one website….so try out StreamMate.com or Chaturbate.com.  Also he could try to cum and microwave that shit like Rawdog did, of course thats later in the show.

 

Happy Birthday @AZ_RedDragon, and Will too I guess.

This Muthafucker here said he was Obama, tried to kidnap some kids, and got the shit beat out of him.  No its not Will Pendarvis III, but today is @AZ_RedDragon‘s birthday so shout out to yo sexy ass, #FullHomo!  Oh, its Will’s too but I only mention that cause it led to a game that got playeded by the fellas.  Yeah remember how last week ol Jizz Cult thought it be a good idea to put Cumtard and his hard earned money on the line……Win Will Pendarvis III’s Money.  If you don’t remember the game, it pits Will against a caller, and Tully asks a question.  Will writes his answer down, then the caller shouts their answer, and if he’s wrong plus the caller is right, Cold Jizz Cult Cash You Cunts (Album droppin’ this September)!  Look, I ain’t gonna sit here and write each question, cause honestly what the fuck dude.  I Will Pendarvis III tell you the tibia is known as the shiny shin bone, and made some dude $23 richer.  BJJ stands for Blow Job Jason, and to be correct it is Anderson “The Man” Silva who is a master of BJJ if you didn’t know!  Last year’s super bowl champs were in fact the Tamp Bay Lighting.  If you knew that, then I’m sure you knew Lebron James and Toby Bryant are two players from the Miami Heat.  And while no one got the quarter of a million dollar question, some dude did get the $4,300,000,000,000 Q when he recited the Green Lantern Oath, while Cumtard jerked it in a near by Green Room, coincidence – I think no you are!  I wonder if he microwaved that shit like Rawdog did, but can’t think about that now since thats later in the show.

 

Damn Right It’s Britney Bitch!

So Postal workers will still be going postal, but just not on Saturdays, and no link you can just look that shit up.  Remember when Rawdog almost went postal yesterday on salads, and Ellis almost went postal on him – you remember right?  Well they kissed n made out up n Rawdog got nuggets and lived happily ever after.  Remember that dude Sean, that doesn’t have a dick yet but wants one, and beat the shit out of Rawdog in EllisMania.  He stopped by the show with his chic to put some Hard Pussy On Your Ass.  But before he could do that, Ellis Tully and Rawdog had to play Name That Pussy.  If your interested in hearing about how the boxes  of say Sharon Stone, Pamela Anderson, Miley Cyrus, Kim Kardashian or Kate Moss look, well fucking On Demand it Barry Damn It.  And if your really tweaked, make sure to listen for how Paris Hilton, Helen Hunt and Sasquatch Demi Moore.  Oh shit, and I almost forget, It’s Britney Bitch!  The game wasn’t all that riveting really, but it was a close one that came to the last question.  Rawdog n Tully got it right, Ellis got it wrong, so Hard Pussy On Ellis’s Ass and Rawdog microwaved his own cum, but thats not until later in the show.

 

Cover artwork for said album

Ok Ok it’s later in the show, so its time for Hard Pussy On Ellis’s Ass.  Turns out Sean just got a hormone shot, and had his Rock Hard Clit (Thats the band name for said album due out in September) was ready to go since he left the Dr’s office.  So he put it on Ellis has literally, and got a well deserved Red Dragons for his sportsmanship.  He also played a little What Do You Boys Think Of These This, but off Ellismania.com cameras and just out of the eye sight of Tully conveniently as well.  Breaking News – false alarm just good ol’ Hollywood News.  Bieber banged Rihanna while he banged Selena, but not at the same time which would have been Red Dragons Story Of The Week.  Remember Lil’ Kim, well not by this picture you won’t.  Remember Allen Iverson, yeah well apparently the bank don’t when his mortgage was due.  Remember Fergie, yeah me either but sounds like she’s pregnant.  Oh and Barney’s kid murder some dude too, and of course Rawdog microwaved his cum, but will get to that later later on in the show!

 

My Cum Pockets Never Look That Good

Don’t be stupid, be swimmingly…and check out this picture of I don’t fucking know what just check it out!  Also, check out Ellismania.com soon for the video shot today of Rawdog rolling his r’s, blinking with a shake weight all shock collared up!  Speaking of Rawdog, the manboy, the mythical fairy, the ledge – Dude fucking microwaved his cum.  Its later later in the show, so lets get to it.  Remember yesterday some dude called in, said his boy microwaved his own load, and gave it to a buddy in place of crystal meth for dude to snort?  Rawdog tried it, well not the snorting part, or at least he didn’t tell us that much.  He did tell us he did this while he “thought” his roommate was asleep.  He told us it does become a white residue passable for a powder after about 20 seconds in the microwave, so dude’s story checks out.  He said he used a plate, paper towels and he called it a recon mission.  He told us much much more, but you have to go back and listen for yourself to get the full MadDog experience.  And if your whining about replays, you can either get it On Demand, or trust me this will be in a Best Of real soon!  And if your whining about what the new Monopoly piece is, its your grandma doing a pterodactyl with Professor Money Bags, Hitler and Flip Rippington, OH!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Show Re-cap For Monday 2/4/2013

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larry_king

Larry King never interviewed people while wearing a speedo.

Here we are again, another Monday, and if you’d think talking to humans would be easy, but it’s not. Also, if you could shit one of your dicks out and have two eyes and two brains, it’d be easier. I don’t know what any of that means, don’t ask me. Dingo’s in the house, and he doesn’t have a freebie to bone Katie, but Millsaps does. Talking about motocross, Chad’a Reed did something or another, but didn’t do another thing. A pantsless Ellis interviewed and shook hands with Total Moto Poto, and he doesn’t have a freebie to bone Katie either. Katie hates football, but Ellis had to watch it at least a little bit so he was busy switching between porn and football. Rawdog didn’t watch football at all, so I assume he may have been flipping back and forth between porn and the puppy bowl. Tully and Dingo did watch the game, but not together so it’s not gay. Thunder Thighs TLC Destiny’s Child performed some annoying, yet manly, shit during the halftime break at the Super Bowl. Beyoncé’s wide box and devil face pretty much were the talk of the world though, not because it was stellar, but because her wide box was, well, wide. I still say Kenda Perez has the widest box on the planet, see a box comparison. Hey, good news, Rashad Evans lost his fight and Dana White says Rashad lost the desire and drive to compete. Dingo didn’t realize that his home country of Australia has proposed a new flag.

Can Rawdog make it to fullfill his bet, or will he not quite make it like a chick in the tampon isle?

Can Rawdog fulfill his bet, or will he not quite make it like a chick in the tampon isle?

We got to hear some of JägerBeard’s new buttons from Friday’s show, where he was slurring words and belligerently telling Tully and Ellis not to fuck his sister. After the show Friday, he went home and took a 4 hour nap, hungover and with a headache. He was hungry and was driving to Ralph’s when he felt like he had to throw-up, pulled over and puked. He couldn’t stop puking and decided to say fuck food and just go back home. Good stuff, if you missed Friday’s show, you missed out on a fun-ass show. The salad diet may be taking a toll on Rawdog, today he complained of feeling lightheaded, so Ellis had the intern run out to get him a salad. Sounds like he’s not eating much of anything, one is only left to assume he’s not eating much because he hates salads and would rather go hungry than eat something healthy. He also doesn’t like people to watch him eat salad, he didn’t want anyone to watch or film him, which made everyone think that Rawdog may be cheating – which Rawdog vehemently denies. Ellis ended up kicking him off the air and sent him out of the studio to eat his salad. It sounds like Rawdog might actually be doing himself some harm trying to fulfill this bet, he definitely shouldn’t be feeling faint and clearly needs more food in his body. After 16 minutes, Rawdog ended up coming in to show how much he’s eaten in that time – which didn’t sound like much. He got sent back out to the parking lot to keep eating his salad.

Jay-Z might be cool, but is he this cool?

Jay-Z might be cool, but is he this cool?

Speaking of eating healthy, do you think Jay-Z juices? Or do you think he just eats healthier because he’s rich and famous and it’s easier to eat healthier when you have a personal chef and dietician watching and preparing your food for you. One thing’s for sure, he’s not eating no horse meat hamburgers. That Jared guy from Subway? Yea, there’s no way Jared is eating only Subway sandwiches, maintaining his weight loss, and health. What? Corporations lie to consumers? I have never, ever, never-ever, in all my years… I’m speechless. Cumtard had some friends come in from out of town so they could be on his podcast, which isn’t live, and you can only listen to – not watch. After the show on Friday, he and his friends headed to Vegas – his car makes a noise, blows up, and they have to pull over on the side of the road – still 40 miles away from Vegas. They call AAA and waited in the middle of the desert for 2 hours, finally get to Vegas and raise a little hell by winning and losing some money. Josh came back in, ate all his salad, busted out his get out of jail free card when called Ellis out for not fulfilling his end of a bet where he was supposed to eat fast food and didn’t. Rawdog was clearly pissed and let them know he was pissed and then the show tried to soldier on without this massive weirdness in the air.

Jesus don't care if you hate the Jews, he's got bigger problems.

Jesus don’t care if you hate the Jews, he’s got bigger problems.

JizzCult came in with a game to play, which helped lighten the mood and kept the show rolling on. The game went well and Tully won like $15 bucks or something. JizzCult might be getting a new name due to a boxing poster Tully saw and took a picture of, Mookie The Sponge Back, or something like that. Some chick called in to tell Ellis she had a dream about him where they made out and went hard in the paint with some foreplay and she woke up before insertion, but she sounded satisfied anyway. Bri-Bri from Idaho called in to tell the gang that he and the other one dude that lives in Idaho are starting a “Future 41” sled team. Ladies, you can send your unsigned burps into the show if you like, do not however, I repeat, do not send in your unsigned farts. Another Jew hater that called in last week to say a happy Jew birthday to Rawdog, called in today to say he’s not antisemitic, but we all know better – you can just hear it over the phone. I was almost expecting that guy to say something like, “now that Obama is in office, they’re tearing out the rose garden and putting in a watermelon patch.” like the racist that he his. OH!