Hey! It’s midterms week for yours truly and I’m filling-in for our beloved Wolfkisser, who has been visited by the broken phone gods, so get ready for a bullet-point re-cap!

• The giant Wolfknives X Red Dragons banner that was on display at EMX has mysteriously disappeared.
• Ellis wants to be Drunk MMA Sasquatch at the next EM.
• Linsanity had the shit scared out of him by the Jack in the Box mascot.
• Devin’s B-day extravaganza will go down this weekend.
• Tiger Lee is gonna start training with his new dirtbike, which is essentially a musclecar in dirtbike form.
• Tully has been having car troubles, so the only solution is to do jumps in it so he can get a new one.
• Tully hates Daylight Saving Time and I’m with him on that one. Fuck that bullshit.
• Ellis and Tully will be going to a Hollywood movie premiere.
• Ellis gave himself a butt-cramp when he messed up his testosterone injection.
• Thomas Haden Church called-in and instead of recounting everything that was discussed, I’m just going to sum it up with this…

All praise THC.

• A new study confirms that there are too many studies. Dude…so meta.
• The whole gang played a new game in which they had to guess which celebrity said a given crazy statement:
  •  Eating your placenta is healthy for you and recommended. (January Jones)
  • Claims that he carries small bottles of oxygen around with him to help prevent aging. (Simon Cowell)
  • Thought Japan was in Africa. (Paris Hilton)
  • Questioned whether their cellphone use was the root cause of their cancer. (Sheryl Crow)
  • Said women like wearing high heels because the arch puts their foot in the same position as it is during an orgasm. (Louis Vuitton)
  • “If everyone in the world dropped out of school, we would have a much smarter society”. (Jaden Smith)
  • Believes their creativity will be stolen from them through their vagina if they sleep with someone. (Lady Gaga)
  • “I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin”. (Gweneth Paltrow)
  • Their favorite keepsake is their placenta that they had made into a necklace that they wear all the time. (Kesha)
  • Believes that the number of lines in your forehead is equivalent to the number of past lives you have lived. (Aston Kutcher)
• Slipknot guitarist Mick Thomson was stabbed in the head by his brother. Luckily, he’s expected to make a full recovery.
• Tully posed a question for listeners to call-in and answer: “What one thing do you wish you knew about your significant other before getting married?”
• Some news segments with Will, including one about a mother who shot her TV because she didn’t want her kids to see a Primus video, filled the last hour or so and closed out the show.

Alright shit stains, time for me to get back to the grind and work on stupid essays. Don’t be a fool, stay outta school.