Category Archives: Overviews & Re-Caps

Overviews & re-caps of broadcasts from The Jason Ellis Show.

Show Re-cap For Monday 6/4/2012

Posted on by
Reply

Why is everyone such a cunt today? Fuck it, who cares, let’s just get right into this fucker of mothers Monday re-cap. Dingo was on the show today, and contrary to popular (or unpopular) belief, he has never licked dog balls and Rawdog’s pubic hair is like furry chocolate – or so he says. Ellis got in trouble because his son told mommy that he was being called a drama queen while he was camping, but Ellis swears he didn’t make him eat rocks or anything. Ellis locked his keys in his rental car so he smashed the window to get in. I think most of us at one point has locked our keys in our vehicles, but here’s my suggestion to you, and it’s a good one – I know because I’ve done it before. Look around for a shady looking dude, offer him $20 if he can prove how good of a criminal he is by breaking into your vehicle without actually breaking anything. BOOM! You’re in your vehicle within 5 minutes and shady guy gets a free twenty dollar rock to smoke on.

More talk about going to Thailand, staying in a hut, and tripping mushrooms. Dingo had some experience with Thailand, mainly getting some type of food poisoning or something right before he was to leave and spent 36 hours on a plane shitting and throwing up. Another new intern / call screener today, my Internet cut out for his entire introduction and came back after someone was calling him a liar – so I have no fucking clue what that’s about. But I do know this, his tentative nickname is Bitch Taco. Mouth guards came in today for the guys to wear at Ellismania 8 and so suggestions for what to write on them started flying. I think Rawdog’s is (or should be) “ManBoy”, Tully seems to really like “Princess” or possibly “Fuck Canada” (if it’s cool with Canadians), Dingo will be “Dr. Cunt” or “Way Gay”, I’m not sure Ellis really chose one yet – the one that was discussed is too long I believe, and @Butterballs_EM6 will most likely be going with “Pizza”. Kids are durable as shit, just ask any parent who’s dropped or banged their child’s head on shit, that’s why some kids have dents in their heads.

Apparently the new thing for celebrities is to get a “party girl IV drip” or some shit. According to Simon Cowell, it made him feel warm and fuzzy and he had energy for a few days. To be fair, he says the same thing after he’s been penetrated in the ass by several men. Cue callers who had stories of using IV drips during and/or after partying, such as a group of dudes who go out partying and bring their paramedic friend who has a cooler full of IVs and he administers it to them after they’ve partied themselves stupid. By the sounds of callers, people are abusing IVs left and right, they fucking chill them and dump that shit in their veins to help cool themselves down, etc.

So many people have been calling lately asking what’s up with “Red Dragons” and one caller capitalized on that today by asking “What’s up with all these dragons?” And another caller asked for a “Red Dragons” because he wasn’t a fucking retard caller. That unleashed a barrage of callers asking for a “Red Dragons” for one thing or another until the point that it became ridiculous, but in a good way. One of the toppers at the ending was a guy saying he just took a big fat Brad (a shit, named for another previous caller) and sure as shit, he got one. I thought those were pretty fucking funny, so you better have god damned laughed too! There must have been fifty fucking people calling in today asking for a “Red Dragons” for doing this, that, or some other thing but I digress. The big story here is while your mom was on vacation in Detroit, she was walking to the store for cigarettes and blunt wraps as a car pulls up. The guy in the car could tell your mom was ready to make a few bucks and asks her if she’s “working”. Your mom responded “as always honey” and turns on her charm and says “Tell me it’s true what they say about black guys” He then proceeds to stab her 37 times and steals her purse. And that’s how she met your father, Leeland. OH!

Show Re-cap For Friday 6/1/2012

Posted on by
Reply

Rawdog’s plight

It’s June 1st and it’s #WGAFF, coincidence? Probably not. I mean, there’s no significance to it at all, it is what it is. Who cares, let’s get into some shit shall we? Don’t everybody answer all at once! If you answered “yes” to that last question, you’re in for a treat, and if you answered “no”, well you’re still in for a treat! See, it’s a win-win situation all the way around for you lucky bastards, and it’s all because I love you. Ellis says he fucks ugly chicks all the time, he had gotten a prostitute a few weeks ago who was apparently pretty fugly and he wasn’t even sure she wasn’t a dude, but she pulled out titties so… yeah. Ellis is going camping this weekend, as it turns out, I too am going camping this weekend. The difference? He’s looking forward to it, and I’m not. I’ve camped enough in my life and now I like my creature comforts, plus I won’t be jet skiing so that’s a fuckin’ downer. Rawdog got recognized while he was at the bank today, the teller chick (Meredith) asked if he was “Rawdog” and said she listened everyday. I don’t even need to say this but for posterity sakes, he didn’t hit on her or ask her out or anything.

Canadian protester in the wild

Some guy named “Richard” called into the show and said his testicle never dropped down into his scrotum so he had surgery on his ovary ball, oddly enough, he didn’t even sound Canadian. Apparently some Canadians are really pissed aboot all the Canada jokes on the show eh, and feel like they should get more respecky – but I think that’s just the Canadians that haven’t had a joke sneak into their igloos. New York banned the sale of soda over 16 ounces in some shitholes, what’s up with that New York Silly Nannies? Some pregnant chick was trying to talk her husband into going to EllisMania 8 before she poops a child out of her bearded clam, but the husband was saying it wouldn’t be a good idea. At least that kid has one parent with some sense. Another new call screener today, Cunt Mist, seemed to do a pretty good job on screening calls but a piss poor job on coming into the studio when beckoned. He works at a pretty famous night spot there in Hollyweird or some shit like that. He speaks well, got a good review from a caller or two, and he came up with a game for them to play. I mean holyshit, is this guy trying to get a fucking job as a call screener for the show or is he just @DanOD5‘s less pretty brother?

Old people smell? Who knew!

Ellis wants to go to Thailand and eat rice, which I think is totally doable because I’m pretty sure that rice, tobacco, crazy jungle viruses, and lady-boys are all they have there, right? @JoannaAngel was on the show today, Tully asked if she was getting “sultrier” and I think that made her moist – she’s always had a soft spot for Tully. She also participated in halftime pushups, she’s such a good sport – she’s usually up for anything really, and when I say anything, I mean a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g, hubba-hubba! There was talk about a hand-job reunion for Rawdog, remember – he got jacked off by 3 shoe talking porn chicks in a bathroom at a premiere party for one of Joanna’s movies. Old people smell is real, that’s not really fucking news though because I could’ve told you that fact back when I was 4 or 5. There’s just no way to confuse the smell of mothballs, musty underwear, and ointment. They played a game where they had to guess if the statement was an MMA move, a gay porn move, or both and the winner gets a lap dance. Rawdog ended up winning and got a lap dance from Joanna while she wore the Hulk Smash Hands and danced to Primus – Jerry Was a Racecar Driver. That might sound a little awkward, but let me assure you that it is far more awkward trying to have sex with your mother only to find all her holes are already filled with cum and raw oysters. OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 5/31/2012

Posted on by
Reply

Weclome to the Dog Center Re-Cap, and now its over. Back to the Jason Ellis Show re-cap. This re-cap is dedicated to the Ellis Show that was dedicated to Clint “Toughest Mother Fucker Alive” Eastwood who turned 82 today, happy birthday you bad ass mother fucker. Ellis let Devin play hookey for half a day to go to the beach and had an awesome time. Makes you remember that days like that stick with a kid forever, thats the first lesson. The second lesson is that pearls make oysters and are the strongest man who is scared, or somethin like that. Blame Tully. West Coast Customs hasn’t called Jason back yet and hes a little nervous but between you and me, I have a little insite on the A6K!

In the news, a woman caused a 30 minute traffic backup when she got out of her car and started vigerously masturbating. I can’t think of a better reason to be late for work. The Biggest Bitch Fight came back today, and after almost an hour of calls, the fight is set. Unfortunatly the names of both contestants were’nt mentioned, but I’m sure it will be a thunderous bout. Will brought in an old segment where Josh is warning about the dangers of robotic sex. It wasn’t bad, it was actually a little hard to tell then from now. But more inportantly, Josh had a second date, AND HE MADE OUT WITH HER! But theyr’e propbably broken up now. The general thought is that MC Bugaboo doesn’t know how to kiss, so Ellis is going to have a contest with Penthouse girls to see who is really better at making out. Secretly though, they just want to make out with hot chicks, don’t tell Penthouse.

There was more Canibal news, yum, and there’s going to be a jet ski party at whichever lake that Big Fucking Mega Boat will be filmed at. Final calls were rather good today, a gal called in saying that Ellis is an inspiration to her due to her horrific childhood and that she is greatful for making her laugh. But on the other end of the spectrum, Traniville Lector called in and was quite bland, slow, and rather disturbing which is a great way to end the show, and this re-cap. But it was nice of yor hairy bushed, flat chested, vagina slurping mom to call in, OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 5/30/2012

Posted on by
1

Hot chicks here, hot chicks there, but there are no hot chicks around you. Why, you ask? Because according to Rawdog there is only about 2,000 girls that rate a 10 in the entire world and chances are you don’t know her. Don’t fel bad, neither do I.  The big announcement yesterday was about the indoor truck series and how awesome it is going to be. Its like truck racing and moto had a bastard child and fed it Red Bulls. The talk turned to NASCAR and Jason, Tully, and Josh don’t seem to understand its popularity, but two million beer drinkin, burger eatin, Camel smokin americans can’t be wrong. And hockey, that too, except its Canadian and I don’t know what Canadians smoke. But non the less, they’re both great to have an ice cold brew to. Cheers.

Today was also the delayed New Music Tuesday, you can guess how that went, some good, some fucking aweful. I would go into more detail but that would mean I would have to remember it and living through it once was enough. Theres a new call screener, again. It appears we will have a new one every day this week, what fun. There was a new game played today also, The Ultimate Phone Caller! This is where two callers pretend to fight one another MMA style and pretend to win the pretend fight. It goes to show you that even lame bits that don’t really work can end up being funny.

Today was also Worlds Greatest Wednesday, and the topic was Worlds Richest Person Whos Face You’d Like To Punch, or something like that. And heres your list:

10.  I forget

9.  I missed it

8. I dont know

7. Sarah Jessicah Parker

6. Thom Yorke

5. Donald Trump (maybe)

4. Steven Seagal

3. Donald Trump (again, maybe)

2. Chad Kroeger

1. Eli Manning

And that is your Worlds Greatest Wednesday, sort of. Moving on, has a cross dressing scarf wearing pig on the loose, Affliction needs to go away, even the girls agree, Tapout is still cool, and the final callers weren’t too bad, suprisingly.

I apologise for some of the things I missed in this re-cap, the mobil app on my phone kept losing the data connection and I’m pretty sure it was because your moms ginormous gunt was blocking the 3G signal as she layed int he sun, OH!

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 5/29/2012

Posted on by
Reply

If your reading this its because your one of the cool kids and just so you know, being cool is cool, so be cool to stay cool and then were all cool. Before the show Ellis spent some time on the beach where he met a crab. Now this was apparently no ordinary crab, this was a moto crab and he had many questions about Vilipoto. Why a crab would care escapes me but hell, if i found a talking crab I would probably try to aswer all the questions he had. Jude came in today and gave us some very great advise, NEVER take Cialis and Ecstacy at the same time. It might seem like a good idea, but according to Jude, your heart will probably blast out of your chest. Also on more drug educating news, don’t eat fruit while on Cialis. I don’t know why but this one guy that my buddies brother knew did and he died. There, thats all the proof you need.

Canada has severed feet popping up everywhere, this time it was mailed. Great job on suppying the show with material Canada, keep up the good work. There is a new call screener and so far today he has done a fine job, there was a drastic decrease in shitty phone calls today. He currently is being called The Navarro, but I expect that to change shortly because there can only be one Navarro, and only one. The main test today was when the guys played Dude Am I A Slut, and I must say that the FNG did just fine. The first call was a Tranny, but then it happened. The DAIAS call that all other calls will be measured upon, Jennifer. Jennifer apparently was on a 7 day cruise and fucked 6 guys not counting her boyfriend who was with her, and 2 of which were a threesome with her girlfriend. Congratulations Jennifer you slut of all sluts.

Jessie Johnson was in the studio today to promote his new energy drink, Speed. He talked about racing, and he announced that there is an announcement. An 81 year old woman almost died skydiving, and a naked man in Florida got shot by police because he was eating another mans face. Tumble Bum doesn’t like potatoe slad be cause it, “is still a salad” which made everybody stop what they were doing as say, what the fuck? And finally Uncle Mayhem came in today and said that he was relieved that he is no longer in the UFC. It feels like a weight has been lifted off of him. He will continue to train his other team mates and I have a good feeling that Mayhem will still be around the UFC one way or another.  Did you know that you had a brother? No? It turns out that your moms pussy was so hairy when he was born, that he died of rugburns, OH!