Show Re-cap For Tuesday 3/6/2012

ElephantitisHey, it’s “Big Balls” Tuesday and that is no laughing matter. Elephantitis of the nuts is a serious issue affecting at least a handful of people in the world. Speaking of big balls, Rawdog revealed he almost choked to death on a butterscotch candy when he was kid and now he won’t eat them anymore, I assume because he’s afraid he’ll die. I think this is probably where his “small throat” excuse comes from considering he can’t swallow pills or even a mouthful of liquid. Thankfully though, Tully has attended baby CPR classes so should Rawdog start choking on his own spit, Tully can save his life. So naturally, it was time to get Rawdog over his fear of butterscotch hard candies. Will and Dan came in with some butterscotch candies, it took awhile but he was finally victorious over the candy and did not die! Shout out to that legend of a man, beating out a butterscotch candy. Fucking gangster.

Come at me eseTully, Rawdog, and Jude were trash talking and challenging each other to a book report-off. I think I’ve officially heard it all now, especially when Rawdog busted out an “ese” while tough talking Jude. I don’t know much about Jude and his reading habits, but if speech habits have any bearing on the subject, Rawdog’s “book wepowt” is going to be full of mistakes. Tully seems like the front runner on this one, I mean he did go to Oxford, not to mention he can now perform baby CPR. That has to add something to his book report skills, right? On the other hand, Jude just might come out with a masterpiece, especially if he does it while on ketamine.

Mauro RanalloThere was a whole metric fuckload of talk about the recent Rush Limbaugh “scandal” and what is right or wrong or acceptable, advertising, who’s a prostitute or not, etc. It was supposed to be “Dude am I slut? Rush Limbaugh edition” but instead it turned into a circle jerk discussion about freedom of speech. In other news, Bro Brogan (@joerogan) apparently tried to get hair implants and now has a scar from it. I think we can all agree that the “bald” or shaved head look is way more popular today than it ever was. By the way, have you seen Mauro Ranallo after he shaved his head? He looks fucking hilarious / horrible with a shaved head. He also shakes his head a lot when talks and kind of reminds me of Seth MacFarlane.

BellaEllisBelladonna was on the show today and she’s bald too, I mean she has a shaved head now. But her cookie is probably bald as well. She used to come in back when the show was first starting out, and she was always a pretty cool guest. The major topic while she was there was people calling in with strange things they found sexy or hot or whatever. There were quite a few “strange” ones, but I think the blockbuster of the bunch was a guy that called in and said after doing some coke and drinking, he would put lube on his dick, tie rubber bands around his cock to keep it hard, penetrate his ass, wash it off, and then suck his own cock. I think what made the story even better was how matter of fact and dead serious he was while discussing it. He sounded very believable as well, especially with all his cokehead pauses while telling a story.

In other big news, Pendarvis has cleared the way to move the Friday morning shows to it’s normal afternoon time. He says this should happen not this coming Friday, but the next Friday. And you know what that means, the move is probably gonna be delayed indefinitely. HAHAHAHAA Get it? No? Well, fuck you then. Alternatively, you could fuck your mom, everyone else has. OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 3/5/2012

It’s just another manic Monday, I wish it was Sunday, fuck that – no I don’t. Sunday’s suck just as bad as Mondays. The Bangles were fuckin’ dumb as shit, man. What I really just want to get across to you here is that it is Monday. So, sounds like Tully has invented something for babies, he’s even got a lawyer involved. He hasn’t eluded to what it is exactly and it doesn’t sound like he’s going to, at least anytime soon. Best of luck to him and his invention as well as his love for chucking spears.

It’s @DanOD5‘s birthday today, he’s 12 now! And Kirk Cameron is fucktarded. Rawdog went on another date and also has a setup for a different date and it sounds like this date might be about a threesome! Or it could be about Rawdog banging this chick while her other guy friend sits in the corner, sweating profusely and masturbating. She mentions something about “it would help if you were into polyamorous relationships”, and apparently she hooks up with another dude who also has online dating profile. So the suggested date includes her, the hookup guy, and Rawdog. I think they may want to treat him as a sex doll.

Dammit JimThe Backbone (@CullenSaidThis) interviewed George Takei today and asked him if and when he was going on The Jason Ellis Show. He was incredibly creepy with his voice and flirting towards Ellis, saying he can’t wait for their “m-e-a-t-i-n-g”. Wow. He also say’s he working on his jealous husband to allow him to go on the show. Moving on, the guys were asking for some suggestions for possible guests on the show. A lot of good ideas came up, some more likely than others, but good none the less. Hopefully something works out on that front.

The show went back to Rawdog and his father’s speech impediment. Rawdog completely denies that he or his dad has a speech problem, but it seems most everyone else in the world hears it, except him. In frustration, Rawdog had his sister Gabby call in to listen to the clips of the Dogfather saying certain words where he clearly is mispronouncing them. Instead of Gabby admitting that any of them have speech issues, she says, “You know both my brothers have a learning disability” I fucking cried laughing for several minutes while Rawdog was dumbfounded at what his sister just said. It was so fucking epic, maybe even just slightly more epic than how your mom looks getting an angry dragon. OH!

Show Re-cap For Friday 3/2/2012

It’s Friday you fucking animals! And who gives a fuck? Not me, not you, and not anyone we know. So let’s jump right into the mix here and see how the guys planned to top off an already stellar week of shows, shall we? We shall!

Ellis had a sleepover with Mayhem (@mayhemmiller) so he could be up and ready to come back on the show this morning. Mayhem damn near burned down the studio on his first time back in like 8 months and huffed some canned compressed air! He was so full of energy that I think he started to get on everyone’s nerves in the studio for a short while (it’s damn early for his high energy craziness), but still – he was pretty fucking hilarious. Mayhem said he hasn’t been on the show because he lost his license, which is probably true.

Dan the intern got a new nickname, “Madame Seduce-a”, sounds hot right? Rawdog was temporarily known as “Hot Pockets”, Ellis was temporarily known as “Frozen Pants”, for putting his pants in the freezer, and Tully was temporarily known as “C.B. Dollaway”.

Since it is Friday, and I don’t give a fuck, and nobody else gives a fuck, and because I’m ready to blow this taco stand, I’m ending this mother bitch right here and right now. And guess what else? Yup. You’re mom is still a massive whore, but again, nobody cares because it’s Friday. Let her whore it up, stick things all up in her holes, whatever she wants. FREEZE MY PANTS TONIGHT!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 3/1/2012

It’s Thursday and some of you have long balls, some of you have baby balls, some of you have normal balls, and some of you have no balls. Amtrak tweeted Ellis during the show, and I find that completely fucking strange. The Twitter exchange went like this, and if you don’t believe it, click on their names to see each status:

Amtrak: We heard on your show you enjoy train travel. When was the last time you traveled with us?

EllisMate: Can I get a room on a train to San Francisco? I want to party on a train!

Amtrak: We do have rooms on our trains and we do love to party…to an extent! ;)

EllisMate: Sponsor me! We’ll do our show on a train! Where’s a good place to go from LA?

Amtrak: We would love to talk more about this with you! We will be sending you an email soon!

EllisMate: jellis@siriusxm.com Boom!

Amtrak: While we don’t have a route to Vegas, our route to San Diego is quite scenic. Do you have any preferences on destination?

Death! Death! Die! Music VideoHow hilarious is that? I’ll tell you, it’s a goddamned knee-slapper “we do love to party…to an extent!” Seriously? Party as in juice boxes and snacks? This makes me think that maybe one day Death! Death! Die! will have a new video out that includes all their sponsors. It might look something like the picture on the right.

B-Real (@B_Real420) was on the show today, interviews with him are usually pretty great because he has some of the best stories about weed, gang bangin’, gettting shot, etc. He’s also part of a march to help legalize weed (surprise!) and is of course an advocate of the legalization of marijuana. He talked about when he was shot at the age of 17, which was a pretty gnarly story that I’m not even going to try and reiterate, it’s much better to hear him tell the story. Everlast (@OGEverlast) also stopped by the show today and talked about his upcoming tour, tripping acid at Timothy Leary’s house, and his songs – he also played some live on the show. He sounds so good it’s hard to tell if he’s live or if their playing a recorded version, that’s one of the marks of a great artist.

And that’s all got for you today, but that should be enough. Peace and I’m OUT! And inside your mother. OH!