Tag Archives: EllisMania

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 6/6/2012

Posted on by
Reply

What a better way to start a show than with a little “Suck a clit like a micro dick” freestyling! I can’t think of one, bet you cant either, so Suck a clit like a micro dick ootz ootz ootz Suck a clit like a micro dick. Fuck I better get out of that before I start taking ecstacy and trying to fuck a glowstick. California is upping its cigarette tax, sucks to be you. Ellis say a dude whopping up on his half retarded dog and he beat the shit out of him, in his head. In reality he thought he should but did nothing and drove off. At least he did say that if the dog was a kid that he would have actually done something. Thats comforting for all the kids out there, but dogs, your on your own. Somebody was getting beat up and shot the assaulter and this isn’t the interesting part, wait for it. Josh would shoot an attacker to only wound them. Wow, when I heard that I almost dropped my NRA card and spilled my jar of Hopps No. 9. Somebody should teach Mc Tumble Bum that dead men don’t lie and one story is better than two. An actual police officer told me that so I know it’s legit. And Tully was on Hair Nation being a DJ for some reason, I don’t know. But I do know you can hear it here thanks to Cobra Tits.

Zolar from the Howard Stern Show called in because he thought he heard himself mentioned on the show. Nope idiot, try listeneing sometime, its awesome. Many people think that Ellis and Howard are tight but that is wrong. Ellis said that he doesn’t consider Howard a friend, only an inspiration and they don’t hang out and pass notes. Canada has at least 4 flipper babies, congratulations, and we were graced with New Music Tuesday, on Wednesday. Just change the fucking name already, its been three weeks sinse NMT was actually on Tuesday. This NMT was different, and suprisingly good, for once. This time Josh played the song first and then Jason and Tully tried guessing the Artist, it was entertaining and fun. Now I am going to go jump onto my Pegasus and catch some of these flying pigs that keep shitting on my car.

Today was also Worlds Greatest Wednesday and we got the privlege of Mayhem Miller joining the guys in studio. As always, Uncle Mayhem was on fire and kept everyone on their toes. This WGW was “The Best Place To Have Your Penis” or something like that. I don’t think that there was a top 10 because there was a little disturbance in the WGW Force. I’m suck a fucking dork. Apparently Daniel Tosh made a skit on his show that made Rob Dyrdek look like a child molester. This spilled onto Twitter where the two slapped each other across the face with gloves and declared a duel. Perfect for Ellis Mania 8. But the wrench in the story is that Tony Hawk was in this same skit! Say it ain’t so Birdman. Ellis called The Hawk, there was some drama, a little name calling, I’m sure somebody started to cry. But at the end it seems all is well in the skateboarding world and everyone still hates Tosh. So much fucking drama that I almost forgot about the time your mom went to the eye doctor because her vision was blurry. He said that she has to stop masturbating. She said, “Is that why my vision is blurry?” He said, “No you have to stop because I’m trying to examine your eyes and the small from your rotten box is going to make me hurl,” OH!

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 6/5/2012

Posted on by
Reply

Y’all wanna see a dead body?

It’s taco Tuesday, titty Tuesday, twink Tuesday, whatever Tuesday. Fuckin’ pick one and enjoy that shit. Ellis saw a dead guy on the beach this morning, sounds like he was floating in the water all bloated and looking like an octopus and shit. Tully will be guest hosting on Hair Nation tonight and for the rest of this week, I’m anxious to see if he starts coming on the show in leopard print spandex pants and sporting bandanas tied around his wrists and microphone. Ellis went to a sensory deprivation tank yesterday for two hours, in accordance with his agreement with Rawdog that he would try it. Sounds like Jude might be going to Ellismania 8, that’s pretty fuckin’ awesome-sauce, right?

Come on ride the train hey ride it woo woo

Sounds like Rawdog banged a chick at the last Ellismania, to be more precise, he had 2 different chicks semi-fighting over him. I honestly don’t remember him ever bringing this up on the radio, but I do remember seeing a picture of him kissing on a chick at an after party at a bar. Big surprise here, a lot of religious people are really fucked up in the head and a lot of them hate homosexuals because Jeebus told them to or some dumb shit. That discussion went on for awhile, but nothing was really said that hasn’t already been said for centuries, basically it was just train wreck of fire and brimstone bullshit. A German chick was listening while on ellismania.com and I assume was lying when she said she does not do anal and is not into scat play. What German isn’t into sex involving fecal matter? That’s right, NONE! If you’re a short and fat girl, that’s a real bummer, if you’re short and not fat, you’re probably pretty fucking cute. If you’re tall and beautiful, you’re probably a model, otherwise odds are you’re a fucking Amazon, deformed, hideous oddity. Maybe you have gigantism and / or a mustache, I don’t know – nobody really knows, it’s not an exact science you fuckwit.

Swedish, German, does it really matter?

Some guy in Sweden masturbates so loudly he’s annoying the neighbors and the cops are just like “you guys deal with it, we’re not getting any Swiss cum on our shit”. According to one neighbor, he moans louder than an animal and it affects her state of mind. Of course it affects your state of mind, you’re probably super moist, ya Swede. Some dude claimed to be married to a chick with an identical twin sister, and unbeknownst to him, the twin came over and they got busy with sexy times but he didn’t realize it was the twin sister. I call straight up bullshit on this fucking story, it sounds like a rejected Penthouse letter. Some fucker from Missouri called in with a shit call, a message to you sir, me and @oxycottonjohn rule down here, so don’t go fuckin’ around and making us look bad, you shitdick.

Forever A Stallone

At 93 years of age, Mel Gibson’s father is getting divorced over alligations of elderly abuse. Way to catch that shit in time man, you’re on deaths doorstep and you want a divorce now? Shit must be fucking balls to the wall crazy up in Mel Gibson Senior’s Senior Center. There was some crime / murder / death / kill / funeral talk, (did you just catch that “Demolition Man” reference?) it was kind of a downer at times – especially for Ellis when it reminded him of his brother Stevie, but life isn’t always weed and titties and all types of ill shit. Next big call was some dude called in about his daughter getting molested / raped at knife point and wasn’t sure if he was going to give more information to the police or if he would take matters into his own hands. Since he called into the show to discuss it, that pretty much cements the decision, just give the information to the police because now you’re implicated. Hopefully prison justice prevails here because child molesters in prison don’t last long amongst general prisoners. There’s really nothing else to be said here, it’s sickening. No new music Tuesday today because Rawdog’s computer that he loves so much is a big piece of shit and wouldn’t burn a cd, so you can thank Steve Jobs for making fanboy toys, that eventually saved you from new music Tuesday – even though it has gotten better since Rawdog has stopped focusing solely on sad bastard, pumpernickle bread, bullshit. And as always, I have more information I feel I can tell you about your mother. You know how your mom says anal sex is like your first car? You don’t really want it, but your dad gives it to you anyways. So in case you don’t get it, your grandpa fucked your mother right in her asshole. OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 6/4/2012

Posted on by
Reply

Why is everyone such a cunt today? Fuck it, who cares, let’s just get right into this fucker of mothers Monday re-cap. Dingo was on the show today, and contrary to popular (or unpopular) belief, he has never licked dog balls and Rawdog’s pubic hair is like furry chocolate – or so he says. Ellis got in trouble because his son told mommy that he was being called a drama queen while he was camping, but Ellis swears he didn’t make him eat rocks or anything. Ellis locked his keys in his rental car so he smashed the window to get in. I think most of us at one point has locked our keys in our vehicles, but here’s my suggestion to you, and it’s a good one – I know because I’ve done it before. Look around for a shady looking dude, offer him $20 if he can prove how good of a criminal he is by breaking into your vehicle without actually breaking anything. BOOM! You’re in your vehicle within 5 minutes and shady guy gets a free twenty dollar rock to smoke on.

More talk about going to Thailand, staying in a hut, and tripping mushrooms. Dingo had some experience with Thailand, mainly getting some type of food poisoning or something right before he was to leave and spent 36 hours on a plane shitting and throwing up. Another new intern / call screener today, my Internet cut out for his entire introduction and came back after someone was calling him a liar – so I have no fucking clue what that’s about. But I do know this, his tentative nickname is Bitch Taco. Mouth guards came in today for the guys to wear at Ellismania 8 and so suggestions for what to write on them started flying. I think Rawdog’s is (or should be) “ManBoy”, Tully seems to really like “Princess” or possibly “Fuck Canada” (if it’s cool with Canadians), Dingo will be “Dr. Cunt” or “Way Gay”, I’m not sure Ellis really chose one yet – the one that was discussed is too long I believe, and @Butterballs_EM6 will most likely be going with “Pizza”. Kids are durable as shit, just ask any parent who’s dropped or banged their child’s head on shit, that’s why some kids have dents in their heads.

Apparently the new thing for celebrities is to get a “party girl IV drip” or some shit. According to Simon Cowell, it made him feel warm and fuzzy and he had energy for a few days. To be fair, he says the same thing after he’s been penetrated in the ass by several men. Cue callers who had stories of using IV drips during and/or after partying, such as a group of dudes who go out partying and bring their paramedic friend who has a cooler full of IVs and he administers it to them after they’ve partied themselves stupid. By the sounds of callers, people are abusing IVs left and right, they fucking chill them and dump that shit in their veins to help cool themselves down, etc.

So many people have been calling lately asking what’s up with “Red Dragons” and one caller capitalized on that today by asking “What’s up with all these dragons?” And another caller asked for a “Red Dragons” because he wasn’t a fucking retard caller. That unleashed a barrage of callers asking for a “Red Dragons” for one thing or another until the point that it became ridiculous, but in a good way. One of the toppers at the ending was a guy saying he just took a big fat Brad (a shit, named for another previous caller) and sure as shit, he got one. I thought those were pretty fucking funny, so you better have god damned laughed too! There must have been fifty fucking people calling in today asking for a “Red Dragons” for doing this, that, or some other thing but I digress. The big story here is while your mom was on vacation in Detroit, she was walking to the store for cigarettes and blunt wraps as a car pulls up. The guy in the car could tell your mom was ready to make a few bucks and asks her if she’s “working”. Your mom responded “as always honey” and turns on her charm and says “Tell me it’s true what they say about black guys” He then proceeds to stab her 37 times and steals her purse. And that’s how she met your father, Leeland. OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 5/24/2012

Posted on by
Reply

Great news folks, today was a full show! Some people felt that it was uncalled for and a bit “sissy like” to have bailed and other felt that Ellis should take whatever time he needs. Frankly I dont give two shits, it made yesterdays recap much easier for me so BOOYAH!  Ellis didn’t get in specifics about the reasons that he left, he just said that times are hard sometimes. But more importantly, THE HULK HANDS ARE HERE! This is one of the greatest days ever. Now Tully smash Rawdogs cock! Oh and also don’t fall in love with a hooker unless your Richard Gere and she has a gerbil ranch.

Roy of Sigfried and Roy has been molesting his care givers.  This is not shocking seeing that this man had his face eaten by a fucking tiger. Anybody that gets their face eaten off should have free range on all the man ass grabbin his disfigured self can handle. After this the phones went to a disturbing yer interesting version of EllisFam Love Line. Ellis said something about American Idol ripping him off or something, not sure, every time someone mentions that show I tend to blank out. Wierd. Someone on Ellismania.com said that it looks like Rawdog is starting to go bald. Thanks to high tech futuristic computers and doo dads (mainly bitPimps and his photoshop skills) we can see what Joah would look like with no hair. Kinda like if Howie Mandell fell into a pit of ugly and slipped into a bear trap on the way out.

Ellis, along with his many other ventures, wants to try his hand at insult comedy, he tried a little with the callers and I think he needs to practice a little, but he might turn out pretty good. There was also some discussion about what TV show ellis could be on, and I’m pretty sure somewhere in the show he said something about Ellismania.com. Oh, and some gay dude from Big Bang Theory is gay. Thats not the suprising part of that story though, you see one night while your mom was whoring around he was really lonely and needed some “affection” and after paying your mom her usual $3.50 he said that he’d rather fuck dudes than another lard filled cesspool you call a mum, OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 5/21/2012

Posted on by
1

Ellis went to see The Cult over the weekend with Will Pendarvis and a few chicks that are pro (fake) wrestlers for NWA or some shit, and it sounds like he had an alright time, sister. Rawdog’s rendition of any song by The Cult sounds like Michael Bolton to me, hotdog, sister. He also did not get laid this weekend, but did go in a sensory deprivation tank, where he could feel himself bump into the sides every so often. You know, that whole depriving the senses thing. The big news? Hold on to your hats, parking wasn’t $7, it was $15! Some Glee chick did something or another, or didn’t do something or another, I don’t know or care which. Seriously, the first two hours of the show was very oddly uneventful, it was actually a bit weird.

Everlast will be performing at EllisMania 8, along with of course Death! Death! Die!, and there is a bikini contest as well! There’s going to be an EllisMania Hall of Fame at some point, where specific contestants will be inducted, sounds like this might actually be in the future rather than this time around. Jon Jones got arrested for DWI and his mom had to come bail him out of jail. I ain’t makin’ no jokes about that dude or his mom because he could smash his elbow through my face, through the floor, and into the bowels of hell. Chyna passed out at a porn convention, apparently it was the 3rd time in the past 3 days. Unfortunately for her, something tells me we might be reading her obituary sooner rather than later. A father sewed his fourteen year old son’s butt together in an attempt to cure his Crohn’s disease. Fourteen. Butt sewn shut. And by dad. The fuck? Also, your mom’s sluttestry knows no bounds. Your mom went to see the doctor this morning for her annual check-up. He told your mom that she had to stop sucking dick. When she asked why the doctor said, “Because I’m trying to examine you!” OH!