Happy Tuesday my fellow queef sniffers! Ellis made a list to remind himself to do something. The list says “Show” and then there’s a lightening bolt. And guess what? BOOM! There’s a show today, so chew on that shit! You know crazy Aussie guy who isn’t Ellis, but he calls Ellis and leaves Gregtallica messages on his phone? Yea, him, Gregsy. He started the “you’ve got the toss” shit, he’d grab Ellis’ forearms and tell him “me, you, we’re in!” and how nobody else knew, but they owned shit. Gregsy was a talented photographer, a creative guy, but from the sounds of it, also crazier than a shit house rat on a fishing boat. I’m not sure what exactly that means, but it’s pretty fucking serious. This lead into talk about the “life of the party” type guys and how later in life, things didn’t usually work out too great for them. Guess who’s bailing out of lifting weights at the gym? NOPE! Not Rawdog! That’s right, Ellis bailed on Rawdog. Ellis is just going to buy gym shit for his, says it’s too hard with the whole drive time thing to get to the gym in the morning. Hey, shout out to us on the show today, thanks to Will Pendarvis’ recent interview. Ellis hates the website, which of course is exactly what we like to hear, so things are looking up! Just in case you weren’t already sure, having a micro dick would fucking suck. A little contest on the show today, Stupid Things Celebrities Have Said. There was a lot of stupid and I didn’t bother keeping track of it all, so you’re just going to have to trust me about there being a lot of stupid, or you can always listen to the replay or on-demand shows. Tickets for Death! Death! Die! “The Wreckoning” featuring a dead horse’s cock on Saturday December 15, 2012 at Cheetahs Gentleman’s Club have gone on sale, so if you’re one of the lucky ones that can make it out to LA, go buy your tickets now.
Next up, NMT and three tracks from the new Machine Fucking Head Live album. The first track was a solid 5 minutes of fans chanting “Machine fucking head”, then we heard a screamy track, then a track where Robb Flynn “fuckin’ thanks all the fuckin’ fans in that particular fuckin’ city” before going into the song “Darkness Within” with the crowd still chanting shit and trying to play sing-a-long. We also got to hear another full-on 5 minutes of talking from a new track off of Aerosmith’s latest album – which just so happened to be recorded merely feet away from where the guys are currently sitting. Trent Reznor made an appearance for his song on the Call of Duty: Black Ops II soundtrack. Next was a rapper named Murs, he said something about chains, pictures, elixers, and I think I heard a Snickers in there too. Christina Aguilera’s new song “Your Body” was played, pretty sure she drinks Go Girl energy drink. Another stinky piece of shit was up next, by Lana Del Rey, her rendition of “Blue Velvet” so you can guess how well that went over. Travis Barker & Yelawolf came in to put some funk on that previous stank, the first track was okay but nothing that’s going to make you okay with getting snowballed. The next track was full of rasta, and the final track played was kind of like spoken word Def Poetry Jam. Deftones were next and that shit got cut short as Mayhem entered the studio.
Mayhem entered wearing Chad Reed’s (from D!D!D!) helmet that he gaffled from EllisMania 8. He was thinking Ellis might give him a pop for not being on the show in such a long time, Ellis said he didn’t care, but it didn’t really sound like that was totally truthful. At any rate, Ellis and Mayhem fell right back into their typical routine and all was right in the world. Until… Rawdog mentioned there were still a few more tracks left on NMT. Shit. Okay, let’s just get this over with. A track from Green Day, if you’ve heard one of their songs, you’ve heard all their songs.
Shitlicking Dickerson Aaron Lewis from Stained, he played some shitty country song. New Soundgarden track, it sounded more like the Soundgarden of old that everybody loved but have mostly forgotten about by now. Finally, Rawdog’s pick of the week – it was some fecal freak German band called Mouse on Mars, and as you might expect, it was pure shit. Hollywood news was the next segment, I was stuck in traffic while this bit played. I have no notes about it, so we’ll just hit the skip button here. Mayhem tried answering final calls but got fired from that when he wouldn’t stop talking so the caller could be heard – duties returned to Cumtard at that point. Your mom has finally fucked all the straight men in this world and so now she has to move on to gay men. The big dilemma, how do you get a gay guy to fuck your mom? Stick a log of shit in her pussy. OH!