I’m sorry to report that the previous mid-week recap writer is no longer, umm…available. But you can relax because bitPimps has sent the Wolf…and I solve problems. As such, welcome to the inaugural edition of Wolfkisser Wednesday.
Now strip down and let me spray you with my hose so we can get started. (Spoiler Alert: That’s also how it will end) Continue reading
It’s Friday, the last day of the week. Like the last turd just hangin off your butthole, waiting for it to drop so you can get the party started, but be patient, if you wipe too soon then you’ll just have shit all over your back. And only losers have shit on their back and you’re not a loser. The guys kicked off the show talking about getting a proper shave and warm towels and other wonderful sounding things I will never get to experience because I’m apart of the unfortunate group that can only grow enough facial hair to be considered “molesty” and “rapey.” Mike Jasper is visiting today. He’s skinnier than Mary-Kate Olsen with AIDS, not because he caught the HIV but because he has weigh ins for a Muy Thai fight today. Then after weigh ins he’s gonna go tear up the Sizzler. They reminisced and 
spoke of a number of topics like national economics, social morality, geographic differences and the dynamics of cultures, and punching people in de face. They talked a lot about people punching people in de face, mainly in regards to alien Dana White and his UFC entertainment juggernaut. Then they talked way too much about being in style and having a stylist. A rather large leap from face punching. But then Will interrupted with Breaking MMA News, Gina Carrano will face Rhonda Rousey in December. This will be a massive battle of women with vaginas and will undoubtedly become a legendary tale among the gods in Valhalla.
Have you ever heard of Kickstarter? It’s a pretty fucking dumb idea where dumb fuckers come up with dumb fucking ideas and then other dumb fuckers give money to help develop their dumb fucking ideas. Here’s a few of those dumb fucking ideas, a dude wants to develop a key fob that links to your phone to help you bail from a shitty situation, invisible panties are pretty much a piece of duct tape to hide your beef curtains, a watch with a
Wanna see my little pony?
downloadable and customizable face (it’s the most successful Kickstarter raising ten million dollars), a virtual world where you can date fellow My Little Pony enthusiasts, Spike Lee tried to raise 1.5 million to make a vampire movie, James Franko wants 750K to make a movie about stories he wrote about himself but nobody gave a shit. How strong is Hotdog The Intern? He’s got knees of steel that defeat even the cummiest of tards and arms like trees that cannot be bent by even the strongest of Beans! He might literally be the second strongest man in the studio right now, third if Jasper is still there.
Back from the break we finally got to listen to the long awaited burnout clip that we’ve all been chomping at the bit to hear for the last two days. It sucked. But what doesn’t suck is Christian Hand and his wonderful gifts of music. And today’s gift is music from celebrities that should never have been allowed to step into the studio. Some of these ear raping “artists” are, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Paris Hilton, Eddie Murphy, Lindsay Lohan, Bruce Willis, David Hasselhoff, Mr T, Kim Kardashian, and that’s all I got. My player skipped and the last thing I could go back to was Mastadon so I thank you iPhone. You have saved my ears once again. I was going to add a bunch of links but you don’t want to see any of this train wreck. Some things in the Internet are best left to die.
A dude gave his wife a spreadsheet of all the times he asked her for sex and all the excuses she gave for why not. He should have then given her a list of why his girlfriend is way better, and hotter, and younger, and fucks like a rabbit on Viagra. Speaking of fucking 
machines, the big gay friend of The Jason Ellis Show, Frank DeCaro came by. What better to do with Frank than hit the punch pad and other manly type shit like knee strikes, spitting, bare chested titty slaps, and accusations of self felating. And just as they were talking about being able to eat your own ass my player crapped out on me once again. Pun fully intended so laugh damnit. If you could eat out your own ass you know you would, I know yer mum would, she’s already trying her best to eat out everyone else’s ass so why not add her own to the long, long, long list of all the poopers she’s puckered up to, OH!
Welcome to this Thursday’s recap of The (ever wonderful) Jason Ellis Show!!! I will open with the same words of wisdom that Ellis himself opened with this afternoon (or noon on the west coast) and say, “uhhhh…” Boom. Take that, Nietzsche, you mother fucker. Opening the show Ellis talks about how he is now the kind of guy who drives around with a dress shirt in the back of his car, because he is a man of many faces. Also, he doesn’t really get how all those business guys hang the shirt in the back of the car, because it creates a big blind spot and is dangerous, and he drives a Porsche and there isn’t a hook over the back passenger windows like in lowly sedans. But Ellis really is a man of many faces! He has 3 faces in fact- his RadioFace, his SuperDadFace, and his TVFace. His SuperDadFace has been out in full force with the kiddies, so much so that he’s pretty sure that his kinds are going to have bruised armpits from all of his poking and tickling and wrestling around. Speaking of wrestling, at one point Tiggie drop kicked SuperDadFace and managed to hit Devin in the process, which probably wouldn’t have been such a big deal, except she has rubber bands on her back teeth because she is getting braces. Tomorrow. Which sort of sucks, but Tully and Ellis agree that it’s better to get braces over with when you’re young, and at least she has the kind of parents that can afford to give her braces. Also…the ganked up teeth is totally Mummy’s fault. So there. Driving through the backstreets of Beverly Hills SuperDadFace noticed that some people in Beverly Hills are so rich that they’re houses are entire streets and they have driveways with statues and shit. But…that’s also kind of lame because if you have that much money why the fuck would you bother with statues and lame waterfalls and not install wave pools? Because the rich is wasted on the rich, and youth is wasted on the young, is the explanation that Tully provides and everypone agrees because Tully is like the fucking oracle of The Jason Ellis Show. Although…he admittedly stalks out BitPimps on twitter on the reg…so actually…BitPimps is the Oracle of The Jason Ellis Show and Tully just does a really good job of stealing his thunder. Back from my tangent and on to the tangent that was actually on the show: Michael Jackson was a seriously rich person and he had the idea right when it came to trying to buy cool and fun toys to have a grown up version of a little kid playland, but he sort of sucked in the execution and picked out bad toys. Really…he had a carousel and little boys aren’t interested in carousels…Mikey J should have had a construction site up in Neverland!!! Duh.
Ellis then wants Jetta to come into the studio and doesn’t want to yell for Jetta, but he also can’t find the Jetta button which he knows exists, but can’t find. So, Jetta!! Where is the Jetta button? Cumtard then comes in to tell where the Jetta button is and explain why it’s there instead of on the main page (it’s on show drops) and when Ellis presses it he decides that the Jetta button is too long or, as Tully puts it, it burns the listener’s ear, and they talk about Jetta being a white boy show pony and decide that his new button needs to be the creepy little boy from the Jetta commercials that goes “Zoom zoom” as it has the added entertainment bonus where Ellis and Tully can try to convince people that Jetta is the grown up version of that creepy little boy. Oh, and the THC Google button is awesome. Of course. Ellis then talks about how he wants to be sponsored by RockStar Energy because then he could have one of the RockStar Energy pole dancer girls in the studio on a pole dancing and occasionally kicking people in the head, because that would be awesome.
Somehow they get on the subject of Carey Hart and how he keeps having to have back surgeries because his back is absolutely trashed from riding moto. The man literally sacrificed his health and trashed the shit out of his back to further the sport and it’s amazing and sad at the same time, because he is years from being a competitor in the game and he is still suffering from it, as well as having the stress of Team RCH and Hart and Huntington, as well as being a daddy and a hubby and not taking any pain killers because he wants to be able to feel his face. Tully and Ellis talk about how it’s really hard to win in the long run with action sports and be set for life as a result of making a name for yourself. In fact, Tully brings up that it seems to be kind of hard for people in any sport to be set for life just for playing and brings up examples from Baseball where all these famous baseball players had side jobs in the off season and then after retiring sold cars and shit. Of course there are always that handful that are super famous and get tons of endorsement deals and don’t piss away all of their millions…but there are many more who have to be working schlubs like the rest of us once the cameras don’t want to look at their faces anymore. Except Joe Rogan, who is winning at the game of life. He is the winner of the winners of the game of life. In case you were wondering. They decided this after he tweeted something, but I missed what he tweeted because I impaled the roof of my mouth with a blunt object and started bleeding all over the place…and that is what I consider a legitimate excuse. Especially because I was driving when this happened and all I said to Hubbs was, “I need paper towels” and then spat blood all over the steering wheel. I am a hardcore bitch.
On the subject of sports, it’s that time of every two years again…the Winter Olympics!! Does anyone really care about the Olympics anymore? Ellis doesn’t. Tully doesn’t. I don’t really care either, if you were wondering…so no…none of us important people care. Hahaha…see what I did there? It seems like the only reason people care all that much this year is because they are in Russia and Russia made a big deal about hating gay people (because…Russia) and there are all sorts of shady Olympic things going down in the Olympic village as there are no locks or doorknobs on a lot of the hotel doors, you can’t flush the toilet paper OR fish in the toilet, and….how the fuck did the Olympics wind up in Russia again? Ummm…no one really knows, but it is the opinion of Tully and the Dingo that it’s because the Olympics are pretty fucking suspect and there was probably some money changing all sorts of hands. Ellis thinks that it’s a bit weird that people still care about the Olympics when it’s a big sham and says that the Olympics are like a shady version of the X-Games, which is kind of weird considering usually the younger things are the more weird, offbeat, suspect things. Irony at work, people. Tully thinks that the Olympics used to be way more entertaining back when he was 7 because when he was 7 there were only 5 channels on television and it was something different to watch, but that isn’t the world we live in anymore. Entertainment has gotten better and the Olympic Rings are showing their true colors. Plus, aren’t Olympians just a bunch of privileged kids who had parents that had tons of money to toss into their training and turn them into rich pricks meaning that, at their core, they are unrelatable to the average human beings that they are supposed to represent? A caller calls in and calls bullshit, saying that Olympians come from a lot of diversified backgrounds and often are talented kids who have crazy abilities and get sponsored by rich people throwing money at them. Maybe. But the jury is still out. Ellis says that you know the Olympics sucks because even the worst event at the X-Games is wayyyyyyyy better than Curling, which everyone knows is the worst event at the Olympics. Ellis then says that there should be street pole vaulting instead of parkour and he would love to watch a video of a ton of parkour pole vaulter’s eating shit in one big compilation and laugh his ass off for days. In fact, Ellis would love to do a stunt where he rollerbladed down a ramp to parkour pole vault over a canyon because that’s a whole bunch of horrible ‘sports’ rolled into one. But…there should be water at the bottom of the canyon…because no one wants to see him die.
Back from the first break Ellis and Tully are joined in studio by Frank DeCaro, who thought the Mike Tyson rejoin was Ellis doing a really good impression of Mike Tyson…when in fact it is Mike Tyson doing a really good impression of Mike Tyson. Then Frank brings up the one thing that Ellis didn’t want to talk about, which is the pending George Zimmerman Celebrity Boxing match. Why doesn’t Ellis want to talk about it? Cause it’s a bunch of bullshit! Who the fuck decided that Zimmerman was a celebrity in the first place? Isn’t this a horrible example to set for future generations seeking fame? All you have to do is kill someone of a different race in sort of whacky circumstances and have a highly public trial if you wanna be considered a celebrity, kids. Give me a fucking break. That’s really my issue with it. The issue that Ellis seems to be having with it is that it’s not going to be a real fight and whomever he fights isn’t going to murder him in the ring, which he deserves. Now, TJES talked about the Zimmerman/Martin trial a bit and they did a really good and objective segment on it that I applauded before I wrote for this wonderful, wonderful site, but I agree with Ellis…at this point Zimmerman needs to be punched in the face in a particularly no-holds barred kind of way. I mean. Really. Anyway, Frank DeCaro was super excited that he got a Wolfknives shirt and was “Oh Boy!” excited when Ellis explained that it meant that he is a part of a gang now, because Frank has never been a delinquent before. Oh boy! He then talks a little bit about his upcoming show about Showgirls and the various parts he plays in it, and his first audition since moving to LA where he walked into a room with a bunch of different versions of himself which he described as Tall Me, Fat Me, Really Fat Me, Ginormous Me, Old Me, Black Me, Jewish Me, and the oddball random straight guy. And they were all wearing bowties. Frank really wants to be a Regular on a sitcom and Tully pitches an idea where Ellis and Frank have their own sitcom where they are gay lovers that maintain their real life personalities and boom…hilarity ensues. Ellis thinks that story line could work for their characters to be on Workaholics, which would then obviously lead to their own spin off show, and then the rest will be history. Oh, we can dream, we can dream. Ellis then tells Frank that Cumtard is homophobic and a hole other sort of hilarity ensues as Cumtard vehemently denies being homophobic and Frank says that he himself is homophobic and doesn’t really like to have sex all that much with his husband, but truly enjoys having sex with himself. There is a lot of anal sex talk and it is explained to Frank that Cumtard would rather eat the ass of a 90 year old lady with diarrhea in her underwear than receive anal from an Asian man who is the best anal lover in the known world. Everyone else in the studio- Ellis, Tully, Jetta, Mike Jasper (who popped in a few minutes before), and Frank say they would of course rather have anal than eat that calamity, but CumTard holds out. Calls are taken speculating on whether CumTard is homophobic or not and some people come to his defense, one with an Asian slur (bad form, dude, the G word doesn’t look good on anyone), and finally CumTard says that he would rather have anal than eat a birthday cake crafted entirely from shit. Speaking of birthday cake, it’s Will’s birthday today! Happy Birthday Wilson!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They present Will with a Hate Bean cake and I imagine they all have heart eyes and pat Will on the back and have a little bit of a love in over the break.
Back from the break Tully informs us that police in Kansas City are still working to find the killer of Police Officer Jason Ellis on May 26, 2013 and are looking for anyone with information to contact them at EllisCaseETips@KY.Gov and any information in helping catch the perpetrator will result in a $200,000 reward. If you or anyone you know has any information, help out, do the right thing, share this on your social media site of choice.
In the studio, the guys are joined by a new guest! Chanel West Coast, who is a rapper, musical performer type cute button of a person that Ellis knows from Rob Drydek’s Fantasy Factory and Ridiculousness. She plays a sort of ditzy girl on the shows, but in real life is pretty smart and knows what’s going on. She admits that she isn’t as dumb blonde in real life, but after watching the show she noticed she got a lot of air time with the whole ditzy thing and decided to run with it, because that’s how it’s done when you wanna be successful ladies and gentlemen. Apparently Rob came across her while she was on Myspace and after she tried to get him to come to a couple of shows he asked her if he wanted to be on his show Fantasy Factory cause he was looking for a girl to fill the role. She said yes, and I guess you could say that the rest is history. And…that’s the second time I’ve used that cliché in this recap, and I apologize, but it’s midnight and I worked 14 hours today so my brain is a little fried. Ellis kind of flirts with Chanel, but kind of doesn’t because he sees her as a little sister and he talks about how weird it is when he sees her butt on instagram. Chanel talks about he rise to music fame, playing her single for Li’l Wayne and not being afraid of anyone…except for spiders, because she saw a wicked spider bite once and ain’t no one got time for that. She talks about partying a bit, not sleeping enough, and training with her new trainer because she wants a booty like Beyoncé (because…who doesn’t) and Ellis does his very best to be gross and wig out her publicist. They play one of her songs, New Feeling, I believe it was called, and it was pretty good by Ellis’ standards, even though it isn’t really his kind of music. He can respect talent when he hears it. Or sees it. Or whatever.
Ellis was on the Dr. Drew show tonight, but when they were talking about it on the show it was under the whole, Ellis is going to be on the Dr. Drew show tonight vibe, and they talked for a couple minutes about the topics that Ellis would be (or already did) talk about on the show. First topic was a re-visit to the topic of the Affluenza Teen who really really isn’t going to jail for running down people while drunk since he had the wonderful defense of being too rich to know the definition of the word consequences and a new story involving someone named Mike Dunn who shot a teenager who told him to fuck off.
But…no one cares about that right now because Mark Magrath and Tara Beaulieu are in the studio now!!! Wooooo!!!! The show of a billion guests!!! And, now that I see her name spelled I can fucking say it!!! Thank the fucking fictional maker. Anyway. She gets yelled at by French people for how she pronounces her last name, but they can go fuck themselves because it’s her last name and she has awesome side boob. She also likes to date much younger guys and has broken up with her 19 year old boyfriend for a 22 year old boyfriend and is going to have a stripper pole installed in her house for her young lovers to perform dances on for her. Mark McGrath and Tara Beaulieu have a show together called Killer Karaoke which Mark describes as American Idol meets Fear Factor after a bad, drunk one night stand. Ellis tells Mark that he saw a part of the show once and noticed that Killer Karaoke stole his pat a predator bit. They talk a lot about how Ellis is awesome and he’s the King of the West and Mark McGrath is honestly so funny and perfect as a guest that he should fill the third chair, I thought Hubbs was going to asphyxiate he was laughing so hard. And I don’t think that I can really adequately capture that in re-cap form, so go listen to at least the end of the show on demand. They played a shortened version of Ellis Jeopardy, which was cut short due to the fact that Mark was taking the game wayyyyyyyy too seriously and the game is obviously rigged in Tully’s favor as he knows Ellis best and they have like a weird mind reading thing going on. It was hilarious though, he was snarky and funny about it. They talked about Mark being on Rock and Roll Jeopardy and he was the master of that and Mark thinks that’s when the general public started to realize that he wasn’t as big of a douche as everyone thought he was. They take calls and….oh god!!!!! I almost forgot to mention that Mark and Tara absolutely do not believe how much Ellis and Katie have sex!!!! They talk about it at the beginning of the segment and at the end and Mark absolutely refuses to believe that Ellis has sex four to five times a day with Katie. But Ellis tells Mark and Tara that he loves Katie and he went to therapy for her and that it’s her fault because she walks around half naked all of the time and is just as into sex as he is. The show goes out with Ellis defending his sex life and ends with a final caller recap, which I will admit I turned off while saying, “I don’t need to listen to him…I own him.”
What we learned on the show today:
It was either really awesome, or really shitty being Michael Jackson’s contractor
Hulk Hogan is hopefully the biggest pot head of all time
Joe Rogan wins at life and is constantly tripping balls
Utah is beautiful, but it’s because of Mitt Romney the Olympics ever happened there
Tully saw his cat and his cat was super happy to see him after three months
The Olympics in Russia might have happened because of the Russian Mafia
TJES is a temple of misogyny
Frank DeCaro would pull his dick out at the supermarket if it were larger
Only 20% of Americans said that they couldn’t live without sex
Frank DeCaro is basically just a gay CumTard
The politically correct transgender field is a minefield
HateBreed + Hate Bean + Hate Beek = Metal as Fuck
Chanel West Coast smokes a lot so that’s why she didn’t remember to text Ellis back…and that is the only acceptable excuse a person can have
Tyler Posey’s face is a 9 but his soul is an 11
Dr, Drew is Ellis’ National TV Friend…Sam Rubin knows how the game is played
Tara can’t wear a push up bra on Killer Karaoke because it’s too distracting
Ellis Jeopardy isn’t up to Mark McGrath’s Jeopardy Standards
Mark McGrath playing Ellis Jeopardy is the best/worst thing of all time and should either happen every week…or never again
Mark McGrath has a punk rock dick and loves small vaginas
Tara is creeping on young Ellisfam on Instagram
There are 3 members of ZZ Top
James Hetfield is the greatest lead singer of all time, not Chris Cornell
Ellis considers Mick Jagger to be the first cool American…lol
That guy sucked but he worked hard and built himself up and banged the hottest chick ever- Kid Rock
Ellis and Katie pee on each other and laugh about it
TRT is better than HGH- if you go to sleep on your stomach, you will wake up levitating
Shoutout and Condolences to TJES caller David- sorry for the loss of your brother, Ellisfam’s collective heart goes out to you and thank you PatriotGuard.org for doing what you do and being there for this soldier’s funeral. Spread love, not hate.
Happy Happy Birthday to Az_RedDragon who is the one who connected me to this site and a lot of you absolutely wonderful people!!!!
Happy Birthday to my brother, Scottie from NY..I love love love you and I know you had a terrible day, but hugs and kisses from me and Hubbs to you!!!!
Frank’s dream is to re-make Miley’s Wrecking Ball video.
It’s Monday, and you know what that means! Time to wipe the shit off your lower lip and act like an adult in front your peers. It’s also time to pretend all those things you did on the weekend never actually happened. Wilson is still traveling that stinky shithole we all couldn’t wait to leave, going to Pink Floyd concerts, and getting terrible haircuts. Dingo is here though, he also left a stinky shithole, but he has lovely locks. Frank DeCaro came on the show right from the start, he has no hair, and I don’t think he has any plans to leave his husband’s stinky shithole. HEYOH! Frank has lost a child. In weight, not an actual child. He also went to Alaska and walked and stuff because he’s feeling more energized after dropping 30 pounds of homogenized fat. Ellis told Frank he’d send a boner picture to him if he lost another 30 pounds, Frank upped the bet by saying 40 pounds if there’s a tiny dribble of pre-cum on tip. I felt dirty and used just typing that. Dingo’s footsie coach in school said if you laid back and couldn’t see your pubes, you were overweight. This led the guys to think Dingo’s coach should likely be in jail, but he’s not. He’s still out there talking about pubes to young boys and his scientific method of measuring if you’re overweight or not. Speaking of pubes, Frank asked if Ellis had grown back his red pubes yet, Dingo quickly answered for Ellis – so what today must have been spa day for the two.
Rawdog at space camp.
Ellis is not a whale, but if he was a whale, he’d appreciate it if you didn’t steal his children from him. He also talked to Slash this morning and might have convinced him to come on the show again. Rawdog went to another hockey game with his girlfriend and they left about halfway through to meet up with his dad who was there covering the Emmy’s or some shit. Dingo made it sound like he was there watching them fuck in the crowd, but no. It was nothing like that. Everyone except Dingo thought the Mayweather vs Alvaraz fight sucked and El Diablo Blanco lost that fight, so who cares about the fight or what celebrities attended it. There was a shitload of talk about Justin Bieber because he was at the fight, but I completely blanked, I’m Bieber’d out. People died today after at least 1 gunman shot 11 other people at the Washington Navy Yard. There could be another gunman at large, deets are sketch, yo. So yeah, that sucks. Crazy shithouse people and their crazy asshole ways make for a crazy fuckhole of a world for the rest of us. Dingo has the Swiss Franc symbol tattooed on his arm for no apparent good reason other than his friend did it. Tully’s wife it totally dude friendly, they spent the weekend watching The Expendables 2, watching the Mayweather fight, and watching the Packer’s game – all of which was her idea. Apparently there’s a news story going around about Donald Schultz being charged with allegedly & illegally selling lizards.
Too much Bieber gives me a headache.
A little bit of dream talk. Dingo has dreamed a lot about having his teeth fall out and apparently that’s a pretty common dream, along with punching or running in slow motion in your dreams. Rawdog has dreamed a lot about falling and he wakes up just before he hits, like most children have dreamed. Tully recently dreamed about Justin Bieber and how they were old friends and they just wanted to get away from the crowds and go get a drink together, which should tell you something about Tully and scare the fuck out of you. And Ellis recently dreamed about his dad’s pale, dead body being wrapped in a sheet and in bed next to him. This lead into another fucking round of Justin Bieber talk. What. The. Fuck. I zoned out again because fuck that kid for being the topic of discussion not only once, but twice in an hour and half on the show I love. Thankfully the show went into break and stopped the Bieber shit.
A PSA should you have a need to collect your $1 million you won from a dice game.
We came from break with Hollywood news and I shit you not. And if I hear anything about Bieber, I’m going to make you all pay by scraping the recap and talking only about the potential presence of ancient aliens and Stonehenge. Some dude at a Beyoncé show pulled her off stage and into the crowd, she didn’t even give a rats ass. Ellis thinks Beyoncé is the greatest performer alive, Rawdog thinks Kanye is, and Dingo flipped the fuck out over the Beyoncé stance as he thinks Lady Gaga is the best, and Tully had to preemptively hush Dingo after he tried to hush him. So who is the greatest entertainer? I don’t fuckin’ know man, what the hell kind of loaded question is that? Carlos Santana crashed into a parked car in Las Vegas and he wasn’t even drunk, so it must have been a black magic woman. Hulk Hogan was in an accident, on a boat, and he had a boo-boo with some blood. Jaden Smith went on an anti-education tirade on Twitter, and clearly his 15-year-old ass smarter than everyone else’s so Stephen Hawking can suck it, man. P Diddy lost 1 million green backs to Rick Ross in a game of dice and he don’t give a shit about it, so suck his dick, bitch. Some chick born in America and is of Indian descent (dot, not feather) chick won the Miss America title and people are getting their white people underwear in a knot about it because they’re racist as fuck. Also, don’t read anything into that “dot, not feather” thing above, that was meant as a joke – you honky-ass cracker. HEYOH!
Kids? Sure! Love ’em! Taste great & less filling!
Rawdog is starting to make some changes to get in shape for his fight with Nick Swardson. What has he been doing to train? Lifting kettle bells again, cutting out a nugget or two from his diet, and forcing a green drink down every so often. Ellis has been provoking both Nick and Rawdog, so now Nick is looking to have Rampage or David Spade corner for him at EllisMania 9. This brought us to only second break in three hours because there’s too much show! This also brought me to mere minutes away from my gloriously shitty drive home in traffic, look at me go! No where. Insanely slow. Coming back, we had some clown news. First up, there are photos of a dude in Northampton freaking out people with his creepy clown behavior and nobody knows what the fuck is up his clown antics. Next up, you can hire a creepy clown to stalk and terrorize your children by sending them threatening texts and shit, what could possibly go wrong? And lastly, apparently the classic clown was a parody of the stereotypical Irish immigrants with big red noses and shitty clothes. Take that, ya drunken lushes! Only 3 breaks were taken today, showing that there sometimes truly is too much show and also showing how good the guys are. That’s a lot of radio without a break and isn’t easy to do. So shout out to the fellas for being sick cunts! I tried to call in as Jesus, stoked because he was the 47th caller. It turned out like shit, my phone kept cutting out, people couldn’t hear me and I couldn’t hear them. So sorry about that! But as The Lord, I’ma let you in on a little secret… How do I know the apostles were Mexican? There were twelve and they all traveled around in one accord. OH!
The Tranny Olympics rolls on with an all new tranny. TJES was in NYC and Foxxy couldn’t be there, so she called in her TS friend Paris Pirelli. Enjoy!
Tranny Twister with Paris Pirelli – 9/29/10
Download (link to MP3)
Bonus: “Eddie Murphy is a tranny fucker!” – 8/4/10
Download (link to MP3)
