Tag Archives: Mike Tully

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 5/2/2012

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Sorry I’m late folks I got held up at the doctors office for my physical. Unfortunatly the office had incredibly shitty service so I had to go back and relisten to the show. Shout out to the new Sirius mobil app. Fortunately for me the doctor didn’t see any reason to check the ol skin chandelier which is a more than I can say for Rawdog and his fabulous roomate. Let me explain, Josh said he had a dream last night of a rather large, say man sized woman, giving him a handjob. Only a few days before he went on a super spectacular birthday bash with said roomie. Looking at the facts its not hard to see that two plus two equals HAAYYYYYYY! Jude was on the show again today and discussion turned to the ever so fantastic phenomenon, wet dreams, that is unless you do your own laundry. Ellis and Tully claimed to have never had a wet dream where as Jude had one while staying at a family members house and “murdered the sheets” with his load.

Junior Seao died and it is being investigated as a suicide, very sad news especially for the people of San Diego. The show turned to religious talk again, which turned to religious fanatics, turned to Afghanistan, then porn, then freaky Afghani bestiality and child porn. Apparently they’re not satisfied with good ol “wholesome” American porn. There was a bit of a teaser today for Worlds Greatest Wednesday but just as we attained full erection in preparation for the twitter raping, they pulled out leaving us with our dicks in our hand once again.

Ellis is starting to get into the Blues a bit, music not hockey, I know you Candians were thinking it. He got some suggestions for Lightnin’ Hopkins and Howlin’ Wolf, but no Muddy Waters or Blind Melon Chitlins. All these boys are so old they shit dust and fart rust, and also were the inspiration for modern day rock acts like Led Zepplin and others. Well, all but Blind Melon Chitlins, who famously sang a nice little ditty about chowin the beave.

Ellis cut out early today for a TV gig leaving us with the always great, Dog Center with Rawdog and Tully. Everything was going casual until our friend @sharkchucker reminded Tully that he has a 15 minute get out of work early card. And being the genius Tully is, he stayed, only to play that pile of shit Marlins song over and over. I think the only thing worse than that song is the noises that come from your mums flappy meat purse as she chases down the ice cream truck. OH!

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 5/1/2012

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Goddamnit Bob, be nice!

It’s Tuesday, it’s also the first day of May, so listen to what I say, or I shall proclaim you gay. Damn man, look out Ja Rule, I’m a rhyme master! On an unrelated note, two fucking minutes before the show started, my online player suddenly set me back about 8 whole donkey dick minutes so all my tweets are probably going to be off. By the time I tweet something, they’ll be on an entirely new topic. To that, I say filthy words and ‘scuse me while I curse the skies. There was some more dick talk today, specifically circumcised versus un-circ’ed – which lead into how much Tully thinks of the orgasms his son will have one day. And that, led seamlessly into retarded people and how when they stare off into space, they could potentially be thinking about how retarded they are instead of unicorns.

Don’t listen to her

Somebody claimed Venus and Serena Williams are virgins, it doesn’t seem to be confirmed, but I think the real potential story here is that it’s quite possible that they have penetrated themselves with a tennis racket. That’s just one theory I’m bouncing around in my head anyway. Apparently Octomom is broke and is masturbating in porn to make ends meat. And the real question here is, who in the fuck wants to see that ditch pig rub her bombed out box? Joanna Angel’s movie trailer for “Rock-n-Roll In Your Butthole” features music from Taintstick – you know you’ve made it when your band is played during a montage of anal scenes. The real kicker here is that Ellis’ then 3-year-old daughter is also in that song, so yea, that seems like it should probably be edited or something.

I hope this isn’t true, but it looks like Michael Jordon might be a huge asshole. First was his Hall of Fame speech in 2009, where everyone felt he was settling old scores rather than being graceful. It was also revealed awhile ago that Tiger Wood’s friends and lawyer claimed that Jordon had been a bad influence on Tiger – particularly concerning his affairs and such. And now Chamellionaire is claiming that Jordon is in fact, a super asshole. In the end, I don’t claim to know if Jordan is or is not an asshole, you can make that call on your own. And then there was new music Tuesday! And then I decided to not write about it! And now, since you don’t know much about your whore mother, I’m going to tell you another story about her when you were just a child.

Nobody likes your mom

A few days after Christmas, she was working in the kitchen listening to you playing with your new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and you said, “All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the fuck off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train.” She went nuts and told you, “We don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for two hours and think about what you’ve done.” Two hours later, you came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with your train. Soon the train stopped and she heard you say, “All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today. For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your luggage under your seat.” Your mom began to smile, and you added, “For those of you pissed about the two hour delay, please see the cunt in the kitchen!” The moral of the story here? Even when you were a kid, you knew your mother was a worthless whore. OH!

Show Re-cap For Friday 4/27/2012

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It’s Friday my neutral milky mother love boners, let’s make it gooder than shit, shall we? Tully was talking about how, thanks to Sirius XM, he’s been listening to genres of music that were popular in the late 80’s and early 90’s that he wouldn’t have normally been into – being a metal guy back then. I don’t know about you guys, but I can totally relate to that as in the past several months I’ve been channel surfing and found myself liking the Backspin channel, among others. Ronald Schultz took back his Aprilia motorcycle that he lent to Ellis, so that’s probably for the best considering how crazy Ellis is. But not to worry, because Ellis will be getting Thomas Hayden Church’s super Porsche to drive around for a little bit. And Surprise, Rawdog doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground – today he called the top of a skateboard the “front” and the bottom he called the “back”, and claimed that one of the boards had some “cool wood siding” on it. How can you not just absolutely love this guy?

A tranny wants to go out with Rawdog, he’s cool with everything except that whole “she has a dick” thing – I can respect that. If he’s still in his sexual slump at the age of forty, he’d probably let a tranny blow him though. Rawdog drank some of that kava that Jude brought in yesterday. This is surprising because apparently it doesn’t taste that great, and knowing how Rawdog doesn’t like anything but chicken nuggets, burgers, and chocolate, the surprise is that he drank it all. @DaniKalifornia had posted a picture of some massive BatWing (Warning: fucked up pussy lips ahead) to Ellis and I had decided to share an equally disturbing picture (Warning: vacuumed vag) as well. Turns out I ended up flinching Rawdog and a few others by it, which was totally unintentional – but also fucking awesome! The conversation naturally turned to Rawdog’s nipple jacking technique, which seems to be quite intricate as nobody really knows how to properly jack their own nipples off.

The Cum Challenge winner was announced today, although there were a lot of little po-dunk places that didn’t even have a major airport near them, this Heidi chick near San Francisco won. Heidi is married, but her husband doesn’t have to be there when Ellis show’s up, get what I’m sayin’ here? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. It was actually a bit funny because it sounded like she wanted Tully there maybe a little more than Ellis. That mean’s Heidi has most likely masturbated in the shower while thinking of Tully and his wit. Tully and Rawdog also setup a contest for the show today, “Who can cum faster”. Apparently they’ve both gone on the Internet in search of videos of men and women who climax very quickly. Listening to the audio only, really makes this segment fucking weird because your mind just can’t help but to make up images in your head to go along with the sounds.

The guys brought back the “Dude is it gay?” segment today after about a years hiatus. Some dude has a “friend” (we’ll call him Mr. X) who always asks his other guy friends to shave his balls. DING! Another guy met some Canadian dude off Craigslist who wanted him to come over, jerk-off and cum on his face for $80. So he put on some porn, got hard, started jerking it, creepy guy gets down on his knees in front of him and leaned back to receive the load on his face. My wife started yapping at me about something or another so I don’t know what the verdict was, but I’m just gonna go ahead make my own executive call here and… DING! Another dude woke up with morning wood poking out of his boxers and his friend said “good morning” and shook his penis like you would shake hands. Not gay, the “shaker” was like a daredevil comedian. Next caller said he couldn’t get off on just chicks in porn, he has to see penis penetrating “virgina”. I feel like that one has been asked before, but still, not gay. Next guy asked if it were gay to taste his own cum. The verdict was not gay.

Rawdog was forced to choose between getting a leg kick, or jacking off Ellis’ nips – so the obvious decision was to jack off nips. I couldn’t imagine how erotic that must be, and by erotic I really mean awkward as all fuck. Speaking of which, I remember when it was your mom’s birthday and we setup a few decorations, made a cum cake for her, and then we made sure nobody showed up because she’s just a worthless ditch pig that nobody cares about. OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 4/23/2012

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Hellos to people read these bolg, today I likes you and tell of you fans strong of fight and don’t even take a shit if you don’t have to! I tell everyone do not take shits for anyone, only give shits, and see futures in balls. Talking was done over fans, listeners, New York, Chicago, Steve Astephen, fuckings, and monies. Oh noez, I sucks and are a pieces of shits. Okay, okay, I’ll stop talking fucktarded. It’s only funny for a little bit. For everyone whose read “I’m Awesome” all the way through, soon you won’t have to worry about spoiling anything for people by talking about the book, because bits and pieces from the book keep getting talked about on the show. Knowing that, you should probably hurry up and finish reading the book if you haven’t yet.

Ellis and Tully got a ride home from the po-po from Max’s Bar in Chicago, and they even got to go check on a domestic disturbance call. Ellis made out with some hot chick while his face was painted up with death mask makeup, and then Rawdog tried to get a smooch in on the chick too, but sounds like she snuffed him on the lip kiss and presented him with her cheek instead. Rawdog also tried to get all rock and roll on his keyboard and smash it, but the little fella wasn’t doing a very good job at it so Ellis took over and destroyed it for him. The guys met Danny’s mom at one of the book signings in Chicago, and according to Ellis his mom is hot as shit. HotMommyOD5 apparently told Dan’s daddy that Ellis is pretty good looking too – so yeah – this shit could get really fucking weird like really fucking quick.

Rawdog went to pick up his car this morning, everything was as it he had left it, movie props and weed were still there – so let’s just assume nobody but Rawdog and the tow truck driver had stepped foot in his shitbox on wheels. He still likes to share the blame with the local police department, because you know, it sucks having to own up to having a moment of tardness all by yourself. Along with Dingo, Cumtard and Skin stopped by the show today to bullshit and play a little bit of shock trivia and Skin used an annoying fake British (or Scottish) accent. As usual, Cumtard probably got the worst of the treatment – but he likes taking shots for the team so I don’t think he minds too much. It’s weird, because just as Cumtard takes shots for the team, your mom takes shots of man load from hordes of nasty men on a daily basis – for free. OH!

Your mom won an iron