Tag Archives: Rawdog

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 7/10/2012

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Aggressive anal probably feels better than shitting out a kid.

Welcome to Tuesday’s re-cap of The Jason Ellis Show. The show stars Jason Ellis, probably most notably known as a professional daycare provider, Michael Tully, and Joshua Richmond. Only one thing in that last sentence isn’t true, can you guess which part? Sounds like Katie told Ellis that he’s a little weird when it comes to aggressive assplay, which sounds like a legit reason to be a little weird about it. The words “aggressive” and “assplay” right next to each other tend to invoke fearful thoughts. There was talk about how much of “sell out” someone might be, even if they’re rich. I don’t give two shits how rich I am, if the money is that good – I’d be out there putting my face on yogurt that makes your poops more regular if that brings me massive checks. I’m looking at you (and your tits), Jamie Lee Curtis.

I came here to drink beer and post a re-cap, and I’m almost done with the re-cap.

Some 16 year-old caller says his 17 year-old buddy went to the hospital and blew a .38, which really isn’t that great at that age – he should definitely be blowing at least aggressive 7’s. I should try to squeeze in a joke about 38 Special here, but I’m just not into it so you’ll have to make something up on your own. Hey man, weed should be legal, know what I’m sayin’? Ya feel me? Get it now? Do ya? Lots of callers had lots of opinions about alcohol and smoking weed and all types of ill shit. It was neat. And by neat, I of course mean snorefest. I’m pretty sure we all have “me and/or a friend drank too much” and “legalize weed, man” stories, they’re all pretty much the same. In some lying ass article, men don’t always need to have sex, sometimes they just want to cuddle – coincidentally, they call those men, women.

31 flavors under each roll of fat

In the saddest news possible, the band Chumbawamba is breaking up after 30 years. I know, I know. I’m already working on a fan site dedicated to Chumbawamba, where we can all gather and share our thoughts and talk about all the good times we’ve had while Tubthumping. Several callers claimed to have “funny stories”, and as you can guess, none of them were funny – the best part is that Shoebox lost $10-$15 dollars on betting whether or not the caller’s stories would be funny or not. They weren’t. New Jew Music Tuesday was tolerable today, mostly because Yelawolf (@Yelawolf) dropped some new shit today, even though nobody could figure out the lyrics, it still sounded good, and then the new “Slingin’ Cream” song was played today as well. Speaking of slingin’ cream, your mom and her “friend from work” have been tag teaming the delivery guy from Baskin Robbins for free treats since back in the day, when they were just 185 pounds. OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 7/9/2012

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Guess who… it’s me, bitPimps! I’m back and ready to lick you where you shit, you motherfuckers! Did you all miss me? You better have. EllisMania 8 is this coming weekend, some of you will be there in Vegas, some of you will be watching on PPV on Ellismania8.com, and some of you will be living vicariously through others. The god-damned A6K is being worked on again, one can only hope that means that it is being turned into a port-a-potty. Ellis has been looking at places to rent and is pretty much letting his 7 year-old daughter pick out the place, so most likely it’s going to have some kick ass shit that kicks all kinds of asses. Rawdog is still putting his penis inside of a girl’s vagina on a pretty regular basis, so shout out to that stud muffin. Ellis still has a hole in his dick from blue balling a whore about a month ago, before getting back with Katie. And dry hand jobs are fucking 6th grade bullshit, and that’s all there is to it.

If you watched the UFC this weekend, you saw Chael lose to Silva. I’d feel like a fucking moron if I talked as much shit as Chael and then lost. Equally, I’d feel the same way if Steven Seagal was part of my fucking entourage and shit. Speaking of Steven Seagal, he looked like Steven Van Zandt, he looked fucking ridiculous. This was Tito’s last fight before retiring, and looks like he made the right choice because he lost his fight against Forrest. In other fight news, a rapper beat up another rapper, amazing right? The Game apparently threw fists at 40 Glocc, and there were a lot of n-bombs thrown as well – but nobody got shot son, so according to Ice Cube, it was a good day. Canada is banning foreign strippers in favor of home grown, beady eyed, whiter than rice on a paper plate in a snow storm, women. I predict the one strip club in Canada will be going back to trading furs and pelts within the next arriving Nor’easter. Oh, and in preparation for his fight with Ruby Renegade, Rawdog will not smoke any pot until after the fight, he’ll just eat pot. Way to put the hammer down and take thing seriously, my man!

Apparently some softballers are into TJES, a whole gaggle of them are listening at any given time so just be aware of that. Some dumb bitch with big tits from Australia turned herself into authorities after trying to commit robbery. I’m not sure why I even repeated that, it’s not news or noteworthy, I mean besides her having big tits. I guess what it boils down to here is that if you have nice tits, I’ma talk about ya. Why do I get the feeling that watching the Playboy channel is like watching Cinemax? Neither have money shots, so basically it’s like going to a strip club and getting a boner and leaving with blue balls, only a lot worse. Would you blow your best friend if they really, really, wanted it and begged you for it, and they were in a really tough spot? I didn’t think so, by the way, I’m not sure our friendship is working out anymore. Just kidding. We’ll always be more than friends, we’re digital lovers. One thing that is no joke, it’s the meat curtains your mom has for pussy lips. They starred in the movie Rocky, in the meat locker scene, getting punched by Rocky. OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 7/5/2012

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Another Thursday has come and gone. For all you lucky fuckers out there this means that there is only one week until a weekend of debauchery and alcohol commences. From all of us not going, FUCK YOU. Ellis went to the doctor and as he hoped, his dick is herpes free. That’s great news for Ellis and all the pussy that lies in his path. Speaking of pussy, Raw Dizzle Dog is getting some kitty of his own. He didn’t go into much detail but he did say that he has given and received. They played a sound drop game, for what exactly I’m not sure, and the winner was Tiggy saying Red Dragons. Bitch Shit Nacho Supreme was sick today and his stupid ass thought it would be a good idea to still come to work. Fucktard.

Its big and it’s going to fuck your mind.

Big Fucking Mega Boat is in it’s second round of editing and we will probably see the final result in a month or so. Speaking of movies, the cult classic, Mixed Martian Arts made another comeback on the show. For many months I have blocked this movie from my memory only to have it hashed back up again. I would give you a link but I like you too much. Plus I can’t find one. There is a video making the rounds of a montage of people getting hurt with fireworks, and yes, I found it. In preparation for EllisMania the shock collars had to be tested and what better way to test them is with “Shocking Confessions!” It went as expected, some that were rather plain and others that made you wish the caller was faking it, but you know he wasn’t.

There was some girl in some state that ate KFC and got Salmonella and ended up with brain damage or some shit. They sued for millions. Why the fuck didn’t the parents of this girl just take her to the hospital instead of filling her bloated infested mouth with more chicken wraps. Congratulations, I give you Parents Of The Year. Our daughter drools but we have a new car. Final calls were about average. A lady cop called in that claimed to be hot and Tully made the point that there aren’t too many really hot lady cops. I must agree, usually the officers that are telling me to blow into the device are a bit rude and don’t appreciate a good doughnut joke. Speaking of blowing into devices, when yer mum took the breathalyzer test, she got it pregnant from all the left over jizz still in her jowls, OH!