Tag Archives: Everlast

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 4/25/2012

Posted on by
1

Hello and welcome my friends to another wonderfully insightful edition of The Jason Ellis Show Re-Cap.   Today started out with the boys going a bit Eco friendly.  Grass topped bars, grass carpets, and log cars.  These seem like interesting ideas until you start thinking, who’s gonna mow the bar?  And if you throw up will there be a dead spot.  Would dogs be allowed in, and who’s cleaning up that mess?  Probably best to just leave things the way they are.  Well punch me in the cock, Rawdog had a rather successful date. At least as successful as one would expect from Rumble McTumble Bum.  This mystery internet woman seems very impressed with Josh and even said he looks better in person than on his profile pic. Fist Bump.  I believe it is safe to say this girl will be swallowing some Tussin in the near future if you know what I’m saying.  Yeah, you know what I’m saying. Today is also Rude Juduesday and Jude ruffled some feathers when he came in wearing a Vick jersey and totally defended dog fighting. Said dogs aren’t humans & he don’t give a fuck about a dog. This struck a nerve with many as expected but a mans opinion is his own.

Teens are fucktarded, as we all know.  But they have brought it to a whole new level, they are drinking hand sanitizer to get drunk.  What ever happened to the good ol grab and dash? That was a highly effective way of getting booze. Kids these days.  We also heard some fucking awesome mash ups and parody songs, so shout out to Cruiser Boy and Mike Higgins, great job dudes. Jason’s book is now on the New York Times Best Seller list at number 23. That’s a huge fucking accomplishment from a dude who “can’t read or write.”

A guy named Gordy called the VIP line.  This lucky 19 year old bastard got the number from his copy of I’m Awesome but not the circle jerk names. Hope is still out there, don’t give up.  Other news, Octomom is a hoe bag and Chis Angel is a douche, as if we didn’t already know.

A bit of serious information, between May 8th and May 22nd download the song “Long Time” by Everlast. Precedes will help to find a better treatment for Cystic Fibrosis.

And I know that you are reading this Mr. McConaughey so will you please get your shirtless ass into the show, and Matthew, we can do this the easy way or the, aww fuck it, I can’t remember the quote.  Much like I can’t ever remember what your mum says because it just sounds like shes gargling cum. And she is, OH!

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 4/24/2012

Posted on by
1

Rawdog’s computer

Today started off with a little bit of “Can You Feel Me Dog Center” because Ellis was about 15 minutes late to the show, and Rawdog’s computer is freaking so there was almost no “New Music Tuesday” for you – which I know some of you would be totally bummed about. But low and behold, he used Ellis’ computer and New Music Tuesday went ahead as scheduled. Rawdog however prepared a game to play, as long as they have a printer, but the printer is also throwing an error. Rawdog is literally losing his shit over his computer not working, which I can kind of understand. He does have another date tonight though! You have to love the Swinghouse Studios, what a shithole. Tully grew a massive set of tits today, he took sole control of his kid this morning at 7AM, did dishes, laundry, went grocery shopping, made lunches, and then took off his apron and bra to let the girls breathe. He actually called it being “Super Dad”, but I like to think of it as “I’m The Woman In This Relationship”.

There might be a new, massive fight at Ellismania 8, but it’s not confirmed yet and if the past date changes are any indication, this massive fight may or may not happen so Ellis isn’t mentioning anything more about it right now. Robby Gordon and Everlast called into to the show today, the more import conversation of the two is that Everlast is campaigning for Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, Great Strides National Walk Event. As you may know, his daughter was born with cystic fibrosis – hence the song “Sixty-Five Roses”. Next were people calling in for a “Get The Cock Off Your Chest” segment, for anonymity sakes we’ll give all the callers the name “Toshua Michmond”, and now here are the calls:

A Rawdog love story

  • Caller was getting ready to bang this hot chick but couldn’t get hard because he couldn’t stop thinking about his girlfriend and didn’t want to hurt her. He ended up quitting his job because he didn’t want to deal with the whole issue, and right there is where Ellis pounced on him and made him admit that he didn’t quit only because of this hot chick and their sexual tension.
  • Caller had called the cops on his crazy neighbor who would go out in the middle of the street and start yelling obscenities. The police came, crazy neighbor guy dropped on the street like he was making fucking snow angels, had a heart attack and died. He feels like he killed his neighbor and obviously the neighbor’s family is / was very upset.
  • Caller got a divorce from his wife and started to have an affair with this other married chick who was going through marriage counseling, she ended up getting a divorce but he’s not sure he’s totally into her. He feels like he might have helped in her decision to get a divorce.

  • A Cinemax story

    Caller went to a concert with his wife and their friends, went back to the friends’ house and got all wasted. Caller leaves and goes home to go to bed. He wakes up to what he thought was his wife on top of him giving him a blowjob, gets inside of her and dropped an internal load. She gets up and leaves and he hears his mother-in-law say “thank you for fucking me” (or something like that) – so yeah – he fucked his mother-in-law, and came inside the same hole that his wife came out of. Fucking gangster as fuck.

  • Is your husband cheating?

    Caller who is married says his wife has put on weight and he wants to tell her she’s fat and disgusting, but he doesn’t want to hurt her. He says they have really crazy sex, she treats him really good, and he doesn’t want to be with her just for the sex, so he feels guilty. The answer? Television is telling his wife that she is a big fat pig.

  • Caller says he came in his shirt a bunch of times and his mom had to hand wash it, which is pretty much nothing when compared to the other guy who came in his mother-in-law.

  • AOL chatrooms

    Caller used to go into AOL chatrooms where he met this chick. Caller met up with this chicks guy friend to make sure he wasn’t a whack job or something. The guy comes over, seduces him and asks if he had anything sweet to put on his dick. Caller busts out grape jelly and the other guy puts it on caller’s pecker as well as lathered up his ass with jelly too and then started blowing him, and ate the jelly out of his asshole. He never did meet the chick, and there probably never was a chick in the first place.

  • Caller said his friend is in the Navy and was on the same boat that dumped Bin Laden’s body overboard. Caller started sleeping with his friend’s girlfriend, his sister, and his mom. The brother of the guy in the Navy caught him on several different occasions. He also said the mother and sister used to babysit him when he was younger. I’m not sure how much I believe this one, I mean banging the guys girlfriend, sister, and mother? That’s a super rare trifecta.
  • Caller said he preferred to fantasize about his girlfriend getting fucked by his buddies so he can bust a nut. It’s also possible that one or more of his friends might have banged out his stripper / whore girlfriend. The caller claims that he just thinks of her being a dirty whore, but won’t admit what he’s envisioning – such as exactly what he’s looking at in his fantasy, which means he’s imagining cock sliding in and out. He may just have some sort of complex or something else, but finally admitted during one fantasy his friend had a bigger cock than he did – which seems to confirm what he’s probably envisioning the most

There were 2 or 3 other calls at the end that I don’t really remember, so they must not have been too entertaining – I think one had something to do with a guy, a whore, she kept leaving him and coming back and she was pregnant and it wasn’t his kid. In preparation for tonight’s date, Toshua (I mean Joshua) went and got his shitty car washed, being Jewish (I mean thrifty), he got the middle priced wash. By the way, did you ever hear about the brother you never had? No? I’ll tell you. Your mom successfully gave birth after several hours of labor. The doctor took the baby and left the room to perform some tests. Several minutes later, the doctor returned with the baby in his arms and then suddenly began to punch it, kick it, throw it about the room and slam it against an adjacent wall. Your mom screamed, “OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BABY?!” To which the doctor replied, “April Fool’s! It was already dead!” OH!

And that’s when your mom started hooking

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 3/14/2012

Posted on by
2

Happy Steak and BJ Day! The guy that thought this up is either a genius (doubt it) or have some really high expectations (and lives with his mom).  Ellis changed the date for Ellismania 8, again.  Raise your hand if your surprised by this, no, no one. Ok lets continue then. He said that there is a chance that it can get on some HDNet TV thing so that everyone can see it, even the Canadians, who apparently need the HD due to their beady eyes. Oh, Lindsay Lohan hit some dude, tried to change seats, was fucked up, bla bla bla, who the fuck cares anyway.  Moving on.

Ellis talked to Kit Cope @KitCope and it sounds like Kit is going to fight some of the Ellis Fam in a flag football leg kick type of thing, I’m not too sure, I was looking at, umm, photography.  Blame my ADD.  But on the bright side Cogdeth @Cogdeth is probably going to be getting a new set of crutches. Congratulations to you.  While on the subject of EM8, Big B @OGEverlast will be playing and there’s still plans for a bikini contest.  If any girls would like me to help in any way please contact me.

After much of this nonsense and shenanigans shit got deep.  Ellis tried to offer Josh his Audi to help him financially but Josh refused saying that he doesn’t feel right taking the car from Ellis. Josh is starting to run out of money and he is beginning to get worried that the higher-ups at Sirius aren’t going to offer him a job, but Tully thinks otherwise.  Lets all hope Tully is right.  I think the show would suffer great loss if Josh left.

And on today’s Worlds Greatest Wednesday top 10:

1.Nothing

2.Nothing

3.Nothing

Fuck this you get the idea.

Then finally the guys talked about vacation, take it sooner or later, either way it doesn’t matter we will be treated with The Best Of Ellis, face it, even hearing the same bit for the 20th time is still funny, kinda, sometimes, ok maybe not.  But vacation is vacation, much like the million of tourists that vacation through you mums massive cavernous vagina! OH!

 

Show Re-cap For Thursday 3/1/2012

Posted on by
Reply

It’s Thursday and some of you have long balls, some of you have baby balls, some of you have normal balls, and some of you have no balls. Amtrak tweeted Ellis during the show, and I find that completely fucking strange. The Twitter exchange went like this, and if you don’t believe it, click on their names to see each status:

Amtrak: We heard on your show you enjoy train travel. When was the last time you traveled with us?

EllisMate: Can I get a room on a train to San Francisco? I want to party on a train!

Amtrak: We do have rooms on our trains and we do love to party…to an extent! ;)

EllisMate: Sponsor me! We’ll do our show on a train! Where’s a good place to go from LA?

Amtrak: We would love to talk more about this with you! We will be sending you an email soon!

EllisMate: jellis@siriusxm.com Boom!

Amtrak: While we don’t have a route to Vegas, our route to San Diego is quite scenic. Do you have any preferences on destination?

Death! Death! Die! Music VideoHow hilarious is that? I’ll tell you, it’s a goddamned knee-slapper “we do love to party…to an extent!” Seriously? Party as in juice boxes and snacks? This makes me think that maybe one day Death! Death! Die! will have a new video out that includes all their sponsors. It might look something like the picture on the right.

B-Real (@B_Real420) was on the show today, interviews with him are usually pretty great because he has some of the best stories about weed, gang bangin’, gettting shot, etc. He’s also part of a march to help legalize weed (surprise!) and is of course an advocate of the legalization of marijuana. He talked about when he was shot at the age of 17, which was a pretty gnarly story that I’m not even going to try and reiterate, it’s much better to hear him tell the story. Everlast (@OGEverlast) also stopped by the show today and talked about his upcoming tour, tripping acid at Timothy Leary’s house, and his songs – he also played some live on the show. He sounds so good it’s hard to tell if he’s live or if their playing a recorded version, that’s one of the marks of a great artist.

And that’s all got for you today, but that should be enough. Peace and I’m OUT! And inside your mother. OH!