As Andrew the Vagiant knows all too well, we’re all fireworks, baby. Singing pair of tits, Katy Perry, opened up the show with her anthem about being a chemical reaction that quite frankly is underwhelming when you really think about it. Fuck being a firework, I’d rather be a Hellfire missile. Think about it: they travel at incredible speeds, look badass, and cause as much destruction as your mum at Old Country Buffet. Continue reading
Happy Birthday Cliff Burton!!! Hopefully I’m spelling that right cause I’m too lazy to Google right now and…yup…that’s that..Happy Birthday I am too lazy to google the correct spelling of your name!!! God, I’m kind of a bitch. But i have nice boobs and a great ass and I can do a shoulder stand on my bed while Hubbs eats my pussy at 3 in the morning cause core strength is a thing and mula bandha, motherfuckers.
As most of you already know, February 6th was Will’s birthday and the guys got him a gift that they thought he’d really, really love. That gift? A lap dance from Dillion Harper, Will’s fantasy crush. The Fuck Lord himself was caught a little off guard and in no time developed the dreaded “guy cramps.” You’ve no doubt heard the original full audio of the event by now, but for “scientific” purposes, our pal Mr. X required some editing to get to the essential parts. Warning: I am not responsible for how many longer lasting, higher volume, extremely potent wads you may shoot as a result of this audio. You might want to have an emergency contact ready to go on speed dial in case you experience dizziness, heart palpitations, or severe dehydration. And for Barry’s sakes, have your wad towel at the ready.
“Hold up! ERRRRRRR! UHH… ARR… ARR! WHAT? C’mon!” ~DMX
Who starts a recap with some DMX speak? This guy! Look, I don’t give it shit if it makes sense or not. You’re missing the point here. It’s DMX, man! Anyway, let’s see what the show has in store for us today and if I hear 1 word in particular, y’all gonna make me lose my mind up in hurr, up in hurr. See what I did there? So what’s the one word I was talking about? “Grammys” If I hear that fuckin word and you’re not talking about your grandmother, I’ll… I don’t know what I’ll do. But you will ALL pay for it, I can promise you that much! Continue reading
It’s Friday and everyone is busy telling social media how much they don’t give a fuck, and we here at NYA are usually no different. But today is special. Today is the birthday of someone you all know and love. Today is a day to give a fuck and celebrate. But keep it quiet…not everyone knows…and we’re planning a surprise…so let’s keep it for the end.