Show Re-cap For Monday 3/19/2012

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So here we are, together, listening to the show. The first hour of the show, was just that, the first hour of the show. Seriously, there is absolutely nothing of importance to talk about for the first hour of the show, topics jumped all over the place but nothing going in depth. It was good and entertaining, but just jabber really. All I could really tell you is: Ellis feels great, ate a burger, Teggy has a massive head, and Dingo is there today.

Hour two, the first 20 minutes or so Dominick Cruz (@TheDomin8r) called into the show and talked a bit about TUF and Urijah Faber (@UrijahFaber) and how he feels the two of them have completely different mind-sets. He believes and has said Urijah is a salesman for himself and commented about how during the time they were picking their team members for the show, Urijah was commenting on peoples’ tattoos rather than paying attention and critiquing the subjects in an effort to improve the skill level of the subjects. And then there was a break and some pussy. Talk turned to the whackiest blowjob scenarios so when Ellis gets rich, he make a whacky blowjob video and sell it.

Hour three and four, Psycho Mike from Loveline was on. I stopped listening to Loveline during it’s second or third year and I have no fucking clue who this dude is. Dr. Drew came in as well for about 10 minutes or so and I’m only slightly more impressed, at least I know who he is. The cool part here is that when Dr. Drew first came in, things were crowded and somehow an energy drink got spilled on Rawdog’s laptop. If you remember, Rawdog was slamming on Dr. Drew, claiming he’s basically more into his own celebrity status, rather than he is in helping people. Dr. Drew also heard Rawdog’s dad’s speech impediment and called him Tweety Bird, which Rawdog still adamantly denies exists. Both actually turned out to be pretty good guests, and both of whom have allegedly helped curb your mother’s addiction to gaping but increase her addiction to cum. OH!

Show Re-cap For Friday 3/16/2012

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Dingo On The SceneFrifuck. Fruckfri. Friarfucker. Frifist. Fritofri. Friday. There, got that out. It’s Friday, Friday, Friday and I don’t give a fuck, fuck, fuck. The week of March 26 will be vacation time for The Jason Ellis Show, so expect “best of” replays that week, unless of course they change the date. *BingoBangoBongo* That one earned me a one way ticket to the prize chamber. Sounds like the “Forgiven” worked for both Rawdog and Tully, so that’s pretty fuckin’ awesome, I’d try some of that shit. There was talk about making Friday’s a little more “Ellisy” by having Backbone (@CullenSaidThis), and/or Dingo (@TheDingoInSnow), and/or Rawdog (@RadioTFB) and/or maybe others like Jude (@rude_jude) doing a clip type show “The JiggaBididaBoo Show” in the morning before the Friday show. That be fuckin’ boss, like real boss hoss!

George Clooney, Kony, Gallagher, Ryan Sheckler, and women, am I right? Those were all things that were discussed on the show and that I won’t be re-capping here because it’s fucking Friday and I don’t give a fist. Google that shit if you’re really wondering, I’ll even help you out a bit www.google.com See there? That’s me, helping you, to help yourself. Don’t say I don’t care or don’t try to help. They gave “Dude am I a slut?” a shot today since it’s in the afternoon and sluts don’t wake up before noon.

Some chick was blacked out and doing her boyfriend, her friend came in and boyfriend left because he was uncomfortable so she banged another dude. That’s right, every male’s fantasy and the subject of a zillion letters to Penthouse made this guy uncomfortable and he left. What. The. Fuck. And the clear champion of today’s segment was this chick that got face fucked in the Metal Mulisha RV while a couple of other dudes recorded it on their cell phone and let the dude splooge on her face. Then she was gonna fuck the guy in her car before an A7X concert so her friend stood outside the car, but they didn’t have condoms so she let him bang her in her ass.  I think those were probably the best stories out of all them so I’m not going to detail the others. Wait, no, there was a last minute entry. This chick fucked three dudes on her lunch break, they all came in a cup and she guzzled it down, I fink your mom is freaky. OH!

Role Call, Introduce Yourself: Part 1

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So, I asked people who follow me on Twitter to introduce themselves with this tweet: Taking roll call. Raise your hand & I’ll call on you. Introduce and say a little something about yourself.

And here are the responses:

@itswillbitches Hi! My name is Will and I think trains are cool and I always stop what I’m doing to watch them go by.

@AZ_RedDragon My name is Jason and I’m always late to places so everyone will look at me when I come in. Hi.

@Cassieleeisme My name is Cassandra and I wear high heels to concerts to tower over short people (6’2 in heels).

@KimDultz Oops, I’m slow, but not slow enough to ride the short bus, just slow enough to be an artist. My name is Kim, or Kimmy D, mthrfcker

@TwistedMetalFab Hello, my name is John. And I would like to take Cassandra to a concert. (I’m 6’5″)

@RedJammieGirl Hi everyone!!! I’m Michelle and @KimDultz is my partner in crime. We love to eat cookies!

And there you go, six people. For those of you that turned up, I thank and salute you. I guess Thursday evening isn’t the best time to do a #RollCall and that has been duly noted. So, if you were disappointed in the turnout, I’m going to post a few videos you comedy / cooking / sex craving deviants might enjoy. Continue reading →

Show Re-cap For Thursday 3/15/2012

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Jager BeardHey, hey, hey, it’s fuckin’ Thursday! Did you read that in Fat Albert’s voice? Because I typed it in his voice, so I hope you did. Otherwise it’s just not as funny, it’s like being barefoot and stepping in a fresh dog turd. Today is the day Tully and Rawdog (aka JagerBeard) get plastered on the show in preparation for tomorrow’s show, where they test out “Forgiven”, a supposed hangover cure by TJ Lavin. Tully said he’ll drink later tonight, understandable since he does have a new born baby at home. I mean, it’s way more fun to drink and juggle children than it is to just hold them in a sober state. (<= That’s a joke right there, and for the record I would like to say that I am against drunken baby juggling. Paid for by the committee for more bitPimps in your rectal area.) Today is also the @DanOD5 show, he produces the entire show, coming up with ideas, bits, games, etc. for the guys to do on air.

Jager BeardIn other news, EllisMania 8 is still June 23rd, and I assume will not be live on HDNet, I hope you’re happy everyone who already scheduled your vacations and purchased your hotel rooms, I won’t be able to see it live. I see how it is, fuck me – that’s real nice, real nice. So one of the segments was to take Dan’s phone and call someone in his contacts list, apparently he had some lovey dovey texts to someone he called “poopy face” or “mud butt” er wait, yes, it was “poopy face”. Dan’s cute-o-meter just exploded, all over the place with glitter, streamers, and party hats. Another number was labeled Wang Kong – sounds like a powerful name, but we’ll never know because it went to voicemail. I’m just going to pretend that he was busy fighting Godzilla or buying black market shark fin soup.

Jager BeardJagerBeard, being the gnarly pirate that he is, needed some pudding to take the “Forgiven” pills. Yes, this is the same man that creepily whispers “pussy” to the audiences of the world and calls Tony Hawk’s ramp “rickety” right to his face. Hard. Core. Mother. Fucker. Tully made a spot on observation, claiming he looked less like JagerBeard and more like Slick Rick! That fucking Tully guy, he’s hilarious and if that didn’t make you laugh, then you’re dead on the inside. Poor JagerBeard. The ChexMix chasers caught up to him and he started feeling pretty ill, they had to get the emergency puke bucket but there was no real hurlage, just a bit of a squirt of vomit. If you’ve never heard JagerBeard before, you’re life is incomplete, no words can describe how awesome he is.

And… no, we’re not done here just yet… starting tomorrow, and every Friday from here are on out, in the morning there will be a 2 hour (I believe) “best of” hosted by Rawdog and Rawdog only. Then, at normal afternoon time, the show will be live! That’s right errbody, wipe the stank off your hang down and polish off your ball gags! Seriously, do it! If you do it, I’ll do it. I’m going to be having my hang down de-stanked and my balls gagged on by your mom. OH!