Ellis & Krista Ayne (History)

What do we know about Jason’s latest crush Krista Ayne?

Krista’s entrance to show biz starts with Howard Stern (when doesn’t it?) in the late spring/early summer of 2000. She came in for a Playboy evaluation and didn’t fare too well against Ralph. She returned to THSS on March 20, 2006 as the Penthouse Pet of the Month for April and became one of the first few girls to ride the sybian on the show.

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Some other facts:

She’s been in music videos for:
Pittsburgh Slim
Jesse McCartney
50 Cent
Usher
Lady Gaga
Bon Jovi
Counting Crows
Devin Lima
Dan Baland


She’s been on several TV shows:
Life on Top (Cinemax)
Pants Off Dance Off (Fuse TV)
Bikini Pool Shark (Spike)
Sex & The City (HBO)
The Sopranos (HBO)


And she’s had a couple small movie roles:
Kettle of Fish
Rockaway
Bad Biology
The Lodger
The Bleeding
Rodger’s Number
Z-Rock
Elijah Sincere


Her Penthouse stats:
April 2006 Pet of the Month
Penthouse Pet of the Year runner-up in 2007


And finally, she’s been linked romantically with:
Jared Leto and Kid Rock


If you’re an OG #Ellisfam, you probably know that she has been on the show several times.

I believe the Ayne/Ellis story dates back to the late fall of 2007. She was interviewed by Ellis in the LA studios. The most memorable thing to happen? Ellis ended up dropping his pants…

The story continues on March 3rd 2008. Jason & Tully came to NYC to do a week of shows and Krista came in on that first Monday for an interview. A meet-up at the bar Manitoba’s, run by Dick Manitoba who was the singer for ‘The Dictators’ and was a Faction regular, was scheduled for that evening. Krista Ayne was invited to join and an interview with her was recorded from the bar (in addition to a bunch of fan audio). It was played back the next day.

Unfortunately, I don’t have audio from these shows. However, on March 5th Jason was on the Scott Ferrall Show (along with Anderson Silva) and they mentioned Krista Ayne.

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I’m not aware of any appearances in 2009, but on February 12, 2010 she stopped in again while J.Ellis was doing a week in NYC.  Jason was in the middle of interviewing Kristin Davis (AKA the “Manhattan Madam”)

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And, finally, her latest trip to the show on this past Thursday.

Download (link to MP3)

Show Re-cap For Friday 9/14/2012

I know why you masturbate, do you?

It’s the 5th and final day of TJES in NYC, that means it’s WGAFF, and that also means that I’m going to stab out your eyeballs with my dick! Just kidding about that last part, sorry. There is no difference between rocks and stones, but rocks are made from stones, and Rawdog don’t know shit about shit – or rocks. Ellis got to make out some more with Krista Ayne, but she ended up getting sleepy and that was as far as it went – allegedly, if you know what I mean. Rawdog went out last night to see his sister and her boyfriend, he flirted a little bit with a chick, who knows how that makes his girlfriend Rosie feel. More discussion about fucking Lycans, werewolves, vampires, and all that shit – it was intense – and by intense, I of course mean who gives a rats ass. Bam Margera woke up yesterday to a 24 year-old woman kissing him, so naturally, he threw the girl off him and called 911 and while he was on the horn with the po-po, she got down on the floor and started masturbating.

Hitler’s softer side.

Kick ass comedian Brian Posehn was on the show today, and it was a great appearance, he’s a funny motherfucker! He talked about his comedy metal band “Posehn” with Scott Ian from Anthrax as well as his ICP performances in front of big, methed out, serial killer looking dudes in clown makeup who hang out on drug bridges. After Ellis did his usual AIDs burp, Posehn asked “Did you just do the AIDs burp? Where did you get that?” It was then revealed that Posehn was the inventor of the AIDs and RAPE burps, he’s been doing it for years and most of his comedian friends had started doing it as well. Next on the show was comedian Amy Schumer, promoting her new TV show that will be on Comedy Central. She talked about her fight on a subway and then Ellis used Rawdog to show her how to choke a bitch out. When Tully mentioned that she has an open ended invitation to fight Rawdog at any EllisMania, Rawdog tried to tough talk Amy by telling her he would beat her because he has more experience, even though she just had him in a choke hold. They traded barbs back and forth until things got a little more personal when Amy called out Rawdog’s nasally voice.

The show was supposed to be simulcast along with Jim Breuer’s show, but it never really worked, though the guys did get to sound like robots for a few seconds. They talked about leaving early today, but suddenly right after the music break, the show went straight into replays from earlier in the week. I blame Will Pendarvis. Oh well, fuck it, it’s Friday and nobody gives a fuck. Hey, I heard your mom started her new job today but promptly got fired. Guess that Indian dating service “Connect the Dots” didn’t realize they couldn’t even charge 1 Rupee for her festering axe gash. OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 9/13/2012

Welcome to day four of our New York tour and now we learned that New York is pretty cool, except Time Square. Time Square sucks more than a bag of dicks at a Nickelback concert. Rawdog, being the radio genius that he is, didn’t bring in his Jaw Harp after Jason and Tully learned how to properly play it from internet videos. This action was immediately punished with an armpit punch that could be heard through radios throughout American and Canada. Apparently to have a happy relationship a man should wait about 180 days before having sex with a girl. That’s a long time to wait for a second date. Most men can handle getting a handy or blow job while driving. However if you are the kind of guy who has to close his eyes when blowing his love goo then you should probably stick to public transportation. Somehow the discussion turned to how Rawdog should do coke and what it would be like. It seemed to be a mixture of a really awesome dude to the kind of guy you would like to introduce to the bottom of your boot just so he will shut the fuck up about music that you’ve never heard of.

Shuli Egar came into the studio today for about an hour. Just like his appearances before, this one was fucking awesome. He addressed Private Snowball’s sexual habbits, his girlfriend, the new soda ban in New York, stand up shows, and The Ronnie Mund Block Party. After Shuli, Ryan Villopoto came in to talk moto and more moto, and then some Kawasaki promo that he is doing in New York. It was a rather quick interview and up next was the beautiful Krista Ayne. Ellis went out on a date with her last night to the same party where Cullen mistook Josh for his wife. In Cullens defense, Josh is rather feminine and they were wearing the same evening gown. Ellis got a bit creepy in my opinion when he started to seduce Krista and charm her pants skirt off. He succeeded, and while Krista was in her panties and bra, the accidental genius took one of the greatest creep shots in the history of The Jason Ellis Show! Great job Tussin Wolf, we salute you.

The final guest of the day was the all time favorite, Joanna Angel. She came in a little loose from the free beer and macaroni and cheese that Lance Bass had for his show which made her appearance that much better. Much like Shuli, Joanna laughed at Josh and his love of the snowball and got into the discussion of whether or not he is the dominant partner. After a brief talk, she showed him, by raping him. Not rape rape, just regular rape. Josh fought back her advances as she tried to slap his fun bags and mount him in a slightly aggressive manner. I believe he learned nothing from this and will continue to be the guinea pig of his girlfriends sexual desires. However, he did spit out the greatest line to say to a woman as she tells you that she is cumming, “You can’t fart yet.” You sir are a genius. Final calls time and the only one that I can remember is the dude who said his wife is playing with her vibrators more than she is playing with him. It was decided that it’s no big deal unless she starts neglecting him and using the toys instead. He blamed it on all the stories shes been reading. Speaking of stories, I remember a story I heard where this guy went into a whorehouse and told the mistress he wants to eat out a girl for the first time. She sends him up and he meets yer mum. She whips down her pants and he starts licking her twat. Minutes later he feels something in his mouth and spits out a corn niblet. Thinking this is normal, as he has never done it before continues eating her out. Minutes pass and he finds a piece of carrot in his mouth. Still thinking this is normal he continues. Soon after he finds a piece of meat and stands up. “Excuse me miss, but are you sick?” She looks at him and replies “No, but the last guy was!” OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 9/12/2012

Do you feel run down? Do you feel like you keep trying to run away but get no where? Do you feel useless? It’s probably because you ain’t got no legs Lieutenant Dan! But at least you don’t have an awful Chinese dude comb over, unless your an old Chinese dude with no legs, then your just fucked. Boxing isn’t what it used to be, that’s what Ellis says after watching boxing highlights from way back. The dudes that fought were more intense, harder, rougher, and didn’t stop until they couldn’t get up again. Those were the days when men were men and concussions were for pussies. Ever wonder what its like to flog the bishop in a tiny box in middle of a big city? Oh yeah, I forgot who was reading this, let me rephrase. Ever wonder what its like to beat your meat in a pay booth? First you go up some stairs, then put a couple bucks in the machine, the window goes up, and fap fap fap fap fap fap, and then ask for your change back. Or you can spend fifty bucks and get to know the overweight black woman with huge areolas and stretch marks. But on the plus side, she’ll let you touch those gigantic boobies, for a fee of course.

Some dude has the worlds largest biceps and looks ridiculous, he probably can’t even fit into a jack off booth. A dude in New York got randomly stabbed in the ass at a deli, that’s just plain old fucked up. Will made a great new game about New York where the contestant guesses the number in the statistic and the other guy guesses over or under. Simple enough, Ellis won, and now everyone that doesn’t live in NY will continue to not live in NY. Shits expensive and you might get shanked in the brown eye. My app fucked up and then it came back with them saying something about Oprah, so in the end, thank you Sirius App, without you I would have had to hear about that bloated sea cow and the half assed projects her dumpling eating hole is trying to put out.

The new iPhone 5 is coming out. I really don’t give a shit, as long as I can get porn while sitting in the parking lot waiting for my kids to get out of school, I’m happy. There’s a girl out there with Elils’s signature on her cooter, so shout out to her ass! Ellismania.com is cranking out more fight available for your viewing pleasure like the Andrea vs. Bently fight and then boner producing tonsil hockey match. All the Canadian’s just went, HOCKEY! I FOOKING LOVE HOCKEY EH! I’m just kidding, you guys don’t have full internet yet, it’s ok, someday you will. Rawdog may or may not go to an awesome dinner party with Ellis because he will playing with himself, his mouth harp, and making robot phone sex with his latino love. Speaking of his Spanish Fly, he got her some of the shittiest gifts a guy could get her, cards, a robot toy, and some other shit I didn’t hear because I was laughing too hard.

Porn starlet Stoya (@Stoya) was on the show today and her interview whent great, period! She was very nice, polite, and didn’t have one rude outburst, period! She talked about some vagina replica, boobs, threesomes, DP, and general experiences in the industry, PERIOD! In fact I might say that this was the best porn star interview ever, P E R I O D!! Oh and she was a bit stinky. Russia has found a Wooly Mammoth and is trying to clone it to make a massive army of Wooly Mammoth riders to move westward and take over some other European country that has too many v’s in its name. Good luck Russia, glad you found something to do with all that radiation at Chernobyl. Jason, Tully, and Josh are still plugging their Instagram accounts but while your there don’t forget to follow yer mum on Instagram at @IsThatHerVaginaOrACatThatGotRunOverByATruck, OH!

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 9/11/2012

Go Cullen, go Cullen, it’s yo birfday

It’s a NYC Tuesday! Let’s first get the 9/11 date out of the way. While your hearts may be feeling heavy today, your hearts should also be filled with pride. On that day, you watched ordinary people turn into heros, and you also saw most of the world standing behind the USA. Crazy man, crazy shit. Okay, let’s move on, @Cullensaidthis turned 36 today, so happy birthday to the Backbone of Faction and half of the @Jingleberries! Tully came in with yet another spot on observation, Rawdog looks like the Notre Dame logo when he’s fighting – that old-timey, fisticuffs style. And a caller actually had an observation as well, he looks like Sex Machine when he turns into a vampire, from the movie From Dusk Till Dawn.

Girls when they see Will in action.

Pendarvis was helpful to a couple chicks that were on the radio, he parked their car for them and now he might be getting some poon for his kindness. However, instead of going out with some chicks, he took Cullen out for a steak dinner – no word on if he got to first base or not. But Will did get an opportunity to make some poor waitress nervous, but I assume he didn’t get to take it to the next level where he follows her home in his car and flashing his lights. Jude is in NYC as well, so he stopped by the show today and apparently lookin’ and smellin’ all good & shit for the fellas. Why do fat people have black necks and bad breath? Diabetes, that’s why.

When Rawdog appeared with his shirt off.

Lance Bass of N’Sync fame was on the show today, I’m not real sure why, but hey – there he was. He’s getting into radio and guys’ butts. HEYOH! Actually, he seems like a pretty cool dude and his appearance on the show went well. Right after that, another surprise guest stopped by the show today, Robb Flynn of Machine Head. He’s into wake boarding and sweet licks. Just like Lance, he seems like a cool dude and his appearance on the show went well too. The world renowned Tony Hawk made a short stop on the show as well, TH talked about the TH TH (Tony Hawk Town Hall) that went on yesterday. He’s into skateboarding and cheeseburgers. Chris Brown got a new tattoo. He’s into beating women’s asses and shitty tattoos. Rawdog, sans shirt mind you, interviewed some Chippendales dudes about cocoa butter, workouts, nutrition, and cock. He also took a picture with them that you should definitely see, it’s on his Instagram. By the way, he’s into circle jerks and planetariums.

LA stinks like shit and rotten eggs lately, and I’m left wondering how people are just noticing that LA stinks like shit? They’re trying to blame it on the Salton Sea, but I’m not so sure about that. My theory is that your mom is wearing a dress and that’s what’s been making LA and neighboring states stink like shit and rotten eggs for over 40 years. OH!