Monthly Archives: April 2012

Show Re-cap For Monday 4/9/2012

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Easter is over and so is your fucking life if you don’t read this post in it’s entirety, because I have some potentially life saving information for you later on, but first, this: EllisMania 8 dates have been changed, again, no I’m completely serious, and these are solid dates. *wink*wink*nudge*nudge* In all complete seriousness, it is July 14th, so there ya go – or not – whichever. Ellis went riding crotch rockets with Donald Schwartz, Grant Cobb, & some other dude this weekend, and if you didn’t already know – Donald is apparently not afraid to die. Aside from fucking with dangerous animals, and skydiving, he pops wheelies! As fun as sport bikes are, it’s usually only a matter of time before something not good happens – so let’s hope Ellis doesn’t get to keep the bike for long.

In business news, Microsoft paid over $1 billion to acquire 800 patents owned by AOL, and Instagram was purchased by Facebook for $1 billion. Also, we are all fucking poor when compared to the aforementioned technology companies, so who gives a shit? Ellis and Rawdog might get married, for gay rights of course, and I for one would support their union. In sporting news, tonight is the big go-kart race with a ton of people for the Big Fucking Mega-Boat movie. Rawdog got stuck in a corner while riding go-karts previously, and it was also revealed that he has bumped the shit out of his sister while driving bumper cars. And in weather, titty sprinkles.

Now with the ever so important, potentially life saving news that was promised earlier. The CDO and other International agencies are warning people of the potential for acquiring the deadly AIDs virus. How do you make sure you don’t contract this deadly virus? Scientists say it’s simple, first is to identify the carrier (see image below), and the next step is to stay away from the carrier, which goes by the name of: mom. OH!

Go Karts – 6/21/10 (History)

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The crew is out filming “Big Fucking Mega Boat” at the K1 Speed Indoor Go Kart facility today thanks to Donald Schultz. However, the original idea for go kart racing actually dates back nearly 2 years ago. J.Ellis was never able to organize it, but the idea has been bounced around ever since.

Rawdog vs. Burt Bacharach and J.Ellis vs. Mayhem? – 6/21/10

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The race over the weekend didn’t happen – 6/23/10

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They still want to do the go kart challenge, Donald Schultz in studio – 6/25/10

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Burt Bacharach still wants to race – 6/29/10

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World’s Greatest Wednesday, “How should Ellis spend his multi-million dollar radio contract”. Ellis wants a go kart track at his house – 8/11/10

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Burt Bacharach and Dingo meet, the go kart challenge gets brought up again – 8/12/10

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Ellis is still fantasizing about a go kart track at his house – 8/26/10

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Burt Bacharach still wants to do the go kart race – 8/27/10

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Andrea vs. Rawdog in a go kart race? – 2/24/11

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Show Re-cap For Friday 4/6/2012

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It’s Friday, it’s Good, and nobody gives a fuck – actually, Jesus might give a fuck, and several hundred million other people too, but not us. Am I right, or am I right? Seriously, answer that question below in the comments. Ellis got himself a bad motor scooter today, it’s an Aprilia, and according to Donald Schwartz, it’s better than a Ducati. Sounds like it was given to him by Donnie Schwitz, or more likely on loan to him.

As most everyone knows, Ellis is going to be signing copies of his book, but now he’s going to sign a few with whatever he feels like or is a good suggestion from fans. Then people that order a signed copy of the book have a chance at getting one of these “specially” signed copies of the book. I think the best of the bunch were: 1 book has the VIP number, 1 book has Rawdog’s number – and he shat bricks so in a trade to get that book off the market, he wrote down the names of the 2 other guys he jacked-off with in the same book with the VIP number! Check out the #BookSigning for more awesome suggestions.

Someone is giving enema’s to people, made of other peoples’ shit – you know, to cure some kind of bacterial something or another. Which is weird because I was always told that 2 shits don’t make a right. There was talk about old people driving, I think we all know what’s up with that – old people are dangerous drivers. Sometimes I think they’re more dangerous than a teen driving drunk.

The rest was jibber jabber about all sorts of little topics such as; Australia’s fucked up animals, Russia’s new anti-gay law, some chick supposedly misplacing her winning mega-millions ticket at a McDonald’s, some dude got drunk at a wedding reception and went around challenging everyone to a fight, Amanda Bynes getting arrested for DUI, some dude wanted to know how to meet women because he’s on the road a lot – apparently he hasn’t met your mother yet, and that major whore you call “mom” has perfected her latest sexual maneuver – called the minivan. OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 4/5/2012

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Today started out with a bang, Ellis broke up with his girlfriend.  Please let me know if you are surprised by this, I believe there is a short bus and helmet waiting for you.  Jason also came to an emotional realization about himself and Andrea.  I would tell you more, but I won’t because I missed part of it. (Notice a theme here.)  After all the emotional babble they started talking about shitty music, mainly Radio Head.  One would assume that RawDog would be the go-to guy for this topic.  You would be wrong.  Not only does Josh like shitty music, he thinks good music is shitty.  Wow, wrap your head around that one.

Then they got onto the subject of John Travolta and that hes a good dancer or some shit.  But much more importantly, the worlds biggest fan of The Jason Ellis Show called in.  Honestly, I almost pissed myself.  This “fan” thought he must have been talking to the call screener, sorry, call screeners. All three of them.  Had quite a lengthy conversation and even saying how he could recognize the crew in a restaurant just by their voices alone.  I wish I had the transcript, this was the definition of radio gold.  A must listen tomorrow morning.

Ferdinand Porsche died, raided New York, has lazer eyes.  Jim Marshall of Marshall Amps also died, or maybe the Marshall clothing store guy.  I’m not sure, I should ask RawDog.  Then Jeremy Williams and Gangie (probably butchered the shit out of that name) from Fortune Gym stopped by.  Jeremy is going to give Josh boxing lessons so he can kick some cunt and everyone can see titty.  What more inspiration do you need.  Then they talked about some shit I don’t want to get into so moving along.

Schultz came in again, probably had to pee but he stayed a while this time.  They talked about go-karts and the Big Fucking Mega Boat movie.  Then Donald left, again.  The boys took calls from the listeners and got some pretty good ideas, and a lot of really bad ideas.  The general thought is, MORE BOOBIES.  Can’t go wrong with that.

Then they played a base ball trivia game with ball clamps and the RC car. I’m sure you know how the game went with Jason and Josh’s extensive knowledge of sports. And then it was the usual final calls time.  “Jason your great” “Cum Guvenah” “Can I talk to Ellis” “My 5 month old son lost 70 pounds listening to your show” the usual stuff.  The only thing more usual is the excitement of the horses when your mom goes to the stables, OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 4/4/2012

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I am back to grace you with my whimsical writings and often humorous tales of excitement, passion, and woe.  Now that the bullshit is out of the way, today was a busy show.  Everything started out with Ellis wanting to be a somersaulting moto dolphin saki or some shit, then there was mention of Ellis being on Fox and Friends.  From their conversation I’m pretty sure its not the Furry porno that I, never mind, moving on.

Then things turned into money and if its still masculine to make less than your wife.  The over all consensus is, fuck yeah. Then they got into the issue of dating a porn star which means all your shit is bought with dicks.  The cup your drinking out of, dicks.  The soap you wash your ass with, dicks. You get the idea.  Moving further on, Fred Durst isn’t a douche after all, he’s a SUPER DOUCHE.  Apparently after signing with his new label he kicked a couple long time band mates to the curb.  Too bad so sad.

There was talk about the EM8 fights, i didn’t hear it because my phone app is a piece of shit, but there was something about @shit_tobboggan fighting.  Then @mayhemmiller stopped by, did some shit, talked loud, said something about making sweet sweet love to his lady friends, then talked about jacking off.  Pretty typical Mayhem conversation.

@Donaldschultz stopped in for a Redbull and a tinkle. Best guest appearance ever.  After the confusion over the Schultz incident the boys started to come up with character names for Big Fucking Mega Boat and the phones and Twitter were flying.  There were too many names to mention and I will assume this took the place of Worlds Greatest Wednesday.

During final calls my mobile app once again took a shit and I was unable to listen to the rest of the show. I really wish Sirius would fix this issue because much like your mom, this app sucks massive donkey balls. OH!