Y’all wanna see a dead body?
It’s taco Tuesday, titty Tuesday, twink Tuesday, whatever Tuesday. Fuckin’ pick one and enjoy that shit. Ellis saw a dead guy on the beach this morning, sounds like he was floating in the water all bloated and looking like an octopus and shit. Tully will be guest hosting on Hair Nation tonight and for the rest of this week, I’m anxious to see if he starts coming on the show in leopard print spandex pants and sporting bandanas tied around his wrists and microphone. Ellis went to a sensory deprivation tank yesterday for two hours, in accordance with his agreement with Rawdog that he would try it. Sounds like Jude might be going to Ellismania 8, that’s pretty fuckin’ awesome-sauce, right?
Come on ride the train hey ride it woo woo
Sounds like Rawdog banged a chick at the last Ellismania, to be more precise, he had 2 different chicks semi-fighting over him. I honestly don’t remember him ever bringing this up on the radio, but I do remember seeing a picture of him kissing on a chick at an after party at a bar. Big surprise here, a lot of religious people are really fucked up in the head and a lot of them hate homosexuals because Jeebus told them to or some dumb shit. That discussion went on for awhile, but nothing was really said that hasn’t already been said for centuries, basically it was just train wreck of fire and brimstone bullshit. A German chick was listening while on ellismania.com and I assume was lying when she said she does not do anal and is not into scat play. What German isn’t into sex involving fecal matter? That’s right, NONE! If you’re a short and fat girl, that’s a real bummer, if you’re short and not fat, you’re probably pretty fucking cute. If you’re tall and beautiful, you’re probably a model, otherwise odds are you’re a fucking Amazon, deformed, hideous oddity. Maybe you have gigantism and / or a mustache, I don’t know – nobody really knows, it’s not an exact science you fuckwit.
Swedish, German, does it really matter?
Some guy in Sweden masturbates so loudly he’s annoying the neighbors and the cops are just like “you guys deal with it, we’re not getting any Swiss cum on our shit”. According to one neighbor, he moans louder than an animal and it affects her state of mind. Of course it affects your state of mind, you’re probably super moist, ya Swede. Some dude claimed to be married to a chick with an identical twin sister, and unbeknownst to him, the twin came over and they got busy with sexy times but he didn’t realize it was the twin sister. I call straight up bullshit on this fucking story, it sounds like a rejected Penthouse letter. Some fucker from Missouri called in with a shit call, a message to you sir, me and @oxycottonjohn rule down here, so don’t go fuckin’ around and making us look bad, you shitdick.
Forever A Stallone
At 93 years of age, Mel Gibson’s father is getting divorced over alligations of elderly abuse. Way to catch that shit in time man, you’re on deaths doorstep and you want a divorce now? Shit must be fucking balls to the wall crazy up in Mel Gibson Senior’s Senior Center. There was some crime / murder / death / kill / funeral talk, (did you just catch that “Demolition Man” reference?) it was kind of a downer at times – especially for Ellis when it reminded him of his brother Stevie, but life isn’t always weed and titties and all types of ill shit. Next big call was some dude called in about his daughter getting molested / raped at knife point and wasn’t sure if he was going to give more information to the police or if he would take matters into his own hands. Since he called into the show to discuss it, that pretty much cements the decision, just give the information to the police because now you’re implicated. Hopefully prison justice prevails here because child molesters in prison don’t last long amongst general prisoners. There’s really nothing else to be said here, it’s sickening. No new music Tuesday today because Rawdog’s computer that he loves so much is a big piece of shit and wouldn’t burn a cd, so you can thank Steve Jobs for making fanboy toys, that eventually saved you from new music Tuesday – even though it has gotten better since Rawdog has stopped focusing solely on sad bastard, pumpernickle bread, bullshit. And as always, I have more information I feel I can tell you about your mother. You know how your mom says anal sex is like your first car? You don’t really want it, but your dad gives it to you anyways. So in case you don’t get it, your grandpa fucked your mother right in her asshole. OH!
