Tag Archives: Forrest Griffin

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 6/26/2012

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I speak the truth! Just kidding

Holy shit! Did you guys hear the news that rocked the world today? Rawdog is now engaged to that chick he’s been dating and they plan on moving to Rhode Island because that’s where her family is from, so no more Rawdog on the show and Rude Jude will be taking his place! Fucking huge bummer, but could be kinda cool having Jude on, right? Well that would be some shocking Asia news if I wasn’t totally lying my ass off right now. Really though, he hates hot chicks just as much as he hates MMA fighters, but loves a chick that can twirl a baton. As Tully has speculated before, Rawdog really does enjoy when he gets punched in the nuts with the Hulk hands. This was confirmed today when Rawdog punched himself right in the dick, harder than Tully has ever punched him. In other, actually truthful news, Ellismania8.com is now online and ready to siphon the money out of your pockets. You know how Ellis ran into Big Black while he was in Miami doing the Hooters judging shit? Yea, well now Big Black wants to help judge the bikini competition at Ellismania 8! That’s motha fuckin’ dope, y’all! Do work, son!

MMA makes you gay

Ellis got his A6K back after West Coast Customs had finished fixing it up, the inside looks brand new, has a navigation system for dumb dumbs in it, all the electronics work in it without breaking all the other shit, and now he’s in love with West Coast Customs. Rightfully so I assume. They offered to fix up the outside of the truck as well but he declined, probably a wise choice or it would’ve come back with massive wings and glitter on it or some shit. All kinds of trash talk flying between Anderson Silva and Chael Sonnen, sounds like Anderson is finally losing his shit and says he’s basically going to ruin Chael’s face for all his trash talking. We all know a lot of fighters do this to help sell tickets, but Anderson has never really gotten into the whole trash talking game so it is rather odd to hear him go off like that. Sad vegetables aren’t as good as happy vegetables, which makes total sense when you think about how they were raised. I mean, if the vegetables’ parents were abusive or addicts, one would expect life to be much more difficult for the young vegetable.

Facts about your mom

Good news for @Dutch_RDS, he’s getting his shot to fight at Ellismania 8 in the blindfold shock collar fight – so congratulations to him! Ellismania 8 is getting bigger and bigger by the fucking day with guests such as Kit Cope, Danny Martinez, Kenji Gallo, Gabe Ruediger, Forrest Griffin, Stephan Bonnar, Big Black, Mayhem, and more! You shitheads that get to go to Ellismania 8 are lucky as fuck. I hope you all enjoy yourselves and you better take a metric shit ton of photos and videos so the rest of us can live vicariously through you! 50 Cent got in an accident when a Mac truck rear-ended his SUV, sources say the Mac truck is now in hiding after receiving death threats. Today was new music Tuesday, and fuck all that noise, we ain’t talking about it. That Laura chick that gave Ellis his current voice altimication machine was on the show today to give him another fuckin’ TC-1000 Boner Jam Fucker Upper v2.74 altimication machine that has a touch screen and shit. I want one so bad but I ain’t got $800 to be pissing away just so I can call my wife with a creepy voice.

I got the magic stick

More Wolfknives members called in to get their names today, and according to my accounting records there is currently $2.4 million dollars worth of memberships. Also, I am not an accountant and I keep no records – for legal purposes. Some dude who has at least two ex-wives and is an investigator, watched his first ex-wife have sex with some dude. I’m guessing the whole trust issue thing came into play while he was practicing his Magnum PI skills on her. Speaking of practicing, your mom has been going to the gym a lot lately. After all the dudes are done working out and smooching themselves in the mirrors, they all got in a circle with your mom in the middle and took turns shitting in her mouth. You thought there was gonna be a circle jerk story there, didn’t you? Don’t lie! But seriously, she has been going to the gym and putting the 25 pound kettle bells in her snatch. You have to tell her to stop, people are complaining. OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 6/20/2012

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Alright folks, were halfway done with this week. For some it has been good, others it has been a typical shit storm of bad service, torn pants, forgotten phone chargers, and all around cluster fuck. According to deaf people, they don’t want to hear. According to me, I like hearing, it would really be hard to listen to the radio if I had to read subtitles all the time. Ellis went to a titty bar while waiting for Bestie and others to join him at a club, where he posed as a bisexual man mounting cock lover who also digs chicks, and apparently the “No sex in the Champagne Room” rule does not apply here. Well sort of. More like a hand jobs are okay clause but the price is ass makeup on you slick new white pants. Cavino is funny, or is it Rich? Nobody’s sure but one of them is funny. Comics are all stealing material whether they know it or not, just like this web site is constantly raped for material by all the top comedians. Except girl comedians, this shit is way too funny for them.

Forrest Griffin will be appearing at Ellis Mania 8 as the MMA Sasquatch, so honestly folks, don’t fuck with the Sasquatch, he will fuck your shit up! Shit Nacho is sad, I don’t know why nor do I care. He works on the greatest radio show on satellite radio. I know some people that would give their left nut to be in his position, damn kids don’t know how good they got it. The guys went over more costume ideas for some of the fights, Ellis is pegged on being a Mexican Bandito and some of the other ideas were a ballerina, hot dog, cow, pizza, taco…..fuck, now I’m hungry. And to the astonishment of us all, Rawdog can’t properly identify a jockey. Yes, I said Jockey, those short guys in helmets and matching pants that carry a short whip and RIDE FUCKING HORSES!

Hey, are you a fat ass? Do you like to get wasted but hate driving your rascal to the store to buy all that beer? Well do I have great news for you. Now with Gastric Bypass surgery your lazy nacho eating ass can get skinny and get drunk faster! Just when you thought you couldn’t get any lazier. There was no Worlds Greatest Wednesday today, but we were graced with its power bottom partner, New Music Tuesday, on Wednesday. Josh did it backwards again where Ellis and Tully guess the artist and I think that it should stay this way, games are more fun than just having to shove pencils in your ears to stop the torture. Rawdog’s pick of the week was some whiny bitch singing a song about whining and bitching, you should check it out. Not really, don’t, trust me.

Tully and Fuck Burrito made some new Celebrity news that informed us all that Celebrities are working so hard that they are unable to sleep or properly hydrate themselves. It would appear that this is an epidemic and should be dealt with immediately, never mind the massive amounts of drug use, that isn’t a factor. Final calls were pretty good today, our friend @bwstrangler called in about his “buddy” forwarding a picture of his dick to all of his and his wife’s family. This call was great but it was only to be topped by the 12 year old girl that called and after having a little lesson in proper girl edicate, left us with “cunt.” Well done little girl, your daddy must be proud, wherever he is. Dean Wilson also called into the show but with his heavy accent I couldn’t understand a single word he said, much like yer mum when she tries to talk with a mouth full of dicks, OH!