Category Archives: Overviews & Re-Caps

Overviews & re-caps of broadcasts from The Jason Ellis Show.

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 8/28/2012

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This has nothing to do with anything, I just liked it.

Hi guys! Hi! Howdy-diddly-do? Sup? How are yuns? I hope you’re doing better than Lance “One Regal Ball” Armstrong. Is he banging the Olsen twins or something? I don’t even know. He might look good to the ladies and shit, but those ladies ain’t ever seen @rude_jude ballin’ all over the studio while in a k-hole. Speaking of studio, Ellis says it’s time the studio gets a makeover, he wants red carpet and black walls, looking like a photo developing room or some shit like that. Or maybe something else, he’s open to ideas. Being from Alaska, Katie’s pussy had permafrost until Ellis came along to warm up them fallopians. Ellis couldn’t finish the eat like Rawdog challenge yesterday, he skipped the KFC pot pie – which was probably a good thing or we might not be having a live show today.

I hope you’re happy with what you have done!

Dr. Drew stopped by the show today, he was there for an intervention for Rawdog and his eating habits. Rawdog got to hear how his life choices are making Ellis and Tully sad and that his eating habits are not only hurting him, they are hurting the people that love him as well. It was revealed that Rawdog had just seen his therapist a day or two previous to this encounter, and he actually spoke to his therapist about his eating habits and how it has been a topic recently! This is good news because the first step is admitting you have a problem. Rawdog feels like he’s being attacked, and his natural behavior is to not want to be told what to do. The more people are nagging him about his diet, the more he wants to do the exact opposite of what he knows he should be doing, eating healthier. This was actually a pretty involved segment with lots of little bits of information, but the gist is that Ellis is going to back off when it comes to calling out Rawdog for his diet, he will also make an effort to learn how to read more better (get it?) and Rawdog will make an effort to start changing his dietary habits.

Christmas. It’s not just for fucking a stranger in your house anymore!

Melody Jordan was on the show after Dr. Drew and a Danzig break, she’s a porn star who can do porn star things and Rawdog can’t help but to call Bigfoot, Bookfoot. That porn star chick? Her butthole has it’s own twitter, and the owner of that butthole talks a lot about shitting, her shit sewer, enemas, etc.She sounds like mommy’s little disgusting angel. Another porn star came in to join the intensely erotic “taking a shit” discussions, but I missed her name – her name isn’t important though, right? She really sold herself when she said she’s not very interesting, I assume when compared to a gutter slut talking about taking pictures of the shits she takes, you might be considered tame. But lady, let me tell you, I’d probably rather see your porn than the “butt mustard” girl’s porn.

Everything that’s been said about your mom? Yea, it’s all pretty much true.

Today was NMT and boy was it a treat! There was this band, they sucked. And then there was this other band, they blew. After that was another band, terrible. Then, another band, and then the terrorists won. Raccoons have bones in the peckers, and people make toothpicks out of those bones, ALL. THE. TIME. Our home girl @KimDultz called into the show, I think it was about her pussy and some kid related shit, and thanks to @CobraTits, you can listen to her call here. Sorry, I kinda didn’t hear because I was busy imagining her saying nice things about my wiener, can ya blame me? UPDATE: Consider this your notification, it has been decided that we’re replacing “Truck Yeah” with “Butt Yeah” until further notice. Thank you. And now something about your mother. As per usual, she was being her typical self, stupid and annoying. But I kinda felt bad for busting a nut right in her eye after she got done blowing me, so I asked her what was wrong. She said she had a yeast infection. I told her that now she knows what it’s like being with an irritating cunt. OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 8/27/2012

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Well let’s food it up!

Okay, it’s Monday, and the bus just pulled up to take us all to Awesome World. I know after this weekend some of you have issues with buses now, but I assure you, this bus ride is much safer – and way less sexy. So hop your Puritan ass aboard and let’s get this mutha rolling, shall we? So today starts the breakfast of champions challenge that originally started out as a bet between Ellis and Rawdog, but has grown to now include Tully – who is upping the game by eating a portion of what both Ellis and Rawdog are eating. Just in case all of this is news to you, let’s review. Ellis made a menu of 3 meals for Rawdog to eat, Rawdog made a menu of 3 meals for Ellis to eat, and Tully will be eating his choice from both menus. Breakfast today started with Ellis having a McGriddle, Rawdog having oatmeal with dried berries, and Tully had a sausage, egg, & cheese McMuffin and oatmeal. For lunch, Rawdog had a green drink and an acai bowl, Ellis had a Baconator® (yea I put the registered mark there – problem?), fries, and a drink from Wendy’s, and Tully had a chicken sandwich combo meal from Burger King. Dinner for Ellis will be KFC’s chunky chicken pot pie combo that comes with mashed potatoes & gravy, a biscuit, and a drink, dinner for Rawdog will be fish & a kale salad, and I think Tully is having a burger for dinner.

What? Did you think they ate souls?

Trampolines turn kids into crack addicted cats on catnip, or something very similar to that anyway. Rawdog and his girlfriend went to the crumping district in San Diego and stayed at one of her friends’ place. At nighty-night time, they started making out and doing some hand puppetry on each other – and then abruptly stopped just before Rawdog was able to release the Kraken. Ellis ran into some celebrity over the weekend, but Tully’s story takes honors when he ran into Glenn Danzig shopping at the same Japanese grocery store he was at. He tried to be sly about the whole ordeal so as not to be “that guy”, after awhile of following, the hunter became the hunted as roles reversed and Danzig started following Tully. Like a true champ, he stood his ground and eventually got a picture of Danzig and his girlfriend stocking up on wassabi or some shit. It’s gotta be weird running into Danzig as you and he are both out running normal, everyday errands.

The originator of the “No you are” defense?

Lucky girls @FaceplantLauren and @Shanwize1 were guests on the show today and Shantanee made the courageous choice to tell us she likes Fiver Finger Death Punch. As bad as that may sound to some of you, just remember that Rawdog likes Reverse Milk Magnet – therefore one could pretty much like anything and be in the clear. It sounds like there’s going to be a “round 2” fight between the girls at the next Ellismania, this time it may be the “Humongous Drunk Bitch Fight” as it was revealed today that Shantanee and her corner man were both drunk during the fight – now that’s a party! Vince Neil went some place and then got mad at some body and he yelled and stuff. Pee Wee Herman is 60 today, which is crazy when I think about him jerking off and using his signature voice to dirty talk. Some “band” (read: Tia, Jay, Mike, & Tom) did a cover of Death! Death! Die! – Put Your Balls On It, @CobraTits tweeted the link but I accidentally got credit for the tweet by mistake. Now that the record is straight on that, I had to set the record straight on one more thing… When your mom came to me and asked me to call a repairman because the dishwasher was broken, I told her I didn’t need to call anyone and I abruptly punched her in de face. Dishwasher has worked ever since. OH!

Show Re-cap For Friday 8/24/2012

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On this 24th day of August in the year of our Lord John Connor & The Resistance 2012, we celebrate it being a Friday by aggressively not giving a fuck. Amen, brothers and sisters. So big surprise for you sisters, you have balls – no dick, just balls. And that’s okay, but us brothers have dicks to go with them balls, we talk to our dicks, our dicks are cool – just sayin. Housewives need a good pounding, and I couldn’t agree more – I’ve done my fair share of pounding my own wife, right in her twat – and it was sweet. Some bitter dude on Twitter said Ellis sounds like a wanna-be Stern and is a hack, but that turd eater don’t know shit from shinola so, yeah! There’s another you inside you, deep inside you – and it likes to start off slow but quickly gains a faster and faster rhythm until you climaxes.

Ellis and Rawdog are going to see who can last longer in a hot or a cold environment, once again, the bet is Ellis has to eat 3 Rawdog meals and Rawdog has to eat 3 Ellis meals, and Tully’s just gonna eat it all because he’s in-fucking-sane like that. Lance Armstrong, not to be confused with Stretch Armstrong, has been stripped of all of his titles amidst the steroid use controversy. He has been banned for life from the sport as well, which who gives a shit really because I thought he was done anyway. Some caller chimed in to correct this whole situation by stating it was only the US anti-doping agencies are the ones burning Lance at the stake, not the International Cycle Union – which again, who gives a shit. Ken Shamrock tried to break up a chick fight when some massive hose beast jumped on his back and he put her ass on the floor, he thought it was a man. That’s an ugly bitch. Yea, I said it! So what? Suck on my inner me’s dick, man!

One of the hot porn chicks that was part of the super slow-mo shoot Ellis and Rawdog did over the previous weekend came in on the show today. She drinks, smokes weed, sticks things in her vagina, you know – porn star shit. Speaking of porn, Brazzers contacted Ellis yesterday but nobody knows what for yet, they said they’re fans of the show. But I suspect Brazzers might have other business adventures in mind, you hear me Rawdog? You wanna be a star? This could be your big break into the porn industry! There was some Canadian power couples talk on the show today, and I completely zoned out for most of that segment. That is until hordes of Canadians got all butt hurt and called into the show to voice their objections, kill humor, and completely ignore the joke that flew over their heads, dropped bombs, circled back around, dropped more bombs, and then dropped pamphlets to explain the joke. Okay, okay, okay, I was exaggerating about the “hordes” part, it was probably only like a handful or so, but still – holy shitballs!

Can someone please tell me why it’s only Faction 41 that goes out on the app or online player? Seriously, every fucking time the feed goes silent, I switch to any other channel and it plays instantly – go back to 41 and still no fucking feed. Why is it only that channel? This is ridiculous and someone needs to get down to the bottom of this! WILL! Fuck! Okay, I’m done complaining for now. But watch the fuck out channel 41, I’m on to your antics. Some computer tech dude called in on his Bluetooth ear piece, looking like a doof I’m certain. He wants to move in with Ellis, because two straight dudes at 40 years of age living together is pretty much normal. Which reminds me, shortly after, I ran into that same caller and your mom! They came into the same diner I was at, sat down at the counter next to me, and your mom ordered a bowl of chili. The waitress told her that I had just ordered the last bowl, so your mom looks over to see my bowl of chili untouched. She asked me if I was going to eat it. I told her no, so she took the bowl and just starts chowing. About halfway through the bowl, she looks down and sees half of a dead rat. She immediately vomits back into the bowl. I told her, “yea, I made it about that far too.” OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 8/23/2012

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Pound for pound it’s almost over, not summer, we’re still fucked on that, the week. It’s almost Friday. Just one more fucked up day dealing with grown ass children who cry and fuss when they don’t get their way. Well fuck those fuckin fucks, you have a re-cap to read and those snot nosed man babies can wait. In case you haven’t heard, pound for pound England is crap. All of it, I’m not sure why but I heard it on the radio so it must be true. If your not on Twitter, Facebook, the internet, or own a TV, then you don’t know that UFC 151 is cancelled because Henderson injured his knee. Pound for pound the A6K is taking another dive and this is probably the last run for the ‘ol girl. Ellis is thinking about getting a car, something economical and affordable, like the Dodge Challenger. Ellis is back in the blow job game, receiving not giving, and for some reason Dingo is rather obsessed with the details of this encounter. Were you standing? Pants all the way off? Did you smack her forehead with it? Pound for pound it was a bit creepy.

America throws out around 40% of its food, this makes that little kid in the commercials cry. Too bad he’s stuck in some shitty third world and not here, he would love our dumpsters! Wondering which candidate your most likely to vote for, go to ISideWith.com and fill out the form and then go on not giving a shit like the rest of us. Then there was moto news, kinda, talk about off shore drilling, fossil fuel consumption, then Chad Reed. It’s a perfect conversation circle. In Ohio some dude is pulling the greatest prank ever, a prank that I myself want to do in the worst way. He has a Bigfoot costume and is fucking with people in the woods. Here is the video.

The guys did a little taste test thanks to Tully. You guessed it, weird Japanese food. This is what was on the menu: dehydrated squid, seasoned seaweed, pickled plum, canned quail egg, fermented soy beans, cheese milk candy, and coffee jelly. Sounds yummy. Horse Force, a force of super horses! Never heard of it? That’s because it was just made up and is going to blow up your children’s morning cartoon adventures! Who doesn’t love horses, and camels and Robert Redford Robot?

They crunch!

Do you have AIDS like symptoms but don’t have AIDS? If you do then your fucked and you should probably stop reading this and go to a doctor. Some people have it and nobody knows why, they just do. Sometime in the near future Josh and Ellis will be swapping three meals and seeing what it is like to eat each others diet for a day. I am actually looking forward to this, mostly because I want to hear what each of them picked for the other more than I want to know their reaction to eating the actual food. Did you know that yer mum wasn’t always a disgusting trash hound? She used to be a disgusting trash hound with a dick, before the operation, OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 8/22/2012

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I would like to start off by thanking the SiriusXm app for being a total pile of shit that was shit out by yet another piece of shit that previously ate it. I missed the first 15 minutes due to this fucktardedry and caught the part where Ellis said that he signed the papers for the house in Tarzan. I’m not from LA so this means as much to me as knowing where Burbank is, sorry Dave. A good friend of the EllisFam, Cody, called in today to thank the Fam and mainly Dutch for their support through his rough emotional patch. This is one of the astonishing things that the EllisFam is known for, helping our brothers and sisters in their time of need, that and giving Dutch handys, you know you would. That led to the discussion of taking depression medication, and the survey says, why not? Ellis wants to have his am show played on Faction, as if we haven’t already heard, Mittens Romney drove with his dog on the top of the car bla bla bla, we covered this about a month ago. The surprising this was that Rawdiggidydog was the only one who remembered that, oh and about 500 people on ellismania.com.

Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger are getting married, and according to TMZ this will mark the first lesbian marriage in the Rock World so congrats to the two of them. Rawdog still chooses to defend his McEating habits even though he pissed out a kidney stone. He he is even going as far as to say that carbonated beverages don’t attribute to them. If carbonated drinks don’t cause kidney stones then internet porn isn’t the cause for my sticky keyboard. A brand spanking new game was played today, no it wasn’t guess whats in yer mums smash box, it was, ummmm, I forget. Lets just call it Caller Bingo. Basically a restaurant owner, police officer, elected official, gay porn star, cowboy, etc., had to call in and the guys marked off their bingo boards. This game took forever and was slightly amusing but I’m pretty sure that they won’t be playing it again in the near future. Breaking news, chicks love their boobies and vaginas and so do I! Josh doesn’t know exactly where his girlfriend of 2 months lives exactly. She says its because shes embarrassed or some shit, I think its because they are a secretly working for Opie and Anthony and are stealing show secrets from McTumblebum. Would you take 4 dicks in the ass for 500 thousand dollars cash tax free? If you say no then I know your lying, yer mum did it for bus fare and a half eaten hamburger, OH!