Category Archives: Overviews & Re-Caps

Overviews & re-caps of broadcasts from The Jason Ellis Show.

Show Re-cap For Friday 4/27/2012

Posted on by
Reply

It’s Friday my neutral milky mother love boners, let’s make it gooder than shit, shall we? Tully was talking about how, thanks to Sirius XM, he’s been listening to genres of music that were popular in the late 80’s and early 90’s that he wouldn’t have normally been into – being a metal guy back then. I don’t know about you guys, but I can totally relate to that as in the past several months I’ve been channel surfing and found myself liking the Backspin channel, among others. Ronald Schultz took back his Aprilia motorcycle that he lent to Ellis, so that’s probably for the best considering how crazy Ellis is. But not to worry, because Ellis will be getting Thomas Hayden Church’s super Porsche to drive around for a little bit. And Surprise, Rawdog doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground – today he called the top of a skateboard the “front” and the bottom he called the “back”, and claimed that one of the boards had some “cool wood siding” on it. How can you not just absolutely love this guy?

A tranny wants to go out with Rawdog, he’s cool with everything except that whole “she has a dick” thing – I can respect that. If he’s still in his sexual slump at the age of forty, he’d probably let a tranny blow him though. Rawdog drank some of that kava that Jude brought in yesterday. This is surprising because apparently it doesn’t taste that great, and knowing how Rawdog doesn’t like anything but chicken nuggets, burgers, and chocolate, the surprise is that he drank it all. @DaniKalifornia had posted a picture of some massive BatWing (Warning: fucked up pussy lips ahead) to Ellis and I had decided to share an equally disturbing picture (Warning: vacuumed vag) as well. Turns out I ended up flinching Rawdog and a few others by it, which was totally unintentional – but also fucking awesome! The conversation naturally turned to Rawdog’s nipple jacking technique, which seems to be quite intricate as nobody really knows how to properly jack their own nipples off.

The Cum Challenge winner was announced today, although there were a lot of little po-dunk places that didn’t even have a major airport near them, this Heidi chick near San Francisco won. Heidi is married, but her husband doesn’t have to be there when Ellis show’s up, get what I’m sayin’ here? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. It was actually a bit funny because it sounded like she wanted Tully there maybe a little more than Ellis. That mean’s Heidi has most likely masturbated in the shower while thinking of Tully and his wit. Tully and Rawdog also setup a contest for the show today, “Who can cum faster”. Apparently they’ve both gone on the Internet in search of videos of men and women who climax very quickly. Listening to the audio only, really makes this segment fucking weird because your mind just can’t help but to make up images in your head to go along with the sounds.

The guys brought back the “Dude is it gay?” segment today after about a years hiatus. Some dude has a “friend” (we’ll call him Mr. X) who always asks his other guy friends to shave his balls. DING! Another guy met some Canadian dude off Craigslist who wanted him to come over, jerk-off and cum on his face for $80. So he put on some porn, got hard, started jerking it, creepy guy gets down on his knees in front of him and leaned back to receive the load on his face. My wife started yapping at me about something or another so I don’t know what the verdict was, but I’m just gonna go ahead make my own executive call here and… DING! Another dude woke up with morning wood poking out of his boxers and his friend said “good morning” and shook his penis like you would shake hands. Not gay, the “shaker” was like a daredevil comedian. Next caller said he couldn’t get off on just chicks in porn, he has to see penis penetrating “virgina”. I feel like that one has been asked before, but still, not gay. Next guy asked if it were gay to taste his own cum. The verdict was not gay.

Rawdog was forced to choose between getting a leg kick, or jacking off Ellis’ nips – so the obvious decision was to jack off nips. I couldn’t imagine how erotic that must be, and by erotic I really mean awkward as all fuck. Speaking of which, I remember when it was your mom’s birthday and we setup a few decorations, made a cum cake for her, and then we made sure nobody showed up because she’s just a worthless ditch pig that nobody cares about. OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 4/26/2012

Posted on by
Reply

Welcome back to another fun filled episode.  Today’s show started out strong with discussion about Jason’s interview on @KTLA, the morning news/talk show much like Good Morning America but for LA only because they are special.  The interview went well, Jason felt that it was well received and the guy on the show got to flex his “I know Australians” muscles.  Jason also attended a black metal concert with his back to current girlfriend Katie. CumTard the Cumtardian was also there but Jason found it better to avoid him.  Good call.

Discussion turned to a new Segway skateboard love child called the Z-Board, and as one would expect, we all wondered if Josh could ride it.  Maybe someday we will get to find out, and then laugh our asses off.  Jude came in again today with a much more mellow topic, Kava.  I’m not sure what it is and I’m too lazy to read the link i attached, if you are curious please feel free to check it out.  When you are done, just let the rest of us know.

The rest of the show was pretty mellow, a bit of discussion here and there so I will wrap it up quickly.  Aussie News, a guy stole a penguin, Ellis called some of the Cum Challenge finalists, a dude banged his girl in the ass because she was on her rag and he got poopie dick, and Rawdog is now an internet dating guru and feels that this single date has given him enough knowledge that he is entitled to share. I think he should write a book on it, and again, we will laugh our asses off.

Thomas Hayden Church called in today and the thing that I am most impressed with is that he is an avid listener.  That’s pretty fucking cool in my book.  The game that Josh was going to play yesterday got played today and in my opinion, I would have rather listened to another episode of New Music Tuesday.  The game was slow, and got boring fast.  It was a good concept but didn’t work out well. Guess they can’t all be winners. And finally, Egypt is trying to pass a law so that a husband may use his wife as a human fuck torso up to six hours after her death.  Everyone agrees this is fucking disgusting.  This is the part where I make a joke about yer Mum, but she does a pretty good job of doing that all by herself, OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 4/25/2012

Posted on by
1

Hello and welcome my friends to another wonderfully insightful edition of The Jason Ellis Show Re-Cap.   Today started out with the boys going a bit Eco friendly.  Grass topped bars, grass carpets, and log cars.  These seem like interesting ideas until you start thinking, who’s gonna mow the bar?  And if you throw up will there be a dead spot.  Would dogs be allowed in, and who’s cleaning up that mess?  Probably best to just leave things the way they are.  Well punch me in the cock, Rawdog had a rather successful date. At least as successful as one would expect from Rumble McTumble Bum.  This mystery internet woman seems very impressed with Josh and even said he looks better in person than on his profile pic. Fist Bump.  I believe it is safe to say this girl will be swallowing some Tussin in the near future if you know what I’m saying.  Yeah, you know what I’m saying. Today is also Rude Juduesday and Jude ruffled some feathers when he came in wearing a Vick jersey and totally defended dog fighting. Said dogs aren’t humans & he don’t give a fuck about a dog. This struck a nerve with many as expected but a mans opinion is his own.

Teens are fucktarded, as we all know.  But they have brought it to a whole new level, they are drinking hand sanitizer to get drunk.  What ever happened to the good ol grab and dash? That was a highly effective way of getting booze. Kids these days.  We also heard some fucking awesome mash ups and parody songs, so shout out to Cruiser Boy and Mike Higgins, great job dudes. Jason’s book is now on the New York Times Best Seller list at number 23. That’s a huge fucking accomplishment from a dude who “can’t read or write.”

A guy named Gordy called the VIP line.  This lucky 19 year old bastard got the number from his copy of I’m Awesome but not the circle jerk names. Hope is still out there, don’t give up.  Other news, Octomom is a hoe bag and Chis Angel is a douche, as if we didn’t already know.

A bit of serious information, between May 8th and May 22nd download the song “Long Time” by Everlast. Precedes will help to find a better treatment for Cystic Fibrosis.

And I know that you are reading this Mr. McConaughey so will you please get your shirtless ass into the show, and Matthew, we can do this the easy way or the, aww fuck it, I can’t remember the quote.  Much like I can’t ever remember what your mum says because it just sounds like shes gargling cum. And she is, OH!

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 4/24/2012

Posted on by
1

Rawdog’s computer

Today started off with a little bit of “Can You Feel Me Dog Center” because Ellis was about 15 minutes late to the show, and Rawdog’s computer is freaking so there was almost no “New Music Tuesday” for you – which I know some of you would be totally bummed about. But low and behold, he used Ellis’ computer and New Music Tuesday went ahead as scheduled. Rawdog however prepared a game to play, as long as they have a printer, but the printer is also throwing an error. Rawdog is literally losing his shit over his computer not working, which I can kind of understand. He does have another date tonight though! You have to love the Swinghouse Studios, what a shithole. Tully grew a massive set of tits today, he took sole control of his kid this morning at 7AM, did dishes, laundry, went grocery shopping, made lunches, and then took off his apron and bra to let the girls breathe. He actually called it being “Super Dad”, but I like to think of it as “I’m The Woman In This Relationship”.

There might be a new, massive fight at Ellismania 8, but it’s not confirmed yet and if the past date changes are any indication, this massive fight may or may not happen so Ellis isn’t mentioning anything more about it right now. Robby Gordon and Everlast called into to the show today, the more import conversation of the two is that Everlast is campaigning for Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, Great Strides National Walk Event. As you may know, his daughter was born with cystic fibrosis – hence the song “Sixty-Five Roses”. Next were people calling in for a “Get The Cock Off Your Chest” segment, for anonymity sakes we’ll give all the callers the name “Toshua Michmond”, and now here are the calls:

A Rawdog love story

  • Caller was getting ready to bang this hot chick but couldn’t get hard because he couldn’t stop thinking about his girlfriend and didn’t want to hurt her. He ended up quitting his job because he didn’t want to deal with the whole issue, and right there is where Ellis pounced on him and made him admit that he didn’t quit only because of this hot chick and their sexual tension.
  • Caller had called the cops on his crazy neighbor who would go out in the middle of the street and start yelling obscenities. The police came, crazy neighbor guy dropped on the street like he was making fucking snow angels, had a heart attack and died. He feels like he killed his neighbor and obviously the neighbor’s family is / was very upset.
  • Caller got a divorce from his wife and started to have an affair with this other married chick who was going through marriage counseling, she ended up getting a divorce but he’s not sure he’s totally into her. He feels like he might have helped in her decision to get a divorce.

  • A Cinemax story

    Caller went to a concert with his wife and their friends, went back to the friends’ house and got all wasted. Caller leaves and goes home to go to bed. He wakes up to what he thought was his wife on top of him giving him a blowjob, gets inside of her and dropped an internal load. She gets up and leaves and he hears his mother-in-law say “thank you for fucking me” (or something like that) – so yeah – he fucked his mother-in-law, and came inside the same hole that his wife came out of. Fucking gangster as fuck.

  • Is your husband cheating?

    Caller who is married says his wife has put on weight and he wants to tell her she’s fat and disgusting, but he doesn’t want to hurt her. He says they have really crazy sex, she treats him really good, and he doesn’t want to be with her just for the sex, so he feels guilty. The answer? Television is telling his wife that she is a big fat pig.

  • Caller says he came in his shirt a bunch of times and his mom had to hand wash it, which is pretty much nothing when compared to the other guy who came in his mother-in-law.

  • AOL chatrooms

    Caller used to go into AOL chatrooms where he met this chick. Caller met up with this chicks guy friend to make sure he wasn’t a whack job or something. The guy comes over, seduces him and asks if he had anything sweet to put on his dick. Caller busts out grape jelly and the other guy puts it on caller’s pecker as well as lathered up his ass with jelly too and then started blowing him, and ate the jelly out of his asshole. He never did meet the chick, and there probably never was a chick in the first place.

  • Caller said his friend is in the Navy and was on the same boat that dumped Bin Laden’s body overboard. Caller started sleeping with his friend’s girlfriend, his sister, and his mom. The brother of the guy in the Navy caught him on several different occasions. He also said the mother and sister used to babysit him when he was younger. I’m not sure how much I believe this one, I mean banging the guys girlfriend, sister, and mother? That’s a super rare trifecta.
  • Caller said he preferred to fantasize about his girlfriend getting fucked by his buddies so he can bust a nut. It’s also possible that one or more of his friends might have banged out his stripper / whore girlfriend. The caller claims that he just thinks of her being a dirty whore, but won’t admit what he’s envisioning – such as exactly what he’s looking at in his fantasy, which means he’s imagining cock sliding in and out. He may just have some sort of complex or something else, but finally admitted during one fantasy his friend had a bigger cock than he did – which seems to confirm what he’s probably envisioning the most

There were 2 or 3 other calls at the end that I don’t really remember, so they must not have been too entertaining – I think one had something to do with a guy, a whore, she kept leaving him and coming back and she was pregnant and it wasn’t his kid. In preparation for tonight’s date, Toshua (I mean Joshua) went and got his shitty car washed, being Jewish (I mean thrifty), he got the middle priced wash. By the way, did you ever hear about the brother you never had? No? I’ll tell you. Your mom successfully gave birth after several hours of labor. The doctor took the baby and left the room to perform some tests. Several minutes later, the doctor returned with the baby in his arms and then suddenly began to punch it, kick it, throw it about the room and slam it against an adjacent wall. Your mom screamed, “OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BABY?!” To which the doctor replied, “April Fool’s! It was already dead!” OH!

And that’s when your mom started hooking

Show Re-cap For Monday 4/23/2012

Posted on by
Reply

Hellos to people read these bolg, today I likes you and tell of you fans strong of fight and don’t even take a shit if you don’t have to! I tell everyone do not take shits for anyone, only give shits, and see futures in balls. Talking was done over fans, listeners, New York, Chicago, Steve Astephen, fuckings, and monies. Oh noez, I sucks and are a pieces of shits. Okay, okay, I’ll stop talking fucktarded. It’s only funny for a little bit. For everyone whose read “I’m Awesome” all the way through, soon you won’t have to worry about spoiling anything for people by talking about the book, because bits and pieces from the book keep getting talked about on the show. Knowing that, you should probably hurry up and finish reading the book if you haven’t yet.

Ellis and Tully got a ride home from the po-po from Max’s Bar in Chicago, and they even got to go check on a domestic disturbance call. Ellis made out with some hot chick while his face was painted up with death mask makeup, and then Rawdog tried to get a smooch in on the chick too, but sounds like she snuffed him on the lip kiss and presented him with her cheek instead. Rawdog also tried to get all rock and roll on his keyboard and smash it, but the little fella wasn’t doing a very good job at it so Ellis took over and destroyed it for him. The guys met Danny’s mom at one of the book signings in Chicago, and according to Ellis his mom is hot as shit. HotMommyOD5 apparently told Dan’s daddy that Ellis is pretty good looking too – so yeah – this shit could get really fucking weird like really fucking quick.

Rawdog went to pick up his car this morning, everything was as it he had left it, movie props and weed were still there – so let’s just assume nobody but Rawdog and the tow truck driver had stepped foot in his shitbox on wheels. He still likes to share the blame with the local police department, because you know, it sucks having to own up to having a moment of tardness all by yourself. Along with Dingo, Cumtard and Skin stopped by the show today to bullshit and play a little bit of shock trivia and Skin used an annoying fake British (or Scottish) accent. As usual, Cumtard probably got the worst of the treatment – but he likes taking shots for the team so I don’t think he minds too much. It’s weird, because just as Cumtard takes shots for the team, your mom takes shots of man load from hordes of nasty men on a daily basis – for free. OH!

Your mom won an iron