Another new intern for Sirius XM came on the show today, says her nickname is Ozzy. Once again, this intern has never heard of the show, and sounds like maybe never heard of Jason Ellis. It amazes me the number of interns who want to get in to the business, and have no clue about anyone in the business, except for maybe knowing who Howard Stern is.

The impression I got in the first 5 seconds? She sounds annoying. Sounds like she thinks she knows it all, did I mention she’s 20? She mentions “experience” a lot. I remember when I was 20 and thought I knew it all. I think her age really showed she’s not ready to be making any kind of important (or even approaching important) decisions. But hey, she’s 20 and I’m a dirty old man so that may be why I found her a bit annoying. I will say this though, she got grilled pretty good – she stayed (fake) confident and her voice didn’t start cracking (though that might have helped.)

Rawdog seemed to be partially defending her, she must be good looking. I have no idea if she is or not, but it doesn’t matter. She said she wanted to be “in the business” since she was 7. I’m sure that happens to some people, but how shitty is your childhood if your dream at 7 is be a producer, editor, or whatever else she rattled off? At 7 years old, why don’t you want to be a princess, or a queen, or a unicorn, etc? Anyway, let’s move on.

Get this shit! Danny (@DanOD5), the other new intern? Yea, he used his position on the show to get with a chick in a motherfucking hot tub! Danny’s stock just went way up in my book! This chick offered to cook him dinner, she’s smoking hot, gave him her number, got connected on Facebook, this bitch has a fan page because she’s an aspiring actor. I mean, what in the blue fuck? Dude is in town for like a day and lands some hot ass actress type? It’s also speculated that Danny just may walk on water, although that hasn’t been confirmed yet – however I expect it to be, shortly.

Today was World’s Greatest Wednesday, so we’re determining the world’s greatest pterodactyl (the sexual maneuver). Nominees and overall winners, from 1st to last, were:

1. Stephen Hawking, Larry Flynt, and Christopher Reeve
2. Chevy Chase, Steve Martin, and Martin Short
3. Bert, Ernie, and the Cookie Monster
4. Danny and two clones of Danny
5. Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Sammy Davis Jr.
6. Dracula, Frankenstein, and the Wolfman
7. Ronald McDonald, the Burger King, and Jack In The Box
8. Sean Connery, Roger Moore, and Daniel Craig
9. Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, and Jackie Chan
10. The Undertaker, Patrick Ewing, and Snuffaluffagus

And there you have it, that’s all the excitement that happened today. The only other exciting thing I didn’t tell you about was your mom did her first gaping scene today and handled it like a champ. You should’ve seen how wide her asshole was stretched, she said you would’ve been proud.