Show Re-cap For Friday 8/17/2012

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Remember this guy?

Welcome to Friday’s show re-cap! Yo Ease let’s do this… I am a nightmare walking, psychopath talking, king of my jungle just a gangsta’ stalkin’… Wait. Sorry, this isn’t A Tribute To Ice-T’s Colors is it? NO! It’s not! We’re all getting older, time is flying, and some people fuck holes in the ground. Jizzy, jizzy on the wall, which Disney Princess has the biggest tits of them all? An overwhelming majority say Pocahontas. TMZ caught THC, Ellis, and Pendarvis leaving the studio. TMZ wanted to ask THC about his life saving heroism that he mentioned on TJES, but he didn’t want to talk to them about it – which means that you, the listener, got to hear that story exclusively on TJES! We all good on the acronyms?

Oh the things Gabby could show you!

Rawdog’s super hot, sexy as hell, totally fingerable, absolutely fuckable, sister Gabby was on the show today – and so was @OGEverlast, who’s turning 43 tomorrow and just found out he’s having another baby. Get this shit, there’s a real possibility that the Richmond siblings might all be snowballers! Gabby, along with Everlast (and the rest of the world) were floored to hear Rawdog got snowballed, when asked if she did that to her boyfriend, Gabby kind of clammed up and was clearly uncomfortable. I assume probably more because she’s hearing talk about her brother, his load, and him eating his load. That has to be one of the most awkward conversations to have with your brother and/or sister in the room.

Sup bitches!

Donald Schultz had super massive news today, he called in from Switzerland, piss drunk and slurring his words like a motherfucker – to tell us that the huge news is that he’s jumping off some big ass cliff that nobody else has ever jumped off of. Also, having two friends die is better than having three friends die. Next up, listeners got to call in with their favorite Rawdog stories, you know, so Gabby knows just a little bit more about her big brother. If you have been keeping score, she’s learned her brother: Got snowballed, got jacked off by 3 porn stars and ended up finishing by himself in a Popeye’s bathroom, he boned Sparky 2 times with the same rubber, his lost car at Coachella story, and how he washes his ass in the shower.

It’s true.

Listeners also go a treat as we got to hear “Doing Stuff with Gabby”, where she tried to explain how to tap a keg, change a flat bike tire, unload a boat off a trailer into a lake, how to start a gas grill, and how to get rid of a raccoon in your home. There were a couple more, but fuck it – it’s Friday and I don’t give a shit. Ellis will be working hard tonight and tomorrow, slapping porn stars, amongst other things, and recording it with a high speed camera. I don’t care if you film it in HD, high speed, a shaky camcorder, a phone, or a goddamned 8mm projector – hot naked bitches are awesome no matter what. Your mom was filmed in HD once, it was when NASA accidentally landed the Curiosity rover on her fat ass instead of Mars. OH!

EllisFam Interviews

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I have asked for the EllisFam to do a small 8 question interview so that we may get to know one another and how The Jason Ellis Show has changed or impacted our lives. These are their reply’s, unedited and all in their own words. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do, and thank you to everyone who participated. Without you all this wouldn’t be possible.

Clint (@QwertyRDS)

  1. Where do you live? South East Georgia, 3 minutes from Florida
  2. What is your occupation? IT tech at a big ass plant, only been there 2 weeks. I was unemployed since Feb 14th 2011. I literally tweeted that I got fired a minute after and got a bunch of responses from people concerned that I hadn’t even met in person. Ellisfam pretty much kept me from getting too dark in a bad time.
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. 30 year old former Marine, never been married, no kids. Love to grill/smoke food. (here come the ninja jokes)
  4. How long have you listened to TJES? Since Feb. 2008
  5. How did you discover TJES? A friend and I just got hired on as roving technicians (aka, we drove all over fixing shit) and I rode with him the day after he got Sirius. He caught Ellis the day before and spoke of him as if I should know of his show. It just so happens it was the show they were reviewing the Illusionist’s tape of him being jerked off by Joanna Angel and 2 other ladies. I bought my Sirius unit the next damn day, I was hooked.
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? When it’s just Ellis, Tully and Josh bullshitting the show is beyond awesome.
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? Yeah I’d say so. I got a lil heavy after getting out the military. I hardened the fuck up and dropped about 70 lbs. Halftime nowadays is motivational too.
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? I was at EM7 and met a shit ton of cool people. I tried to blaze with every ninja I could. Now that I am employed again, EM9 I’m looking for all the ninjas to party with, if ya know what I mean mate.

Julie Anuskewic (@julieanuskewic)

  1. Where do you live? Castle Dale, Ut aka Utah’s assho!e.  We moved here from Pittsburg, PA when I was 2 so my dad could work in the coal mines.  Actually, the Crandal Canyon mine collapse where the 5 guys died is 10 min from me.
  2. What is your occupation? Home Health R.N. I have been a nurse for almost 10 yrs.
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. I am 33. I have been married to my husband, Jeff for 6 yrs. We have been together 15years(very young when we met.) He is a boss at a CO2 plant owned by a corporation out of Canada so he goes up there quite often..I have a 14 yo son, Devon, and a 5 yo daughter, Illeana.  I have a cow dog named Dog, and an English Bulldog named Roscoe, aka Bubba.  We also have a dumb effin cat and a full grown bearded dragon.  I love animals….especially pandas, orcas, elephants, and owls. My neighbor owns zebras.  We got to pet a baby zebra that was being walked down the road on a rope leash..I love to ATV in the mountains or desert.  We are 15 min from each.
  4. How long have you listened to TJES? A little over 2 yrs.  My husband has listened for about 5.
  5. How did you discover TJES? My husband got me hooked.  Now I am obsessed.  I got EM tickets this yr without asking and made him go.  We had a blast!
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? I love everyone involved in the show.  What a great variety of personalities!  I love the honesty and loyalty.  The boys hold nothing back. We know every detail of their lives.  You can’t get that from any other show.
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? Of course it has! Brace yourselves, this may sound cheesy…  I have had many bad days..work, relationship, familial, life complications.  But the minute I start listening to Ellis, the problems seem to dissipate. Ellis, the boys, and Ellisfam, provide Laughter, companionship, entertainment, and respect….traits that definitely have impacted my life for the better! I feel that I owe a lot to the boys.
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? RED DRAGONS!.     Oh..my bulldog farts like a human..

 

If you would like to be apart of the EllisFam Interviews, please contact me (@Az_RedDragon) through twitter and I will send the interview to you.

Show Re-cap For Thursday 8/16/2012

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I hear 90 is the new WTF

Good evening folks, hope you are all snuggled in by the fire with your hot coco and your snuggie. Oh wait, is summer, fuck that shit. I hope your naked in the pool, that’s more like it. Toady started off like a pyro in a fireworks shop, first they talked about dino on dino violence and how that shits uncool, but its a good thing they’re dead otherwise the violence would be out of control. Bam had Kat Von D on his show, if you heard it then you were the only one. Rawdog laid his man card on the table and told his girlfriend that the chaps are out and she hasn’t brought it up since. Jackie Stallone, Sylvester’s mom, is pretty hot for a 90 something broad. Don’t fucking cuss around your fucking kids otherwise the little shits will start talking like I fucking do. Chicks that fake orgasms are just ruining it for themselves, honestly, if your man can’t get you off, then he really doesn’t care to begin with. RawdiggidyDog doesn’t think that Cher is the ultra massive icon that she is, and instead of making the argument, I will just say that she is. It’s on the internet, that means it’s true.

In Drunk MMA Sasquatch News, Forrest Griffin will not retire from the MMA, at least not yet. There’s a kid in Texas that should be recruited by half the college football teams in the country right now. 12 year old Elijah Earnheartis 6’1″ and weighs 197lbs, he would

When is Sandra Bullock gonna get here?

dominate, at least until it was time for recess, but after that, WATCH OUT! Some jealous dude is suing Tommy Lee because he ripped of his idea for the upside down drums, but lets face it, only Tommy Lee could pull that off and this pud whacker is just jealous of his mad skills. Linden B Jhonson was the most Boss President ever, and some chick from some movie fucked the director and got canned from the sequal. Looks like its back to the casting couch for you!

The Church of Hayden has returned! That’s right ladies and fondlers, the number one famous celebrity and Emmy Award winning actor Thomas Hayden Church has arrived, again. Not only that but just before getting to the swinghouse, THC became the hero of one small throated man. This dude was choking on some pasta and like a hero, THC jumped in and gave him the Heimlich until the sweet sweet breath of life reentered his body. They also talked about movies, surfing, Marlon Brando, their Dads, and his new movie, Killer Joe, in a theater near you. If you missed the interview/guest appearance, our friend Cobra Tits has once again proven that he is the man, here’s the interview. At the end they played, Guess Who’s Nipple, and Josh lost. For losing Ellis got to pick someone out of his phone to text and as we hoped, Jason picked his girlfriend. Unfortunately they thought bitPimps suggestion was too mean (I will see you tomorrow, my girlfriend is being a bitch right now), and went with the confirmation that Josh WILL wear the “assless chaps.” I tried to get yer mum a pair of assless chaps once, but I felt bad after I found out how many cows they would have to kill to wrap them around her gigantic gelatinous thighs, OH!

EllisFam Interviews

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I have asked for the EllisFam to do a small 8 question interview so that we may get to know one another and how The Jason Ellis Show has changed or impacted our lives. These are their reply’s, unedited and all in their own words. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do, and thank you to everyone who participated. Without you all this wouldn’t be possible.

Cyn (@Cynister72)

  1. Where do you live? I straddle 2 Provinces, Ontario and Quebec, Canada (Outaouais region)
  2. What is your occupation? I dick punch Fucktards. Oh you mean for a living, I’m a Commercial Insurance Broker. Fun stuff!!
  3. What do you do on your spare time? Photography, read, run around like a goofball with my son, tweet nonsense on Twitter, hang with friends etc. The usual.
  4. What is your hobby or a hobby you would like to start? Photography is my one real hobby
  5.  What do you feel is your greatest achievement in life? Besides my son (because he is), moving across the country 3 times in 1 year, without losing my sanity and landing on both feet each time.
  6. What kind of adventure or trip would you like to do before you die? (Bucket List) I want to hog tie Ryan Reynolds and…ummm never mind, that’s private. Besides THAT, I would like to take a year off and sail around the world, truly see it and document it with photography.
  7. What’s your happiest moment? Can’t include having a child or children. An up close and personal encounter with 2 dolphins. It was the most awe inspiring experience I’ve ever had in my life. Yes I’m a geek, get over it.
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? I’m not a part of the #EllisFam but I have been lucky enough to have “met” you crazy folks! I love how you all come together for each other; it’s a rare thing in this day and age.  So thank you for allowing me to see & share in that. Hugs and kisses to all!

Aaron Hunzinger (@AHdidit)

  1. Where do you live?  I live in Evanston, IL (2 blocks north of Chicago’s city limit’s)
  2. What is your occupation? I am the youngest of the 5th generation in a family business.  We have an industrial fabric company called Evanston Awning Co. were we manufacture awnings, canopies, and misc. fabric structures for commercial and residential applications.  When my family first got involved in the fabric business we made wagon covers, saddle bags, harnesses and leather goods during the Manifest Destiny (…when settlers moved west).
  3. Tell me a little about yourself. I build shit!  I dont read direction or instructions.  I do things my way.  If my way doesnt work…well…I dont really know.  I’ve never had anything NOT work. Being raised around metal and fabric my whole life and always being taught by my Dad to never give up and to always do my best. As well as being strongly influenced to try new things and to work for what I want.  It is because of these things that I now consider myself to be an artist.  I have taken what I do everyday and paved my own path while NOT leaving my roots.  Some of you may know, I build lamps.  I never make the same thing twice.  All of my lamps are 100% unique.  I love what I do.  I love my family.  I love my friends (especially the ones that are more like family).  I love my girlfriend (Megan Gwinnup).  I love that my family and friends support my crazy hobbies. I have MANY hobbies and/or things I spend my hard earned money on.  I have built 2 custom vehicles, more specifically I’ve built 2 minitrucks.  The one I cruise in these days is a full custom.  Bagged, shaved, and lay’d out…if you dont know, then you dont know.
  4. How long have you listened to TJES? Since he was on with Tony.  …a long fuckin’ time ago.
  5. How did you discover TJES? When Ellis said something about how he was getting his own show.  I figured if it had to be “somewhat good” since he made me laugh on Tony’s show.  I figured right!
  6. What keeps you listening to TJES? Jason Ellis, Tully, and even Rawdog (but mostly Ellis) have become a HUGE motivating force in my life.  They keep me thinking positive.  Listening to Ellis “preach” and seeing what he has overcome in his own life and seeing what he has become.  How can that NOT be influential?
  7. Has the show changed or impacted you life in any way? How? YES!  It used to be just that…a show that I listened to.  Then, one day my dentist told me that I had PRE-cancerous cells in my mouth from 13 years of smoking cigarettes.  I called the show and Ellis’ told me that I’m still young and that I have my WHOLE LIFE infront of me.  He told me “just stop” (smoking), so I did.  August 13th will be 3 years w/o a cigarette…cold turkey! 2 months after I quite smoking, my dad got cancer.  This is the point in my life where everything changes…  I saw my dad shrink to half of his normal weight.  He lost over 120 lbs.  My dad was diagnosed with Colorectal Cancer (the same kind that killed Farrah Fawcet).  After his first emergency surgery he developed a “leak”.  This put him in the ICU for 5 days.  He was being kept alive by machines, from what I saw.  During those 5 days that my oldman was in a coma, Ellis got on the sunject of how it’s OK for dudes to cry sometimes.  That sometimes it’s absolutely necessary.  So, I called in again.  I told Ellis my story and I cried…and so did he.  He told me that my dad wanted me to be strong and to not stop fighting for him.  That’s what I did.  With the help of my 2 older brothers, my mom, and my family, we got my dad back to health.  My brothers and I went back to work.  The only difference now was that WE were running the show.  We had to teach ourselves things that our dad never did as far as how to run a business.  We’d worked at Evanston Awning Co. our whole lives but never did we have to run the entire operation.  Today is Thursday, August 2nd my dad is healthy, my family is stronger than ever and last year was our the best year in the history of our family business.
  8. Is there anything else you would like to share? For me, I feel that listening to TJES has helped change my whole out-look on life.  I don’t take anything for granted.  I take every opportunity that is put infront of me.  I give everything I do 100%, anything less is failure.  I consider TJES a FREE form of therapy.  It is also the best motivator for getting off my ass and getting shit done.
  9.  …also while my dad was sick Ellis was working on Paul Blart: Mall Cop.  That influenced me to also get into acting.  In a 3 month span, I did 3 movies and 1 TV show.  I had the opportunity to work with Matt Damen, Brian Cranston, Laurence Fishburn, Kevin James, and Vince Vaughn.  I got direction from all time greats Steven Soderbergh and Ron Howard.  The only reason I got into acting was to get my mind off of my dad being sick.  BUT, the pay sucks so…I’ll stick with the family business and making lamps. The Jason Ellis Show (including the crew) has helped ME make MY LIFE better.  I am and always will be a fan and supporter of Ellis and EllisFam.

Love all you mother fuckers

-RDS-

Aaron Hunzinger
AHdidit
https://www.facebook.com/AHdidit  http://twitter.com/AHdidit

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If you would like to be apart of the EllisFam Interviews, please contact me (@Az_RedDragon) through twitter and I will send the interview to you.