2012

Posted on October 4, 2012 by bitPimps 中

‘Murica! Fightin’, fuckin’, arrestin’, smokin’, snortin’, shootin’ All that cool shit.

It’s 10-4, good buddies! Breaker, breaker, we got an ass shaker at mile marker fuck you. Ellis has been teaching Katie how to do a somersault off the diving board and into the pool, apparently she’s pretty bad at them. You know how Travis Pastrana wanted to fight Dave Mirra? Yea, well, now Pastrana’s wife doesn’t want him to fight Mirra because she’s scared for Mirra. Tully was going to enter FMX at X-Games, but his wife didn’t want him to because she was scared he would embarrass Pastrana. As Tully says, excuses are like assholes, they are delicious. Ellis had to call the po-po yesterday, he was picking up Snook from school and some little drunk Mexican dude came up to him talking gibberish. Dude was sketchy and trying to talk gibberish to other parents and kids, Ellis called the cops and told them what was up, 2 hours later the cops call Ellis and essentially were like, “so, what were you saying again?” Rawdog thinks it’s because the police like to fuck with people and cherry pick calls, but Tully feels like they’re just busy fighting crime and shit. Also, there was some debate over whether Superman could impregnate a chick or the chick could even have the baby.

I’ve looked into the faces of Hell.

Some professional boxer came out of the closet and announced he was gay, and then he came on his trainer’s face. Okay, that last part was a complete lie, sorry ’bout that. People are now able to watch Big Fucking Mega Boat on EllisMania.com, so go check that out if you wish. Lightening Train got put on the spot today, he’s charged with not answering phone’s enough, not correctly, and not at the right times. He had to come into the studio and take calls while the guys were there to witness, right away he fucked up the first call, which was about the movie “Gummo” and Ellis eating spaghetti in a bathtub. Remember the conjoined twins that were talked about yesterday? Of course you do, allegedly there’s a picture of them blowing a dude, and yes, it is photoshopped. Sounds like Shoebox really hated Rawdog at first, everyone gets along now way better, but nobody really bothers to disagree with Shoebox anymore because they don’t feel the ensuing fight would be worth it. Tully says he treats each D!D!D! performance as his last, because it has potential to be the final one.

Time for the reverse awards, listeners got to help suggest potential award categories and even some nominees for this year’s categories. There are a bunch of categories and a bunch of nominees, I’m not going to list them all out. Voting isn’t done, so you can still vote for all that shit until at least tomorrow’s show if not over the weekend. While drilling your mom one day, she wanted to get freaky and asked me to strangler her. I wasn’t really into it at first, but curiosity got the best of me. That’s when I found out which organ in the female body remains warm after death. My cock. OH!

Whatever it is that you are saying, it means nothing!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 10/3/2012

Posted on October 3, 2012 by bitPimps 中

Young Rawdog playing the role of “The Kid” in his remake of Purple Rain

New Death! Death! Die! song before the show started today, called “In The Water” and it was a stone cold gas, my grandchildren. Ellis is ready to get his kids some motorized shit, like maybe a little 50 cc bike or a quad or something, he just has to find massive helmets for their massive domes. He wants them to be around moto, the outdoors, life, fires, animals, and nature and shit. I’m pretty sure all parents want their kids to enjoy being active outside in one way or another, I mean, except Rawdog’s parents apparently – because he can’t ride a bike. It’s ~~hip to be square~~ cool to be gay, and now people are waiting to see when kids will start pretending to be gay because it’s so cool, even though they are not gay – like how suburban white kids try to act all ghetto and gangster. Hey, are you into moisturizer and tight jeans, are you a metrosexual? Are you sure you don’t just want to watch soap suds flowing through the crack of a dude’s ass? DING!

Double rainbows make Wolfknives cry

We got to hear some Conjoined Twins-tallica, Double Rainbow-tallica, and I’m Gonna Cut Off My Mother’s Tits-tallica today – the consensus was that the overall best one was Double Rainbow-tallica. You know what all that spawned? Half a metric fuck ton of calls with the same two useless comments about the double rainbow dude, as well as other calls from bitch-ass ass-bitches with similarly shitty-poop poop-shit comments. Everyone on the show has seen the movie Death Becomes Her, but only Rawdog saw it in a weird way, it’s just the way he watches things… weirdly. Tully thinks I should start keeping track of how many times Rawdog complains because apparently I have nothing better to do. And he’s mostly correct, the problem is that I can only count to #FuckTully HAHAHAA! I’m a slayer of things that I make up and find funny but nobody else does! It’s a gift.

Somebody will be going to hell for this one, and it could be you

Hey, lucky us, we missed NMT yesterday. And that luck got ran the fuck over with a dump truck full of cancer and AIDs (otherwise known as CAIDs) when we got NMT on the show today. Rawdog did however throw us all for loop when he first stated that he was going to play a new Tragically Hip song, and instead he finally played a song from Tully’s album, Retrofit. But don’t let that fool you, Rawdog still hates Tully, Ellis, Will, the show, fruit, and all of us.

An impressively racist Canadian Mountie called into the show to share his super secret information on how he tends to racially profile people because of their color. It shouldn’t have surprised anyone listening, but I like to pretend there’s at least 1 person living under a rock that had their mind blown. Everyone would like to start smoking weed legally, which is nothing new, people have wanted this freedom for a long time. Hopefully we get to see it legalized in our lifetime, but I’m not holding my breath. I don’t trust people in general, much less the gubment.

An offer went out to Rawdog from some dude that supposedly works in corporate for McDonald’s. He’s offering Rawdog 1 year’s worth of free McDonald’s to take the fleshlight picture we’ve all been looking forward to for 2 days. If anything is going to convince Rawdog, I assume it’s 365 McNugget combo meals. Keep your fingers crossed. Just so you know, you’ll have to uncross your fingers at some point, because how else are you going to ram your fist into your mom’s cavernous pussy when she’s horny and has no other takers? OH!

D!D!D! – In The Water (Song)

Posted on October 3, 2012 by CobraTits

Download (link to MP3)

Show Re-cap For Monday 10/1/2012

Posted on October 1, 2012 by bitPimps 中

Rawdog’s general message to everyone during the weekends

It’s fucking October already? Next think you know, it’ll still be October – freaky, right? First up on the show today was Dingo, sans Momma Dingo, he was a few minutes late because he was busy creeping on the casting line-up for the hot chick agency next door. Sounds like he’s got an ingrown toenail growing, aka hammer time, which sucks. Ellis has a bunch of video and pictures to put up on EllisMania.com from his pool party, he just has to review it all before it starts going up. He had to kick some sky diver dude out of the party for being a dick side burn. He also might have broke his toe or something while he was trying a Triple Lindy, made famous by Thornton Melon. Rawdog was there, he got really high and forgot to send Dingo an iPhone recording of the Big Fucking Mega Boat movie that was screened at the pool party – which really means that he hates Dingo. Tully, the only clear thinking adult there, gave Ellis a record player and records as a housewarming gift.

Rawdog’s most likely candidate for his horse

Hey, Tully has a disease, it’s called Dupuytren’s Disease! Chalk that one up as something else Tully has and you don’t. The guys started planning to go on a horse ride, but alas, they have no rope – so now they’re planning on taking a boat ride. Speaking of boats, Dingo’s conspiracy theory is that the Titanic never sank, it was actually another boat that sank and was all about an insurance scam. Take that James Cameron! Everything is being automated these days, and sometimes that shit is awesome and sometimes it is not. There you go, solid, opinionated reporting is what we do here. Some dude that works at ~~Avon~~ Chateau Lake Louise wants Ellis and everyone to come up and do a show for all 6 of the oil sands workers up in Alberta. What is it with callers saying “I’m the guy in (insert state / province here), like Ellis is going to say, “oh yeah! Fuck, it’s been so long, how have you been?” What’s the deal with that, huh?

Your mom has shit in her coochie

Drew Barrymore shat out a child, Olive, with some art consultant dude. And just for the record, if Tully and his wife ever have a female child, it too will be named Olive. And they totally stole that idea from Drew, because they’re massive Drew Barrymore fans. Junk food eating game today, the guys can see what they’re eating (burgers, fries, & nuggets), but have no idea where it’s from, and they have to describe and rate it as they eat it – and then guess where it’s from. Cumtard came in with the results, sounds like Jack In The Box won the taste test, minus their nuggets that smelled like dirty socks. Staying true to form, Rawdog now hates everyone that has anything to do with the show because he likes a Paul F. Tompkins podcast way, way, better. Some Valerie chick who I assume is Ellis’ publicist popped on the show for a few minutes, she sounds like a pretty cool chick and surprise, I want to see her boobs and it sounds like Ellis wants to bone her. Two weeks from now, the show will be on vacation for 1 week, so don’t be surprised when you hear replays of the show in two weeks. Also, don’t be surprised if you start seeing wads of bloody toilet paper strewn about the house, instead of your typical feminine hygiene products, your mom has been stuffing her twat with toilet paper while she’s on her period. OH!

The Big Fucking History of “Big Fucking Mega Boat” – Part 1 (History)

Posted on September 30, 2012 by CobraTits

For a movie that is only a reported 22min long and has been billed by J.Ellis as one of the worst things he’s ever seen, it has taken a long, long road to being made. Part 1 of the History of BFMB starts at the initial idea, the plans with Donald Schultz, developing the script , all the way up to just before they started filming.

He-man leads to 80’s toys, leads to the “Battleship” movie, and then the 1st spark of “BFMB” – 2/1/12 – 8min

Download (link to MP3)