Hello my friends and thank you for joining me again. Ever wonder what God’s dick looks like? Me neither until Jason started talking about it today. What ever it looks like I’m sure it is shiny and can change shapes and sizes, you know, for her pleasure. Lightning Train got into an accident today. He’s okay and it wasn’t his fault, it was the woman’s fault. I’m not being sexist and blaming her because she is a woman, I’m blaming her because she is a woman and statistics show its her fault. Jason, Josh, and Will all have been in recent accidents caused by women, that is a lot of vagina wrecking cars. Rawdog explained his accident in detail where he described his reaction as being in “Matrix bullet time” which means he curled up in the fetal position and probably peed himself a little. Exciting news for the up and coming EllisMania 9, Travis Pastrana and Dave Mirra are going to fight each other! Both have told Ellis to hold them to this no matter what and I think that this is a fight that we all can count on. Street Bike Tommy wants to fight also and Andy Bell is offering to take his official position as the Card Girl. Fitting after he bitched out of the last fight. Baby, who doesn’t go to Vegas because his wife is having a baby?
Rude Jude was in today and was sporting a sick ass shirt according to Ellis. They talked about underwater boxing, surfer dick heads, helping the next generation skaters, a flying jet ski something or other, and Rawdog’s girlfriend. Everyone thinks that she should come in but the Dog doesn’t think that’s a good idea. What could go wrong, its just a little social gathering among friends, right? Maybe she really likes Gorgonzola Sauce on Pasta, maybe she likes watching hoarders, maybe she needs to be put into place. Which is what the guys brought up next, giving Josh relationship advise like foreplay is not always necessary and that he needs to show her who’s the boss!
A gym teacher is suing because a little shit head kicked his knee and the dude can’t whoop the little fucker to put his scrawny ass in place because of these “child abuse” laws. Maybe he needs counseling, maybe he needs to be scared straight, maybe his parents need a swift kick in the ass. There’s a lot of old people in government and soon those dudes will die and then a newer and fresher group of old dudes will be there that will be slightly cooler than the last. Uncle Mayhem is texting the boys and he “loves them more than vinyl!” Over and over and over again.
Kelly Shibari (@KellyShibari) came into the studio today. She is a porn star, but she isn’t the typical porn girl that most would think of. She is a plus size girl and gets tied up and all kinds of crazy shit. She likes her fans and has even done some scenes with a few. She likes oral, choking, face fucking, Rammstein, spring mornings, camp fires, and merkins. You can find her at (insert social media page)KellyShibari and at paddedkink.com.
If you were wondering what scientists were doing with all that research money they get, well breaking news, they’re digging a fucking hole to see whats at the bottom. Final calls were brief, for me at least, my player fucked up and when I returned Tony’s show was on, but this is how I imagined they went. “Hey I want to ask Ellis something” “Hey what hello am I on the air/” “Lets go Marlins” “Fuck Tully” “Is it supposed to burn when I pee?” There was no New Music Tuesday also, and this made me happier than yer mum with a bag of dicks and a bucket of Vaseline, OH!