Rawdog’s computer

Today started off with a little bit of “Can You Feel Me Dog Center” because Ellis was about 15 minutes late to the show, and Rawdog’s computer is freaking so there was almost no “New Music Tuesday” for you – which I know some of you would be totally bummed about. But low and behold, he used Ellis’ computer and New Music Tuesday went ahead as scheduled. Rawdog however prepared a game to play, as long as they have a printer, but the printer is also throwing an error. Rawdog is literally losing his shit over his computer not working, which I can kind of understand. He does have another date tonight though! You have to love the Swinghouse Studios, what a shithole. Tully grew a massive set of tits today, he took sole control of his kid this morning at 7AM, did dishes, laundry, went grocery shopping, made lunches, and then took off his apron and bra to let the girls breathe. He actually called it being “Super Dad”, but I like to think of it as “I’m The Woman In This Relationship”.

There might be a new, massive fight at Ellismania 8, but it’s not confirmed yet and if the past date changes are any indication, this massive fight may or may not happen so Ellis isn’t mentioning anything more about it right now. Robby Gordon and Everlast called into to the show today, the more import conversation of the two is that Everlast is campaigning for Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, Great Strides National Walk Event. As you may know, his daughter was born with cystic fibrosis – hence the song “Sixty-Five Roses”. Next were people calling in for a “Get The Cock Off Your Chest” segment, for anonymity sakes we’ll give all the callers the name “Toshua Michmond”, and now here are the calls:

A Rawdog love story

• Caller was getting ready to bang this hot chick but couldn’t get hard because he couldn’t stop thinking about his girlfriend and didn’t want to hurt her. He ended up quitting his job because he didn’t want to deal with the whole issue, and right there is where Ellis pounced on him and made him admit that he didn’t quit only because of this hot chick and their sexual tension.
• Caller had called the cops on his crazy neighbor who would go out in the middle of the street and start yelling obscenities. The police came, crazy neighbor guy dropped on the street like he was making fucking snow angels, had a heart attack and died. He feels like he killed his neighbor and obviously the neighbor’s family is / was very upset.
• Caller got a divorce from his wife and started to have an affair with this other married chick who was going through marriage counseling, she ended up getting a divorce but he’s not sure he’s totally into her. He feels like he might have helped in her decision to get a divorce.
• 

  A Cinemax story

  Caller went to a concert with his wife and their friends, went back to the friends’ house and got all wasted. Caller leaves and goes home to go to bed. He wakes up to what he thought was his wife on top of him giving him a blowjob, gets inside of her and dropped an internal load. She gets up and leaves and he hears his mother-in-law say “thank you for fucking me” (or something like that) – so yeah – he fucked his mother-in-law, and came inside the same hole that his wife came out of. Fucking gangster as fuck.

• 

  Is your husband cheating?

  Caller who is married says his wife has put on weight and he wants to tell her she’s fat and disgusting, but he doesn’t want to hurt her. He says they have really crazy sex, she treats him really good, and he doesn’t want to be with her just for the sex, so he feels guilty. The answer? Television is telling his wife that she is a big fat pig.

• Caller says he came in his shirt a bunch of times and his mom had to hand wash it, which is pretty much nothing when compared to the other guy who came in his mother-in-law.
• 

  AOL chatrooms

  Caller used to go into AOL chatrooms where he met this chick. Caller met up with this chicks guy friend to make sure he wasn’t a whack job or something. The guy comes over, seduces him and asks if he had anything sweet to put on his dick. Caller busts out grape jelly and the other guy puts it on caller’s pecker as well as lathered up his ass with jelly too and then started blowing him, and ate the jelly out of his asshole. He never did meet the chick, and there probably never was a chick in the first place.

• Caller said his friend is in the Navy and was on the same boat that dumped Bin Laden’s body overboard. Caller started sleeping with his friend’s girlfriend, his sister, and his mom. The brother of the guy in the Navy caught him on several different occasions. He also said the mother and sister used to babysit him when he was younger. I’m not sure how much I believe this one, I mean banging the guys girlfriend, sister, and mother? That’s a super rare trifecta.
• Caller said he preferred to fantasize about his girlfriend getting fucked by his buddies so he can bust a nut. It’s also possible that one or more of his friends might have banged out his stripper / whore girlfriend. The caller claims that he just thinks of her being a dirty whore, but won’t admit what he’s envisioning – such as exactly what he’s looking at in his fantasy, which means he’s imagining cock sliding in and out. He may just have some sort of complex or something else, but finally admitted during one fantasy his friend had a bigger cock than he did – which seems to confirm what he’s probably envisioning the most

There were 2 or 3 other calls at the end that I don’t really remember, so they must not have been too entertaining – I think one had something to do with a guy, a whore, she kept leaving him and coming back and she was pregnant and it wasn’t his kid. In preparation for tonight’s date, Toshua (I mean Joshua) went and got his shitty car washed, being Jewish (I mean thrifty), he got the middle priced wash. By the way, did you ever hear about the brother you never had? No? I’ll tell you. Your mom successfully gave birth after several hours of labor. The doctor took the baby and left the room to perform some tests. Several minutes later, the doctor returned with the baby in his arms and then suddenly began to punch it, kick it, throw it about the room and slam it against an adjacent wall. Your mom screamed, “OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BABY?!” To which the doctor replied, “April Fool’s! It was already dead!” OH!

And that’s when your mom started hooking