This gallery contains 49 photos.
Here is a collection of images I’ve created throughout 2013 where Rawdog (aka @RadioTFB) was the focal point. Enjoy. Note: Normally I’d post this at the end of the year, but with Rawdog’s official departure, now seems an appropriate time … Continue reading
Sure gonna miss that guy.
Ah, Monday reader. We meet again. I know why most of you are here today, you’re wondering about Rawdog. So let’s just hurry up and get that out of the way, shall we? He’s gone. Ellis does not want to talk about it, he doesn’t want to take any calls about it, he said it twice on EllisMania.com and that’s all he wants to do. Finally, in the last hour of the show, Ellis addressed it 1 time and 1 time only. Ellis, Tully, & Will all agree that Josh no longer wants to be the person he was or do the stuff he was hired to do. Therefore he quit (took a leave of absence.) and they wish him all the best. Ellis isn’t happy about it, but the show must go on. So… welcome to December. America, how was Thanksgiving? Canada, how was work? New music (kinda) to start the show today, Big Fucking Mega Boat Theme, and then the old intro, which I’m sure Ellis was super happy about. Ellis had a dream that he got cancer and had only 30 days to live. But this isn’t Nightmare On Elm Street, so it’s just a dream. This shouldn’t be surprising to any of us, but Dingo knows quite a fucking lot about Matthew McConaughey and his personal activities with home improvements and such. There was talk about the movie Dallas Buyer’s Club, hence the 30 days to live dream and McConaughey talk. Why don’t musicals make it clear that the movie is going to be a musical? Ellis took his kids to a movie and asked his daughter what she thought about the movie. She replied with “it was okay, too much singing.” See Hollywood? Cut this shit out. Nobody likes your new musical movies, this isn’t 1921. Just stop it. Ellis also took his kids to go ride moto over the weekend and it sounds like all of them had a really fun time, even Snook. Except for the 6 hour drive there. And except for the part where the track was closed for 2 hours. And the part where some bitch at Zaca Station Mx stepped on his dog and told him to get lost. And some dude that insulted his son and called his ex-wife a name. But whatever, emu farm! Wait. No. Fuck that shit. Kids fighting. Ex is pushing buttons. 6 hours worth of driving back with not enough moto. And then Big Daddy Jayce Cakes lost it. Snooks crying, Daddy is crying. And after a long weekend of so much awesome, and then to have it all come crashing down at the end, it’s tough not to break down a little. But such is life.
Noooo! Dingo, don’t look at the phone!
Hey, have you heard about Amazon’s Prime Drone Delivery? Yeah, well, it ain’t happening anytime soon. Speaking something not coming anytime soon, Cumtard is in studio now to play some Ellis Jeopardy. If you’ve been keeping track, the reigning champion is also the score keeper, Tully – and don’t you dare dispute that. Unless you say Dingo of course. He knows everything about everyone. Amazon? Yeah, they had a meeting with Dingo about their Drone, because Dingo is a drone expert. Video games? Who ya gonna call? Dingo. Call of Duty was modeled after Dingo’s life, kind of. McDonald’s? They meet with Dingo to figure out when to bring the McRib back. The show Entourage? Yeah, he wrote it first. Since Dingo knows everything and everyone, it’s only fair that he had to wear the shock collar for the last few questions, which really bummed him out. Actually, he just completely shut down and wouldn’t talk any longer until the shock collar was removed and then BAM! Dingo all back in yo’ face, son! He got mad again when other’s were talking over him and his fascinating Perez Hilton story. Things were getting back to normal when suddenly we heard intensity in ten cities, not the song, but the kind we’ve heard recently between Ellis and Rawdog. This time it was between Ellis and Dingo. Dingo looked at his phone and wasn’t paying attention while Ellis was talking to him. They had a short, small dispute and then things calmed back down and that was the end of Ellis Jeopardy.
Celebrate sober?
Hey, Death! Death! Die! is the #1 metal album in Canada and #1 metal album in America, making it the #1 metal album in the world. Now punch yourself in the dick and know that it’s also the #1 rock album in Canada. No rub your dick until you have some pre-cum and then stop. Now you have blue balls on two different levels. Dr. Drew’s people reached out to Ellis about being on his TV show again, but he won’t be TUF because fuck all that shit, it looks like it hurts! Apparently people are still talking trash on some other people on TV. No, really. Crazy, right? I didn’t get to see a single fucking anything, Happy Thanksgiving long weekend to me, right? Wah. Sounds like Chris Holdsworth won his fight. People are mad at Diaz and Rousey, I guess for not saying something entertaining, not being nice, or some shit like that. Hey, you that guy that goes to the club or the bar and flirts with every chick until you lure a size 14 chick with nice skin into your van? If so, you’re “that creepy guy” other people are snickering at. But if you do that shit online, nobody knows exactly how creepy you are. So get with the times man! Use the Internet. Get that skin suit made! Morph into the beautiful butterfly you’ve been seeing yourself as! Allegedly, of course. Pendarvis’ brother will be on Adventure Time tonight, an episode he wrote and he plays the main character. So be sure to check that and then be really mean to him because that’s what he thrives on. Just kidding. There is a show. He does have a brother. But he probably wouldn’t appreciate you being mean to him. That’s not how you were raised. Most likely. And that pretty much wraps it up. So what’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis. OH!
Rawdog’s still not there. Talk about changing the show intro. I can see you’re deep in thought.
Welcome to the thing. The last show & recap for this week, right before the Thanksgiving holidays coma for us Americans. Before getting into the show, let’s go ahead and quickly address what’s on everyone’s mind. No, Rawdog is not there today. Yesterday, a caller asked where he’s been and Ellis just said he wanted to take some time off and that’s all he knows. Then today, a caller asked where he’s been and Ellis said he’s taken a leave of absence and may never be back. As the show intro was playing, apparently Ellis also said they have to get a new intro and that they should change it anyway. What does all that mean? I don’t know, read into that what you will. But it isn’t looking good. Moving on, Shoebox is in studio today. Ellis was gonna go to the gym today, but he had a vibe and went with it, so he went to the beach instead. While he and Katie and Burger were there, some random people were taking pictures of them. Ellis wants a little bit of side burns tattoo, not mutton chops a la Danzig or anything, but just a touch of knife burns.
Whose gonna blow me? Anyone? Anyone?
Hey stalkers! Wilson revealed that he and Christian live about a block from each other, so get your stalker maps out, make sure you have the proper tools, and you might want to look at a larger kill room. Everyone thinks Wilson is from Germany, some people yell things at him, other’s give him a nod & a wink, and superhero’s look at him in awe. Four years ago the police busted Chewbacca and Elmo in a drug ring in front of Mann’s Chinese Theater, some people got shot, and a woman tourist got stabbed for not giving some homeless, crazy fucker a dollar. So if you’ve been planning to take a vacation to Hollywood to hob nob with the stars, you might wanna think twice about that because you’re basically going to pay for a trip to see and smell piss and shit and crushed dreams and if you’re lucky, you’ll only get robbed and shot once instead of multiple times. According to Mr. Hand, there’s also a “boys town” part of Hollywood that’s well known for a gay scene and getting a blowjob in 45 seconds or less. Beats Dominoes I guess.
Just cuz I’m white doesn’t mean I can’t get down to some Bone Thugs.
Did you know beer is better for you than Coke? It sounds just ridiculous enough that I can believe it. High-fructose corn syrup was invented by Satan and it is in pretty much fucking everything you eat and drink and it’s gonna kill you, probably tomorrow. The guys talked about old school ads for cigarettes, where doctors were advocating a certain brand of cigarette over the other, you know, because they care about your health and not the loot lining their pockets. But enough with the doom and gloom, it’s time for Bone Thugs‐n‐Harmony to come serenade us with super quiet “I’m high as hell” inside voices. It was hard to hear some of the Bones because they were so quiet. It almost felt like I was a hot chick and they were trying to run game on me or something, all suave and shit. They talked about their upcoming show tonight, how tight they are, and how they’re so tight they don’t know who in their group is married and who isn’t. They don’t go around smackin’ people in the grill anymore because they don’t wanna get shot, which I say is wise life choice. But don’t get flip the script and get it all mixed up, if you step, they’ll squash beef and cave in teef. They just want them and their fans to go out and have a good time, they try to steer clear of drama, Unless you count the time one of them got shot in the head. Or the time one of them accidentally shot the other one. And not the time one of them got kidnapped as a child along with his 3 sisters and found by John Walsh from America’s Most Wanted. For sure not the time when a dead body got dropped off in front of one their homes. You know, it’s your typical wholesome story that could be part anyone’s childhood. All joking aside, it was a great interview and they had some interesting stories.
Breaking news time. Big Fucking Mega Boat is on iTunes now. Breaking, breaking news time. Big Fucking Mega Boat is also on Google Play Music and is already #1 in the Metal section. Breaking, breaking, breaking news time. Big Fucking Mega Boat is also on Amazon and is already a #1 seller in the Hard Rock & Metal section. You should go buy a copy like I did. All the cool kids are doing it, you wanna be one of the cool kids, right? Well, don’t come running to me when people start making fun of your music library for not having Big Fucking Mega Boat. Breaking, breaking, breaking, breaking news time. It’s time to pass out the 2013 Yoko’s in this year’s Reverse Awards! Here are your categories and your winners:
Sorry winners of a Yoko. This is the reverse awards.
Bless this post, and bless all of you. Bless us everyone!
And there you have it, folks. The Yoko’s pretty much wrapped up the show all neat and tidy. There were a few short final calls, oh, and a mention that either tomorrow or Friday, there will be something “special” on Faction, but that’s all that was said. I assume you’ll have an opportunity to hear old or best-of shows for most of the day or something like that. That’s my best guess anyway. So I guess I should wrap this up huh? Pop quiz hotshots! Why are there no Walmarts in Afghanistan? Because they become Targets. OH! Happy Skanksgiving to all my American trick ass bitches and gangsta-ass swingin’ dicks. Happy get up and go to work like normal to all my Canadian molettes and moles. And shout to all the girls I’ve loved before.
Getting gassed at the dentist.
Hello reader, how are you? I’m doing fine, thank you for asking! I just wanted to tell you good luck. I’m counting on you. Ellis went to the dentist today, he’s got numb face and he had to tell the dentist to keep that gas going as they were grinding down his toof. He hasn’t gotten his goldie teef yet, but he was such a big boy that the dental assistant chick gave him some chocolate. He’s boned a dental assistant before, a couple times actually. She had blown out titties but got them shits fixed. Dingo needs his own chair in the studio, a Dingo chair one might call it, that he can get his sweaty hands all over. Dingo cooked dinner the other night and cut his poor wittle finger. He cooked a turkey burrito in a pan and he’s been known to make a lasagna once or twice. What’s that? The show seems different today for some reason, you say? That may be explained by the fact that Rawdog isn’t there, but Cumtard is. Absolutely nothing was mentioned about Rawdog’s absence, so anything would be speculation at this point. I’m sure whatever it is/was will eventually be addressed as that’s how the show (and real life) has always worked. Ellis went to get a massage, had a towel over his face, and when he flipped over, he felt his pee-pee lay over towards his hip. When the massage was done, he got up to see what kind of view was revealed and felt like a creep. But a creep who is packing heat.
Your pajamas were how much?
Dingo’s wearing $190 pajamas today, for that amount of money you’d expect him to be constantly orgasmic, but he just seems comfortable. Dingo and Ellis have decided to burn their Uggs, which has to be the best decision ever because, wow. Ellis is a bit of a soap connoisseur now and he’s not falling for any of those cheap as soap gimmicks anymore, so watch out Irish Spring! In an effort to get candy, he got some rose scented shit sprayed on him and went around asking people to smell him. Dingo’s just waiting for the soap rash discussion, but that never came. Instead, we heard about a 12-year-old, crying Dingo who got scabies and passed it on to all his friends. Sounds like Wilson got himself a new haircut and a new lanyard and has allegedly been fucking the fat off himself. He reminded the guys that the go kart track that they’re going to Tuesday is having a toy drive for poor people and if you can, bring 100% of a full toy, not 10% of a toy like Kim Kardashian. Ellis and Dingo have been having strange dreams lately, Ellis thinks his is from the Alpha BRAIN and Dingo thinks his is from a RZA week.
Whenever Cumtard is on the show, everyone wonders what the punishment is going to be.
So this dude in Washington, IL filmed a tornado going straight for his house, tornado hunter’s Tully and Cumtard question the legitimacy of the video, but you can decide for yourself. Ellis got his Porsche fixed (not really, it’s gotta go back) and then somebody hit it, denting the exhaust pipe, marked it up, and THAT is why we can’t have nice things – because people suck. In case you haven’t heard, Cumtard has one of them phone apps out, called Freaky Scenes, and he’s gets more chances to plug it today by answering some trivia questions, wrong answers mean he’s eating some death dealing dog food from China. Let’s just say he didn’t leave the show hungry and you probably wouldn’t know the name of his app if I didn’t just post a link to it. Tully got a call from his bank saying someone tried to use his debit card with a fake ID of him and of course it was in Inglewood because Inglewood is always up to no good. “We live in a world.” ~Dingo Let that one sink in a blow your fuckin’ mind. Ellis will be on terrestrial radio tomorrow morning, on The Heidi & Frank Show.
Hollywood news time, Justin Bieber has perfume or wears perfume or both. Angelina Jolie bought Brad Pitt an island for $20 million. Common man Dingo say’s that’s chump change. Mick Jagger is now a great-grandfather. Jason Momoa has a man cave and invited Ellis to come over some time, even gave him his phone number, so he might be on the show one day – the tale of two Jasons. Manny Pacquiáo won his fight against Brandon Rios in the first ever pay-per-view boxing card from China. Ellis started to talk about his incident with Beacher of Beacher’s Madhouse and Dingo quickly cut that conversation off like someone was talking about murder for hire over the telephone. Seems like Dingo now hates that dude and doesn’t want him to get his name mentioned even if just to say “fuck that guy”, which Dingo did actually say. Nobody knows whats up with that and it doesn’t look like the fans will ever know – and I’m okay with that because I said fuck that guy before it was cool to say fuck that guy. Also, apparently people are mad at Dingo for posting a picture of Miley Cyrus on his Instagram. I don’t really care one way or the other, so I don’t know what to say about that. Ellis got sent some Duck Dynasty shit for his pets and Dingo ain’t about to let anyone hate on that shit. This spurred on some callers who treated us to their duck and deer calls. Oh, and we got to hear “Smoked Out Clit” from Death! Death! Die! and Everlast.
How to silence Dingo.
Breaking news, Cumtard did not eat death dealing dog treats from China. After he started feeling like shit and forcing himself to vomit it all up, news on the wire was Wilson had played a dastardly trick and Cumtard actually just ate beef jerky. Wilson, you sly minx! Back to the news of the stars desk, Dingo Dingerton went to the AMA’s, he talked about how just fucking incredible, best thing since sliced bread, Imagine Dragons were. Of course he had to name drop Miley, Rihanna singing “garbldey arrrhhhg I forget” (which sounds like a kick ass song title), Nelly was there giving a shout out to the Lou. Thankfully Shoebox came in bearing gifts to steer the conversation away from “Dingo name drops more people in 60 seconds than anyone would think possible.” That lasted all of 90 seconds before Dingo steered us right back into name dropping thing. Shoebox chimed in with some real talk about wanting to fuck Miley. Then back to Dingo for his obligatory Miley name drop and to let us know he’s been to the AMA’s for 3 years now, again. Eventually Ellis had to tell Dingo to shut the fuck up for a minute so someone else could talk. No offense to Dingo, even though it sounds like it. I just could care less about the AMA’s and hate having to recap about that garbage. More power to Dingo for being in the mix in that world. I’ll have you know this man risked his life once. In the passenger seat of a truck. That was being driven by a professional. In the middle of a dessert. Where other driver’s drive past you and if you’re in serious trouble, they stop to help or call out for help. And where helicopters fly above checking the progress of drivers. HAHAA But seriously, thems jokes. Dingo was getting kind of heated for his terrifying rendition of being the passenger in a Baja truck. And finally, two lepers were playing poker, one threw his hand in, the other laughed his head off. OH!
Come to NYA for the recaps. Stay for the entertainment. Am I right? I’m right, right!
Check out my Instagram!
Welcome to another fun-filled Thursday from Crüe Town, but not actually. Ellis swears he feels cancer in his face and he’s threatening that face cancer with a doctor’s scalpel. He’ll have that shit cut out, a sweet face scar, and gold teef. Then he’ll be fresh to death and chillin like Gucci Mane (pronounced Mang) but way better and without an ice cream cone tattooed on his face. People are still catching flack over their Ugg boots, which are made out of the skin from a sheep’s asshole. In an odd reverse anti-Ugg boot debate, Twitch’s wife posted something on Instagram about Ugg sheep and some Ugg boot supporter reported her for it. God bless the Internet trolls with severe trolliosis. Cows, sheep, pigs, chickens, they’re all getting treated brutally – but god damn are they really useful and tasty. Some clothes made out of animals are more acceptable than others, such as gator skin underwear. That shit is sooo sexy. There’s some YouTuber’s making $1.4 million dollars (and more) a year just posting videos on YouTube. Ellis saw some chick that just makes videos of herself in room or whatever and she’s banking it, so now the question becomes, how the fuck can we get in on that shit and start making the kind of money where a point (.) doesn’t go before the cents part. The guys kicked around a few ideas on what they could film and post to YouTube to start making some bank, but the whole relationship between Ellis and Rawdog is what would work, but Rawdog doesn’t want to do anything that makes him the target of ridicule or anything that may be poking fun at him. That didn’t stop callers and fans coming up with some ideas the guys could potentially use on their quest for YouTube fame. In the end, it’ll probably never happen because Ellis wants it to be more like a scene from Silence of The Lambs where Rawdog is trapped in a well and Ellis screams at him to put lotion on his skin. Meanwhile, Rawdog wants it to be more like an episode of Laverne & Shirley.
Ellis talking to Rawdog
Some dude in Japan four backpacks and being the civil Japanese citizen he is, he turned that shit in and it was packed with $48 million dollars worth of cocaine. Tully desperately wants to go to Ricky Carmichael moto school (RCU), and Jason can only think about geography because it sounds cold where RCU is. But all Josh is worried about is if Ricky Carmichael is there. At his own school. Where he teaches people. At Ricky Carmichael University.
Ellis & Tully looking at Rawdog for not paying attention.
Ellis continued his geography lesson and did better than one might tend to think, but he also had a few hiccups where everything was Sacramento or Michigan. Apparently Snook was in full on normal kid mode today, she didn’t want to wear leggings because they’re itchy. Ellis was trying to reason with her, but she wasn’t having any of it, so he did what all us dad’s do. We tattle to mommy and let mommy play the bad guy. Except mommy never is the bad guy on anyone else’s part except her own, so just what would happen in my house, happened in Ellis’ house. The kid got what she wanted, because it’s just easier that way. This brought on a discussion about kids drinking coffee at really young ages and how crazy that is. I couldn’t imagine waking my daughter up for school, she’s tired, and I put out a few lines of cocaine next to her cereal bowl for the little pick-me-up she needs to start her day. Going back to pants for a minute, a caller named John cannot wear pants unless he absolutely has to and has freed himself of the tyranny of pants, and I say unto him, good on you sir! Keep fighting the good fight.
Rawdog loves pants. I mean he really, really loves pants.
Oxycotton John called up after the previous John, he’s going to get a new liver! The hospital called and said come on down, trade in your old liver and walk away with a new one! So shout out to him, we all hope you have a successful surgery and a speedy recovery, homeboy! Tully has never watched The Ultimate Fighter series, but he did last night and it completely sucked! Just kidding. Tully didn’t watch it, but not joking – it did completely suck because there were no fights, just more crying. Some people are backpedaling now about the GSP / Hendricks fight, now saying that GSP won due to the number of strikes, even though GSP’s face and Dana White totally disagree.
Celebrities can’t manage their finances. Boo hoo.
Aaron Carter just declared bankruptcy. Who is Aaron Carter you say? And I’ll tell you, don’t worry your pretty little head about it, trust me. You’re better off not knowing who he is. But real talk for a second. People be filing for bankruptcy like it’s going out style, am I right? You know I am. Wilson is out sick today, but since he never stops working, he sent in a story about an FCC proposal to allow cellphone usage during flights. Jetta came up with a game called “Guess the fetish” for the guys to play, oh and we learned that he’s a basketball stud. Maybe. We don’t know that for sure. It’s a little premature to assume he’s a basketball stud. Okay, just know he played basketball once. Anyway, Jetta went through the Internet searching for some fetishes and will quiz the guys to see if they can tell what the fetish is based on the scientific name. As you can imagine, there were a lot of fucked up “philias” and “isms” and I don’t have time to look all them up, but that can be a game you play yourself, go look them up and then try to masturbate to completion to any of them. If you finish, that might be your fetish.
There’s a new world’s tallest water slide being built and I think it’s supposed to be wedgie free. Ellis has a friend (possibly Moses Itkonen) in the studio who refuses to speak, and he’s not friends with Rawdog, you, me, or the Pope, just Ellis – so there. The show was looking for calls from police officers, but only for about 10 seconds. After that, Shoebox came in not bearing any gifts, but he promises he will bring them in tomorrow. What gifts? Hard copies of the new Death! Death! Die! album. So he got a bit of an ass chewing for being a big fat liar, liar, pants on fire – caught it on a telephone wire. Cats leave shit crystals all over the place, they’re pretty nasty. We ended up hearing from cops about cops that fuck citizens, fuck Crips, fuck other cops, and generally just fuck and stuff. Then more Uggs versus Peta versus sheep versus minx versus cows talk. Sounds like Joanna Angel wants to book D!D!D! to play at an after party after the AVN awards and Tully can go as long as he wears his chastity belt. Best. Gig. Ever. And that pretty wraps up this recap, the only thing left to do is leave you some words of wisdom – so I’ll quote my wife: “Quit being such a lazyass and do something!”
I drew you a picture!