2012

Posted on February 24, 2012 by bitPimps 中

It’s Friday and you know what that means: Sheep are fucking dumb and Rawdog’s car is a pile of shit. There was talk about making a new Rawdog t-shirt, and you know that’s a fucking killer idea so hopefully that actually happens. I even came up with concept t-shirt that I’d totally wear. See it over there on the right? No dude, click on it. It’s right there. ==> Other ideas came in, such as “Free Rawdog” (like Free Willy), “Where’s My Trust Fund”, “Welcome To The Jigga-Budda-Boo Show”, “Feed Rawdog” (like Paris Hilton holding her dog but with Ellis’ face on Paris and Rawdog’s face on the dog), and of course “Godwar”. There were more but I’m already tired of typing t-shirt slogans, so let’s just keep pushing forward.

Ashanti. I just wanted to say that I typed her name once in my lifetime. Plus it sounds funny, almost like a cute swear word or something. Anyway, enough about her. Also, The Oscars. And also, enough about them too. Fuckin’ Oscars are fuckin’ stupid. Hey, here’s a totally disturbing picture of a hairless bear. Fuck that thing too, after all it is Who Gives a Fuck Friday. Flibbertigibbet. Just wanted to type that too, sorry. Moving on…

From Tully’s Bullshit news segment, an 8 year-old got a sex change, some dude got arrested for having kids spit, piss, and shit on him, and some unlucky chick in Texas got shot, from a gun fired in Mexico! The first two stories are fucked up, the bitch that caught some lead – that’s fucking awesome (as long as it doesn’t happen to me.) A 20 ton boulder fell on some dudes car and he lived. He’s a couple inches shorter, but he lived. Okay, that last part I totally made up, he’s not shorter – or is he?

More Cumtard torture today, he had to make some “shocking” confessions – so you should totally read into that. Shocking is the key word there in case you’re a total moron. And if you are a total moron, then read this next sentence: Fuck! He’s getting shocked you fool, I don’t know how you even exist. Okay, back to shocking confessions:

When he was a little kid, he did some gay shit a couple times. His mom put him in daycare, he was 4 or 5 and he bit some kids nuts. We’re talking pants down and teeth to bald nuts. Disturbing.
He said when his whole family would be over at the house, he used to hide behind the curtains and punch his boner. Creepy.
At summer camp when he was around 6 or 7 he and another kid got out of their sleeping bags and touched each others wieners. Shocking.

It’s Friday, I’m bringing this thing to an end, and I’m calling your mother to come over so I can take a dump on her chest. OH!

The Tussin Penny (Logo)

Posted on February 24, 2012 by CobraTits

Download (link to MP3)

Show Re-cap For Thursday 2/23/2012

Posted on February 23, 2012 by bitPimps 中

Yeaaaaa motherfuckers. Let’s just jump right into it. Talk started off with a Tweet Tully had made the night before, about a hotel where you can act like a baby. I believe the consensus is that it would be a great idea. Then it turned to what’s the greatest thing to spend $2000 on. I don’t think that went anywhere, or if it did, I missed it. There was quite a bit of talk about Jason’s upcoming book, “I’m Awesome: One Man’s Triumphant Quest to Become the Sweetest Dude Ever”, and how high it might rank on the best seller’s list. Moving on…

Rawdog first smoked pot when he was a sophomore in college, during a night of playing strip poker and truth or dare. Sophomore in college / truth or dare. It sounds so stupidly innocent if weren’t for the fact that the chick Rawdog was crushing on ended up topless, and also ended up hooking up with some other dude. Wha-wha-whaaaa. Poor little fella. Hmm… what else was there, let’s see…

Hypothetical question: If you were 70 years old, would you rather lose your dick or your life savings? I say life savings, you’re most likely near the end of your days anyway, you could survive. That has to be much better than carrying around a colostomy bag that you’re constantly shaking and dropping because you’re old a frail. And you just know you’re getting piss all over the place, pants, car, chair, etc.

Sounds like EllisMania 8 will be moved from the weekend of May 12, to the weekend of May 19 because Andy Bell (@andybell) has something to do the weekend of the 12th. Alicia, one of the chicks that fought in EllisMania 7 dressed as a taco was in the studio, she didn’t say much. So yeah, that happened. The future version of Jason Ellis called into the show, he was 50 and had some really uplifting and solid advice – life is going to get worse but it’ll also get better and something about skiing moguls.

And that’s where I leave it, stop, end, finish. I know, kind of an abrupt finish to a masterpiece, right? That’s just what I’m used to, your mom likes it when I finish like that all over her face. OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 2/22/2012

Posted on February 22, 2012 by bitPimps 中

It’s Chad Reed Day (#ChadReedDay) and that’s all you fuckin’ need to know. You can check out some very real and accurate #ChadReedFacts submitted by everyone, including Chuck Norris. People also sent in their poems and haikus of Chad Reed, which were totally endearing, like OMG!

Amy Schumer (@amyschumer) came on the show today, she’s a comedian / actor, and also female (you may have already figured that out.) Considering how the last interview with a female comic went, I think people were anxious to see how this interview went. And it went really good. What? What else do you want me to say? It’s not like I’m going to do a word for word, play by play of her interview. She was actually on the Rawdog channel (not Josh, the comedy channel on Sirius XM) with Ellis awhile ago. They were guests and people would call in and try to make them laugh for a chance at winning $1000 or something. Which if you thought the finger banging story she told sounded familiar, that’s why, apparently it’s a “bit” she does.

Let’s not forget, today is also World’s Greatest Wednesday, which is inconsequential compared to Chad Reed Day, but that’s why today was world’s greatest Chad. So let’s just go right into the list and their placement:

Chad Reed & Chad Weed (the drug dealer from Toronto)
Chad Muska
Chad Kagy
Chad Ginsburg
Chad Ochocinco

Since it’s such a special day and there was only a top 5 for world’s greatest Chad, here’s another list for world’s greatest Reed:
(shout out to @mike_in_canada for jotting down the list for me while I violated your mother)

Chad Reed
Artie Reed
Tara Reid
Chopper Read
Ellis’ ability to read

And that’s it for World’s Greatest Wednesday. Enjoy it, bask in it, take it out for dinner and penetrate it. It was also new music day today, Rawdog got his ass chewed and spit out for playing shitty music again. Cumtard ate more of his pubes while getting electrocuted, it sounded pretty disgusting as he was gaging on his pubes. You know, a little more punishment before he leaves the show is never a bad thing. Plus he has to get rid of his bag of pubes before he leaves the show. It was mentioned that maybe since it is Chad Reed Day, maybe he should be eating Chad Reed pubes as it might give him superpowers.

And, grand finale time… are you ready for it? Are you really ready? Really, really ready? The Chad Reed was on the phone for the end of the show. That’s right, the fuckin’ ledge, Chad Reed. He was in good spirits, talked about how he’s coming back next year to rule shit and also said something about how he just absolutely destroyed your mom’s box. OH!

Happy Chad Reed Day! – 2/22/11 (History)

Posted on February 22, 2012 by CobraTits

It’s Chad Reed Day 2012 (or should it’ve been 2/2/12?). In honor of the wounded SX champion let’s rewind the clock back to 2/22/2011. Reed has just come off his very first win as a team owner in San Diego. Danny & the Dingo are in studio to help Rawdog and J.Ellis celebrate.

Download (link to MP3)