Category Archives: Overviews & Re-Caps

Overviews & re-caps of broadcasts from The Jason Ellis Show.

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 10/3/2012

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Young Rawdog playing the role of “The Kid” in his remake of Purple Rain

New Death! Death! Die! song before the show started today, called “In The Water” and it was a stone cold gas, my grandchildren. Ellis is ready to get his kids some motorized shit, like maybe a little 50 cc bike or a quad or something, he just has to find massive helmets for their massive domes. He wants them to be around moto, the outdoors, life, fires, animals, and nature and shit. I’m pretty sure all parents want their kids to enjoy being active outside in one way or another, I mean, except Rawdog’s parents apparently – because he can’t ride a bike. It’s hip to be square cool to be gay, and now people are waiting to see when kids will start pretending to be gay because it’s so cool, even though they are not gay – like how suburban white kids try to act all ghetto and gangster. Hey, are you into moisturizer and tight jeans, are you a metrosexual? Are you sure you don’t just want to watch soap suds flowing through the crack of a dude’s ass? DING!

Double rainbows make Wolfknives cry

We got to hear some Conjoined Twins-tallica, Double Rainbow-tallica, and I’m Gonna Cut Off My Mother’s Tits-tallica today – the consensus was that the overall best one was Double Rainbow-tallica. You know what all that spawned? Half a metric fuck ton of calls with the same two useless comments about the double rainbow dude, as well as other calls from bitch-ass ass-bitches with similarly shitty-poop poop-shit comments. Everyone on the show has seen the movie Death Becomes Her, but only Rawdog saw it in a weird way, it’s just the way he watches things… weirdly. Tully thinks I should start keeping track of how many times Rawdog complains because apparently I have nothing better to do. And he’s mostly correct, the problem is that I can only count to #FuckTully HAHAHAA! I’m a slayer of things that I make up and find funny but nobody else does! It’s a gift.

Somebody will be going to hell for this one, and it could be you

Hey, lucky us, we missed NMT yesterday. And that luck got ran the fuck over with a dump truck full of cancer and AIDs (otherwise known as CAIDs) when we got NMT on the show today. Rawdog did however throw us all for loop when he first stated that he was going to play a new Tragically Hip song, and instead he finally played a song from Tully’s album, Retrofit. But don’t let that fool you, Rawdog still hates Tully, Ellis, Will, the show, fruit, and all of us.

An impressively racist Canadian Mountie called into the show to share his super secret information on how he tends to racially profile people because of their color. It shouldn’t have surprised anyone listening, but I like to pretend there’s at least 1 person living under a rock that had their mind blown. Everyone would like to start smoking weed legally, which is nothing new, people have wanted this freedom for a long time. Hopefully we get to see it legalized in our lifetime, but I’m not holding my breath. I don’t trust people in general, much less the gubment.

An offer went out to Rawdog from some dude that supposedly works in corporate for McDonald’s. He’s offering Rawdog 1 year’s worth of free McDonald’s to take the fleshlight picture we’ve all been looking forward to for 2 days. If anything is going to convince Rawdog, I assume it’s 365 McNugget combo meals. Keep your fingers crossed. Just so you know, you’ll have to uncross your fingers at some point, because how else are you going to ram your fist into your mom’s cavernous pussy when she’s horny and has no other takers? OH!

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 10/2/2012

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Hello my friends and thank you for joining me again. Ever wonder what God’s dick looks like? Me neither until Jason started talking about it today. What ever it looks like I’m sure it is shiny and can change shapes and sizes, you know, for her pleasure. Lightning Train got into an accident today. He’s okay and it wasn’t his fault, it was the woman’s fault. I’m not being sexist and blaming her because she is a woman, I’m blaming her because she is a woman and statistics show its her fault. Jason, Josh, and Will all have been in recent accidents caused by women, that is a lot of vagina wrecking cars. Rawdog explained his accident in detail where he described his reaction as being in “Matrix bullet time” which means he curled up in the fetal position and probably peed himself a little. Exciting news for the up and coming EllisMania 9, Travis Pastrana and Dave Mirra are going to fight each other! Both have told Ellis to hold them to this no matter what and I think that this is a fight that we all can count on. Street Bike Tommy wants to fight also and Andy Bell is offering to take his official position as the Card Girl. Fitting after he bitched out of the last fight. Baby, who doesn’t go to Vegas because his wife is having a baby?

Rude Jude was in today and was sporting a sick ass shirt according to Ellis. They talked about underwater boxing, surfer dick heads, helping the next generation skaters, a flying jet ski something or other, and Rawdog’s girlfriend. Everyone thinks that she should come in but the Dog doesn’t think that’s a good idea. What could go wrong, its just a little social gathering among friends, right? Maybe she really likes Gorgonzola Sauce on Pasta, maybe she likes watching hoarders, maybe she needs to be put into place. Which is what the guys brought up next, giving Josh relationship advise like foreplay is not always necessary and that he needs to show her who’s the boss!

A gym teacher is suing because a little shit head kicked his knee and the dude can’t whoop the little fucker to put his scrawny ass in place because of these “child abuse” laws. Maybe he needs counseling, maybe he needs to be scared straight, maybe his parents need a swift kick in the ass. There’s a lot of old people in government and soon those dudes will die and then a newer and fresher group of old dudes will be there that will be slightly cooler than the last. Uncle Mayhem is texting the boys and he “loves them more than vinyl!” Over and over and over again.

Kelly Shibari (@KellyShibari) came into the studio today. She is a porn star, but she isn’t the typical porn girl that most would think of. She is a plus size girl and gets tied up and all kinds of crazy shit. She likes her fans and has even done some scenes with a few. She likes oral, choking, face fucking, Rammstein, spring mornings, camp fires, and merkins. You can find her at (insert social media page)KellyShibari and at paddedkink.com.

hahahahahaha, I still cant stop giggling at this!

If you were wondering what scientists were doing with all that research money they get, well breaking news, they’re digging a fucking hole to see whats at the bottom. Final calls were brief, for me at least, my player fucked up and when I returned Tony’s show was on, but this is how I imagined they went. “Hey I want to ask Ellis something” “Hey what hello am I on the air/” “Lets go Marlins” “Fuck Tully” “Is it supposed to burn when I pee?” There was no New Music Tuesday also, and this made me happier than yer mum with a bag of dicks and a bucket of Vaseline, OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 10/1/2012

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Rawdog’s general message to everyone during the weekends

It’s fucking October already? Next think you know, it’ll still be October – freaky, right? First up on the show today was Dingo, sans Momma Dingo, he was a few minutes late because he was busy creeping on the casting line-up for the hot chick agency next door. Sounds like he’s got an ingrown toenail growing, aka hammer time, which sucks. Ellis has a bunch of video and pictures to put up on EllisMania.com from his pool party, he just has to review it all before it starts going up. He had to kick some sky diver dude out of the party for being a dick side burn. He also might have broke his toe or something while he was trying a Triple Lindy, made famous by Thornton Melon. Rawdog was there, he got really high and forgot to send Dingo an iPhone recording of the Big Fucking Mega Boat movie that was screened at the pool party – which really means that he hates Dingo. Tully, the only clear thinking adult there, gave Ellis a record player and records as a housewarming gift.

Rawdog’s most likely candidate for his horse

Hey, Tully has a disease, it’s called Dupuytren’s Disease! Chalk that one up as something else Tully has and you don’t. The guys started planning to go on a horse ride, but alas, they have no rope – so now they’re planning on taking a boat ride. Speaking of boats, Dingo’s conspiracy theory is that the Titanic never sank, it was actually another boat that sank and was all about an insurance scam. Take that James Cameron! Everything is being automated these days, and sometimes that shit is awesome and sometimes it is not. There you go, solid, opinionated reporting is what we do here. Some dude that works at Avon Chateau Lake Louise wants Ellis and everyone to come up and do a show for all 6 of the oil sands workers up in Alberta. What is it with callers saying “I’m the guy in (insert state / province here), like Ellis is going to say, “oh yeah! Fuck, it’s been so long, how have you been?” What’s the deal with that, huh?

Your mom has shit in her coochie

Drew Barrymore shat out a child, Olive, with some art consultant dude. And just for the record, if Tully and his wife ever have a female child, it too will be named Olive. And they totally stole that idea from Drew, because they’re massive Drew Barrymore fans. Junk food eating game today, the guys can see what they’re eating (burgers, fries, & nuggets), but have no idea where it’s from, and they have to describe and rate it as they eat it – and then guess where it’s from. Cumtard came in with the results, sounds like Jack In The Box won the taste test, minus their nuggets that smelled like dirty socks. Staying true to form, Rawdog now hates everyone that has anything to do with the show because he likes a Paul F. Tompkins podcast way, way, better. Some Valerie chick who I assume is Ellis’ publicist popped on the show for a few minutes, she sounds like a pretty cool chick and surprise, I want to see her boobs and it sounds like Ellis wants to bone her. Two weeks from now, the show will be on vacation for 1 week, so don’t be surprised when you hear replays of the show in two weeks. Also, don’t be surprised if you start seeing wads of bloody toilet paper strewn about the house, instead of your typical feminine hygiene products, your mom has been stuffing her twat with toilet paper while she’s on her period. OH!

Show Re-cap For Friday 9/28/2012

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Hair cut? More like hair pie! Bldldldldldl!

Welcome to this Friday’s re-cap. Have a seat anywhere you like, kick back, relax, and let the soothing words of turd talk slowly melt into your pores. Ellis was busy shitting and puking all night long and watching Jaws 1 through 4. Sounds like a 24-hour stomach bug of some kind or maybe food poisoning, but he’s a sick cunt mate, so he powered through and still did a show today. Guess what, THC called in and he’s been sick as fuck too and he’s thinking he had some bad turkey burgers. Speaking of turkey burger, shout out to @mrsjessliv and @bwstrangler on the birth of their child! Good news for Rawdog, one of Katie’s friends who cuts hair, just moved to LA and does home appointments. So sounds like Rawdog might be getting his hair cut once a month while on the show from what I assume is a hot piece of poon.

Dude, take off your pants and get comfortable!

According to a former Abercrombie & Fitch model, he alleges that they flew him to photo shoot where the modeling agent said he needed to look more relaxed. And how do you look more relaxed? By masturbating of course! So he was told to strip down and whack off, while the camera man was nice enough to make him feel more comfortable by stripping himself and then comparing their cocks & balls. Hey, some millionaire dude did so much cocaine that his nose collapsed, that’s gotta make you feel better about your nose, right? Rawdog thinks elephants are the king of the jungle, not lions. But hey, this is coming from a man that thinks salads are pure fucking evil. However, he does want to be a blue whale, which I think is a solid choice. It’s way better than a fuckin’ conch.

What do porn stars and the Titanic have in common?

That dude from that show? Yea, he died in an apparent murder / suicide. He was on some designer drug called “smiles” and killed his landlady, tore apart her kitty, and then something else… wait, no, yea, he died. There are Fight Club rules and then there are Threesome Club rules: Pump your significant other more than the other one. Marky Mark the jeweler dude was on the show today to deliver a battle axe necklace to Ellis. Wanna know the names of some of the porn stars that going to Ellis’ pool party? Sure you do! Tera Patrick, Missy Martinez, Allison Moore, Emily Parker, Kayla Paige, and Randy Wright, Kendall Karson, and one other gash owner were mentioned.

What’s it like when Momma Dingo comes into the studio?

Everyone masturbates, everyone – even animals. And you know what, it’s all good for you and for them. On the topic of things that are good for you, Dingo stopped by the show today and brought along Momma Dingo, his mother! Gigantic surprise, she has a thick Australian accent, and what sounds like a lisp. She calls him “Luke” when talking to him, but when talking to others about him, it’s “Dingo.” I don’t think I ever knew his real name was Luke, so that’s a bonus. She’s also a Justin Timberlake fan, just in case you were wondering what you might get her for Christmas. Fuck it. So your mom walked into this bar, sits down to order a drink and the bartender asked, “You seem down, why the long face?” She replied, “I have cervical cancer.” OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 9/27/2012

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Welcome to a LIVE Thursday show, brought to you by Pressed Juicery and all their juicy goodness. Apparently some construction dudes accidentally cut the string that connected the two cans between the Swinghouse and New York causing the last two days to be without live shows. Rawdog came in with a new style that he ripped off from Tully but even with the new digs, he’s still not going to race Tiger in a simple bicycle course. The Lightning Train was late today, because of school or some stupid shit. He revealed that he too has kidney stoned and he probably got them from sharing the same drinking fountain

No Bacon shortage around here!

as Rawdizzle. He’s also diabetic and eats like shit 3 out of 7 days, so don’t get too attached to him. Lin Sanity fell out of bed and landed on his 90 percentile melon, but he’s okay. This led to the discussion of kids getting hurt and stitches and breaking bones and shit. I’m a dad and I know from experience, the dents in their head pop back out over time, and if not, just keep that part of their hair a little long. Oh yeah, there’s a bacon shortage, sorry fatty.

If your a Japanese billionaire with a lesbian daughter what do you do? Answer, give a reward to any dude that can get her to marry him. She is looking for a guy with a great sense of humor, loves the outdoors, likes sushi, and has a vagina. Ellis is having a Big Fucking Mega Party at his new house and your invited. Wait, nope sorry, wrong list. He was asking for ideas for things to have at this said party that you won’t be at and most of them sounded pretty awesome. Most of them. Other people should learn to punch themselves in the dick hard enough to prevent any procreation. Ellis suggested that Josh break up with his dominatrix and go stag to the party so he can get some stank on his hang low from some grade A poon. He declined, isn’t that cute. If you are one of the lucky few that get to go to the party, remember party rule #1, don’t put your dick in the chocolate fountain, EVER! This goes for any party.

Someday robots will drive us around so that we can do more important stuff like email or work or jack off while searching midget mermaids on Google. 50 Cent doesn’t want you to masturbate, because the bible said so. But I go to the Church of Hayden and according to Father Tully the 11th commandment says “Thou shalt jack thy dick like thee owes thy money.” Slash wants Jason to go to some show that he is doing because he “adores” Jason. How cute, bromeos. Dude is it gay? FUCK NO, its Slash, you’d jack his dick just out of respect let alone go to a show by request. A bunch of people said that the show went off air and those people were probably really stoked about that because right after they started New Music Tuesday, on Thursday. To my surprise it was mostly good. Rawdiggity played the new A7X, Black Label Society, Dokken, and his pick of the week, some shit by Dead Mouse. Fuck you I know that’s not how its supposed to be spelled but the dude makes the same music I did when I was 6 on my toy keytar, so fuck you. And in case you missed it because you couldn’t listen to the entire show, the new Death!Death!Die! song, Big Fucking Mega Boat, was debut today. Thanks again to Cobra Tits for having a clip of that for us to hear.

Don’t touch your pee pee yo!

The phones started working again just in time for Final Calls, and right at the beginning Jason’s old Australian buddy, Greg, gave us a bit of radio gold with a Gregtallica voice mail. A dude called in seeking advise because his marraige is shitty and his “crazy ass” wife wants to start going to church (I’m not touching that), Burbank Dave called in again with a solution to the phone problems (Maybe he could just let them use his phone), and a dude called in about some liquor that should sponsor DDD, he got through 5 times and each time he picked up where he last left off (my hats off to you sir). Don’t forget that tonight is Donald Schults and Allison Eastwood’s premiere of their new show where they help animals or something. Speaking of helping animals did you know that yer mum used to volunteer down at your local animal shelter? No, that’s probably because she got caught in the middle of a canine orgy, dog food and hair flying everywhere, and that was just from her cunt, OH!